Aria: K-SAF. KSV “Rainy Evening”. GS (Gunner Specialist) Aria.
Aria: Hm. Well.
Aria: Well, we have the most carefree duty! Congratulations to all GS!
Aria: Do not forget to bring something to watch, read, or play with while on duty. While the commodore is not looking.
Aria: Most of the time I'm sooooooo bored. The fun times are rare and short. It makes me so saaaaaaaaaad.
Aria: The type of fun depends on the commodore. Sometimes you can shoot everything at everything. Sometimes only special targets. Sometimes you can use only a special type of weapon. Whatever, you will get used to your commodore and, situations and the crew management in place.
Aria: MID-types don't have a lot of weapons.
Aria: First thing first. Torpedoes. Big and sort of slow thing. Very similar to a submarine torpedo, but much bigger. Has thrusters, engines, and sort of complex schematics: it can turn, steer, follow, etc. Hit means - boom to the death. Some shields can negate some damages. More or less easy to spot, more or less easy to shoot down.
Aria: The second. Rockets. Like torpedoes, but smaller, faster, and simpler. Hit means death, light damage, severe damage, no damage, depending on lots of things. Shields can help sometimes. Very hard to spot, impossible to shoot down.
Aria: The third. Railgun. Hard-fixed cannon almost as long as the entire roof of the vessel. Fires a projectile at almost lightspeed. Hopefully, one day, it will surpass the speed of light. Hopefully, one day, it will surpass the speed of time. The woman can wet dream, you know. The projectile goes almost strictly forward, as long we don't have some massive thing nearby. Hit means - death, light damage, or severe damage, depending on. Shields can help. The projectile is impossible to spot, but we need to answer one very important question: “will it hit at all?”. We need sort of a straight line between the shooter and the target. Plus, the gravitational forces will affect the projectile. Plus, the mathematics of speed, acceleration, and other complex things...
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Aria: The fourth. Flares. Not a weapon per se. A bunch of exploding balls. A stream of compressed air throws it sideways somewhere outside and behind. The timers inside the ball go off, and the ball explodes. We use them to disguise ourselves - the explosion creates a mess on the scanners.
Aria: Sometimes ago we had EMP, but it was not very effective or useful at all. It can overload the shields or burn out circuits, but you need to get very very close.
Aria: Also, sometimes ago we had lasers. I used it once, while the commodore was asleep, I carved out male genitalia on the surface of an asteroid with it. Why nobody is laughing? it was a very funny joke, and it was worth it. Despise the consequences.
Aria: The fifth. Some exotics. It's... complicated. Every vessel of a new class has some new unique weapon. The arcane and mad geniuses of Argentum Labs will create some horrific monstrosity and mount it on your vessel. In your spare time, you can read the instructions, and the rules of use, and wonder why it even exists. And beg commodore to write an official request to dismount that... thing.
Aria: The last. The Ultimatum. The Dead Hand. The Strategic Dildo. Each and every military vessel, starting from MID-types has one or two unguided torpedoes designed to destroy the planet. The. Entire. Planet.
Aria: You should never use it.
Aria: It is a deterrent weapon. Everyone knew that we have it, so, everyone will never fully commit to the full military campaign against us. The local skirmishes and small conflicts can happen, but not a full-blown galactic war.
Aria: We are carrying these things for the times when one or all our home planets are destroyed. Or something similar and terrible. And when it happens, we will use our triumph cards for revenge! As for what the Big Scary Thing can do... well, everyone from Argentum Labs exchanged their common sense for a creative license. It will render the planet uninhabited. In one way or another.
Aria: I will repeat myself. You can't just use the Big Scary Thing. I'm not saying that sometimes it's better to sacrifice yourself. It's always better to declassify one weird torpedo than lose a vessel and a crew. But these things are designed and tested for rendering inhabited planets into uninhabited ones. What it will do in other conditions is very uncertain and unclear. Better not to test it without a very good reason.
Aria: On a duty, things will happen. But! When the commodore orders you to use an Ultimatum - pause for a tick and think. Maybe, it's time for a chain of command restructure.
Aria: That's all folks! Next time there will be six times fewer of you, and we will play with things!