Queen vs. The Art of Awkward Greetings

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Eydis flung open the door with a flourish, expecting a quaint hobbit hole of a dorm room. And she wasn't wrong. It was so beige, it practically apologised for existing. But her attention snagged on a figure perched precariously on the desk.

Not at the desk. On it. Like a particularly graceful marble sculpture someone misplaced. Crimson eyes, like polished rubies catching the lamplight, smouldered down at her. This was a beauty beyond mortal means. Maybe ‘celestial goddess’ wasn't such an overstatement for this roommate.

Should Eydis swallow her pride and ask for the girl’s hair care secret? Frankly, was that a mane or a cascading waterfall woven from moonlight? A queen simply couldn't be certain.

Dressed in what Eydis, in her infinite wisdom, categorised as ‘peasant sleeping attire’ (black camisole and shorts, the horror!), the girl somehow managed to pull it off. Ridiculous. Unease, perhaps, jealousy?! was unbecoming for a queen, of course. Eydis swiftly strangled the envious viper in her mind.

Astra, she presumed, blinked at her in surprise before her expression morphed into what could only be described as ‘resting murder face.’ Who knew such a vibrant eye colour could radiate such a chill? Eydis realised she'd been staring a tad too long.

"Greetings, co-habitator of this architectural abomination," Eydis declared, dramatically flinging the itchy green blazer onto the desk. A poorly sized white shirt, possibly pilfered from a lost and found, peeked out from underneath. Well, at least it wasn't beige.

Astra offered a curt nod that could only be described as royally dismissive.

‘Not much for conversation, are we?’ Eydis thought, shrugging. First things first: intel on the teenage Eydis. The phone was a good start, but a bath with rose petals sounded infinitely more appealing.

Fumbling with the strange device, Eydis sighed dramatically. Dragons? Easy. Teenage technology? Utterly humiliating.

"Do you know how to call someone with this contraption, Astra?"

Astra's breath hitched for a moment before she gave a humourless scoff. "You don't know how?" There was a huskiness to her voice that tugged at a buried memory somewhere in Eydis's foggy brain.

"Concussion," Eydis lied smoothly, seeing a subtle spark of anger in Astra's eyes.

The Queen unlocked the phone with a regal swipe (mostly on accident, but hey, it worked). She stared expectantly at her roommate, whose face had become a fascinating study in suppressed emotion. Finally, with a sigh, Astra snatched the phone and started poking at it with the enthusiasm of a sloth sorting ancient tomes.

"Hold on a sec," Eydis interjected, placing a hand over Astra's.

Her roommate flinched, a tiny detail that didn't escape Eydis's notice. Just how much trouble did Teenage Eydis get into? Love poetry? The mental image of herself sputtering out cringe-worthy sonnets was almost enough to make Eydis consider different sleeping arrangements.

"Show me how to do it. Call Natalia please," she said, trying to sound casual.

Astra complied, her crimson eyes flickering with something akin to... annoyance? They tried calling Natalia, but there was no answer.

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"Leave a message?" Astra said, her voice clipped.

"Sure, why not?”

Astra, bless her patient soul, nodded and opened the ‘app’ (whatever that was). The message history was... well, it looked like a tumbleweed had blown through a ghost town. "Need me to type it?"

Eydis's gaze darkened a touch. So, Teenage Eydis was a bit lonely. But then again, wasn't she, in a way? Pushing aside the unease, she murmured, "Bathe me, please. And don’t forget the rose petals.”

Astra looked like she'd swallowed a lemon whole. "Uh, what?"

"Can you message Natalia and ask her to, you know, help a girl out?" Eydis elaborated, picturing a luxurious bubble bath fit for a queen (or at least a former queen stuck in a teenager's body).

"Are you two... never mind," Astra growled, clearly reaching the end of her patience. She typed the message with the fury of a thousand suns.

"Not yet..." Eydis offered honestly, "but perhaps someday she'll see the error of her ways and accept my offer."

