Standing at the edge of the platform, Mayah held her newly created release wand. Her teammates had finished eating and Grax was lying on top of Vergie with the rötten. Margaret was using Vergie's ribs as a pillow. They happened to be camped so close together so that Mayah would have room to work. Instead of having the Open (Lf) and Hold (E) runes. This wand was inscribed with the runes to recall something from the runiverse, Call (A), Open (Lf), and Release (L).
In her left hand she held her storage wand on the side where the hole in the bottom of the room threatened to swallow anything that fell off of the platform. She channeled mana into the release wand and placed it near the crystal that lay on the ground at her feet. The crystal flew to the tip on the inscribed runeagram and buzzed excitedly.
She added more mana slowly and the log inside began is reemergence back into the world. She watched to see the orientation of the log. If she placed it wrong, it would overbalance and fall off of the platform into the depths. There was a moment where she could reorient the item as it was weightless and get it mostly lined up.
She did this successfully multiple times. They'd spent the better part of two hours recharging.
Another twenty grenades won't help too much if we run into another room like that last one. But man our stock was getting low. That room of bones was brutal. No wonder so many teams died the first day. This side is a lot harder than vuurmin fields.
She placed the log down, made another grenade, then clapped her hands. "Time to move out."
"Finally, this rock is hard on my old bones," Margaret whined.
"Mags these aren't your bones and they're aren't old either," Grax quipped.
"Well, it was hard because of the bones then."
Vergie let the rötten get back into their pouches.
"All right gang, time to open doors and win prizes. Grax you're on point, Mags you're on bow unless the situation changes."
Grax slid his katanas over one another and stood next to the door. Mayah stood on the other side with her hand on the handle. Margaret stood just out of line with the door and had a tree grenade arrow nocked. Mayah gave everyone a look and then stepped back, pulling the door open.
Grax popped his head into view and back as quickly as possible. And then spun into the doorway. Mayah followed him in and saw a set of steps curving down into the darkness.
Why do the steps always curve down into the darkness? That's just lazy. What about switchback steps? At least then we'd know it was zombies.
They descended for thirty feet when they found an archway with a landing and entered another large cavern. As they passed through, Mayah realized they were at least a hundred and fifty feet above the ground and the cavern was at least three times as large as the room above. She was tempted to let out a whistle but remembered that quiet was her friend. A dim orange glow was emanating from the ceiling and Mayah's eyes followed the stairs as they went around a column and out of sight. She looked over to see the stair case ringing down the column below them to the floor. She wished there was a parapet or balustrade but, game logic.
From their vantage point, they saw a floor covered with bones and two more identical columns in the distance. The columns, spaced equilaterally around the cavern and holding up the ceiling, were each ringed with an open staircase like the one they stood atop. Mayah gave her team the once over and found Margaret with her back to the archway looking nervously up and down the steps.
"Mags you okay?"
"Just a bit of a thing with heights, dear."
"How come you didn't say anything at vuurmin fields?" Grax asked.
"Need I remind you, I didn't have a chance to say anything before I was tossed from the edge?"
"Point made." Grax nodded with a smirk.
"But what about acrobat training?" Mayah asked.
"It's not the heights that you can climb on an A-frame ladder. But heights like this? Ehhh….."
"You going to be okay?"
"I'm sure I'll make it." Margaret closed her eyes and swallowed deeply, taking a calming breath and putting her back against the wall.
"You're going to keep your back on the wall the whole time, aren't you?" Grax asked.
"And if I do?" Margaret glared atomic death daggers at the cat.
Grax raised his paws. "It's totally cool. No problem with it, at all."
"Good!" Margaret
"Just watch out for spiders."
Margaret spun to check the wall as Vergie pushed past her forcing her to the edge of the steps. Margaret realized where she was and spun to slam herself back against the wall and clutched her chest in fear. Vergie chuffed and Grax chuckled.
"Alright," Mayah sighed. "Now that we have that settled, let's go down." Mayah waited a millisecond for any comment about sewers but got none.
Thank god for the small things.
She took the steps slowly following Grax. Her eyes were searching the floor and columns for any movement. Her ears searched for noises. Halfway down the steps she heard the rustle of movement which echoed in the cavern and then she spotted the bones falling from the ceiling closer to one of the other columns. The sound continued long past the first tense seconds.
