Thankfully, school would be over in two weeks; graduation for the seniors was shortly before that. Classes dragged on so slowly, a snail could travel around the world before her classes finished. By far, Gym was the best part of the day; if she could take gym all day every day, she wouldn’t complain. Classes were even more boring because the teachers ran out of things to do. To think that next year she would be a senior, then off to college she went. Dear god!! It was such a scary thought, college. Leaving everything you’ve known behind, classes got harder than they already were, and you were completely surrounded by people you didn’t know; never quite sure what was going to happen. But then again, maybe a new start wouldn’t be a bad thing.
Feeling somewhat stressed about the thought of college, she ran her hands through her hair. She’d always kept her hair at an even length around her upper or middle back; but for some reason it seemed longer than it had been a few days ago.
With no homework to worry about, she headed to her locker, deposited all of her stuff inside and made her way to the front of the school for the start of a three day weekend.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When Monday came around, it felt like she was living the same day over and over. Each day, Jaison made various attempts to talk to her and every time she tried to avoid him. She figured that if she avoided him enough, maybe he would get the idea and leave her alone. She couldn’t think straight around him, and lately she’d been so confused with everything that was happening. She didn’t know how to handle it and it was so overwhelming that she felt like she might go crazy; that is if she hadn’t already.
She didn’t know why Jaison was so intent on befriending her anyway, he didn’t even know her. Maybe he thought she was easy and he wanted to continue her mistake. And for some reason she just felt so restless around him, he made her body all twitchy and nervous. She didn’t know if she was scared, anxious, if she just didn’t like him, or… something else. Whatever it was, being around him just plain out confused her. She didn’t know if she could handle that at the moment. It was times like this she wished she could talk to her mom and dad, or someone who knew and loved her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The last week of school passed by quickly, they got the junior class rings, the seniors graduated and with the final few days of school, they became the new “head honchos.” Some people showed off their new sashes that the previous seniors gave them, while others admired their class rings every second they could.
Everyone was really anxious to get out and start off the summer, though she didn’t blame them. Finally getting the chance to have free time, little to no homework, and do whatever you wanted to until school started again in September.
Her favorite part was going out into the woods, hiking, swimming in the lakes and rivers, and camping out underneath the stars. She’d been doing it for years, to the point where it had become tradition. She liked exploring all the different areas of the mountains surrounding her little city of Monter, California. Sometimes she’d leave for a few hours and other times for a few days, it fully depended on how long she felt like staying away from her aunt.
She had a map in her room that was an outlay of the mountains; it consisted of all the basic terrains of the area. As she visited new places, she marked where they were and how long it took to get there. As a reward for moving on to another year, she rewarded herself by taking a trip into the woods. She started preparing the last day of school and left the next day. It was usually during this time that she found many new places to mark on her map.
Walking out of Home Economics, she headed to her locker to finish cleaning it out for the year. Today, they were allowed to get the books out of their lockers to give back to the teachers. Now she was just getting the last of her stuff, like her gym clothes, notebooks and various other things she’d left in her locker all year. Packing her stuff into her backpack, she attempted to zip it up.
“Need some help?”
Startled, she accidentally ripped the zipper off. Damn. Looking up, she saw Jaison looking down at her. “I’m okay, thank you though.” She looked back down at her ripped zipper and jiggled with it for a moment; wondering if she’d be able to fix it later.
He reached his hand over toward her backpack. Caught off guard she jerked back in response. “Why are you avoiding me?” he asked slowly.
“What do you mean?” she asked nonchalantly.
Pain shot across his face at her response, “You’ve been avoiding me for the past few weeks. Don’t pretend like you haven’t been doing it on purpose.”
For a few seconds he just sat there, like he was expecting her to respond; when he finally realized that she wasn’t he continued, “Why won’t you talk to me? ”
Getting agitated that her backpack wouldn’t zip up, she just picked it up and made her way toward the stairs. Jaison right on her tail. “Ayalet, just answer me please!” Dropping her backpack at the very top of the stairs she contemplated the easiest way to get down them. She was about to start her descent sideways when Jaison jumped in front of her, “Ayalet!”
