“Now who’s here for their first ever IKC competition?” Clover asked, his voice booming through The Serving Bowl at an unnatural volume.

A roar went through the crowd. Archie was too in awe to whoop with the other spectators.

“Alright, well let me explain it to you! The Interkingdom Circuit—which is celebrating its thirtieth anniversary—happens like this. Chefs from all over United Ambrosia compete in the IKC, fighting their way through the ranks. Each match is a spectacle, but…well folks, you’re about to witness…the pinnacle of competition! A Division One match! That means you’re seeing a top twenty match-up!”

Another roar from the crowd. Clover took a swig from a vial and continued, even louder than before.

“Today, our Chefs will compete in a little something that we call…culinaryyyyyy combaaaaat!”

A deafening cheer.

“Theeeeese two fierce fighters, theeeeese two culinary champions, theeeeese two phenomenons of few equals shall put their skills to the test in a fight to the near-death! And today’s match is a special one, as we’ve been graced by the royal family!”

Clover gestured toward a raised platform on the edge of the arena floor. A man rose and waved to the crowd. Sharing his suite were a host of advisors and the largest man Archie had ever seen.

“And today’s matchup is crucial! We’re fully underway with the season, and our contestants find themselves on opposite ends of the table. Currently sitting in 19th place and facing the threat of relegation—she needs a win and she needs it bad—it’s the girl from The Platter who makes the boys chatter—Pepper Ivy!”

Thunderous applause echoed as a woman rose from a trapdoor in the center of the arena. From up high, Archie could only make out her vibrant orange hair.

“And her opponent, currently in 2nd and looking to move into 1st…hailing from the far islands of Uroko—feared by all from this kingdom to the next—the monster—the terror—the legend—Tataki!”

A tall, well-built Urokan man appeared next to Pepper Ivy. The crowd erupted into chants of “ta-ta-kee, ta-ta-kee.” He raised a fist into the air to an amplified cheer.

“Now, our contestants shall drink of Competitive Spirit,” Clover continued, “which will keep their magic confined to the fighting floor and prevent them from doing fatal damage to one another. But don’t be fooled! Their bodies are still on the line!”

Clover handed a vial to Pepper Ivy, who drank and passed it to Tataki.

“Scopes, getcha scopes!” a man cried out as he walked up the stands waving sticks of gum. “Don’t miss any of the action! Two silva!”

Without thinking, Archie hailed the vendor and exchanged some of his rapidly disappearing coin for the gum. He had heard of scopes, but never tried one. He thought he would be able to handle the sensation when he popped it in his mouth and started chewing.

He was wrong.

His vision magnified tenfold, focusing in on some blob of green. He turned his head, a sea of shapes and colors passing by in an instant, twisting his stomach into knots. Dizziness struck him like a club over the head, making him reach out to either side to grab people for support. He closed his eyes to keep himself from spewing up the Blue Orchards apple he had eaten earlier.

“You gotta zoom out,” the man next to him explained.

“Yeah, I’m trying.”

The man laughed and shook Archie’s hand off. Archie exhaled a minty breath and slowed his chewing. Unseen by Archie, Clover cleared away from the arena floor.

“Alright, now whooooooooo’s ready?! Count it down with me! 3…”

Archie opened his eyes.

“2…”

Chew. Slower.

“1…”

His vision zoomed out, allowing him to see both contestants.

“Fight!” the entire crowd chanted at once.

The combatants wasted no time. Archie’s eyes moved fast, but Tataki moved faster. The Urokan lunged forward, his arm transforming into a monstrous lobster claw that could fit three of Pepper Ivy in its grasp.

“Here he goes! It’s the claw!” Clover yelled in excitement.

“The claaaaaaaaaw!” the people sang in a deep chorus.

Pepper Ivy put her hands together and pushed forward, sending a wall of pepper spray at her assailant.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“A defensive spray!”

In a split second, the lobster claw transformed into a clam shell that served as a shield, allowing Tataki to charge through the pepper spray unphased.

In that same split second, Pepper Ivy lived up to the second part of her namesake. She slammed her palm into the ground, spawning a path of ivy twenty feet in front of her. The ivy lifted off the ground just enough to catch Tataki’s feet, sending him stumbling.

“He’s tangled!”

As he fell, he brought his shell-arm back into himself. A second shell manifested around him, creating a full clamshell that encased him and let him roll through the fall. After doing a full somersault, he came out of the clamshell, his second arm transforming into a twenty-foot long octopus tentacle that lashed out. Pepper Ivy tried to jump away. Too late. The suction cups latched onto her leg, pulling her in. The shell-arm warped back into a lobster claw, pincers coming down on the helpless Pepper Ivy.

Archie screamed in a mixture of delight and terror. For eighteen years, the best piece of magic he had seen outside of the kitchen was Frempe’s noodle drawings. In just a few seconds, he had already seen several things that he hadn’t known were even possible. These weren’t fighters. They were gods.

And Archie would soon join their ranks.

Will I learn to do that?

“Pep’s in trouble!”

