[Name?]
Sighing for the four hundred and twentieth time, I shuffle forward as the lone woman manning a massive beige counter calls out to the next person in line. Checking the line in front of me, I start getting antsy. Only a few more people until it's my turn. Glancing behind me, I send my condolences to the new arrivals, all facing days of standing in line. No distractions, no decorations, no fatigue, hunger or thirst. Just boredom. It's not that bad when you know what's coming, having been here once before, my nerves were just a tad bit better than my first. Where was I? Well… In a random devils office. Why? To receive my options. Whether to be reincarnated, transmigrated, any other form of continuing the life cycle including joining the staff or to leave the cycle completely and vanish into oblivion.
[Next! Name?]
Ignoring the cries asking of inequality, the pretty devilish lady started whispering the next soul’s choices. Why a devil? I was told that the “devils and angels are just two of the many subtypes of administrative staff. Popular belief is due to angelic beings seen rewarding those believed to be just and beings with devilish characteristics being seen as monstrous and dangerous by most mortals.”
[Next! Name?]
Another… Just a few more until I can go again. How did I get here? I died. Twice. My first time was due to old age, diabetes and probably a dozen delicious donuts. What type? Coconut of course! My second death? I sneezed while enjoying the view dangerously close to the edge of a cliff. I fell off and somehow dove into the sparkling blue water below. I missed the protruding rocks and somehow broke the surface again relatively alive. I died trying to swim towards the nearby beach. A rogue wave brained me on a particularly pointy boulder at the base of the cliff.
[Next!]
This time, I will live life to its fullest for sure!
[Next!]
No cliffs. No donuts. No rigid social structure or angry mobs. I just hope I don’t end up in a time without toilets or on the demand hot water baths. You really start missing the small things like toilet paper.
[You in the front! Stop daydreaming and move up!]
Blinking, I find no one in front of me. Trying my best to scratch my head as I meekly move up to the lady, I focus on my wispy arms. Crossing them, hoping for a bit more luck this time around as I admire her beauty.
[Hi, how may I he-... My name is Ush Burn.]
Cursing my customer service habits that lasted a second lifetime, I nervously watch her stare back with a pensive look. With a flash in her eyes, she starts to quitely recite my options.
[ Ush Burn- three options available. Your first option is to join our lovely and caring family as a probationary administrator. All memories will be retained and a space will be provided where you may gather the souls of your loved ones. When they die, they will be given an option to join your space if not given the option to join our staff as well. The second option is to be transmigrated as a young adult to a random world in a random universe with a similar body. You will forget most of your past memories including loved ones and muscle memories as well as skills that you have picked up. You will only retain your personality and strong motivations should you choose to keep them. The third option is OBLIVION.]
Sighing again, I stare at the unamused face giving me the exact same options as last time.
[Option two please. I want to retain everything I can.]
Nodding, she motions me to move forward while looking at the next soul. Already forgotten huh? Moving into a white flashing vortex in front of me, I pray to the administrative gods that will soon rule over me. Just a trick I was told of by a kind soul just a few hours behind me in line. Maybe that's why the room is so big, eventually the veterans who have died tens of times would impart their knowledge to good looking newbies. It's just my luck that I happen to be next to one. Apparently the brighter your soul shines, the better you did in your last life. In contrast, the dimmer your soul shines, the less likely you are to get any good options. Feeling the tug of the vortex, I look back one last time. That lady really was ugly. The only thing exceptional about her were her eyes, all shiny and colorful.
One moment I feel the crushing weight of the vortex folding me hundreds of thousands of times and the next I feel nothing. Another tidbit of useless knowledge, I should be in the lag phase. Another kind soul just a few days ago filled yet another good looking person who happened to be just behind me that us souls pass an indefinite amount of time in a lag period. Time passes and the soul is sent to the most convenient reality and world as determined by yet another administrator. The only saving grace is that it's just a few minutes for the soul.
Stolen novel; please report.
Just moments later the familiar feeling of existing returns as I feel myself start to expand, twist and unfold. One second. Light returns. Two seconds. Deafening sound and dull pain. Three seconds. Feeling and sense of self returns. Breathe in and Breathe out. Feeling the breath hit the top of my lips I smile. I transmigrated! Not that terrible reincarnation stuff. Tentatively opening my eyes, I blink them rapidly as the blinding light becomes more manageable. CHecking my body, I find myself fully clothed in mottled leather. A very short dagger laid in front of my boots accompanied by a small compass as well as a decent sized pocket watch. Patting my clothing down, I find nothing hidden away. Exhaling with relief, I feel my short hair and adjust my crotch. Still a man! Back to life! Clearing my throat, I test my voice before picking up my dagger, compass and pocket watch. Stuffing the dagger into my belt, I store the pocket watch in my pocket before opening the compass. No convenient arrows to point where I should go. No convenient information or welcome to the world message. Just a compass.
[Now… Where do I go? Actually where am I?]
Nothing. There is absolutely nothing around me! Except the sand. Endless amounts of sand dunes and more piles of sand on top of them. Holding my head in despair, I accidentally knock the hat off my head. Picking it up, I spot the word east written on the inside. Blinking, I smile wryly. Checking my compass, I walk straight west.
