Chapter 4: An Odd Family

“Lai-Lai!”

I jolted awake as a missile of childish joy, and somehow simultaneous misery, landed on my chest, forcing the air from my lungs.

“Nawppy times owver silwy,” Dot sang, and pounded on me as I struggled to catch my breath. Where had she jumped from to gain that much momentum?

“I’m—up—I’m up!” I gasped. Without aura, I think my ribs would be broken.

“Joy-Joy says it’sz tiwme to get up, Up, UP!” she continued. I glanced at the clock. It was a little after six. I’d been asleep for a couple hours, as usual.

“Ok!” I groaned, “but why did you have to jump on me?”

“Jowker told me to,” she giggled at me innocently while sprawled across my stomach, melting my anger with her adorable chubby cheeks. I just wish she’d take responsibility for her misdeeds, instead of blaming them on Joker.

“Well tell your friend that it isn’t polite to jump on people. Especially while asleep! Now let me get up, you munchkin!”

That got her to quit her drumming on my chest and roll to the side, while still giggling maniacally. I contained my instinctual scowl.

Her excitement was understandable. This was the first starter selection ceremony she’d be attending, finally old enough to be trusted not to ruin the important event with a meltdown. I still had my doubts, but Joy had decided.

I pushed myself out of bed, as Dot began to treat it like a trampoline, and left for the bathroom. This was a level of hyperactive I hadn’t seen since she ate an entire box of Vanillite sandwitches.

After doing my business, I straightened out my clothes in the mirror, and made sure my hair wasn’t doing anything strange after my nap; I had to be presentable for the big show. Thankfully, a quick pat down with some water removed the minor bed head. I kept my hair short and simple for just this reason, though I still sometimes wished I had one of the ridiculous anime colors or styles, despite their impracticality.

Sadly, I had missed out on all of the crazy cartoon traits. In truth, I could be transported back to earth right now, and nobody would give me a second glance. Brown hair and eyes, with tanned skin. I’d probably be taken as middle eastern, or maybe indian. Ethnic groups weren’t a thing in this world. Differences in skin color were treated the same as variances in hair.

It was nice to live in a place where racial discrimination wasn’t a concern; it was hard to judge people by the way they looked when so much of it was dictated by their cultivation. Though this world did have its own prejudices.

I left the bathroom and headed out, grabbing Dot and untangling her from my bed sheets as I went; the gremlin had tied them around herself like a toga. I found Joy and Chancey in the communal dining area cooking dinner.

“I gowt him Joy-Joy,” Dot declared proudly as we entered the expansive room. I used to find it odd, eating our small family meals in a cafeteria designed to hold a hundred people, but it’s amazing what you can get used to after enough time.

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“Good job Dorthy,” The pink haired woman encouraged, “That was very helpful.”

“More like harmful,” I grumbled to myself—my ribs still ached—as I plopped her in her chair. I then went to the kitchen to help with the meal prep. Joy was pulling out all the stops tonight. I saw Tauros steaks, onigiri balls, and a vegetable stew. There were even some sitrus berries being put into a salad.

“You’re lucky I stopped by the store to get more of these,” Joy noticed my hungering leer.

“What?”

“I know you love sitrus berries, Laition, but please stop snacking on them at night. They’re quite expensive,” she chided.

“I didn’t eat them.” I defended myself.

“There was a full box in here yesterday, and now it's missing. Did it grow legs and walk away?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

“But-”

“I don’t want to argue. Not tonight. Just don’t do it again,” she went back to her salad prep.

“But it wasn’t me,” I grumbled to myself. Sure, I’d snatch the occasional berry, but not the whole box. I bet it was Chansey, the unrepentant glutton. He looked away at the accusatory look I gave him.

“Where’s Jon-Jon?” Dot called.

“Sorry Dot. Johnny could have gotten caught up in the celebration. He may miss dinner,” I replied, as I took over dicing some garlic from the traitorous pink blob; his stubby arms made such precise work a little difficult.

“As if I’d pass up a free meal,” the tall, gangly boy announced himself as he entered the cafeteria.

“Jon-Jon!” Dot screeched, hopped out of her chair, and ran towards him.

“Dottie-doo!” he matched her enthusiasm, hoisted her into the air, and began giving her big sloppy kisses on the cheek.

“Ewwww. Stop!” she squealed and tried to squirm from his grasp, “You smell icky,”

“No you smell icky.” he replied in a childish tone and began giving her a raspberry.

“Hey string bean,” I left the kitchen to greet him.

“Hey yourself, short stuff,” he put Dot down and gave me a hug. He smelled like alcohol of some form. I couldn’t tell what kind; fermented berries made strange concoctions that were unavailable in my previous life. It smelled a little tangy and there were dark patches on his overalls where he had spilled some.

I wasn’t surprised. It was tradition for the new adults to paint the town red after their aspirant tournament. Many would be drunk at the ceremony tonight, despite their responsibilities. The fact he was here and not completely trashed in the Drunkin Drowzee, was a minor miracle, though aura was probably helping with some of that.

“Sorry I wasted all your help,” he mumbled into my ear.

“Don’t worry about it,” I whispered back, “You got very unlucky in your matchup. There wasn’t much you could do.”

We pulled apart, and I gave him an encouraging smile. He really hadn’t had much of a chance. Sure, he didn’t follow the plan I’d helped him come up with, but that would have only slightly increased his odds. Type advantage was hard to overcome, especially at the early levels.

Apparently that was the correct response, since he noticeably relaxed. His smile became more genuine as tension was released from around his blue eyes.

“Back up, Jon-Jon! Up!” Dot demanded to get his attention again, holding her arms in the air.

“Oh fine you little Furret,” He lifted her back in the air and began spinning around as she giggled. It was cute watching the two play together. Johnny could embrace his inner child in a way I found difficult—I was now cumulatively forty two years old—leaving him as the fun older brother, and me the responsible disciplinarian.

I went back to helping in the kitchen, as the two goofballs played. Joy was watching on, giving a similarly fond smile as the one I surely had. It was good to have the gang all here, or it was until a loud screech nearly made me cut off a finger; thank you aura!

“YOU BIWG MEANIE! YOU MIWSED MRS. SPWRINKLES BIRWTHDAY!”

Ah… I had hoped she’d forgotten.

The rest of Dinner was filled with a very grumpy little girl, an apologetic teen trying to make amends, and four others trying to cover up their laughter.