It’s been five days since she left.

I had to make a choice. It was life or death.

Their lives, or her death.

I chose them. I’ll always choose them.

Captain’s Log, Mayhem

Captain Fraser Connell

****

I went down to the harbor at dawn, just like I had every other day since returning to Hastrior.

Except for the first one. Still wish I could get a do over on that.

It’s been two weeks since Ozora and Taenya fell back into my life.

Literally. From the sky. On a dragon.

I’m still seething that in such a short amount of time they’ve coerced me into staying in the city I hate, training with the woman who broke my heart and sank my ship.

In magic. Magecraft magic, not the numinous energy work the elemental and sylvan elder races use, but actual spells.

For what? All those females are delusional if they think we have a chance against a millennia-old emperor. Still waiting for a better answer from that snide sphinx than, “You’ll understand soon enough.”

Fuck my life. Stuck here with the two women I least want to be around when I could be home.

Yes, home. Longing rippled through me, echoing along a long thread that connected me to them. My hippocamps, or rather one rather special hippocamp.

Yes, mine. But I was also his. I’d never left him before, hadn’t needed or wanted to.

He still lived. The bond was tenuous. Still there, but I couldn’t tell anything else. We'd been apart too long.

I took a deep inhale, filling my lungs with the clean scent of morning. Here, outside the keep, it was fresh and scented with the meadows that rolled out to the tip of Hastrior’s peninsula. That would change as I walked through town. This was my last untainted breath for a bit.

I wanted to leave. The need to know that everything was okay, that they were safe at home consumed me.

I just couldn’t, and those reasons ate at me like crabs on a carcass, tearing away at my resolve, pushing me closer and closer to doing things I’d regret. Again.

Even if I wasn’t bound here by the sphinx’s threats, Mayhem wouldn’t make it. The Western elves had been brutal, their ballistas and mages wickedly accurate.

I’d held her together with some binding and shielding spells that kept her intact and afloat until she could get back to the harbor, but now she was going nowhere. It had taken me a week just to find craftsfolk with the skills to repair her.

To the east, the hilltops glowed like a forge, the sun a white-hot circle climbing into a golden sky that faded to palest blue. Not a single cloud crossed the vast bowl above. I could tell already it was going to be hot. The morning air was velvety soft against my arms and face, without a hint of chill as I strolled through the streets to the harbor.

It was too early for the shipwrights I’d hired to be on the job, but that was just fine with me. I liked to get there before them, the quiet and emptiness suited me. I’d have preferred to stay aboard Mayhem, but Cassyrra and Cleobah insisted I remain up at the keep with Taenya and Ozora.

Yes, we all lived because of Cassyrra and Taenya. I just hated having my nose rubbed in it every day.

My days were now filled with schooling from the dragon on spellcraft and arguments with Taenya and Ozora about almost everything to do with the current state of squalor in Hastrior. Then when those finished, we argued about the Emperor’s invasion plans and how the three of us—okay, five counting the dragon and sphinx.

How the fuck are five of us going to stop the Ancient Elvish Empire of the West?

Even with a dragon on our side? No matter how I gamed it out in my head, with every sort of strategy, I’d yet to devise a winning one.

They’ll probably figure out it’s impossible around the time Mayhem’s seaworthy. Till then, I can play along. Once they do this fanciful idea to create a new kind of mage school will die, and we’ll all go our separate ways.

And I can banish Ozora once more to the past.

Hastrior’s harbor was on the south side of the peninsula, and this early it sat in shadow as the sun’s first rays crested the hills beyond the city. Soon, washes of light painted the buildings and streets in gleaming rose-gold tints. Out toward the horizon, fast fading dusky purples and dim blues still coated the sky but vanished as I walked. Night chased away by the day’s brilliance.

The light did not improve Hastrior’s streets. Bulky shadows became trash piled in the gutters and corners of the buildings while rats darted among the refuse.

A couple of gulls wheeled overhead, crying piteously to each other. Their sorrowful screeches bounced off the warehouses lining the boulevard. Few stirred this early, passed out from too much drink or other drug of choice.

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After two weeks, I’d stopped counting how many likely dead bodies I passed walking from the keep down to the harbor. The broken, the addled. They clumped together in Hastrior’s once beautiful streets. Collections of people passed out, huddled in the doorways of the shuttered and abandoned buildings.

I wasn’t prepared for the ruin that was Hastrior now. Hardly any businesses survived in what had once been the biggest port on the coast. All that remained were those sad folks who’d lost their souls to pain and despair.

I hadn’t cared at all when I left what happened to this place. In my rage I wanted to see it all erased, a need that threatened to consume me. My only hope of survival lay in releasing all that fury on one who deserved it, burning him and all his foulness to the ground. I then made a paradise out of the ashes.

I was here because this was the only way to save that haven. My home.

Drawing in another deep, grateful breath, I dropped from street level to the quay. The salty tang of the harbor soothed me as I left behind the palpable odor of the city. I took as few breaths as possible while I had to walk through a collection of wastes from the city’s denizens fermenting in the streets and gutters.

I walked along the water’s edge, then turned to follow the long stone quay that jutted out into the harbor. Mayhem rested next to it, nestled close to the stone and shore. I ran my hand along her wooden flank as I passed before following my stone path further out into the bay. “We’ll get you fixed up soon, girl.” I whispered, her boards smooth under my palm. “Then we’ll go home.”

Once I reached the end of the quay, I let my gaze rest on the horizon, hopeful.

