Sofia’s thoughts were sluggish.
The person singing had to stop often, she sounded short of breath, always trying to catch more air whenever she could, yet she kept singing while rocking the crib for long minutes as the sun started to come down.
Someone opened a door, interrupting the lullaby. Her voice was kept low so as not to wake the child, but it was cold as an ice bucket, “Merise, leave the child be, we need you in the kitchen. Dessert isn’t going to bake itself.”
“I’ll be here in a minute,” the singing woman replied with no energy in her voice.
The door was closed back up without one more word, and the singing woman stood up, finally entering the baby’s field of view. She was a tall and weak-looking blonde woman with bright blue eyes. Her face was pale, with dark circles under eyes and emaciated cheeks, but her smile was bright nonetheless. Her dull servant clothes and stained apron did nothing to make her look better, the only touches of color left to her were her pale pink lips and the hairpin in the shape of a purple flower she used to hold her bangs away from her face. Even in her current condition, there was an ethereal beauty to her that made it hard to look away.
Supporting herself with a hand on the wall next to the crib, she bent over to kiss the child on the forehead, “Mom will be back as soon as she can. Sleep well, Sofia.”
After spending a few more seconds longingly staring at the child, the woman laboriously straightened up, quickly tidied up her hair then her apron, and left the room.
Sofia tried to move, she tried to speak, but she couldn’t do anything. It was impossible to change the course of history.
Time passed. The sun came down then up again. Someone else came to take care of the crying baby.
Slowly everything faded to obscurity once again, and Sofia’s thoughts started to become clearer.
To think I had even forgotten your face…
I wish you could see how far Saria and I have gotten…
But nothing can bring you back. Goodbye, mom…
Colors started appearing in the sea of darkness again. Swirling shades of white, yellow and blue.
Letting go of my regrets… I can already guess what this one is going to be…
Sofia was short, walking hand in hand with a tall, tanned man with thick arms covered in tattoos of anchors and ships. They were following a larger group of about forty people, only a few of which were children, walking along the cliff on the narrow sand shore separating it from the ocean. A few white clouds dotted the blue sky while the group walked in silence, the sound of their steps in the sand accompanied by the rumbling of the waves.
The tanned man looked down at Sofia, “Do you want me to carry you again, kid?” he asked in a worried voice.
I can still walk… Sofia thought before her mouth uncontrollably opened by itself.
“I can still walk…” Sofia assured him. She had known fully well that despite the appearances, the man was just as tired as she was. Every night he would stay away while the others slept on the sand, and there would miraculously be fish and crabs for the group to eat the next morning while the man slept like a log.
They were approaching the northern reach, finally they would be able to step away from this god-awful sand and walk on solid ground. There were murmurs in the group about how the jungle of the north was dangerous, but considering what the other options were, there was little choice other than going there or dying on this never-ending shoreline.
Suddenly, someone shouted from the front of the group. They were too far, so it was hard to understand what they were saying.
The person who had shouted fell on his back, holding his throat that was stained in red.
“Bandits!” Someone at the front shouted.
The few armed people in the group charged forward, but what awaited the remainder of the group was a dense volley of arrows coming from above.
The illusion quickly became blurry and incoherent, just like Sofia’s thoughts had been back then. She had received an arrow in the leg, yet the dull pain was lesser compared to what she felt as she watched the man throw himself down before her, protecting her with his body as his back was riddled with a flurry of deadly projectiles.
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The warriors of the group eventually came back victorious, with brand new bows and plenty of supplies. More than half the group had perished that day.
I didn’t even know your name… Sofia lamented in her head as the illusion faded to black once again.
Had to watch as they redistributed his things while his still-hot and bleeding corpse was left to rot on the wet sand, without a family or name to be remembered by…
It’s not much, but I think I should make a statue in his honor in Zangdar.
Make a place to remember the good people. So… A graveyard of the righteous.
Isn’t that a fitting thing for a necromancer.
Come on now. There’s more, I know there is… There won’t be anything with Saria, I’m sure, now that I know she’s alive. But there should be plenty more…
Colors appeared one by one and a new scene started to form.
What’s this? Sofia wondered as she could start to see bright red flames burning vividly. The explosion of Zarrow’s boat?
Ah, no… Of course…
It was an illusion, but Sofia still felt the heat of the fire attacking her face, just like it did that day.
The orphanage burned down, plumes of dark smoke rising in the sky. An arson of her own doing.
Truth was, there was no need for an illusion. It was all still as vivid as real life in Sofia’s memories. A dark mark that would never go away.
I wish I would have distanced myself from the orphanage before starting to mess with necromancy.
Maybe if I’d just shown less affection toward them, none of this would have happened… Scripture would still want me dead but at least, they would have been safe…
And I couldn’t even give you all a proper burial…
I didn’t have the strength.
Sorry.
The orphanage burned to the ground, and its dark ashes covered the horizon as the illusory world returned to its original darkness once more.
Next. I’m ready. Go on. Start.
A new scene encroached on the boundaries of the illusory world, a clear sky.
Sofia was flying over a green sea of tall trees. A volcanic jungle.
In her hands, unstable electricity started to gather.
Blinded by rage and sorrow…
That was such a stupid decision…
It accomplished nothing.
Sofia had to watch herself blow up the secret jungle Temple of the Church.
‘You have murdered [Kayan Fell - Templar lv. 32]’
‘You have murdered [Emma - Cook lv. 8]’
‘You have murdered [Irvin - Handyman lv. 1]’
‘You have murdered [Samantha - Handyman lv. 2]’
‘You have murdered [Julius - Priest lv. 23]’
‘You have murdered [Aaron Redsand - Templar lv. 179]’
‘You have murdered [Christelle - Paladin lv. 98]’
‘You have murdered [Amanda Everbright - Priest lv. 99]’
‘You have murdered [Cristobal - Confessor lv. 112]’
‘You have murdered [Mint - Paladin lv. 133]’
‘You have murdered [Albert Miller - Templar lv. 199]’
‘You gained a level!’
‘You have murdered [Friederich - Priest lv. 99]’
‘You have murdered [Xu Li - Priest lv. 2]’
‘You have murdered [Vernon Black - Priest lv. 42]’
The wall of murder notifications was as sickening as she remembered it to be.
Even the slaughter of the templars, which had felt justified at the time, now felt like a laughable struggle of past Sofia against an enemy she didn’t understand. What had they done to deserve that brutal end? How many of them were really aware of Scripture’s true nature?
Now she knew a bit more about Scripture, the unknown figure behind him, and the origin of the soul parasites. And even still, there was nothing she could do about it.
Maybe not the paladins and templars, but the others at least deserve some kind of a memorial… It’s not much but… It’s the best I can offer.
Sofia calmed her feelings and the illusion changed again, it stayed quite dark this time as she was forced to revive her skeleton dog’s last moments before one of Ormoncleth’s parasites got to it.
Dumb fucking mistakes…
I must protect Crowie at all costs.
But this barely gets to me now after the previous four scenes…
What do I make of this experience?
After a few seconds of silence, Sofia came to a simple conclusion.
Letting go of regret is accepting to live with the lingering sorrow.
Well. Is there more? Sofia asked herself as the illusion of the Sun temple faded to black.
She was answered by the sound of the next door of Sorrow’s palace opening before the illusion was even broken.
Hopefully I don’t need to let go of anything else.
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