I woke up the next day a bit early. Being a baby is so fucking annoying. I couldn’t see around me at all. I tried crawling and moving a little, but that was hopeless. I’m just not coordinated enough. I sighed. Or more of an extended huff because of my small size. After a while, I heard a commotion nearby. Finally, Aut is here. I was excited to get to see whatever city this was. Then I saw someone looming over me.

Who is that? I didn’t recognize them. Something about them made me quite uneasy. Why do they have a mask on? I made a bit of noise, trying to see how they replied. Their eyes sent chills through my tiny body. I recognize that look. I immediately began crying and screaming. I only got a second or so of noise out before I felt a hand cover my mouth. It was crushing down, as I desperately began using .

The pressure being brought down on me was not gentle. They want to kill me. They’re honestly trying to kill me. My ability to fight back was virtually nonexistent. How? How could I fight back? I could barely reinforce my tiny body to stop my bones from breaking.

“Are we sure this is the right baby?” the person covering my mouth asked in a hushed tone.

“Check their . It can only be one of two.” Another voice spat back.

“Something is suppressing it. Do we just behead the brat?” the first retorted.

“It’s a baby. Look for a charm or something.” The second snapped.

After a few seconds of forcefully moving me around, they found the bangle. Oh. Oh no. The bangle was off, and I could sense their shift. No. Not like this. I could see the one who had a hand on me raise their knife. please be enough to save me. I instantly created the best I could, focusing all my around my throat as I reinforced it as much as possible. Aut please. Please save me. Or Unn. Anyone! Please! I don’t want to die again! I flailed frantically, trying to alert the staff.

The knife came down, bouncing off my neck. It hurt like hell. Fucking hell. The knife barely didn’t cut my head off. Blood was trickling on the sides of my neck as a searing pain was on my throat. The figure was immensely surprised, before I could sense them reinforce themselves and knife with . They went to swing again before they went flying to the side. Thank you!

“Who are you?!” I heard Aut press.

The other two didn’t say anything, but I suddenly went weightless. The crib was thrown to the side as I heard a commotion. Go Aut! Please! You are the best! violently shook the room, as both sides clearly began fighting. I heard another figure burst into the room.

“Dammit.” I heard Unn snarl.

Then the fight really started. From how much the crib was moving around, I could tell that Aut and Unn were constantly moving me away from the attackers. Several were launched, as I could feel bursts of extreme heat followed by loud crackles of thunder. My body was not taking it well, as the vibration of the force was making it hurt. Please Aut and Unn, win. Please win. I heard a few sickening sounds, a massive thud, and then it got quiet. There was an odd, metallic scent in the room.

“You’ll pay for that.” Unn growled.

Then. . An incredible, soul crushing amount of . I could hardly breathe. The fight resumed, and I heard metal hitting metal. Several powerful fluctuations of later, I heard something did a crunchy splat against the wall, followed by this odd thump sound. That was not the end, as the fight continued. There was a rapid flurry of exchanges, as I heard several things collide in rapid succession, before a loud pop as another thing hit the ground. An instant later, Unn was over the crib. She immediately healed my throat.

“You’re alive. Lords above you’re actually alive.” Unn gasped. She left me, rushing to something.

“Don’t die Aut!” Unn cried.

What? Aut is dying? I felt something. This odd, hollow sensation as I began shaking. No! Aut can’t die! I made several distressed noises, trying to see if my tutor was fine. I’m so fucking useless. I tried to move, to do something. Please Aut. Don’t die.

“Don’t you forling dare die! Get your shit together Aut!” Unn snapped.

I heard a gargled gasp in response. No! Why?! Why does the world want to take everything?! I’m sorry Aut. This is my fault. Please, just live. Unn’s desperation increased, as I could feel her attempt to heal him. There was a maelstrom of in the room, as Unn desperately made attempts to save Aut. After a few moments, she just let out an enraged scream. She stopped after a second or two, before I heard her set Aut down.

“Dammit! Forling bastards! Why the forl did they have to drop their brat here?!” Unn roared.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause this. It didn’t take long for me to realize why she was so upset. Aut. No. I’m sorry. Please. Give him back. I’m sorry. Unn marched over to the crib, glaring at me with her hateful brown eyes. She reached down, stopping her hand inches from my neck before curling it into a fist. I’m sorry. Unn let out an incredibly frustrated sigh.

“Aut. I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you. I’m sorry.” Unn cried.

Unn slumped down by the sound. Unn was making some incoherent muttering by the sound of it. I’m sorry. Each little sob she let out felt like a knife to my heart. Aut. I’m so sorry. Unn lifted Aut from the sound of it, before crying a bit more. I could hear her rock back and forth as she wept. Please let this be a nightmare. I writhed in my crib, wanting to escape this. No matter how hard I struggled though, nothing changed.

Eventually, the sobbing stopped. Aut was set back down as Unn took a few composing breaths. I heard her start saying what sounded like a prayer. It was hard for me to catch the start, as Unn was saying it quite softly. Something felt like it was gnawing my soul as I laid there. Why? Why did this happen? Unn slowly began reciting the prayer louder.

