24.12.2015

22:43

Karol Pov

I'm runing away from him. I'm crying and runing while holding some money a key and red handmade scarf.Why i gave him my gun? I only wanted to scare him so i can rob him.Why did he gave me those.

*bang*

Wait no. No . No .what happend please oh god why?

I turn around to see figure laying in snow.

Coming closer i see blood slowly painting snow crimson.Near figure is laying gun which i had seconds ago.

The worst thing is face of this person : he's smiling.

Turning around i glance last time at him and run as fast as possible before police shows up.

He gave me chance, i can't waste it.

Going near town center i look throught tears at big xmas tree prepared by town and falling snow slowly covering it.

"It's really beautifull"

Kamil Pov

16:37

Kamil

6 years old

*smack*

"Aaaa dad please i won't do it anymore"

*smack*

"Remeber never talk to me like that again"

"Ye..yes father im sorry"

My earliest memory comes from that time due to *incident* that happend years from now.

Lying on floor with bruises is me.Yep when i remember it now it has been always like this.

Coming after school to home.Getting beaten up by father, mother ignores it.That day it wasn't that bad i got good grades so i didnt get kicked.

I also remember that day for the fact that next day there will be chrisstmass.

24.12.2003

Today was fun i didnt get beaten and got a teddy bear from my grandmother.

30.06.2004

Kamil

7 years old

Today father is travelling to england to work there for next 6 months. I'm happy i won't get beaten when he isn't home.

24.12.2004

I got an electric race car from grandmother today and pair of handmade socks.It's my first time being in church waiting for Christ to be born.

06.01.2005

Father is back.He didnt hit me yet. I heard him talking with mom that he is sorry for what he was doing and wont hit me again.

09.03.2005

Dad is back drunk again.He was scary and screaming that i am an eyesore and bad child but he didnt hit me.

24.12.2005

Christmass again i feel happy.I got a little cook game.

24.12.2006

I remember those christmass for visit of uncle.He came to celebrate them with us from Canada and brought loots of sweets.

24.12.2007

Christmass again.Dad was not drunk today and was together with mother and us to dinner at grandma house.

21.06.2009

Kamil

12 years old

Today im entering primary school.I'm scared but i want to learn and have job so i dont need to live with father.

13.11.2009

I don't like them.Why they laugh at me and kick me i didnt do anything to them.Please stop.

Hmm it was my first year at primary school.I remember i was bullied because of being little chubby and was stuttering.Also i was teachers favorite.Well i never had it easy.

24.12.2009

I got some money as present from grandma she told me to buy something nice for myself.

24.12.2011

Kamil

14 years old

23:11

I want to do it. I want to jump but im scared.

I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate my parents.

Why my dad has to be drunkard and mother is an gambler.

Why did she tried to kill herself.

Why my father hates me.

Why am i being bullied.

Why can't i do it.

*clonk*

"Hey brat what are you doing there"

Looking to my right i see Jan. He is homeless man who lives under this bridge.

"Get back please"

"Oy brat don't tell me you want to kill yourself"

"Why do you care you don't know anything"

Then i slipped.

In second i saw my whole life.

Im scared, but feel peace.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

*thud*

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaa*

Pain goes throught my body and my head hurts worst.

"Why am i still alive"

"Shut u..*cough cough* kid"

"Why why why why did u do this"

I rolled to my left only to see that i landed on him.

"Kid shut up, im dying"

*cough*

"Why did u save me"

"Because you have to live"

"But i hate my life"

"I don't car...e *cough* now you have to do this"

"I don't want"

"Okay you little shit let's have a deal you can die after you save someone on christmass day"

"I don..."

"I have in ass what you want you will do this and it's end, now go run back home before i close my eyes"

*sniff*

"Okay"

I picked up myself slowly and started going away.I stoped for second only to hear.

"Go away now"

Crying i ran back home and never told anyone what happend then.I also started to forget things more often which was probalby caused by fall and hitting my head.

Jan as i later learned was counted by police as another person who commited suicide that day.

24.12.2015

Kamil

18 years old

22:40

I'm tired. Those last years were shit. I have to watch for scumbags from school when i'm going back home after school to not get hit.Father passed away year ago. He was found frozen after falling asleep drunk on street.Mother didnt care about it. My two brothers live with my uncle now. Grandma paseed 3 years ago the last reminder of her is handmade red wool scarf.

I am going back home after work.In my pocket is my pay around 250$. I didnt finish school. I gave up. I found work at local post office by chance.Work is hard and i have to do it even on hollidays.Looking up i say quietly to myself :

"I want to sleep and never wake up" but when i do face of old man reminds me of what i promised him at least i think i did.

"Don't move"

Huh ?

"Turn around hands up"

Turning around i see boy 14 years old in blouse which doesnt seems too war, he is pointing a gun at me.

"Give me everything u have"

"Why would i do that ?"

"What ?"

"Why i have to give you my things ?"

"I got a gun"

"So ?"

"I will shoot if you dont"

Looking at his face i see he is scared and confused.He resembles me.

'I had enought for today'

Slowly i reach for his gun.Confused he takes step back but i caught him by the hand holding gun. Before he reacts i point it to my head and say

"Shoot now"

He starts trembling.

"Cmon you got a gun that means you are prepared to take life right ?"

*sigh*

Without problem i take gun from his hand and he starts to cry.

"Now and tell me why u wanted to rob me"

"I need money"

"For what"

"To go to school"

"Doesn't your parents pay for that ?"

"I don't have them i live at orphange"

"Oh hmm"

Reaching into my pocket i take out money and key to my house.

"Here take it"

Boy looks up at me

"Take it and go to 34 Currie St. check for house number 3.When u get inside under bed is box with more money.But you have do go now."

"Wait what why u are giving me this"

"You don't need to know"

"But i tried to rob you and..."

I pointed gun at him and said

"Go do it now"

He looks at me confused

"Go !!!"

He turns around and is starting to run

"Wait" i yell

"Take this it cold today, oh and what is your name ?"

I throw him scarf which i got from my grandma.

He caught it looked at me and said "Karol"

then turned around and run.

Taking last look i turn my attention to gun in my hand.

'So i can take a rest right ? I did what you told me'

Pointing gun at my head i slowly squeze trigger.

'I wonder what my life would be if i had normal parents'

Looking up i see falling snow

*bang*