On the morning of the disciple selection ceremony, I left my abode and went to the Budding Heavenly Lotus plaza where the students would arrive after their first trial. As I arrived at the spectator area for elders of the sect, a sort of large ornately covered balcony constructed on the cliffs near the plaza, I could not help but feel nostalgic and a bit nervous. Many decades ago I participated in these very same trials myself, and seeing it again, though now from a new perspective, brought forth a profound feeling in my soul. At the same time, I was simmering with anticipation for what young aspiring cultivators I would see today, and whether I would be successful in my own endeavor.
Standing on the observation platform, I let my mind wander to imagine what hopeful souls might be climbing the steps of Will Over Fate. A fitting name for the first trial, in which mortals seeking to take control of their destiny must demonstrate and exert their will against adversity in order to have that chance.
Back when I made the climb myself, I will admit I arrived with a half-assed conviction. I struggled greatly and very nearly gave up several times, having decided to attempt to become a cultivator mostly out of a combination of boredom as well as an artistic and academic curiosity. But while climbing the stairs and struggling to find the will to push on, I observed those around me, and it was there that I found the strength of will to overcome the first trial. I saw the proud and determined youths who never faltered in their ascent and they practically radiated heat from their burning souls. Some of them so bright it was hard to look upon them for fear of crumbling in shameful inferiority.
I also saw those who struggled more or less like me as they faltered in their steps, but then after meditating, stretching, hyping themselves up, or sometimes even screaming at nothing and everything, they would take that next step and continue their climb.
But those who had the most powerful effect on me were those who failed. Those who came with weak convictions and doubt in their hearts. They climbed the stairs meekly and hopefully, often looking like they were hoping for a savior rather than saving themselves.
When the difficulty of taking the next step became insurmountable to them, they would stop, perhaps look wistfully up the mountain, and then sit down on the steps waiting for the trial to end so that they could descend.
In that moment when they breathed out their sigh of defeat and sat on the steps, it was as if I could see their spirit die. Like their very soul left their body through that final breath. I saw myself in that. I had grown disillusioned with the mortal world and sought a higher purpose in art and power, and I realized that if I breathed out that sigh of defeat myself, my fate would be sealed. I would never overcome my despondency and find true satisfaction in this life. So I stood and looked back down the mountain, and I searched my heart for any true desire for what I would leave behind. And when I found none, I crystallized my will to aim for that peak far above and took the next step. After that, I did not falter again.
Today, new aspirants with burning souls are striding up the steps without fear, and I will doubtlessly see which new stars my future disciple will have to compete with and measure themselves against. But more personally interesting to me are the many more strugglers. Those who on those very steps either find the conviction to seek the highest aspiration or falter and never reach the plaza below.
The trial of Will Over Fate consists of ascending up an extraordinarily long series of steps while enduring slowly increasing pressure, both physical and spiritual. Every step becomes harder and harder to take, thus taxing your physical abilities to the limit, though never above it. It is personally adjusted so that no matter your strength and endurance it is always possible to make it to the top. But in addition to the physical challenge, the steps exert a spiritual pressure on the climber which pushes down on their motivation and willpower. The effect takes stabs at your conviction, forcing you to question yourself and your decisions. If your conviction is not strong enough and aimed properly at becoming a cultivator, it will poke holes in it and rip it apart until you lose the will to continue. The path that we walk is not an easy one, and it does not abide the insecure and half-hearted.
Around noon, the first aspirant finally reached the Blooming Heavenly Lotus plaza. Until now, the attending elders had been either meditating or making conversation, but now they turned their attention to the plaza below and the flow of Aspirants that was about to begin.
“I don’t recognize that kid. Is he from an obscure family? Or a complete unknown?” Asked an elder in a small group of elders that sat together and had been having a casual conversation before the first aspirant arrived.
The elder next to him scrutinized the boy while stroking his beard before he replied. “That hair and face, does he not seem familiar? I feel like I’ve seen a few people like him, likely some uncles or fathers of his, not that they stood out. I think he’s from a small family somewhere.”
“Ah yes, I think you’re right. Now that you mention it he does resemble that Song fellow from a few decades back. He left the sect some years back when he failed to become an elder.”
I tuned out their conversation and turned my attention to the plaza below to study the kid. He certainly did not look like the sort to quit halfway. His posture was straight and defiant, he seemed to radiate a barely constrained hostility. Perhaps a kid to watch out for, if he did not learn to control his rage he might self destruct and take others down with him.
Soon other aspirants began to arrive at the plaza. Most of the frontrunners were clearly sons and daughters of noble and martial descent. Martial arts and cultivation basically ran in their blood, instilled into them from a young age by their parents and tutors. Some of them already had predetermined masters as long as they made it through the selection ceremony. Ancestors of their family dedicating their lives to cultivation and staying in the sect instead of returning to the mortal world, fulfilling their familial obligations by taking their descendants under their wing within the sect. A safe and reasonable practice, though not one likely to produce great geniuses since there is no guarantee that the masters or disciples would be competent.
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Among these young masters, there was an obvious standout. The imperial scion, the First Prince of Peng, the future Emperor of the Peng Empire. Though not the first to arrive, he was certainly among the front of the pack. He had a proud demeanor and his gaze was full of authority and determination. A good combination for a prince.
His master would inevitably be the venerable grand elder Peng. An old monster who had been the brother of the First Emperor of Peng. Now he tied the Ordered Lotus Sect and the Peng Empire together with his skill and political scheming, while also teaching all future emperors in both cultivation and rule before they returned to take up their positions when they were ready. The imperial scions were always quite successful cultivators. I assume some of it flows in the family, but most of it is likely also because grand elder Peng is a skilled teacher.