“Lord Utol, please take him into your embrace so he may find peace on the other side.” Unn finished.

What was the rest? There was this odd fluctuation as this hauntingly beautiful air filled the room. Is this ? Or something truly divine? I thought about her words. She said Lord Utol. Is it a singular deity, named Lord Utol? Or is it some divine being called Lord, and the one is specifically Utol? The odd presence in the room made me think something truly divine. is real, I’m not dead, so there’s a chance that divine beings are real. Please be real for Aut. Please. Let him get a second chance too. Unn returned to the crib, picking me up. Her brown eyes had tears in them as she looked at me. She inspected my throat, before hugging me close.

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“What a mess. Is this retribution?” Unn asked me. What’s she talking about?

“What do you mean?” I tried asking her.

“The mess already began. They went for it, and so many people are going to die. That man is going to make them pay the toll in blood and suffering. I don’t know if he’s aware you exist, but I’ll need to make sure it stays that way.” Unn rambled.

“What man?” I probed. It was still just baby sounds.

“You know the sad part, Ash? Aut doesn’t even crack the top five mistakes I’ve made. Why would they trust me of all people?” Unn informed me.

“I don’t know. My parents abandoned me pretty quickly.” I told her.

“I’m trying to have a conversation with a baby. I guess it’s easier to tell someone who will never remember this.” Unn muttered to herself.

“I will remember this though.” I retorted.

“Ash, you’ll need to be strong; Aut saved your life tonight between his actions and lessons. It was a miracle that assailant didn’t try that hard the first time.” Unn whispered.

“I was training. Granted, I didn’t realize the stakes.” I confessed.

“Am I going to repeat the same mistake? Why? Why do I get the chance to make more mistakes?” Unn whimpered.

“What mistake?” I checked. Unn took a composing breath.

“This is going to be a bloodbath. Come on. You need to rest; I need to clean this.” Unn stated.

She walked back to the crib, and for a few seconds, I could see the room. The original masked assailant was against the wall, with several ribs protruding from their chest. There was a fist shaped hole in them, as their head was hanging off by a few threads of sinew, with a massive splash of blood up the wall. The other assailant was on the ground, missing part of their leg. Additionally, one of their arms was about six feet from their body. Where’s their head? I then saw Aut, lying motionless in the middle with a cloth over his face. His massive frame was still, surrounded by a pool of blood. Aut. I’m sorry.

Unn set me down. I heard her begin scraping the body off the wall. The sound of viscera being scraped was unsettling. Why Aut? Why would you sacrifice yourself for me? My heart felt like it was in a vice. Why? Why? Unn plopped a large piece into a bucket. She kept sighing, taking several deep breaths as she cleaned. The scent was making me sick. I laid there, trying to understand what happened. I heard Unn leave a few times, emptying the bucket. She began scrubbing the room.

“Why is Ash not making noise? He didn’t even cry and protected himself from the knife.” Unn probed after a bit as it dawned on her.

“I don’t know.” I whimpered. I don’t know what to feel. She walked over to me, picking me back up to look at me.

“You are a strange baby. Aut actually liked you, which might explain a bit.” Unn chuckled.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about Aut.” I apologized.

“At least you won’t remember this thankfully. Or Aut. I’m sorry Aut; you deserved better.” Unn muttered.

“I will. I don’t think I’m ever forgetting this, or Aut. Aut saved me.” I sniveled.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Unn assured me.

“It’s not. Aut is dead and it’s my fault.” I retorted. Unfortunately, only baby sounds came out.

“Ash, your lessons will continue; I’ll teach you. I know you’re a baby, but you’ve done well so far. Maybe it’ll be a chance to atone for making that monster.” Unn informed me.

“What monster?” I checked.

“I need to finish cleaning. The rest of the staff will be here soon. I think I need to keep you by my side at night now. That was so stupid of me. I’m sorry Aut. You paid the price.” Unn muttered, taking another deep breath as she put me down in the crib.

Unn resumed scrubbing all the blood clean. There was a sickening scent of lemon and metal in the room. I laid in silence as she finished cleaning. It was a long wait as she finished. I heard Unn lift Aut’s massive frame as she carried his body out. Unn was gone for what felt like an hour before returning. She was sniffling a bit when she returned.

“I’ll need to arrange for his funeral.” Unn sighed.

She walked over to the crib, picked me up, and put me in a sort of backpack. Un walked out of the room, and I had a decent view of the orphanage. From what I could tell, there was a central pavilion the rest of the building went around. The orphanage was about three stories, with about four to five rooms per side. Maybe not true in the front but I can’t see there from this path. The building had seen better days and needed minor repairs here and there. It was gray stone with dark wood trim throughout.

We reached a kitchen, where several staff were filing in. The instant they all saw Unn, any smile or joy vanished from their faces. Her looking upset must be rare. Unn sat down, setting me in her lap as she waited for the staff of the day to arrive. They all wordlessly sat down, waiting for Unn to speak.

“Aut is dead. I will arrange for his funeral, and for someone to replace him. I will take charge of watching Ash in the meantime.” Unn informed the staff. The mood was instantly crushed.

“What happened?” Woona asked.