They hurried while the bones were falling hoping that it would cover any noise they'd make. They hopped off of the stairs and made a circuit of the staircase hoping to find a waypoint or some other identifying mark to move them forward.
"What next princess?" Grax asked, his head continuously scanning.
"For now, I'm not sure. Perimeter or columns first?" Mayah gave Grax the choice.
"Let's do perimeter."
"C'mon Mags, let walk the walls." Mayah told Margaret. Vergie pushed the necromancer-ranger forward with her snout.
They crunched along the bones on the floor which was barely audible over the sound of the bones raining down from the sky. The torrent of skeletal precipitation tapered off and the Paladins were now the only noise in the silence. Every step felt like it was a gunshot in the empty cavern and they tiptoed over the remains of what had to hundreds of thousands of bodies from multiple species. They made it to the walls and began there.
"I don't like this anymore, Fluff." Margaret griped.
"I understand. Hence the word grind," Mayah informed her.
"What happened to farming? Are we still farming? I'm three quarters of the way to level 24."
"Mags, more looking. Less talking. There's got to be a way through this place."
"Why don't you try to raise a few skeletons while you have the time and mana," Grax ordered.
"Fine. Just this long pause is making me nervous. It's like there's going to be some—"
Grax leapt onto Margaret. He held one paw to Margaret's mouth while holding onto her vest with three others. He stared into her eyes like death itself and hisspered, "Don't you dare finish that sentence."
From there he quietly and sternly continued. "There are things we tell you not to say, right? Nod your head if you understand." Margaret nodded. "This is one of those things. Do you understand?" Margaret nodded again.
"Now keep those words to yourself. We're all feeling that same pressure. Understand?" Margaret nodded.
"Now," Grax removed his paw and tried to straighten her clothing, which was kind of difficult because he was standing on them. "I'm sorry I had to jump all over you. But please remember to think those thoughts before you say them okay?"
Margaret nodded one last time.
"Good." He patted Margaret on the cheek and then jumped down with a crunch.
Mayah sidled up to Margaret. "He just shushed you pretty good. He literally just jumped all over you."
Margaret just stared at Mayah as she watched to cat skulk about looking for clues.
"He has his uses, sometimes. And I'm siding with him on this. I've been superstitious about a few things since I was a kid. And video games is one of them."
She pat Margaret on the arm reassuringly. "Despite your having to learn everything, in arguably the most advanced game in the world, you're doing great. Even Grax knows it, though he may not say anything."
Margaret continued to pout.
"C'mon Mags, get your game face on." She gave Margaret a smile. "They'll be time enough for emotions when we're not beset by skeletons. Besides this is a great place for a Nec to level. So many bones without guts." Mayah offered cheerfully.
Margaret nodded morosely.
"Cheer up Mags, or I'll make you sew all types of ooey gooey zombie parts together." Mayah slapped Margaret on the shoulder as she saw Margaret shudder.
"Fine!" Margaret screwed up her face. "Game face on."
"That's my girl."
They followed Grax as he skulked along the wall keeping a sharp eye out for any movement. The orange light. Made the bones appear yellow and the shadows a violet fog that abruptly turned into darkness.
Halfway between the pillars they found a low stone plinth that barely rose an inch above the bones strewn around it. Margaret, being the tallest spotted it first and Grax moved towards it cautiously.
As they approached a column of blue light floated out from a crack in the stone. It expanded into a ten by ten-foot tall cylinder of hazy blue. Indistinct forms of a lighter blue about the size of a hand swam through the light. As they moved around, the light forms remained garbled and twisted. They moved around in the light like fish in an aquarium.
"Can you guys see that?" Grax asked since he circled the light faster than the others he stared into the light with an enhanced curiosity.
"Yup," Mayah said in hushed tones as she peered over his shoulder.
"Me, too," Margaret hisspered over Mayah's shoulder.
"Me, Three," came a loud whiny voice from over Margaret's shoulder.
Vergie roared and all three of the Death claws jumped and then scattered away from the voice as fast as they could. When they turned they found a nine foot tall skeleton wearing a tattered hooded robe. He was standing next to the blue light, rubbing his jaw as if it was sore. Vergie continued to growl as she stalked closer.