“What?!” she yelled as she stumbled backwards.
Grabbing her arm an electric shock zapped up her arm starting at his fingers. Without meaning to, a soft groan escaped her as the shock ran to her heart, setting off fireworks in her brain, down into her womb, and stopping at her toes before it sizzled out.
They stood there dumbfounded but unable to separate. He then asked, “Okay, let’s discuss the real issue. What did the kiss mean?”
Jerking her arm back, she grumbled, “Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter to me. Why are you acting like this? What did I do to make you avoid me?”
Walking around him she continued on down the stairs. At this point, everyone was staring at them; although Jaison didn’t seem to care. After they got outside and she saw that he wasn’t going to leave this alone, she blew up, “I don’t know! Maybe because you pulled away from me when I went in to kiss you, I mean... I didn’t even know what I was thinking, or doing. But You wouldn’t even make eye contact with me, or try to talk about it. I get it, you don't want to, that’s fine, but you just shut off and made me feel awful and awkward. So if you don’t mind I’d like to forget about the whole thing, just leave me alone!” Emotions overwhelmed her as she turned around and headed home. Thankfully it seemed like Jaison was leaving the subject alone, for the moment. When everything around her quieted down she dropped her stuff, let herself fall to the ground and sat there crying. What was wrong with her?
After the tears stopped running down her cheeks, she got up and walked back home. It took much longer than the usual 25 minute jog to get back home. But the second that her parents’ house came into view, she felt somewhat better. It was so reassuring, the vines climbing up the house, the grey roof and chimney, the windows, everything; it made her feel like someone was actually there, waiting for her to come inside to give her love and comfort.
Pulling her necklace out, she stared at the one link to her biggest treasure as she slipped it into the keyhole to unlock the door. The smell of a pine forest washed over her as she opened the door and took her shoes off. Even though all the lights were off, the room seemed bright as she navigated her way into the living room to sit by the fireplace. She was so happy that mum and dad left her the house in their will. She was about to sit down when a chill washed over her and instead she decided to turn on her gas fireplace. After squatting in front of the fire long enough to warm up a little, she headed toward the back into her room to get a blanket.
Wrapping it around herself, she walked around her house. Right across from her room was her mom’s studio where she used to work on her paintings. The only one she was unable to finish was of a beautiful lake located in the middle of the mountains. She’d never been there and she couldn’t tell where it was, she was hoping that one day she could find it. She didn’t even remember when her mother started it. All she could recall was walking into the room one day after they disappeared and there it was, just sitting under a white sheet half finished. The acrylic paints at the time were still wet despite the fact that the pallet had been uncovered for days, maybe even weeks.
As she walked around the house, she used her left hand to keep the blanket secure around her shoulders. Her right hand was free to drag across the walls as she passed by. On the complete opposite side of the house was the staircase, which led up to her parents’ bedroom. Practically all of their stuff was gone or covered up like things were when people abandoned a house. It just felt wrong to uncover it, almost like the job belonged to them. Gathering the blanket from around her feet, she headed back down the stairs then down another set of stairs into the basement.
At the bottom of the staircase was a closet door that led along the inside walls of the basement. It’s where they used to store a lot of stuff that they didn’t need out at a certain time. They couldn’t keep the stuff out in the open in the basement because dad used to bring the abandoned or hurt animals down there.
Feeling the warmth slowly creep out through her feet, she made her way back up the stairs and into the living room to sit by the fireplace. Looking out the window, the sun steadily laid its head upon the horizon as the day neared its end. Staring at the fireplace for a moment she took a couple of deep breaths; letting the comfort of warmth and relaxation wash over her. Thoughts of how much she wished the house didn’t seem so empty crossed her mind. Shaking the thoughts from her head she stood up, let the blanket fall to the ground, turned off the fireplace and closed the fireplace doors. Walking to the front door, she pulled on her shoes and headed outside.