And waited, the sun heating my back and legs while my mind wandered.

Where was Gordon? Not the first time I wondered about that. It was my favorite problem to wrestle with as I stood here morning after morning. My crew hadn’t been able to find him. He’d vanished and even the rumor well had dried up.

Five years ago, it was Gordon who encouraged me to go after Ozora sank Skirmisher, providing an outlet for my destructive fury. Gordon, the man who knew me better than any other, told me to take Mayhem, the flagship of Hastrior’s navy. Take what I needed from the city and go. Put Ozora and this place at my stern and go save the hippocamps on Pastainell’s island. He would stay in Hastrior and Mayhem would always have a safe port here. He’d ideas to keep the city alive and thriving and wished to stay.

I hated to lose him. We’d grown from boys to men together on Skirmisher. He was my first, my oldest friend since I came back to the lands above the waves.

Gordon was the one who told me Ozora believed I cheated, and it was Gordon who suggested I try to romance her out of her doubts. He’d suggested taking her to Skirmisher for a night alone. He would take the crew out for a much-needed night off before we set sail for Pastainell’s private island, where the hippocamps were being kept.

Then … well, we all know what happened then.

Then, I was done. With her and this city. Nothing else mattered but rescuing those mares. I had a purpose and if she was going to believe dock gossip and not even ask me my side of the story, then fuck her.

Once we had the mares and freed the island’s prisoners, I was too busy to think about her.

After things settled down, I didn’t care anymore about what happened on the mainland. In the beginning, Gordon sent back letters with Mayhem’s every trip for supplies. Each time he gave himself a glowing report and told of Hastrior’s prosperity. They stopped after about a year. I didn’t care. I dismissed my crew’s reports on the city when they made supply runs. Did everything I could to put her out of my mind and my heart.

The night we set sail for Hastrior ahead of the elvish ships, Ozora didn’t even cross my mind. Couldn’t remember the last time I thought about her.

All it took was two timeless moments.

Two breaths. Two heartbeats.

And it all came crashing down.

How much I needed her.

How I wanted her. Still. Even after all that had happened.

And I hated myself for the longing.

For letting a dream five years dead try to come back to haunt me.

All those old feelings and memories dredged up from the darker corners of my mind came creeping now into the light.

I didn’t want them. Didn’t want them distracting me with how she smelled like lilies, how soft her skin was. How she’d gasp when my hand ran down her thigh. I thought I’d let go all of it. I tried to shove those thoughts and memories back down into the pit where I’d stuffed them all these years.

But it’s kind of hard to ignore them when the source was always around. Coming down here to check on Mayhem was the excuse I gave, but I needed this break from her. To be somewhere her presence didn’t fill everything.

From out in the harbor, three small bubbles popped on the surface, breaking the silence.

Relief flooded through me, as if released by those little pops.

The water’s surface erupted. Boiling, then breaking as Bastion’s head crashed through the surface, followed by his long, arching neck and powerful shoulders.

Our bond flared into brilliant life as our eyes met, pulling me into the rush of connection, his heart and thoughts twining with mine as our numin wove together.

Bastion let loose a trumpeting neigh, shattering the quiet with echoes that bounced off the stone walls of the harbor.

“Quiet, idiot!” I whispered, sending the same command down the bond. He shot me a reproachful look, swiveling perked up ears back against his head, but he clamped his lips shut and stretched his neck, swimming for the end of the quay.

Stairs leading into the water were off to my left, and I ran down them until I was up to my thighs in the harbor. Bastion planted his forehooves on either side and braced his tail against the underwater steps, looming over me like a big dog giving its human friend in a too-enthusiastic greeting. His blue- and gold-streaked head rubbed against my torso as he uttered happy little whickers and grunts.

Nostrils flaring, he snuffled my loose shirt and shorts, then pulled me in with his head until he’d tucked me against his broad chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned, his glistening hide soaking through the last dry spot on my shirt.

“I missed you too, my friend.” The bond reverberated between us with warmth, trust. Love.

Right here, right now, everything was okay.

Soon I’d have to go check in with the shipwrights, see them to their tasks. Then later, I’d have to go meet with Cassyrra and Ozora to train in spellcraft.

But right now I don’t care. This was the moment I’d waited two weeks for, the moment I’d come down here every morning for. I pressed my face against his short, sleek coat, my tears lost in the salt water running from his dark blue dappled hide.

Bastion whuffled, his throat vibrating against my chest, so I felt as much as heard him. Through the bond he sent soothing calm, flowing outward from our connection in my heart to chase away my doubt, my hurt, and pain.

Right here, right now, Bastion and this moment were all that mattered. The water was so warm I barely felt it lapping against my thighs. I breathed in the scent of hippocamp, a sweet and tangy mix of saltwater and horse while my fingers combed through his long, curly mane.

++ Everything’s okay. They’re all safe. ++ Images and emotions flowed through the bond from Bastion saying that all was well back home.

I’d bonded with many hippocamps while living with my nereid family under the waves, but Bastion was unique. Far more intelligent and communicative, he understood complex, even abstract ideas and requests.

I’d asked him to do something I never could’ve asked of another hippocamp. When I left home, I told him to come find me here. I knew being so far apart would strain our bond to near breaking. I couldn’t hear or feel him, beyond knowing he lived.

No other hippocamp could’ve done it. Lots of them wouldn’t have, wouldn’ve instead chosen to return to the wild instead.

Only Bastion.

This.

This is why I stay.

I would do anything to keep Bastion and his pod safe.