"Ouch," the skeleton whined. Small white spots in the darkness of his skull eye sockets rotated glancing between each paladin rather quickly.
The death Claws may have been caught flat footed but they were no slouches and the skeleton was already within striking range for all of them. The first to make their move, even before Vergie, were Margaret's skeletal dolls.
"Really? I come to say 'hey' and you chuckle buckets can't even apologize for making me bite my tongue?"
Mayah held up a hand to stop Margaret. The dolls froze again, but remained on guard. "Do you even have a tongue?"
The skeleton looked up in thought and said, "No. But if I did I would have bitten it."
"Did that bump even hurt?" Mayah asked even more cynically.
The skeleton shrugged, straightening. "Ya got me. So what was so interesting in here?" He thumbed at the blue column of light and turned his back to the paladins to stare at the blue light. The Death Claws watched him with all the attention they had minus the small bit used for checking sixes. It walked left and right trying to find the perfect angle to stare into the blue light. When it found the correct angle again, it sighed deeply.
The death claws shared an unspoken look of "what is going on here?" between the three of them and then turned back to the skeleton.
The skeleton spun around so quick all three of them jumped.
"Did you guys read this yet?" The skeleton asked, pointing a finger over its shoulder at the blue light.
"Who's asking?" Grax asked the skeleton.
"Oh my bad, dawg!"
Mayah could swear the skeleton waggle its eyebrows at Grax as he dropped into the slightly insulting slanguage.
"The name is Heather!" Heather put her hand on other hip. "Or is it Dave? I mean I am very, very grumpy." Dave scratched his chin in contemplation. "I mean it could be O'Banthony, or Alex, or Rounds, I really like the sounds Rounds make on my tongue—except I don't have a tongue." The skeleton was having a full blown conversation with itself at this point and no one wanted to interrupt.
"But it could just as easily be Freibott. That's a strong name right there. I am Freibott crusher of things." The voice changed to a Schwarzenegger-esque parody. "Or am I more of a Kristen? What do you think? Or… ooh, ooh I could definitely be a JanJon that has superstar power to it."
It finally turned to the paladins as they stood there in a confused state of awe unsure of how to proceed. Vergie had her head cocked to the side like Nipper, the RCA dog and the phonograph. Everytime the skeleton said a name, more than its voice changed. It was a full personality switch. An unnerving carousel of personality switches. Even Mayah's ever whirling brain had to pause as the skeleton had gone into character for each voice.
Dave was indeed a grumpy old man, and Kristen had a tinkling snorting laughter to its character. Grax's and Margaret's jaws hung open while Mayah's face contorted into a sneer of cognitive dissonance.
"Okay don't make a girl feel bad," it said in heather's voice.
"They just don't know what to make of you stupid theatrics. That why I said you should let me talk?" Dave Grumped.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
The original whiny voice of JanJon chimed in. "You always wanna talk. Let someone else get a chance."
Dave yelled, "You were the one who started to talk to them and look where that got us."
"I have to agree with Dave," Freibott piped in his muscley Austrian voice, forcing the skeleton to stand ramrod straight and bob his head athletically as he spoke. "You made us seem weak, incompetent and fearful. One must always start from a position of power to remain the alpha."
"Freibott, Dude, Chillax a little, dawg. We just met these little dude and dudettes. Why are you going all alpha on everyone?"
"Alex, you freaking hippie!!! I'm nobody's beta." Dave's voice jumped in again.
"Here's a pill to chill, Dave. Take it before you don’t make it through your heart attack.”
“Well, that won’t happen.” This voice was extremely poindextery and nasally. “I mean if you haven’t noticed we’re a skeleton. No living tissues to be concerned about.”
“O’Banthony is right,” Freibott barked. Besides, if we had a heart, it would be the most muscular heart you could imagine. It would pump so much blood!!! It would be so… PUMPED… UP!!!”
The skeleton suddenly clutched itself and shook with rage its eyes turning red. Smoke curled from its mouth, and Mayah could swear there were small flames in the back of its throat. She motioned for everyone to step back and they did.
Finally, the skeleton roared in a voice that sounded more draconic than human, “Why are you idiots fighting again? I was watching a movie on the couch and making chips. I swear if I have to come back out here I will destroy you all.”