[No way in hell I go to where I’m supposed to. Nope! Definitely not looking for people.]
Noticing the world’s star setting in the west, I wonder if this one is called the sun as well.
[You see this admins! This is me saying no! No responsibility for me!]
A few more minutes of screaming at the sky later, I mechanically walk west in silence. There has to be something west right? I’m not walking deeper into an arid desert right? This isn’t my - how many times have I died now? Passing a stack of rocks, I pause before turning around and walking towards it. What could possibly go wrong? Poisonous snake? I stab it! Moving cactus? I stab it twice! Land shark? I learn sand attack and run!
[What the...]
The closer I got the dizzier I felt. Wiping the sweat off my brow, I stubbornly keep walking. Is it just me or is the stack or rocks moving? Rubbing my eyes, I blink a few times only to see the stack of rocks disappear.
[No way. It was just a mirage.]
Sighing in disappointment, I take my dagger out and place my compass on a relatively flat section of sand. Balancing the dagger on the compass, I gingerly spin the dagger. Any direction is fine, just not east. Crossing my fingers while praying to the devil, the dagger stops just north of east. Blinking dumbly at the dagger, I reach for it slowly. Pocketing the compass, I take a deep breath.
[East… I'm not going east dammit!]
What’s the worst that can happen, I die? To the West! Maybe if I get far enough I'll find an oasis and live the rest of my life there. Calming my turbulent thoughts, I dust my hands off and resume walking straight west. Making my way over a dune, I watch a snake slither away. Standing very still, I watch as the massive snake, at least half a meter thick, disappear over the crest. Feeling the arid wind blasting against my face, I feel thankful for being downwind from that monstrosity. Nervously chuckling, I decide to descend further down the dune and out of view from any potential oversized predators.
Tiredly walking along the crest of the dune, I stay in the shade. Pulling the compass out I sign as I watch the needle point north. Climbing the crest, I glance towards the west to find endless amounts of dunes. SIghing in defeat, I throw a cursory look in the other directions only to find movement in the northeastern direction. Whatever it is hiding behind the next dune crest is definitely taller than me. Pulling out my dagger, I slowly descend the slope and climb the next. Keeping track of the beast moving just meters ahead of me, I slowly edge closer to the top of the crest. Hearing a distinctive sound, I hurry to the top to find my suspicions were right. It's a camel! Camel-like-thing. Almost completely white, the camel seemed to have some sort of plating all over its body. Aren’t its legs thicker and teeth sharper than they should be?
[Something's off about it? I remember… Nothing. I remember nothing. Must be a previous life thing.]
The only thing I know for some reason is the hump is iconic for something I don't remember, and that they store excess water inside them. Sizing the beast up, I decide against attacking it. Not only is it intimidating to look at, it's even a meter and a half taller than me. Noticing movement right behind it, my dashed hopes revive. It's a baby! It may be just two meters tall, but it should still have water. Now all I have to do is separate it. Licking my parched lips, only for them to stick to my tongue, I slowly follow behind them. I’m not a coward, just an advocate of personal life, liberty and happiness.
Minutes of stalking turn to hours until they suddenly stop. Slinking forward, I spot a small sinkhole in the sand in front of the adult. The adult staring at it and the baby nipping at the adult camels nipples. Udders. Yes, camels should have udders. Kicking the baby away, the adult concentrates on the sinkhole for some reason. Maybe it's a camel thing, I’m pretty sure quicksand doesn’t appear in arid deserts. Accidentally reflecting sunlight off my dagger near the baby, I notice it following it. Grinning, I shine the light spot around the adult before moving it faster back and forth. Getting it to start hobbling as fast as it can. Directing it to my side of the adult, I direct the baby to run around the sinkhole giving it a wide berth. Lifting its head, the adult seems to panic as it roars while running towards the baby.
[Well, shoot… That thing’s got daggers for teeth. Ush i think its time to move on...]
Quickly making the reflected light disappear, I huddle down close to the crest and make myself scarce. Just in time too as an even louder roar erupts as sand goes flying everywhere. Peeking above the crest, I scream in horror.
[Oh, god! Oh shit!]
The intimidating adult camel thing was dangling from the mandibles of an even larger worm thing. Considering the lack of limbs and the height outside of the dunes, it should be at least as long as a football field. Whimpering as I claw and tumble down the slope away from it, I hear a distressed cry getting closer to me. Looking back I see a deranged baby camel thing running after me. Not only is it faster, It looks just as terrified if that were possible. Making a split second decision, I move to the side and crunch down, waiting. Just seconds later as its head passes me, I jump, latching onto its hump. Glancing back I watch the worm swallow the adult whole before retreating back into the ground. Sighing in relief, I use my trembling arms to pull me up onto the baby camel.
[That is not okay! Things like that don’t exist!]
Turning its head around to look at me, the camel flashes it’s canines. Slapping the camel, I grab its head and smack its head for good measure. So what if its a man eater mini camel? I’ll stab it for real this time!