"to truly understand yourself and act upon newly discovered values,

it is necessary to throw it all away.

ego, morality, indolence, regrets, self-doubt...

they have no place along the path of self-discovery."

-C.S

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He stared at the Pro Hero, now just a corpse. He had been so certain that the Hero Killer would target Iida first and foremost, to the point where he made no attempt to drag the Hero out of harm's way. Now because of his stupidity... Or was it apathy? He knew first hand that the righteous naivete that would have thrived in a younger soul had an odd penchant to shrivel up and die with the power of time. But still, he was a hero, was he not? That should have been enough to come to a definite conclusion, but he was being hunted by the Hero Killer.

Had he unconsciously deemed him as an unworthy cause? Why else would he have been able to protect Iida and not him? But that didn't make sense either; none of the crimes the Hero Killer killed for were worthy enough reasons - if there even was a worthy reason to kill in the first place. Maybe he was just too slow to make a difference. It had been an unexpected event. (What scared him the most was that he couldn't come to a definite conclusion. He truly could not decipher whether it had been out of his hands or something he concurred with.)

It was only when the traumatized kid (They were the same age. It was hard to remember when... It had been a long time since he had shown any visible reaction to blood), started to freak out a little that he escaped from his thoughts. It was, most likely, the blue-haired male's first time seeing the death of another, and he couldn't really fault him on his reaction. It was understandable, and his reaction had been much worse. Granted, he was the one doing the killing, but that didn't really matter all that much. What did matter was that he couldn't act like this.

Not when the was still perpetrator was still there, and wanted to skewer him on his katana.

"You're going to have to pull yourself together, okay? At this rate, it won't just be that Hero that dies; it will be you as well."

"B-But... He's dead because of-"

He had to put a stop to this spiral of self-hate. It wasn't good for anyone involved.

(He was well aware of the hypocrisy of that sentiment.)

"He's dead because of Stain. Not you. This whole situation is just... bad luck."

That didn't seem to get the kid out of it, but Deku had no more time to spare on comforting him.

Stain flew forward with almost inhuman speed. He instinctively responded with a lightning bolt, but Stain managed to avoid it with a smirk on his face. Deku's brows furrowed as he was forced to sacrifice quality for quantity as he drew closer and closer. Eventually, one managed to hit him, but it was so weak that it did little to no damage. It wasn't even good enough to do anything to his head; quite a lot of firepower was necessary to activate that. Stain was forced back to the other side of the alley, but he charged forward once more with not but a sting in his step.

It was a stalemate; he could dodge enough lightning to prevent significant damage from occurring, and Deku couldn't find an opportunity to end it. If this continued on, however, he would lose undoubtedly. Creating lightning bolts was incredibly burdensome on both his mind and his body. They burned through calories like an out of control forest fire. Despite the constant sprints and dodging maneuvers Stain had to do, he was losing his energy at a much faster rate. He was tempted to just draw his gun and finish him, but that wouldn't work either.

The moment he reached for the weapon hidden in his clothes, a knife went flying with unbelievable accuracy and knicked his hand. It wasn't just those times. For every burn or bruise he bequeathed to Stain, he got a cut of his own in turn. Luckily, the killer was too far away to take advantage of those moments, but it was still a danger on its own. He didn't have the time to wipe away the blood; if Stain got in close, he wouldn't even need to cut him, considering the excess of blood coating his person.

'I need to think. Just flinging lightning bolts isn't going to work, and using a gun isn't an option either...'

Iida didn't understand this situation. None of it made sense; he was being protected by a villain, a Pro Hero had just died, and despite it all, he couldn't help thinking about his brother. Brother... It was funny but before the word had brought him nothing but pride and happiness, whereas now all it was now... It was just all-encompassing rage and hurt. Tensei didn't deserve what had happened to him, that still hadn't changed, but Iida had let it go to his heart. His usual praiseworthy intelligence and rationality left to rot by the curb.

(Even after this all happened... He still couldn't let go of it. This rage deep within his heart, that controlled him like a marionette.)

Instead of helping the Pro Hero - like he should have done. He had more than enough speed. - he prioritized the one who (almost) killed his brother. In the process, the Pro Hero was actually killed. He didn't know what it was exactly, maybe a blind belief in the immortality of an actual hero, or perhaps he was just... selfish. Not deserving of being a hero. Even now, instead of protecting, he was being protected. The villain was liberally painted in wounds and blood, all because Iida was behind him. Everything was his fault. Everything-!

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He felt a flood of tears escape his eyes, lining his unmoving face and body with salt. His eyes puffed up and he felt a headache slowly encroach upon his head, but the tears wouldn't stop. He couldn't see anything beyond the blurry outlines of his hated foe and unexpected protector. He wanted to see, so badly, both the truth and the current situation. As if responding to his steadfast resolve, his arm raised itself upwards just enough to wipe the liquid from his eyes.

His eyes widened, not to see better, but out of sheer surprise.

He could move now-!

His eyes instantly narrowed, letting his hand drop to his side. He couldn't let the Hero Killer know that he had been freed quite yet. If he could take advantage of an opening, then he could... What did he really want to do? Did he still want revenge, or did he want something else? Unfortunately, Iida didn't have enough time to think as it often was with cases like this.

"No... Y-You can't run out of power now! Not after-!"