As suddenly as the fiery voice came, it went. The skeleton held a finger to its teeth in a hushing manner and Kristen’s tiny voice said, “Be quiet or Rounds is going to wake up again. He’s a real no nonsense type. Hates to be disturbed. I’m sure you know what I mean?”
Mayah nodded awkwardly and then looked to Grax to somehow save her.
“Well, anyway,” Kristin continued. “Have you seen this?” It pointed to the garbled words floating in the light. “Come, take a look. I think its important.”
“We know they’re important,” Freibott spoke loudly before he could slam his own hands over his mouth.
Heather said through her fingers, “Freibott you need to shut up for a few minutes. Nod if you understand.”
The skeleton nodded.
“Sorry about him,” Heather apologized. “He gets easily excited. But, take a look why don’t you?”
The paladins stared at the skeleton standing right where they needed to be to see the words in focus. Even if they were garbled.
“Move, idiot you’re in the way.” Dave said.
“Oh, sorry” JanJon responded timidly and stepped to the side.
All three paladins kept their eyes on Heather-Dave-JanJon-Kristen-Rounds-Alex-Freibott-O’Banthony as it sidled even further away when he noticed they weren’t taking their eyes off of it.
“Keep an eye on him, girl.” Mayah said to Vergie with a nice serving of scritches.
Mayah and Margaret turned to look into the light and Grax pointed two claws at his eyes and then back at the skeleton before he turned to look at the blurred words floating in front of them. The words swam for another three-count and then resolved into a single sentence that started to repeat itself over and over again. Just three words that spun across their vision like an animated marquee.
“Spin that wheel? What does that even mean?” Grax asked.
“Well, let me tell you!” A gameshow announcer’s voice barked over a PA system. Some standard cheesy game show theme music began playing. The disconcerting sound rang in their ears a dissonant clash against the generalized hush present throughout the dungeon.
They all turned to see the skeleton right next to them, one hand holding a superscope wand microphone a la Bob Barker. The other hand was on his knee and he bent down slightly to stare at them. When he was sure he had their attention, he spun away in a pirouette and a spotlight shone down on him. His outfit had completely changed. Instead of the tattered cloak, he now wore a tan blazer, brown bell-bottom slacks, white shirt, and a garish awning striped tie. On his head, there was a wig of thick brown hair that looked like they styled it in the seventies with so much hairspray that it refused to move, even through the decades up to today. Even as he swaggered and spun in the spotlight.
If that even is a wig?
“Wha…” was all that Grax could get out.
“He looks like—” was all Margaret could get out before the skeleton cut her off.
“Welcome contestants to… Wheel… of… personalities!!!” An applause sign lit up behind the skeleton as a canned recording of applause came from nowhere.
“Thank you! thank you!” It bowed to no one in particular and waved to the emptiness of the space. “I’ll be your host, JanJon Doomendeath.”
“Contestants if you would be so kind as to step up onto the stone.”
They looked at the skeleton skeptically.
“Don’t stand there looking like a fish out of water.” He moved to where Mayah stood faster than Mayah could track and whispered to the death claws across the back of its hand, “This is a game show, I’ll explain it in a second.” And then he was back in the spotlight.
Mayah looked at Grax and he gave a shrug.
“For those of you that don’t know the rules, let me explain.” He motioned to the death claws. “Once our contestants enter the blue light…”
Margaret, who was happy clapping at the show, instantly walked towards the blue glow until Mayah grabbed her by the hood and yanked. Margaret gakked and almost fell back Mayah had pulled so hard.
“Fluff?” Margaret tried to snatch her cloak back from Mayah but stopped short as she saw the angry look on the enchanter’s face.
“Mags, were you just going to go with an obvious bad guy named Doomendeath? Who is also OBVIOUSLY a skeleton in a bone dungeon?”
A look of shame crossed Margaret’s face.
“Noob.” Grax growled.
Margaret’s head dropped even further.
Mayah turned to the Skeleton of many names and asked, “What happens if we don’t get on the platform?”
It sauntered and swaggered closer, looked out into the nothing like there was an audience there and said into the microphone, “Looks like our contestants don’t want to play the game.” Canned boos echoed through the cavern. “That means they get to fight all eight personalities at once.” A murmur of excitement rolled through the canned response.
“Would you like to see that ladies and gentlemen and whatever it is that you are sir?” The skeleton pointed at Grax getting chuckles and applause from the audience.