“I’m not sure.” Unn lied. Why is she lying?

“Why do you need to watch Ash?” A different one probed.

“Ash has . He needs to be watched until he’s old enough to understand how dangerous it is.” Unn answered.

“Is it smart to keep him around?” one of them checked.

“We aren’t turning away a child because they have a difficult .” Unn snapped.

“What about when he’s older?” the second one asked.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. A lot will depend on how Ash is when he’s older.” Unn stated. Or if my parents return. I doubt it, but you never know.

They discussed some of the logistics of running the orphanage, as well as Aut’s funeral. I felt like I’d been stabbed as they discussed the funeral. I’m sorry Aut. Unn dodged a few questions. She’s keeping the deal off the record. Everything seemed decided as Unn put me back in the backpack and walked back to her office. As she walked, I noticed a few other kids. I wonder what they’re like. We reached her office, where Unn set me in a crib. She plopped into her seat, grabbing her head as she let out a deep sigh.

“Why couldn’t they have left you with Acill? He’s right above in Gyzga.” Unn grumbled. She shuddered a bit, taking a few composing breaths.

“Why is his wife such a bitch? The first place that bastard would check too is with Acill. Why are you being more considerate to him than me?” Unn whined.

“Because he’s such a close friend; you are trying not to drag him into this mess. I’m not so innocent.” Unn sighed. I didn’t ask for this. I’m sorry.

“What am I going to do with you? Aut was teaching you . Should I resume? Or teach you ? I can deal with your .” Unn mused.

Unn walked over, taking off the bangle. I could feel my flow around me again. Unn sighed, sitting back down at her desk. What should I do? I need to be able to defend myself. What if they try again? Being a baby is a massive hurdle. I tried summoning the knife again. Unn walked over, seeing what I was doing. After a few moments, I had a fully formed kitchen knife in my hand.

“Interesting. and are similar, but how is a baby performing ? That shouldn’t be possible.” Unn muttered. She tapped the edge of the knife, before looking surprised at the light scratch on her finger. Why is it surprising? Aut has been showing me quite a bit.

“I thought Aut was exaggerating what you could do. No wonder he freaked out.” Unn stated. What about is odd for a baby?

“I’ll need to think about it. You seem to have talent for .” Unn told herself.

She sat back down at her desk, taking some deep breaths. I’m sorry. She began working on some more paperwork. I kept up , practicing what Aut showed me. Who is Acill? Why does Unn think my parents would leave me with him? Aut would be alive. I felt these odd pangs in my chest. My throat felt weirdly tight.

Unn was quiet for a while. My stomach growled after about two hours. I made some noises, which got her attention. She walked over with her stern glare. I made a few more noises until she realized I was hungry. It’s the best I can do. I grimaced through the sludge. This taste terrible. Not soon after, I needed a diaper change. Unn put me back into the crib and returned to her desk.

My recovered a bit. I continued practicing what Aut showed me. I need to practice this every chance I get. Thank you for showing me this Aut; you saved me. I used on one hand and took the knife in the other. This is probably a bad idea, but practice is what I need most. I still stabbed myself with the knife to see if my held up. It let out a loud clang sound as they collided. I barely felt that. Unn materialized next to me with a face quite less than amused.

“Did this baby just test its own ?” Unn muttered to herself.

“I need to practice. It’s what Aut would’ve wanted.” I whimpered.

“You really do seem to respond like you understand and talk back.” Unn observed, shaking her head a bit.

“I do though.” I informed her. Only baby noises came out though.

“What an odd baby. Don’t do that again.” Unn lectured before returning to her desk.

But. What else do I do? No amount of begging was going to bring Aut back. No matter how much I want him back. I kept up my . Why? Why did Aut pay the price? This hollow void ate at my soul as I thought about Aut. My wavered a bit. Unn was going in and out a lot. Probably arranging for the funeral.

I practiced what Aut showed me until my was exhausted. The headache that came with using all my up was agonizing. Unn checked on me after several hours, seeing me shifting in the crib. She put a hand on me, and her face turned to pure confusion.

“Why aren’t you crying? You’ve used your all up.” Unn stated.

She picked me up and began feeding me some sludge. I powered through it, enjoying my recovering a bit. Will I even get to go to the funeral? I doubt it. I won’t even get to say goodbye. My heart felt so heavy; I wanted to scream. What good would it do? I did a few mini flails to vent this feeling. It did little to improve how I was actually feeling. Unn came over to investigate the noise I was making.

“I guess training with Aut everyday probably means he’s been exhausting all your energy.” Unn sighed.

“That’s not it!” I cried at her. She just shook her head in annoyance.

“Here, this should tire you out.” Unn stated, handing me a little ball.

I instantly felt the ball try and rip every drop of out of me. What is this? I tried moving it away from me, but the ball seemed to crave going near me. It went to swat it with one of my infant arms. It felt like I was trying to move the world when I pushed against the ball. Why? I tried voicing my discomfort. With Unn, it seemed to fall on deaf ears. She watched me struggle with the ball for what felt like an eternity before taking it away. Bitch. My baby body did not have the strength to vocalize that thought as I passed out.