Lucinda's Journal Entry 30th October 3118

I'm reallllly not feeling great. I was over the moon to find out that I am pregnant with darling Baldr's baby, but now I'm throwing up every morning and generally feeling sickly.

Lady, the old ragdoll catwoman, is lying next to me on my bottom bunk bed in the officer's quarters. She's making a rumbling sound in the back of her throat. That means she's purring, of course. She presses her cold, wet nose against my cheek. "Don't worry, my love. I'm here."

I'm reading a book on knitting. Alice may scoff, but I want to be able to knit bootees and baby toys like my great grandmother could. Who says knitting is obsolete?

Kitty the spotted cat comes stalking in mewling. "Here, mousie mousie! I've got cheese for you. I just wanna be your friend!" I think Kitty's some kind of hybrid savannah cat-girl. She's wearing a little silk dress, but she's brandishing a wooden club.

"Weird, how all the lab mice and their descendants are gone," I say.

Turns out the lab mice I released into the Rosasphere's southern hemisphere did breed. Early on, the mutating cats ate them and they were their main source of nutrition.

"The ecosystem did fail. The poor things had nothing left to eat," says Lady. "Then the other cats took nearly all of the mice on their shuttle when they left." She slips her furry arm in mine. "I don't think I could kill a mouse. I did catch one once, but I just had to let it go. Kitty did all the hunting for both of us in the ruins until you got us out."

"You're lucky I share," says Kitty, glaring at her with bright, green eyes. She gives a little hiss indicative of disgust. "I think all the mice are really dead now."

Alice comes gliding in, her ghostly form making no footfalls. "Good thing too. We don't need vermin like that on board. Especially not with a baby coming along." She sits on the edge of the bed and puts a transparent hand on my belly. "And how is the little gingerbread baby cooking today?"

I give her a faint smile. "I can't wait 'til he comes out and I actually get to hold him."

Actually, how do I know my baby is a he? I guess I just hope I'm having a boy, 'cos then he'll remind me of Baldr. My lost love…

Kitty yowls and drops her club with a clatter. "Look at me! Focus on me!"

"Shut up, you stupid, festering hairball!" Alice snaps at her. Kitty hisses back, her hackles rising.

"Girls… please…let's try to get along," I urge.

"Remember my motto, Kitty," murmurs Lady. "Always be friendly."

Kitty pouts. "It's a stupid motto." Then she catches a glimpse of her own reflection in the mirror and gasps. "Who is that amazing, gorgeous and stunning creature?"

At that moment, the monitor flickers and the ghostly green face of Neb, the ship's computer swims into focus.

"Awooga. Awooga. I've an announcement," she declares, then falls silent.

"What announcement? Spit it out," says Alice.

"A distress signal," says Neb. "Probably nothing…"

"Planets… why didn't you just say so immediately? There could be lives in danger." I scramble off the bed and slip into my black top and jeans and then Alice and I hurry to the communications room.

"Getting contact," says Neb from the monitor.

"Punch it up," orders Alice.

A picture swims into focus. It's a green female face, like Neb's but bald… and solid. It looks like she's made of green rubber. "Thank the stars!" Her voice is high-pitched and sounds quite posh. "I'm Nan, the service android on board the star-ship Bolide IV. We've crashed. Most of the crew are dead, but my two boys… sorry, I mean two male officers are injured, but stable.  Here are their medical details." A picture appears of a super-cute guy with text giving his details. This makes Alice sit up and take note. It's like her eyes are starting out of her head! This guy is gorgeous, there's no doubt about that. He has a sculpted jaw, wavy, toffee coloured hair, wide and dreamy hazel eyes and a freckled face. His smile is really warm. I find myself wanting to look more. His name is Gabriel. Kitty slinks in at this point and gazes at the screen. How much human DNA have the retro-viroids put in the cats over a thousand years? Is she human enough to appreciate an attractive guy?

Then there is a tough looking dude, muscular, with close cropped blond hair. His name is Raphael. I like these names.

Stolen novel; please report.

"Tell them we're coming aboard," declares Alice. "Great Galaxy, we'll rescue these strapping lads, or my names not Admiral Alice, Amazing Adventuress!"

"Thank you, Admiral," says Nan the android, giving a little bow. The monitor screen goes blank.