The skeleton host leaned in and said with Kristin’s tinkly voice. “Just play along with JanJon. He’s been working on this for a very long time. And he’s made it so you have a chance to win at least. If not Rounds, the angry one with fire will take control and then it's all smash and burn, blood and guts. If you catch my meaning?”
Mayah sniffed and stared at the skeleton with the personality disorder.
“Fine we’ll play.” Mayah said through gritted teeth.
“We are?” Grax said skeptically.
“We are?” Margaret clapped happily.
They both looked at Margaret sternly.
“Game face Mags. This is just the free ride to the fight.”
“But I can enjoy the gameshow portion can’t I?”
JanJon swept in and took Margaret’s hand. “Of course you can, dear lady. We can’t start until I at least give you the rules.”
“I’ve always wanted to be on a game show,” Margaret exclaimed to her teammates as JanJon led her to the platform and into the light.
“Well, at least it’s not a soap opera.” Mayah grumbled after Margaret disappeared.
“My Abuelita would’ve loved that.”
Mayah couldn’t help but chuckle which made Grax chuckle, so they were both smiling as they stepped on to the stone platform followed by Vergie and the rötten. When they finally stepped completely into the blue light, their bodies hummed and the blue light pushed them off the other side of the platform. They found that it had transported them to the center of the cavern. There was casino wheel with all of the skeleton’s names on it and a red arrow hanging from the top.
The music blasted, and the crowd cheered until the skeleton motioned for his invisible audience to stop.
“Now the we have everyone here, the rules, for everyone playing and listening are quite simple. We spin the wheel and whichever personality you land on is the one you fight? Any questions?” He asked and hurried on before anyone could say anything.
“Good! Good! Now, young lady,” he pushed Margaret towards the casino wheel. “SPIN… THAT… WHEEL!!!”
Before Mayah could stop her, Margaret reached out and gave the wheel a spin. The wheel went round and round and round, clacking the pins against the red arrow making it bounce jauntily. The wheel finally came to a stop on the name Dave.
“Alrighty ya little turd tuggers, it’s time to get down and dirty.”
Standing where Janjon had been was the same skeleton who was now wearing a torn and dirty chipmunk costume, smoking a cigar and tossing back the last dregs of his highball. He burped loudly, chucked the glass over his shoulder and exhaled a large cloud of smoke that smelled like feet.
“Now listen up! Since JanJon is making me wear this stupid chipmunk costume, I’m feeling like stripping the flesh off’a yer bones for stepping on my lawn.”
“What lawn?”
“Shut it shrimp cattail. I’m in charge and you either die like good boys and girls or you die like bad boys and girls.”
“That’s not a difference!” Margaret yelled
“Realized that did ya, firetop?”
“Firetop?” Margaret snorted with indignation and nocked an arrow.
“Looks like you got two brain cells.” Dave winked lecherously at Margaret. “Now, whether they talk to each other is a whole ’nother discussion.”
“I want to break his face.” Margaret growled.
“Now she gets her game face.” Mayah rolled her eyes.
“You immature skidmarks ready?”
“Hey! You grouchy old bones.” Grax yelled.
Dave shooed the cat. “I’ve been called much worse by much better, young feller.”
Dave continued to ignore Grax’s mumblings as he rose onto a platform that slowly spun him around and around and yelled, “Here we go!”
Dave clapped his hands twice and the blue light shot out from the center of the stone to encompass a circle two-hundred feet in diameter. The wall of light blazed fiery red and turned into a screen that showed multiple angles of Dave from an invisible camera. Dave hammed it up as the music changed from game show to early metal. Mayah found herself liking the music as Dave posed, flexed, played air guitar, and puffed smoke like a dragon. Finally, pyrotechnics went off around the edge of the battlefield and words that went from floor to the top of the barrier appeared.
DAVE VS SKIDMARKS
FIGHT!!!
“We hit him hard!!!”
“Not a problem, dear.”
“Like I’d do anything less,” Grax chuckled.
Dave Yelled, “Whoo hoo…!!!” and dove off the tower. He swan dove into the bones barely displacing any calcium as he disappeared below their surface.
“Uh, oh!” Mayah uttered
The Royal death claws looked in every direction searching for Dave
“Where is he?”