Instantly, she was welcomed by a warm breeze ruffling her hair. All around the sky was steadily getting darker, making it harder to see as she lightly jogged to the mailbox at the end of the driveway. Reaching in she found nothing; not wanting to head back in yet, she stared up at the sky and breathed in the night air. She couldn’t tell if there was no moon tonight or if the clouds were just blocking it from her line of sight, either way she was finding it hard to see. Owls were hooting, coyotes howling in the distance, leaves were rustling in the bushes, and the wind was whistling through the sky. If she paid close enough attention, she thought she could even see some bats flying around. In the distance, lightning bugs were visible against the vast darkness of the night. It was such a beautiful night, she wished she could have a bonfire.
Toward town she could see lights where the graduation party was, the music playing, people conversing and singing along with the music, it seemed rather fun. Didn’t she tell Crystal she would go? Just as the thought began to cross her mind to go and check it out, she heard footsteps not far in front of her. She just stood there. Should she head back inside? She didn’t know who it was and it would certainly be safer. A soft smell of cedar and honey came trickling by her. Somehow she wasn’t worried. Why was that? First she saw a dark broad outline of a man, then features started to lighten up as he took one step after another. Instantly it hit her who it was and annoyance as well as happiness washed over her. “Jaison!!! What in the world are you doing here?”
Lifting his hand to cover his face, he asked, “Ayalet? What do you mean what am I doing here? I was taking a walk.”
“Oh.” A slight pain of realization that he wasn’t here for her made her feel ridiculous. Frustration at herself for getting mad at him for no reason loomed in her mind.
Jaison took a step forward, “Hey, um. Do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Maybe, I guess it depends on the question.” Ayalet crossed her arms over her chest, trying to build more room between them.
“Well, you know that time I brought you to my house? You mentioned dreams, no wait..., more like images in your head.” He looked at her with this look, she couldn’t figure out. Maybe caution?
“Yeah, what about it?” She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head.
“Actually, nevermind. I just had a strange dream the other night.” He played off his own question by running his hands through his hair as he chuckled. Wonder why he was asking about her visions?
Scratching her head, she tilted it at a downward angle and asked, “Okay. . . What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it was just a weird dream I had while napping earlier. I just wanted to get out and enjoy the night air. Well, um, do you want to go check out the graduation party?”
She did want to check it out anyway, and what harm could there be in walking together. They weren’t going together as a couple. She felt bad with how she’d been treating him, she was so rude. The night air felt so good on her back, cooling whatever frustration lingered. It had been so easy with Raina earlier… Maybe she should just take a chance.
Before her mind could give her any reasons to talk herself out of it, she responded, “Sure, Why not.”
Ayalet went inside, changed into proper shoes and met Jaison back outside. They didn’t walk even five steps before Jaison said, “The reason I pulled away from you when you went to kiss me was because I was . . . confused. Caught off guard. You were JUST in like a mini coma and you seemed so out of it when you woke up. I didn’t want you to think I was someone who would take advantage of you... I didn’t dislike the idea but I didn’t realize that until after you stormed out. I didn’t realize that you actually maybe wanted to kiss me.”
Ayalet felt herself blush, “I see.” She kept her response short because realistically, how was she supposed to respond to that? Wanna try again? Did she even want to try it again? She decided to leave the discussion alone and contemplate her reaction to all this at a later date.
After walking past the tree where her parents were buried a thought crossed her mind and she asked, “So why did you move here?”
“My grandparents live here. My mom died a few years ago and my dad got a temporary job overseas. So I’m living with my grandparents.”
“Oh.” Ayalet stuttered, not sure what to say. No one opened up to her, how do you console someone? She could say sorry for his loss but he’d probably heard it countless times just like she had. It didn’t help, it only made you feel worse. “How did she die, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind at all. She was really sick. We found out a little too late that she had cancer. It’s not so hard to talk about now because she was in a lot of pain. It’s nice knowing she’s not in that pain anymore. I miss her everyday, but it would be selfish of me to want her to stay if it meant she’d still be hurting.”
