{Alex}

“What the hell?” I asked as I looked around the strange room. One moment, I was in my apartment getting ready for some… let’s just say personal time. I still had the bottle of jasmine lotion in my hand. I like the scented lotions as they make me feel less alone and leave my junk silky smooth. Now I was in my pajama bottoms, shirtless, standing in a strange temple that smelled horrible. A young heavy-set girl, maybe fourteen with long blonde hair, a squished nose, was wearing a frilly pink dress. She looked at me like I was her next meal. I gave a nervous laugh hoping I wasn’t being pranked. This was unlikely as I had no friends and most of my coworkers knew better than to try anything with me. “Sorry kid, I prefer women my own age.” I said feeling a little of my normal chill seep back into my voice. She frowned as she looked me over. Someone coughed and I looked over to see an old wizard who looked to be in his fifties. He wore a long green musty robe that covered most of his frail frame.

“Behave yourself or you’ll be killed.” He growled and from his tone it was clear he wasn’t kidding. Looking around I was half expecting Daniel Radcliffe to show up with his crew to tell me I was a wizard. A circle on the ground had shapes that made my head hurt if I looked at them too long or tried to focus on any one of the shapes. Braziers sent up plumes of foul-smelling smoke and I was very grateful that the top of the tower was open. The slightly pudgy teen poked my stomach and frowned.

“This one looks okay. let’s hear his skills.” She whined and I badly wanted to poke the brat back. The old man in moldy green robes approached me and put a claw-like hand on my back. A weird tingle ran up my spine as a picture came to my mind.

RACE: HUMAN

AGE: 26

STRENGTH: 5

INTELLIGENCE: 27

MAGIC: 4

AGILITY: 3

CONSTITUTION: 7

CHARISMA: 5

SKILLS: METAL MAGIC

It felt weird like I had just been stripped naked in front of these two. It wasn’t right and I scowled at the pair. Not for the first time I wished I could kill someone. The old man scoffed as he read out the stats. She made an ugly face like she had just sucked on a lemon and puffed out her cheeks as she looked at me. It made the pig girl look even worse if that was possible. What the hell was going on? She turned and left the room in an angry huff. “Another failure. Get rid of it.” She said as she waddled out of the room. Who the fuck was she calling a failure. Her diet was a failure. Luckily, I was able to keep that to myself. The old man looked at me and frowned. I hoped he couldn’t read my thoughts.

“Follow me.” he said, an almost bored look on his face. It was clear this had happened a few times. I still had the lotion in my hand as we walked down a hallway. The smell coming off the man was ungodly, and I badly hoped wherever I was understood what a bath was. Thank God that I wasn’t asked to entertain the young pig girl at least. Old Slimy led me to an office covered in papers, scrolls, it smelled horrible and from the looks of things this is where he would hide to recover from a hangover. The large desk was covered in stains. Did this guy ever clean? He sat behind his desk and looked over his fingers at me. “Well long story short, you are fucked.” He growled as he smiled at me. Who was he to tell me anything? I just looked at him blankly as I tried not to scream at him. “You are another failed summon. She does this at least four times a year. You’re the second of this year alone and I swear it isn’t even fourth month. You are understanding me, right?” He asked through yellow broken teeth. I just nodded. “Good. Now if you tell anyone about any of this, there will be a price on your head, and we will kill you. Just to make things a little more fair, I will give you a bag of coins if you sign this.” He slid a paper to me. “This world has contract magic. If we didn’t have contract magic, slaves would be troublesome, and contracts would be a nightmare. You do know what magic is?” So, slavery and magic are common here. Good to know. I looked over the page carefully. Nope can’t read this at all. Not sure what staring at it would do, maybe some magic translation thing would happen, but no. It looked like scribbles and scratches. 

“I won’t sign anything I can't read.” I said coldly. He frowned and looked blankly at me. For all I knew he was planning on making me a slave or worse his maid. I don't look good in a French maid outfit. A mostly scruffy skinny man with long black hair from the southern US in a maid outfit may be on someone’s search history but wasn’t on my bucket list.

“What world and time are you from?” He asked as he reached for a large book.

“Earth 2023.” I said with a shrug. So, I was on another world. Multiverse theory was a little bit of a bitch, but not out of the question. This must mean I am in an Isukai world. Great and from the sound of it I was being rejected. I have seen a few anime like that, so things weren’t out of the question. At least I wasn’t being crowned a hero. White spandex wouldn’t look any better on me.