“We don’t know, you wheel spinning grandma.” Grax
“Kill the chatter,” Mayah barked. “You feel that?”
As soon as Mayah said it, the others felt the ground shaking and a pile of bones was rising from the ground twenty feet in front of them. When they pile was twenty feet high, it burst apart in a rain of bony shrapnel. A giant Chipmunk complete with a smoking cigar made of bones stood before them.
In an exhale of smoke blown directly at them Dave roared, “Get off of my lawn!!!” He dropped to all fours and leapt covering the distance between them in a flash. His bony tail that would’ve been fluffy on a chipmunk twitched and bristled as he landed. Bones scattered and the arrow that Margaret had launched went wide of his face. It landed on his shoulder and flames covered his chipmunk form.
Your party has attacked
Dave Doomendeath
Level 17
-180 Over (F) Grenade
1295/1475
He wailed in agony as the flames burned him and Mayah decided to add some Acid (D) grenades, tossing them on the bony conflagration while staying clear of the thrashing. Grax was adding Spike (W) stilettos concentrating on the rear legs.
Damage notifications rolled past with every tick of the DOTs and the Death claws kept piling them up. But the icing on the cake was Margaret’s doll climbing up on Dave’s head. It took it’s bony fist and slammed it into the inky darkness of Dave’s eye. It did nothing at first but then the doll grabbed the white dot in dave’s eye and pulled.
Dave shrieked and cursed like a bridezilla named Karen finding her white wedding dress covered in blueberry jam. He shook his head and bounded away from the death claws giving himself some distance. He kept an eye on Margaret to dodge the Over (F) arrows she kept tagging him with.
When he got some distance from the necro-ranger, he got a break from the flames, acid, and ice. He stood there breathing hard his health bar just below the quarter mark. He stuck his chipmunk claws into his empty eye socket and tsked. He looked up just in time to see the arrow Margaret had launched at him and skipped to the side. He let out a deep growl that rumbled over the sound system.
“I’m gonna kick your Kentucky bluegrass!!!” he roared. Then he scrambled Backward as fast as he could and ran until he made it to the wall farthest from the Death claws..
“Shaz, he’s fast!”
“But his health bar is almost down to the last quarter. This should be easy.” Margaret announced.
Both Grax and Mayah gave her a look of death causing Margaret to wilt.
“What?” She asked.
“Do you want to say it or should I?”
“I’ll take this one princess.” He continued speaking to Mayah while he looked at Margaret. He spoke loudly and slowly. “No, I don’t think those two brain cells talk to each other.”
Margaret Hmmphed loudly and they all turned their head to Dave who was pawing the ground like a bull about to charge. He snorted smoke from his enlarged nostrils and then bolted towards them. The paladins readied their weapons when Mayah saw a flash of green and colors behind him, just before their attacks reached him. Dave blurred ahead so fast it seemed like every step was a strobe light into the future.
Shaz!!! He must have activated a speedup!
Before any of their attacks could reach them he blurred and reappeared tens of feet from where he was. Mayah braced for a swing as he got closer but he dodged the crushing blow. Dave didn’t attack but wove between the paladins leaving a trail of green light as he weaved around them and leapt over their heads so fast the trio was left looking for where he had been. Repeatedly, the giant chipmunk jumped through their formation, never landing a blow.
The death claws could only watch until Dave skidded to a halt forty feet from them, casting back a rooster tail of loose bones. The green trails of light however, lingered. They floated in between and around the death claws sparkling with small blossoms of color popping out.
Before the death claws even had a chance to move, Dave grinned maliciously, and yelled, “THORN BASKET!!!”
The colored blooms turned into flowers that hung in midair becoming the epicenters of an explosion of arm thick vines. the vines seemed to grow from the flowers and reached out to tangle the death claws in an instant. Arms legs were pinned as the vines snaked around their torsos and throats. The vines turn from supple green to a dark brown and thorns sprouted along their length. One inch, two inches, finally they were held in a cradle of the thorns. Then the thorns, vines, and flowers dissipated like smoke leaving them covered with tiny pin pricks.
Your party has been attacked
Dave Doomendeath
Level 17
-72 Thorn Basket
1854/1926HP
You have received a Debuff
Bleeding -8HP/5 Sec
-50% Health Regen.