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“That’s a nice way to think about it.” She’d never really thought about death in that way.
“Yeah, In a way I’m glad. Because she got sick, it made me realize I want to be a doctor. I want to help people the way the doctors helped my mom.”
His views on life were so positive; despite what he’d lost, he still looked on the bright side of life. He’s open to love and possibility. Yet with her, she acted like the world was over. She lost her fight for life, she lost who she wanted to be. All she ever did was linger in the past instead of letting herself look towards tomorrow. Maybe she should start thinking more positively.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
By the time they got to the party, the awkward silence between them had dragged on for an uncomfortably long time. Suddenly her throat became really dry. Looking around she noticed what looked to be a snack table in the next room. She started to head in the direction of the punch when Jaison called after her.
“Ayalet, where are you going?”
Looking up at him she retorted, “To get some punch, I’m thirsty. ”
“Punch? Ayalet, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He said as his forehead crinkled with concern as he looked around the party.
Jaison reached his hand out and lightly gripped her hand, his eyes begging her to wait, “Jaison let go of my hand.”
His intense gaze dropped from the group of people in front of them and traveled to her face, “Ayalet, maybe we shouldn’t have come.”
“Why? It’s just a party.”
He turned his head a bit, avoiding her eyes before saying, “I’m just getting a bad feeling.”
Jaison turned, his grip on her hand hardened as he walked out of the building, “Jaison, stop it!”
His eyes sparked with fire, “No! You can push me away all you want but I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why? What reason do you have to stay?” Her heart begged him to say ‘because he cares for her’ but her head rejected the yearning.
“I. . I don’t know, there’s something pulling me to you. A want or an instinct to protect you.”
He suddenly dropped her hand, and was about to say something but closed his mouth. Before he could say anything else, she said, “I’m going to go get a drink. Think about what you were going to say.”
She walked back into the building, headed over to the punch bowl and guzzled down a couple cups of punch. Her heart was beating like crazy, why did he do things like this; he barely knew her. Is this how most people get into relationships? He acted like he cared and it was just so confusing. The look he gave her when he said he wanted to protect her made her want to run into the hole she’d been digging for years and never come out or let anyone in. His feelings scared her. And what scared her more was somewhere inside she knew she felt the same. The uncontrollable draw toward him.
From out of nowhere Ayalet was tackled on her right, a piercing squeal rang in her ear. A flash of blonde shone in the party light and Crystal’s face came into full view inches from Ayalets face. “Ayalet, I’m so glad you could make it!” Crystal said as her hug intensified around Ayalet, squeezing the life from her lungs.
The smell of alcohol crashed into her, “Yeah, I made it. Umm, Crystal, are you drunk?”
Crystal scrunched her face and pouted her mouth as she raised her hand. She went to pinch her index finger and thumb together as she said, “Just a wittle bit.”
“Crystal, just be careful.”
“Ahhh, Ayalet, you are soooo nice. You care about me.” Crystal went in for another hug. Ayalet tried to pull away but she failed. She sighed as she gave up fighting. Standing right behind Crystal, Ayalet noticed Cody lingering; glaring down at her.
“Okay Crystal, I think your boyfriend would like you back now.” She said as she tried to pry herself from Crystal.
Crystal immediately released Ayalet and sprang up, jumping into Cody’s arms. “Babbby! I love you sooo much.” She slurred out as she pecked a kiss on his lips.
Ayalet then turned and walked in the other direction before Crystal had the chance to refocus her attention. Looking around the room, Ayalet noticed a few of the people from the track team and wondered if Raina was here as well.
Grabbing another cup of punch she started to walk around. Through the corner of her eye, she could tell that Jaison was standing just outside the door. Quite a few girls from the senior class as well as some others were chatting him up. He was smiling at them. Ayalet leaned against the wall and snuck quick glances in their direction as she sipped her drink, wondering what they were talking about.
