Don't Anger The Omnipotent Chauffeur_Running May (Or May Not) Save You

I awoke to a a blue glowing box floating above my vision.

-|System Initializing|-

Looking down, I found myself starkly naked, as usual for my sleeping habits. What was unusual was the random patch of grass I found myself above.

Above. Not on. Because when being abducted from my bed in the middle of the night and getting dumped in a strange forest I hadn’t been through enough. The ROB that dumped me here also had to get a dig in by dumping me just above some soft grass on a serious of rough, crisscrossing roots while the morning sun watched on judgingly.

Cursing to myself, I stood up just to get off the roots only to notice they spelled something.

In reply to the message I’d found myself on I raised both my middle fingers to the sky, spun in a circle, and yelled. “Fuck you Rob!”

The roots I’d been dumped on very clearly spelled out “R-O-B”

The blue box stayed in the corner of my vision during my entire twirl. Only to flash once as soon as I finished my display of pettiness.

-|Initialization Complete|-

-|Please roll for your stat allocation cap. You will received a number based on the number of sentients in the System World Cluster at maximum totaling the total of all sentients in the System World Cluster.|-

Aside from the odd blue color, a perfect holographic slot machine materialized before me. It had six different reels, with each one having a miniature window adjacent with a [1] sitting in it.

I was still naked, in a forest, in a different world. I could, at the very least, not be completely helpless. Reaching out, I pulled the lever. Or, I tried to. My hand passed right through the holograph, and it seemed to be frozen as when I turned my head it didn’t move.

“Of course, the only thing going for me doesn’t even work. Typical.”

As I finished the though, a glowing red hand shaped cursor slowly floated onto the screen. after a moment, I realized I might have been a bit hasty in pissing off the Random Omnipotent Being that dropped me here, and the cursor didn’t have the index finger extended.

It was flipping me off and moving slowly past the lever directly toward the reels.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please don’t screw me over! Wait! Wait!”

My words fell on deaf ears. Er, fingers. The middle finger proceeded to pull the reels in the opposite direction than intended. A strange, soul deep static seemed to fill my ears as the bastard proceeded to tug until the first reel was spinning faster than I could see. The number in the corresponding window dropped from one to zero. Instead of stopping there, it continued spinning until the number in the window was more digits than I could easily count, but prefaced with a horrifying minus sign.

My pleas continued to go unheard until the second to last one, which was skipped entirely. On the last reel, the floating hand paused, middle finger still extended. The cursor flickered, and resolved itself into a thumbs up before cranking the last reel harder than all the first five combined.

Eventually, I felt an even more discordant static from inside myself as the reel seemed to stall at a number that could go no higher. A positive number that, based on my intuition, was about the right size to be equal in magnitude the negative numbers on the previous five combined. With a final push, the counter ticked up one more time, somehow managing to crack the display of the holographic slot machine and complete the process of rolling for my max stats.

With that, the cursor raised its middle finger once more, before waving at me and slowly moving off the screen.

As soon as the cursor was gone, the system seemed to kick back in as if nothing had occurred.

-|Congratulations! You have completed your stat

allocation cap roll. Your results are final. If there

are any issues with your stat allocation please

let your World Cluster Administrator know at it’s

next local visit in (200,000) Standard Cycles.|-

-|Your Stat Cap Allocation is as follows:

Strength* - (-61,397,387,324)

Wisdom* - (-43,125,735,435)

Intelligence* - (-97,242,428,501)

Constitution* - (-89,753,163,030)

Luck* - (1)

Dexterity* - (291,518,714,290)|-

-|Error|-

-|Starting stat cannot be less than minimum value (1)|-

-|Setting negative stat values to minimum value (1)|-

After reading through the mind bogglingly large numbers in front of me, I noticed the asterisks next to each of my stats. Mentally focusing on them allowed me to pull up another window to hover over the main screen.