Once the standouts had reached the top, the rest began to arrive in a more steady stream. Some of them looked promising as future disciples, though it was too early to judge based on the first test alone. There were some scholarly looking youths that I decided to keep an eye on in case they proved to have potential, considering that I might have the best affinity with a student who resembled me. But beyond those, I was honestly at a loss as to which of them might make for good disciples, or more importantly who I would make a good master for. For now, I just tried to look impressive in order to increase my chances if I had to fight over a disciple with any of the other elders. Good thing I did too.
Meanwhile on the steps of the trial of Will Over Fate.
On the 6,054th step of the stairs, Wu Yong faltered for the first time. Not that he was counting. There was still no end of the stairs in sight, and he began to doubt whether or not he could make it to the top before he was overwhelmed by the building pressure or ran out of time. He had been slightly surprised at first when he took the first step and felt a light pressure settle on him, but had quickly realized it was part of the test. Becoming an immortal wasn’t supposed to be easy after all. But by now the pressure had increased to an intense burden that made his every step a small struggle, which quickly added up to exhaust him. He feared that if the pressure continued to increase for however long the staircase might be, he would not be able to make it. Not that he’d give up now. No, this was merely the fear taking root.
But during the next thousand steps, the pressure kept increasing, and his fear began to grow. Who was he anyway to believe he could do this? He had long since lost sight of the wealthy young masters that took the lead. How could he compare to these kids that had clearly been training for this all their life? Was he not like an insect trying to stand alongside dragons? He felt pathetic and embarrassed, struggling with every step when the strong ran up the steps without breaking a sweat.
He tried to push it down and continue regardless, but it was only getting worse. On the 7,689th step, he had to stop to catch his breath, and his mind was a mess of self-doubt and shame. When he stopped and tried to get his breath under control his eyes blurred from tears, causing him to lose his balance and land on all fours on the steps.
He couldn’t push himself up with his shaky arms and exhausted legs so he slowly turned over and sat down on the steps. Taking deep breaths he managed to regain control of his body and wipe the tears from his eyes. But his mind was still in turmoil. He missed his father like nothing else, and he couldn’t help but feel a gaping hole of grief in his chest. Whenever he had felt sad or overwhelmed before, his father had been there to help him.
He felt desperately alone and lost. What had he been thinking? Deciding to just become a cultivator as if that was a simple thing to do. He had been crushed by the grief of his father’s death and latched onto the idea like a drowning man. This quest had been all that was keeping him together for the last half-year. Sitting on those steps he realized he had been running from his father’s death until now. His quest to become a cultivator had just been to distract himself from his grief.
He sat on the steps and felt lost, looking down the mountain. Not far below him, other youths were climbing the stairs. Further below, looking above the treetops that surround the path, lay the great valley at the foot of the mountain. From where he sat he could not see the plaza where they had begun, but now that the morning mist had lifted he could see the entire lush valley below. Most of it was wild forestation and plains, but a long and wide road also snaked through the valley, leading from the sect to the mountain pass that divided this place from the rest of the empire. He could make out the distants shapes of flocks of beasts roaming the plains and forests, as well as the dots of birds flying above the treetops. Some of the plains had also been made into rice fields, providing food to the sect. Though not enough to feed the entire sect, so there must have been other food sources around.
Wu Yong was starting to get hungry. He had eaten his last food early in the morning before the trials started. If he gave up now he would likely have to steal to survive, if he couldn’t find any work fast. He could probably apply as a servant somewhere. Beyond his skills as a hunter, he at least knew how to do most household tasks, having had no mother to take care of it when he grew up.
But thinking of giving up and walking down the mountain filled him with both shame and rage. Was he that weak? Could he just give up his dignity to live as a servant? No! He was not inferior to those who were born into power! He had been forged by hardship from the day he was born! There was nothing for him to return to if he gave up, and it was not merely a desperate whim that made him decide to become a cultivator. When he saw cultivators he could not help but be filled with awe and longing. The path of an immortal radiated hope to his eyes. It was a way to become strong enough to stand alone, to protect others and be a spear against the darkness.
And he could not stop his hunter’s soul from being excited at the idea. Imagine! Shooting great arrows of thunder while hunting dragons. Wrestling giant demonic beasts with your bare hands. He had loved hunting with his father, and now it was all he had left of his family. He felt compelled to pursue hunting as far as he could. To carry on his legacy and make his father’s spirit proud.
Filling up with hope and determination, he finally managed to push himself up and start climbing again. So what if he was like an insect compared to others? He would not accept the fate of an insect. This time he managed to push the fear and doubt away. He quenched it with his desire to take his fate into his own hands, and make his father proud by becoming a great immortal hunter, slaying the great demons of the world.
Wu Yong didn’t stop again, but the rest of the climb was still a grueling march up the last few thousand steps. On the last thousand steps, he had to dedicate all of his being to keep climbing, losing awareness of time and distance. His whole world became just a long series of steps one after another. It was a desperate focus to keep going. All of his mind was focused on just taking the next step again and again, with his previously realized motivation like a beacon drawing him forward.
Eventually, when he attempted to take the next step, his foot failed to find anything to stand on. He almost fell over before he came out of his focus and noticed the world around him. When he looked up and took in his surroundings, he realized he had reached the Budding Heavenly Lotus plaza. He had almost fallen because he had attempted to climb stairs that didn’t exist. Breathing in, he felt the pressure on his mind and body lift. Suddenly clear-headed, he couldn’t help but break into a massive grin. He’d completed the first trial!