Getting frustrated and maybe a tiny bit jealous, she turned away. What reason did she have to be jealous? Sure, maybe he was interested in her, but that didn’t mean she had a claim over him. She went to take another sip of her drink but realized it was empty. She looked over at the punch bowl to find a large crowd around it.
Suddenly Tyanne walked up to her with two cups in her hand. “Hey Ayalet, I noticed you ran out of juice. So I grabbed another while I was getting my own. Here.”
Ayalet looked down at the cups, one was a different color. “Why is the punch blue now instead of red?”
“Oh, they ran out so I got you the new stuff.” Tyanne said, smiling at her.
“Oh, that’s so nice of you Tyanne. To be honest, I always thought you didn’t like me very much. . .” She felt the urge to be weary of Tyanne in the back of her head but at the same time, she wanted to befriend her.
“I’m so sorry if I made you think that, here’s to a new start.” Both girls took a sip of their drink.
“There’s an odd bitter flavor to my drink, what flavor is this?” Ayalet looked down at her cup as she swirled the contents around.
“Blue Raspberry. Well, I’m going to go explore the party. Enjoy your drink.” Tyanne walked off into the crowd.
Ayalet turned and began walking around when she accidentally bumped into a guy she didn’t recognize. He was tall, had shaggy blonde hair, and a muscular build like he worked out every day. His jeans had torn holes in them while his shirt looked like his sleeves were ripped off. He had these almost stiff hazel eyes that made his hair look that much more blonde.
The guy looked down at her rather puzzled at first until he looked down at the cup in her hand and smiled. His hazel eyes instantly gleamed with a predatory look. He turned to his friends and started muttering something. Ayalet went to turn away but was stopped when the guy rested his arm on her shoulders, “Hey Cutie, Want to go play a game with me.”
Ayalet looked around the room, trying to come up with a reason to say no. Her eyes again stumbled onto Jaison. Tyanne was touching his cheek, leaning forward toward him. Before she could see anything else, she turned back to the guy, “Ahh, sure.” He then steered her toward a table where a group of people were laughing and guzzling cups of the blue punch. She could even see a few people with beer bottles. “Is it a drinking game?”
“It can be, but you don’t have to. You can just drink your punch.”
As they walked up to the table she noticed it was a long thin table with stacks of cups on either side. Two people on one side threw these tiny white balls, one made it into a cup and they took a drink out of the cup in their hand. “What is this game?”
“Beer Pong, though we just fill the cups with water, you can drink whatever is in your hand, alcoholic or not.” He shook his beer lightly in his own hand as an example.
“I see, it looks kind of fun.” She said as she smiled up at him, they clinked their drinks before taking a sip. Again, a slightly bitter taste stuck in her throat. It reminded her of cough syrup mixed with too much lemon juice.
“Want to be my partner then, it’s played in groups of two.” The guy leaned into her, the smell of beer fresh on his breath.
She nodded her head in response and he smiled as he took a swig of his drink. Not knowing what to say she took a sip of her own drink, tipping it back to get the last of it. Again, the bitter flavor hit the back of her throat.
“All done?”
She nodded her head in response, “I’ll go get another one, this one tasted funny.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He picked a glass up filled with some pink bubbly liquid, “here, you’ll probably like this. It’s called Jamaican me happy. It's like a tropical fruit flavored soda.”
“Oh, thanks.” She took it from him and lifted it to her lips. It tasted just like a fruit soda, the bubbles tickling her throat. “Mm, I like it alot.” She said as she smiled up at him.
A huge grin graced his cheeks, “Ready? We’re up next.” He was a really friendly guy, pretty fun to be around so far.
Together they walked up to the tables and he threw his little white ball into the cup, “Goal!” He said as he raised his hand into the air and took a big gulp of his drink. Ayalet went to throw her ball as well and it hit the wall behind the table. “Hey guys, mind if she tries again. This is her first time playing.” The guys across the table agreed to another throw as they tossed the ball back over. The guy, whatever his name was, stepped behind her. He put the ball in her hand, placed his hand on hers and directed it upward.