She embraced the pull of the tentacle, using its momentum to flip upside down as she was drawn in. Her hands went forward again, this time producing thousands of tiny bubbles. The fizz grew, obscuring both of them as it formed a massive dome in the middle of the arena.

“Oh! A desperate move by Pep, but did it work? What’s going on in there! Is it over?”

Pepper Ivy crawled out from one side of the dome. She coughed as she dragged herself across the dirt, leaving behind a small trail of blood from where the suction cups had attached to her leg. A couple of seconds later, Tataki emerged on the opposite side, blindly swinging his animalistic appendages.

“They’re out!”

Tataki wasted no time, dashing along the outside of the dome in search of his prey. As he came into view of Pepper Ivy, she swung her arms from the ground, sending the dome of bubbles spilling over to envelop the half-man, half-crustacean monster. He emerged from the bubbles with a rageful shout, but Pepper Ivy had already rolled around to the other side of the dome of bubbles.

Tataki continued his pursuit, Pepper Ivy countering by moving the dome of bubbles again. But with each movement, the dome diminished, the bubbles popping. Her defense wouldn’t last.

“Pep is doing great to stay in it, but she won’t win like this!”

Tataki had enough. His arms transformed back to normal, but as he planted them onto the ground and swung his legs into the air, he performed an even greater piece of transformation. His legs fused together and grew into a whale’s tail, swinging through the dome of bubbles and sending them scattering into the air. With nothing left between him and Pepper Ivy, his legs transformed back and—

He fell.

“Oh!”

One hand hit the ground to catch himself. The other raised up to his forehead. He whipped his arm to the side, transforming it into an odd-looking lobster claw. Archie chewed faster to zoom in on the claw. The color was washed out and pincers were wrong, top switched with bottom. Tataki held the claw up, moving the pincers to observe his own error.

“What’s this! Tataki’s transformation messed up!”

He lurched forward but fell again.

“Is Tataki…drunk?!”

Pepper Ivy used the opportunity to get up and dust herself off. She took a deep breath, collecting herself before sending a steady stream of bubbles that sprayed into Tataki’s face. In a moment of shock, he took a deep breath in, inhaling the bubbles. His head wobbled around on his neck.

“Pep is doing it!”

In a last ditch effort, Tataki transformed his arms into tentacles, slamming them into the ground to propel himself at Pepper Ivy. She pointed her palms down at the ground, adjusting her bubble stream and intensifying it. Instead of using the stream as a weapon, she used it to propel herself, launching herself off the ground and sideways out of harm’s way.

Tataki’s tentacles missed and he slid face-first across the ground.

Pepper Ivy snapped her fingers, sprouting a single vine near Tataki that stretched across him to hold him down. With his limp tentacles scattered around his body, Tataki muttered something.

“And that’s it! Tataki concedes!”

Archie could only hear his own thumping heart as a stunned silence took hold of the crowd.

Then the chants started.

“Pep! Pep! Pep! Pep!”

Archie joined in, pumping his fists in the air as he cheered. A chill ran down his spine as he considered that one day he might be capable of something so extraordinary.

“Oh my, what a match! The heavy favorite, Tataki, taken down by Pepper Ivy! A massive upset! Well, in Tataki’s defense, she certainly is intoxicating.”

Archie felt the scope losing its magic and chewed in one last desperate zoom-in on Pepper Ivy. Now that she wasn’t jumping around, he managed to see her clearly—and understood why she was so popular amongst the men. Looking at her in that moment made him a fan for life.

“Alright! Well let us tend to our contestants and then we’ll resume with the amateur circuit! And don’t forget, folks! Pepper Ivy isn’t just a fighter! She’s a Purple Jacket Chef here in Ambrosia City! Be sure to visit her at Peppered Roux!”

Archie stopped chewing to allow his vision to return to normal, giving his eyes a rest. He looked around the arena. The match had been so engrossing that he had forgotten where he was. Ambrosia City. The place of dreams.

I’m watching the IKC live. I’m going to eat at an Ambrosia City restaurant. I’m going to WORK at an Ambrosia City restaurant. I’m going to live at the Academy! I’m going to be a Chef!

“Now a word from today’s sponsor: Thyme’s Bottles and Bites!”

Archie left the arena and collected his things as the sun set. He wandered around for a while, taking in the majesty of the city, until his stomach forced him into an inn. He showed the innkeeper his last two silvers, asking for food and a room.

“That won’t get you nothin’ here,” the innkeeper told him. But Archie’s downtrodden expression made the innkeeper sigh. “Eh, give me that. You do the dishes for me tonight and I’ll get you a room and a piece of bread. You can eat whatever scraps are left on the plates.”

After hours of scrubbing, Archie’s fingers were raw and his body ached for a bed—even the room’s hard straw mattress felt like a cloud that provided great relief. The hard work ended up being a blessing—it was only through his great fatigue that Archie could quiet his excitement and get to sleep. And as he drifted toward sleep, he reflected on the lesson of the day.

Ambrosia City was the place of dreams. But dreams were expensive.