To be a proper handmaiden, that was. Eydis finished the sentence internally, apparently that term was outdated in this realm. A queen needed to learn to adapt, after all.

Astra's jaw clenched as she hit send on her phone and shoved it back at Eydis as if it were burning. The room fell silent, thick with tension.

Eydis winced. Maybe this roommate thing wasn't such a brilliant idea. Sharing a room with a girl who wrote a love poem to her had to be mortifying for Astra. Eydis would be mortified too, except... well, she was currently powerless, stuck in a body that complained after a brisk walk. Limited options, to say the least.

With a forced sigh, Eydis tried to salvage the situation. "About the poem, massive misunderstanding. Let's just pretend it never happened, shall we?"

Astra seemed to simmer further. "Misunderstanding? Which part? The unsolicited kiss or the serenade of undying love?"

Kiss? Eydis' eyebrow shot up in surprise. Her teenage self was...enthusiastic, to say the least. Letting herself be swept away by love, with a girl, no less? This was getting interesting.

"Ah," Eydis coughed, trying to regain her composure. "A momentary lapse in judgement fuelled by alcohol and poor life choices. Rest assured, I have absolutely no romantic interest in you," she stressed.

Astra's lips pressed into a thin line, her expression unreadable. Just then, a soft rap on the door interrupted them. Eydis threw open the door with a sigh of relief, revealing a flustered Natalia.

"Not. A. Word," Natalia huffed.

Eydis couldn't help but offer a charmingly villainous grin as she began collecting her bath essentials. She cast a sidelong glance at Astra, whose face now resembled a frozen waterfall.

Had she misspoken? The whole situation was as clear as mud. Love, it seemed, was a concept as foreign to her as this strange new world.

"Perhaps you could show me the wonders of this 'shower' you mentioned," Eydis murmured as she closed the door, "think of it as an early release from your royal scrubbing servitude."

Natalia resembled a malfunctioning teapot, steam practically shooting out of her ears as her blush deepened. "Y-you know how to bathe yourself? But the face wash earlier..."

Eydis winked playfully. “My dear Natalia, you wound me. Do you take me for someone who can't handle a little...cleansing ritual?" She punctuated the last word with an air quote. “Unless, of course, the purpose was to witness a certain someone's captivating display of...flustered cuteness."

Natalia's face morphed into a hilarious mix of amusement and suspicion. "So that face wash business was just your way of, what, testing the waters of my tolerance for... your weirdness?"

"Think of it as recon, friend. In my conquest simulations... games, I mean... a little audacity and strategic boundary-pushing were essential. Wouldn't you agree, Captain Clueless?"

Natalia threw her hands up, exasperation written all over her face. "Okay, hold on a second. Conquest simulations? And what's with the military jargon in a school setting? Second, I'm pretty sure I understood less than half of what you just spouted."

They reached the steaming communal showers. Eydis immediately scanned the structure, gears whirring in her mind. A handle, a spout — a contraption not unlike the basin from this afternoon. Fascinating. Here, water danced not to the will of a mage, but to the laws of physics.

Natalia cleared her throat, ready to dispense her shower wisdom. But before a word escaped her lips, Eydis breezed past with a flick of her wrist. Water roared to life. Natalia could only groan, her planned shower tutorial evaporating faster than the steam.

"Functional," Eydis declared. "But alas, this shower appears tragically devoid of rose petals. Such a missed opportunity, wouldn't you agree?"

Natalia, still reeling from the audacity, finally burst out laughing. "Maybe it wasn't a concussion, Eydis. Maybe you're just... possessed by a dramatic demon queen?"

Eydis' lips twitched. "Perhaps that's not entirely off the mark," she replied enigmatically as she slammed the shower curtain shut, leaving Natalia staring at a wall of floral plastic.

A sly grin spread across Eydis's face as she peeled off her clothes. A handmaiden might be out of the question, but a reluctant… aide to navigate this new world? Now that, Natalia seemed perfectly suited for.