“You want to bring the ball right in front of your eye and use it to aim the ball in the direction of one of the cups. If you aim for the middle of the cups you have the biggest chance of getting it in.” He pulled her hand back and pushed it forward a couple times. “You pull the ball back and as you push it forward, let it go.” She shot the ball out of her hand and it crashed into a cup on the back line and knocked it over, causing it to crash onto the floor.
The guy next to her jumped up excitedly, turned to her and picked her up into a big bear hug. The air from her lungs rushed out of her as he set her back down. “Great job, and with a dunk you should take a drink.”
As the game continued, Ayalet kept dunking the ball into the cups and finished two drinks she was given as well as halfway through another. At one point, she got a bit too warm and took off her light jacket. After the games finished, she continued sipping her drink in an ever increasing frequency. At one point, he handed her a small glass of something, they clinked the glasses before he directed her to tip her head back and swallow it whole.
The music in the other room changed into a poppy, catchy tune. The guy grasped her hand and asked if she wanted to dance. Tightening her grip on his hand she dragged him onto the dance floor. For the remainder of the song, they danced. As the next song came onto the radio, he pulled her close, her back flat against his chest and their bodies swung from side to side. His hands tightened on her hips as he pulled her ever closer into his groin. A small part of her brain rebelled but she didn’t care. She was having fun and her head felt a bit fuzzy, slurring her thoughts.
Outside she heard a small explosion, turning she saw a small group of guys putting some white candies into a coke bottle. Another explosion went off, spraying liquid into the air. The guy behind her said into her ear, “It’s just a mentos and coke explosion. No big deal.”
Again, the song ended and he pulled her towards the drink table before passing her another cup of the blue punch. As she took a sip, she noted that the bitter taste didn’t bother her anymore. The guy turned to get his own cup. Before he was given the chance to turn around, Jaison walked up and put her over his shoulder. Looking at her cup she noticed the punch had spilled all over the guy she had been talking to.
She squeaked as he swung her up. The fast movement made the room spin. The parts of her touching Jaison felt as if they were humming with electricity. Geez, what was wrong with her? Confused, she started half heartedly thumping her fist on his back.
“Jaissooonnn, PUTT ME DONN NOWW!” The words slurred a bit as she frowned. Was she saying words wrong? “PUTS…. Poots… Putttz… puut” she whispered the word over and over again. Why wasn’t it sounding right? Why couldn’t she say it right?
“Nope.” He said matter of factly as he kept on moving through the crowd.
Within seconds they were out the door and walking back in the direction for which they originally came. At this point, she didn’t even feel like fighting him anymore; so she just sat there as he continued walking. She hated that she liked the feel of his arm around her. His body was so warm under her. She could feel a soft thumping against her skin, though she couldn’t tell if it was his heart or her own. Maybe both.
At some point she dozed off, because when she opened her eyes, all she could see were the stars and feel warmth under head. As she lifted her head, nausea erupted from her stomach, causing her eyes to start tearing up but nothing came out.
“Are you okay?” Jaison asked.
As she was lying there, she realized her mouth was filled with a sour taste. Wishing she had some water she lifted her arm onto her forehead to try and distract her stomach. “What? What do you mean?”
Jaison stared down at her with sympathy in his eyes and placed his hand, which was as cold as ice, against her cheek. “You had that punch Tyanne gave you; you do realize that it had alcohol in it, don’t you?” Moving her arm she turned her head to stare up at Jaison and shook her head.
“I also saw that guy give you a drink. Do you know what he gave you?”
“Which drink?” She asked. Jaison’s hand tightened as his lips pursed but he said nothing.
She went to sit up and the world seemed to spin around her, “I don’t know, he said it was called Jamaican me happy.” She felt herself swaying, it was comforting and made her randomly feel giddy. A strong acidic smell hit her so she looked to the side in curiosity. To no surprise, near her thigh she saw what made her mouth so sour. Damn. She got sick. She noticed chunks of food on her clothes and littering the grass next to her where she felt her wet shirt.
