The squirrel twists its head, furiously trying to get free. I'm dragged across the wet grass, screaming and crying through the rain. My arm’s about to rip off. Just do it!
Lightning flashes again, and that's when it starts. Pressure wells up inside me, like another mind nudging my own. I concentrate on it. Like a thought that's in the process of becoming a thought, and I realize I'm picturing the squirrel that's trying to eat me. I'm seeing it clearly in my head. Snow white fur and a big bushy tail and that rat-like face.
There's a foomp, and a bushy tail spurts out of my backside. It puffs me off the grass, exploding out of my pants. Having a tail grow suddenly like that is strange, I tell you. It just spurted out! My arms shrink, sucked back into my chest. The elbows crack and invert slightly. My muscles twitch and slip away from the squirrel’s teeth. The creature backs away, hesitant. It twitches nervously, patting the blood on its face and teeth and stomach. It blinks at me like I’m the monster now. And again, I picture that squirrel lying on the street, crushed and waiting for death.
My shortened, skinny limbs thicken like a bulge of water traveling through a hose. Then my head snaps back. My two front teeth jut out and get bigger and bigger. Oh god; I roll onto my belly. My tail swishes free from my pants as they fall away, and I crawl on the grass, still covered in the soaked cloak, half human, half squirrel.
My hips snap and shift lower. My thighs thicken out, growing muscular and strong. There’s an ugly itching in my feet, and I realize they’re expanding like crazy. My soaked sneakers pop, and my toes, now claws, burst out. With a grinding noise, followed by a series of cracks, my spine changes, curving inward.
I scream, but my throat's not my throat. It's the squirrel’s. And all I manage is a chattering screech. Fur shoots out of my pale skin, fur the color of snow, and then my eyes slide away from each other. As if pushed apart by some invisible force. The world shifts. The rain bends around me, and my eyes grow larger and larger, and I can almost see in every direction.
The Arctic Squirrel doesn't move, frozen like a deer caught in headlights. Lightning flashes again, and I see every detail of its stupid squirrely face. All the blood dribbling down its fur. But that means it can see mine too, and I realize I'm a carbon copy of it. That's more than the squirrel can handle; it drops to all fours in the blink of an eye. Thunder crashes hard overhead, and the Arctic Squirrel bolts back into the snowy woods, leaving me alone in the storm to feel my guts rearranging.
Have you ever had sharp, shooting pains in your gut and thought this was it? This is how you'll die? I read once that during open surgery, you can take out a person's intestines, stomach, kidneys, and everything. Then put them back in and kind of jostle the body like an open duffel bag. The body naturally figures out where everything belongs. Like how oil and water separate in a graduated cylinder because of their different densities.
That always seemed like utter bullshit to me. I wiggle out of my pants and plop onto the wet grass, lying on my belly, blinking as rain crashes down all over me. For a second, I think I might throw up. Nausea makes my head spin like a Ferris wheel, but it fades. The
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I'm a giant, snow-colored rodent with a thick tail. A tail I can move by flexing my butt. My short-sleeve uniform is still on me, but it's a tighter fit on the larger squirrel torso, and it tears in several places so that my white fur pokes through. The cloak covers me like a weighted blanket, my bushy tail swishing out from underneath it.
Food!
What? I hop on all fours, my heart pounding faster than I thought possible. Hunger! Need to find food! Will starve!
I have to eat. I need to eat. If I don't find something to eat right now... why is it raining? I don't like the rain. My fur is all wet. I can't smell. I can't smell food or danger. I sniff, raising my nose to the dark clouds, trying to find my bearings. What's this heavy thing on top of me? It's weighing me down! I'm suffocating!
The rain is smothering my senses. I can't see very far. Everything is dark. Too dark. But my nose is strong. My nose can find anything. I trust my nose. I sniff deeply, inhaling over and over as my heart pounds away.
Rain. Wet. Salt? Salt. There's salt in the air. I've gone too far. This isn't home. Where is the snow? I have to hide! Predators! Monsters! Danger!
But where is home? Where is safe? Where is food?
I scratch the cloth on my chest. My claws cut through it with ease, but it won't get off. It's around my arms. Around my belly. Too tight. I’m stuck! I don't like this one bit. I don't like being wet.
On all fours, I move through the grass, sniffing everything. The drenched soil. The little flowers and mushrooms I know not to eat. The pebbles and worms.
Lightning flashes. The world turns completely white for a second, and I freeze.
I'm seen. Someone's seen me. But who?
Everyone!
They'll eat me. They'll eat me if I don't eat them first. But who? Where? I scan my surroundings with my wide field of view, searching, straining to see through the rain, heart pounding relentlessly.
Then comes thunder. Like a billion crashing drums rolling across the sky, and I swear my heart is trying to escape through my throat. Slipping out of the heavy wet cloak, I dash forward, faster than a bullet, cutting through the sea of shimmering grass like a shooting star. My claws splash through mud. I slide and skid in the rain. My tail stays down, trailing behind me, and it's not until I catch the scent of something sweet, that I stop.
It's an abrupt, instant stop, from blazing speeds with the world flickering around me to a complete halt. The sweet scent is very strong. It's close. It's here!
Hunger is stronger than fear. My heart pounds so hard, my entire body trembles, and I glance all around. Nothing but rain. Only rain. My nose twitches. My eyes search and search. It's just rain. Just dark. But I have to find this scent. The sweet scent of something promising and delicious. If I don't find it, I'll die. I’ll die!
The grass is taller here. Wind shivers through everything, and I move slowly through this taller sea, feeling more comfortable as I'm less visible. And then I nearly stumble upon it. My claws touch it first. It's a fruit. A peach, I think. Me? What part of me knows this thing's name?
Some part of me. I like peaches. I love peaches. Fresh peaches from the supermarket down the block. Every Monday morning when they restock. Jia's favorite.
This will satisfy me. I know it. I hold it with both claws, eyeing the exposed orange flesh from where someone had bit it. The rain washes away the dirt sticking to its fuzzy skin. I’m salivating uncontrollably, and I know it’ll be delicious. It smells perfect. No rot. No bugs. I chew through it with my teeth, gnawing at it, the juices running down my chin. The burst of sweetness is more important than the entire world. It's not till my teeth strike the hard pit that I stop.
Jia!
I remember!
I'm... human. I'm Sam. I'm not a squirrel!