“That narrows it down to five worlds or at least as much as I can tell.” He started flipping through it and from what I could see it was the only book without dust covering it. “Hitler is that a name you know?” I nodded at his question. “That narrows it down to two and both use the same writing. It should be good enough.” So other worlds have a Hitler. I wonder how much our worlds differ, but that wouldn’t help me at this time. I needed to focus. He started sifting through papers and pulled out a sheet before he looked at it closely and passed it to me.

The signer agrees to a vow of silence in exchange for a pouch containing no more than six gold.

Sign here.

I looked at him blankly. “I’m not signing that.” he frowned. Fuck that in the ass.

“Why?” he asked, looking a bit angry. I was tempted to laugh, but now would not have been the time for that.

“By the wording of that I won’t be able to talk at all.” I said coldly. If this thing was magical, I would have to put a lawyer cap on for a little while. Best not to sign anything I didn’t understand fully or didn’t tip to be in my favor. He looked at me like he had eaten a spicy onion. That’s right, you aren’t dealing with an idiot. This had to be the Old Stinky's plan to begin with. I had read a number of fantasy books and knew how wishes worked in them. I didn’t think day one was the best way to fuck around and find out. “Will you let me write one up?” I asked, hoping to show my most innocent face. He frowned and took a deep breath.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“Fine, Let’s see what you got.” He said with a sigh. I pondered over it for a little and quickly wrote something down.

The Signer will be unable to speak about the manner they were brought into this world in exchange for no less than six gold.

Sign Lex Luther

He looked it over and nodded. I hoped he didn’t know too much about my world. Maybe he thought my name was really Lex. At least I didn’t have to shave my head to pull this off. He took it and waved his hand over the paper. A pressure was placed around my neck like a weight as the page glowed slightly. Well shit, I had put the singature so even if I had only put an X on the spot, it would have still worked on me. Fuck me I would have to be more careful if I was going to make it in this world. He smiled and pushed a leather bag to me. “Here is your gold. Now get lost. I suggest you seek out Gerold Helttom. He is an old friend of mine and should be able to put you in your place.” I could see where this was going. Fuck that right in the ass. Like hell I would ever deal with whoever that was.

“How do I get back home?” I asked, already knowing the answer. No one ever comes back after being sent to another world in all the stories I knew of. He gave me an evil laugh and once more I felt the want to kill him. He had brought me here after all.

“Not going to happen. It would take no less than sixty large mithril coins, the price of a small country. Face it, you're stuck here. Get used to it.” He pulled out a small foul-smelling bag and pushed it to me. “I’ll even throw in a bag of clothes so you can fit in. I feel partly responsible for you after all.” He said dismissively. Right, that or he didn’t want to make it obvious that I had just been brought here by his magic. Old Stinky really pissed me off. I took the bag and was escorted to an empty room before being ordered to wait until I was fetched. A guard in shiny silver armor knocked and looked down at me disappointedly as I scratched the dirty linen shirt and pants.

“Follow me.” He said almost bored as he sighed and took me through passages until we came out into a brightly lit world. Fucking hell, I needed sunglasses before being shoved into the daylight like this. I worked in IT after all. I barely saw the sun on a good week. The hated orb was high, and the guard looked at me sadly. “You are free to go.” I smiled at him. Come on little cow, let me milk you for information. Knowledge is key and I needed keys if I was going to live.

“How much is a loaf of bread worth?” I asked, trying to sound like I was asking about the weather. He looked at me puzzled.

“Three copper.” He replied blinking. I smiled and tried not to make it too evil looking.

“How many copper are in a gold?” I asked as the evil tilted my face. He smiled and put his spear inside clearly catching on.

“You are going to bite that old goat in the ass.” He laughed. “Come with me and we’ll have a drink and I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Been a while since we got a smart one.” He said with a chuckle as he took me through town. I stopped when I felt the ground shake beneath my feet. An earthquake? No, it was regular, almost like footsteps. Fuck me if this world had a T-Rex walking the streets. He looked back and then slapped his forehead. “You don’t have Knights in your world.” He exclaimed as he grabbed my hand and pulled me through the alley. “You are going to shit stones when you see this.” He exclaimed. I doubted that fully. He pulled me to a street that seemed a bit too large like a four-lane highway. The shaking was matched by a light rumble that was slow and rhythmic as it seemed to shake everything. He beamed as I saw something far too large move into view and then move past. I looked after it to see a knight in armor walk down the road. To say this was a knight was to call an elephant a dog. I felt the smile lift my face as I looked after it. The shape was the same, but the thirty-foot humanoid shape that shook the land with every step was huge and made my inner child sing with want. I inwardly started humming the Pacific Rim theme song as I licked my chops. It was a fucking Mech. I had a huge childish grin on my face as I started to drool. I loved Gundam and Zoids, the shows and kits. I was now in a magic world with my own magic with FUCKING MECHS. Ho, this world was going to be my bitch. Wiping my chin and looking at my new favorite cow I managed to croak,