Jaison sighed, “Yeah, that was a wine cooler. It’s alcoholic Ayalet. Have you ever even been to a high school party?”
Feeling heat rush to her cheeks, she turned her head a bit, “No, I haven’t been to any parties since I was younger, but those were like birthday parties. It was fun though. I want to go more often.” She laid her head back down to reduce the spinning.
An uncomfortable look crossed his face while she moved her head. Lifting the upper part of her body, she stared down at where her head was just lying. Why was her head laying on his legs? She could feel her face turning red as Jaison said, “That guy was taking advantage of you, who knows what he was planning to do.”
“And, we were having fun, party pooper.” Ha, pooper, she thought to herself. Wait, why was that so funny? She paused long enough to burp before continuing, “Why is that a problem?” As she finished speaking, shivers overtook her body, a strong feeling of pain pierced her stomach and she felt her throat gagging as tears overflowed her eyes; nothing came out. As she was lying there, a breeze rushed through the area.
Sitting up, Ayalet looked out at the scenery when she felt Jaison start rubbing her back. It felt nice, his hand rubbing circles around helped to distract her from her stomach. No one touched her so gently. She missed the affection. She closed her eyes to enjoy the feel of his hand on her back.
His hands continued to run in circles until they were interrupted by a jolt of electricity that ran through her body. His fingers lightly gripped her shirt before he cleared his throat. From next to her, he quietly said, “It’s a problem Ayalet, because I worry about you. I feel protective of you for some reason, a reason that I can’t explain. It doesn’t make sense to me but when you’re not near I feel jittery. It bothers me that the guy was all over you. What he could have done to you makes my blood boil.”
She turned her head to look at him and his eyes were shooting fire with intensity. His head was barely an inch from her own; she could feel his breath on her lips. She was overwhelmed with the smell of cedar and honey; the smell she was coming to associate with Jaison. Along with his scent, she could smell fruit. He must have had some of the fruit punch as well. A wave of nausea hit her at the thought of the punch, no more punch. She could see his inner lips were blue, maybe he was drunk as well. On her back, his hand tightened around her shirt and she felt his fingers graze her neck. Her heart exploded out of her chest. His fingers tightened on her neck as he rested his head against hers.
“My head is not on straight, I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry Ayalet.” Her heart stuttered, her lips tingling in anticipation. Damn. Did she want him to kiss her? Damn Damn Damn. Why did he have to confuse her so much?
Catching her breath, she turned her head and felt somewhat better. She pushed off from the ground in order to stand before heading in the direction of home. She had a lot of stuff to do before her camping trip. And her relationship with Jaison felt as if it got a whole hell of a lot more complicated. She needed to give herself some breathing room, why was she acting so desperate? Years of being alone she had finally accepted her solitary lifestyle. Why was all this happening now and so fast? How was she supposed to act with him? Ugghh this was making her head spin again.
Alarmed, Jaison started to get up himself as he asked, “Where are you going?”
“I need to go home.” She needed to get away from Jaison before things escalated to. . . what? What did she even want it to escalate to?
Standing there, his eyes begged her not to go, “do you want me to walk you?”
He took a step to follow her when she lifted her hand in response, “No, I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure? Cuz I don’t mind.”
“No,” she responded as she turned around. His face was contorted with pain, so she turned back around. Guilt washed over her as she started walking, she didn’t like getting angry at him she just couldn’t help it. Her heart and brain were in a constant battle with each other. Which one will win out when it comes to Jaison? Letting her feet come to a halt, a sigh escaped her lips as she turned around, “Jaison?”
Hope brightened his face as he looked at her with curiosity. She felt even worse when she saw his face, goodness, she couldn’t handle the roller coaster of emotions he created. She then said, “Thank you” right as she turned around to head home. She glanced around, realizing how close she was to her Aunt’s and decided to head there instead. She didn’t feel well enough to make it to her parent’s house at the moment.