Timer 2:00 Minutes
1846/1926HP
/1614HP
Of course, we stayed in the area of effect because the lights were pretty. Mayah mentally facepalmed.
“That hurt!” Margaret yelled. She was rubbing her body like she was getting attacked by bees.
“Well, you spun the wheel.” Grax yelled back while emulating her dance.
“We’ll toss blame later. For now he’s at fault and I haven’t extracted my pound of blood yet.”
“He doesn’t have any blood.” Margaret commented.
“You never know Margaret. You never know.” Mayah pointed at dave with happiness, then she got into her batter’s stance and pointed to the far wall with her off hand. She saw the action replay on the screens around the arena.
“She back to being creepy. That means it’s time to smash things,” Grax cheered happily.
Dave snorted again, seeing that his attacks were mostly useless. He looked up to the ceiling and growled, “I’m gonna use it.”
JanJon’s voice responded from the ceiling, “Don’t! You know those tests haven’t been conclusive.”
“Don’t care. You put me in a chipmunk suit. A flarfing chipmunk suit. What about a t-rex? Did you think about that? NO… You just had to get all weird with your choices, which is why we’ve never let you have your way until now. I can’t believe that idiot lost at roshambo!”
“But we don’t know what it’ll do to you.”
“Don’t care. Make sure you bury me with a bottle of my best, if that’ll make ya feel better.”
Dave’s eye returned to the death claws. “Well, it looks like it’s time to finish this.” And with that he began to glow green. A river of green lights flowed out from under his feet towards the death claws.
The paladins all ran from the lights, but the lights followed wherever they went. Dave continued to channel despite being tagged with three arrows by Margaret. The green glow expanded from him until like a green sun. Mayah could just barely make Dave out. He was floating three feet off of the floor like a buddha, holding hand mudras in hundreds of hands.
Mayah yelled, “Aegis (S) ribbons!!!” Just before Dave’s eyes opened and pierced into the paladins souls and they froze in place.
They were lifted up from the ground as dave’s voice came from everywhere in the cavern. “This is the most powerful spell we could find from this school. Even we don’t know how powerful it is. Today we find out.”
“Fluff, What do we do?”
“I don’t know!”
There was a flash of green that seemed to go on forever. And then the Death claws slowly floated back down to their feet. They looked at each other as the light faded and saw dave’s bones break apart as he hit the ground.
You have received
The Blessing of life
All wounds and status effects healed
The soul of dave has been lain to rest
1926/1926HP
“Did he just heal us?”
“I think he did.”
There was screech from the PA system.
“What did you do to Dave?” Freibott roared.
“I didn’t do anything!” JanJon whimpered. “O’Banthony designed that set of bones with life magic.”
“O’Banthony?!?!?!”
“Well, when we got attacked with that spell it made whole armies fall I thought it would do the same to them.”
“You idiot, was it an army of Undead?”
“Yeah, but—”
“That’s why it wiped out the army. It’s life magic!!! That’s what life magic does to UNDEAD!!! Not only did you unkill Dave, but you healed them too.”
“I’m sorry.” O’banthony shrieked as if someone was murdering him.
“You will be.” Freibott hollered loudly. There was the sound of furniture moving, the thud of something heavy repeatedly hitting something else, and O’Banthony whining after every thud.
As the argument faded from the mic, Mayah could hear Kristen weeping and Heather consoling her.
Grax sidled over to Mayah. “This is getting uber weird.”
“Yeah…”
“Fluff, how come we didn’t get any notifications?” Margaret asked.
Mayah double checked her log. Shaz!!
“Looks like we’re not done yet."
"JanJon, get down there, bruh. They're listening." Alex said nonchalantly.
"How are they listening?" JanJon. Asked.
"The microphone is on, stupid." The beefy voice of Freibott informed him.
"Crap!" JanJon yelled, and there was a loud fumbling with the Mic, some feedback, and a sharp click.
From behind then the game show music started up again and the canned applause rolled out of the PA. JanJon ran towards the platform and stumbled as he leapt to clear the edge. He caught himself and instantly pulled himself back into his game show host persona. He checked his immovable hair and struck a pose.
“Now contestants are you ready to continue playing, WHEEL OF PERSONALITIES?!?!” JanJon Asked. The applause raised in volume as the applause sign flashed behind JanJon.
“Shaz!”