“How the hell do I get somewhere where I can make those?” I didn’t want to pilot them. That sounded like a good way to end up in a shallow grave. Fuck that. Building them though, it would be like a kid with his first Lego set. I wanted my Lego set, and I wanted it now. He gave me a weird look and smiled.

“Buy me that drink and I’ll tell you.” He led me to a bar and happily started drinking his fill. Over that day he informed me that one hundred silver made up one gold and so on for silver and copper. Same for small mithril and large mithril. So, I was paid enough for a small family to live on for three years. It only cost me fifty copper to get this information and seemed like money well spent. I drank sparingly and let him have his fill as I milked Cow for every bit of common information I could get. The best way to keep my neck free and get my way was to learn about this world. 

At the end of the night, I had him introduce me to a captain of a caravan that had Mechs going to a valley in the middle of nowhere. This is what I needed. Step one, get to somewhere where I can be forgotten. If I’m forgotten, I can’t be hunted. Maybe I was overthinking things but living longer seemed like a good thing to do. Captain Von Gon Halthos, leader of the Halthos Caravan seemed happy to meet me and happier for the one gold to take me to Happy Valley. A peaceful village in the middle of most routes that had a Knight repair shop. It was run by a ball breaker who would happily put me through a wall as much as help me. I would just have to try to charm my way into his employ once we meet. That should be easy enough so long as I don’t piss him off. Well, deal with that when the time comes.

 Halthos turned out to be a slightly heavy-set man in his late thirties with an expansive gut, over the top attitude and happy to use others. He told me he would show me around in the morning. I was wise enough to do the half when we start, half when we get there, ploy. So, step one was taken care of. Step two, learn to use magic. I was leaving people behind in my old world but living seemed like the best way to get back to them if I ever cared to do so. Two of the gold coins were rocks. Once I found that out the pressure on my neck lifted. I figured that the magic keeping me quiet was no longer working. Even though I could now talk freely, best not to do so here. The best way to end up dead is to scream I’m an outsider, take advantage of me. Not going to do that. I am no hero and not a fucking idiot.

{Kavos The Rift Walker}

The scroll that held Alex’s contract started fading to dust in a drawer of the arch mage Kavos’ study. He didn’t notice as he was gambling that two gold away in a dark room across town. The new fool would be long dead or even better a slave before he noticed the missing gold. Kavos frowned at his losing cards in his hands. Maybe one day he would realize how easy he was to read or how little others actually trusted him. The contract was broken by him, and he had been paying the price in bad luck even if he never realized it. He had bad nights all the time, so this was nothing new. All he cared about was getting his next big score. The others across from him would help him make his two gold last the night at least. They knew the best way to keep him coming back is to let him walk out with five silver in his pocket.

{Alex}

With a shrug, I tossed the two stones aside and smiled at the rest of the coins in my pouch. I hoped a house there wouldn’t cost too much. Every evil empire must start somewhere. We would be leaving in the morning, so I went to my room at the inn. One can’t break a world without a good night’s sleep. I let my new life sink in. I would never see my family, never see my apartment. Why was she summoning people only to kick them out? Why not just outright kill them when they failed to meet whatever standard they wanted? There had to be a reason. What was she looking for? I pushed the table under the window blocking it slightly and the chair under the doorknob to prevent people from slitting my throat in the night. Best not to be caught off guard even though I knew I was useless in a fight. I sat on the straw bed and frowned. I missed my memory foam mattress and six pillows. I missed my phone. Why couldn’t I have had it on me when I was summoned? I would miss my parents, my siblings and fast food. The only real upside is I didn’t leave any pets behind. Well maybe my digital cat on my phone will die, but my soul could handle that death. I blew out the candle and lay down in the dark room. No nightlight, no ASMR going on my phone, no neighbors stomping around over my head. Goodbye Earth. I closed my eyes and tried to let my mind settle. I would need to sleep if I was going to live, and I WAS going to live.