He could only watch helplessly as the villain that had been helping him the whole entire time ran out of power. The sparks at the end of his fingertips fizzled out uselessly into the air, and the shocked look on his face was proof enough that it wasn't intentional. The dark, disgusting grin on the Hero Killer's face filled Iida up with disgust, as he activated his boosters far beyond their normal output capacity.

He couldn't let another person die tonight-!

It felt like the whole world was trapped in a case of slow-motion gone wrong, as Iida watched the knife of the Hero Killer inch ever so closer to his savior's face. Of course, Deku never needed someone to save him. It probably wasn't even in that dictionary-like brain of his. His lips drew upwards in a terrifying crescent as the lightning sung beneath his veins, just begging to be let out into the world.

So he did. Lightning released itself in a wide arc, stretching almost the entirety of the alleyway. Supercharged with incredible amounts of electricity, it left his hand with an incredibly loud crackle. The light from the electricity lit up everything, allowing Deku to see Stain's face clearly for once in the fight, and something was wrong. It was just a feeling, but as he looked in his eyes and saw the sheer calmness within them, alarm bells started to ring.

He avoided the lightning bolt - that should have been unavoidable - with a complex, acrobatic movement that he didn't even know the name of, twisting his body like a screw. Then, in the next split second, as if he had springs for legs, he jumped up and over Deku, hand clamping down on his shoulder. He regained his momentum with a kick to the back, sailing forward to his now unprotected ward. The impact made it hard to breathe, but he still turned as fast as he could because it was not just him in this fight. It was also Iida.

'He saw through that-! Wait, Iida's still-... Not there?'

"You rely on your quirk too much. You're too inexperienced as well, brat. It's about time I put an end to this-..."

With legs burning a bright blue, Iida flung his leg, hard, right into Stain's stomach. As if it was karma, he instinctively bent over hacking at the impact he suffered. It was one far above a human's normal speed limitations. Deku forced his body to move, knowing this was the best opportunity they could possibly get. He raised his leg high up in the air, before letting it fall in an ax kick. It knocked Stain out cold.

"...He's unconscious. Would'ja look at that," He turned his head toward Iida. It wasn't a pretty picture. "You don't want to bloody your hands over this guy, trust me. Does your brother even want revenge? If you kill in his name despite that... You aren't listening, are you?"

His posture screamed restraint, with hands on the verge of turning white from clenching down too hard. An indecipherable gleam in his eyes shone with the sparkle of a bloody ruby. He was out for blood. The shaking of his body also told a different story at the same time, however.

'He can be persuaded. He's having doubts.'

"Look, if you kill him now, you'll be the same as him. You'll be a murderer. Besides, revenge isn't as great as it's cracked up to be."

Doubt swirled and crashed against the rage interlocked within his pupils.

"...How do you know that? My brother will never be able to work as a hero again, and it-... It's because of him! And I..."

He heaved a silent sigh. While not as severe, he had once had the same look in his eyes.

'I can't believe I'm saying this...'

"Are you curious why someone like me became a villain?" That caught his attention. "It was for revenge. I sold my soul to the devil and fed my morals to the pigs. As a result, I killed someone I never should have. Even now, it keeps me awake at night through sheer guilt and self-loathing. Killing someone... It changes you. I don't wish that fate on anyone. Think about it a little. If you truly want this fate for yourself."

The silence stretched out across the cramped alleyway, no-one moving a muscle or breathing a word. But like all things, it must be broken in the end.

"...Who did you kill? Was it the person you wanted revenge on?"

"No, it wasn't. But I did kill them because I wanted revenge. It's so ridiculous when I look back on it now. I should have known that it was unforgivable, but my brain was turned off. No, I convinced myself that it would be worth it. Like what you're trying to do now." Deku stepped closer, with a complicated look in his eyes. "No-one was there to tell me that it was going to ruin my life, so I'll be that someone now. You will regret this if you go through with it. You're a hero-wannabe, after all. It's in both your blood and your heart."

The tension faded from his body, and the murderous gleam fled his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry, as the world around him crashed down. The anger that had been sustaining him fell through, and his hatred for himself bubbled up.

"I-... I don't deserve to be a hero. H-He's dead because I didn't... I didn't help him, and I should have-!"

"It isn't anyone's fault expect Stain. You did not kill him, do you understand?"

They were so similar it almost made him sick. He could see himself in Iida, every bit of anger, every inch of self-loathing, and the whole hero situation only made it worse. The words came easy (they were the words he told himself, but couldn't believe). Yet, every word wretched a hole in his gut, like saying them out loud somehow made them more true. Like he couldn't hide from their meaning.

Their situations were different, yet one and the same regardless.

"You stopped yourself from making the worst mistake. There was no guarantee that you could have saved him in the first place, and it isn't your place to do so either. The one and only requirement in life is to take care of your own. Everything else is just extra, understand?"

In a whisper, not meant to be heard by anyone but himself, he spoke.

"You-... You aren't doubting the decision you made in the first place, pondering why you literally threw away your entire life for it. Why you killed someone for it. You aren't doubting why you continue to do it, just because that's what you've been doing this whole time-..."

It was a series of questions that had been plaguing him for what seemed like forever now. No matter how hard he thought, he could never find an answer.

Somehow, it was only fitting that part of the answer came from someone else's mouth.

"...Then give it up. It's not logical to continue doing something wrong just because you've invested a lot in it. You don't want to do it, right?"