I turn to Alice. "Admiral… What…? Admiral!"

Alice sticks her tongue out at me. "Well what should I say? I'm the girl who used to keep the vending machine stocked up on toffee crisp bars. Actually we know sod all about space travel or rescue missions, but if you want a choc bar, we're your girls. That'll fill them with hope, won't it?"

I sigh. "How far, Neb?"

"Mm. 'Bout 24 hours."

"What? 24 hours?" screams Kitty. "I've gotta get ready! All six of my nipples are tingling."

She bolts through the door.

I shake my head. "Silly cat. We're on a mission of mercy. We're taking them urgently needed medical supplies. We are definitely not on the pull!"

Alice raises her eyebrows at me.

Lucinda's Journal Entry 31st October 3118

Oh planets, there's not enough time to get ready. I'm in the bathroom trying to fix my hair, but I'm overtaken by a bout of nausea and have to puke in the toilet. Great. Now my breath stinks heavily of vomit. First human contact I've had in a thousand years (poor Alice is just a computer simulation pf Alice, remember?) and it's with two handsome hunks and my breath will smell awful…

I peer into the mirror. After all that puking, I look really pale, my freckles really showing. I look sickly, that's how I look. Great. Ah well, the guys will love me for rescuing them. I'll take them into my care and nurse then back to health. Will they want me to read to them while I nurse them? I hope so.

I apply some lipstick and mascara and a touch of rouge to my cheeks. Later, I get into the prettiest dress store on the Rosasphere. Well, not the prettiest, pink would be awful with my hair, but there's this really nice periwinkle blue dress…

Alice comes gliding into the room. Neb has agreed to deck her out in a lady Admiral's outfit, it seems.

Alice sneers at me. "No, we're not on the pull, are we Luce? Hypocrite."

I glare at her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You've pinched that dress, which is better than anything you could have afforded. You're on the pull, you liar."

Ouch. I hate being called a liar.

"You can talk. You're carrying on with the lie that you're an admiral. The girl who put chocolate bars in the vending machine!"

"I knew it would start. The put downs," says Alice, shaking her head.

"Sorry, what?"

"You want to put me down to make yourself look good in front of the hot guys. I suppose you'll taunt me for being dead."

That's low. As if I'd ever do that. She must know me better than this.

"Please calm down, Alice. I'm not going to put you down."

"Then build me up. Mention that I died and I was incredibly brave about it."

"Yes. You were." I beckon to show that we should kiss and make up – what we normally do after we've quarrelled. She kisses me on the cheek. I can't feel anything of course, cos she's made entirely of light.

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00O00

The Rosapshere's in orbit over the free floating dwarf planet where the Bolide IV crashed. I'm monitoring things from the control panel. The Bolide IV is a huge, long, cylindrical craft, stuck in the planetoid's icy surface.

"Watch out! The pretty Kitty has arrived." It's Kitty. She comes bounding into the comms room dressed in a load of tacky imitation jewellery. "Did ya ever seen anything so great? Well, did ya?" she glares round at us.

"Sure, Kitty," I tell her. I'd better not say that she has the taste and self-control of a deranged magpie.

Lady is dozing on a chair, but now she jerks awake. "We're gonna make more friends, right?"

"Of course." I scratch behind her ear.

She purrs and nuzzles my cheek. "Love you."

The monitor flickers and the ghostly, green face of Neb appears. Oh planets… she's made it look like she has bright red lipstick on. Red lipstick looks really garish on a green face.

Alice glides in and smirks at Neb's painted face. "What are you doing, you silly old crock? You really think you stand a chance with any handsome or hunky young man?"

Neb glares at her. "Well who wanted me to simulate shoving a whole box of tissues into her who-does-she-think-she's-kidding bra?"

Neb has to make all Alice's clothes, because Alice is a computer simulation.

I hold up my hands. "Stop bickering! We want to carry out this rescue professionally." I snap louder than I want to. My own breasts are feeling really sore right now, and I think I have to go and throw up again.

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00O00

Ready to dock now.

"The Bolide's a 24th Century craft, apparently," says Neb. "But connecting with the airlock shouldn't be difficult."

"If I see a mirror, you've gotta help me get away," says Kitty, glaring at me. "Got it? I'm too beautiful to resist."

I stroke her spotted head. "Of course."

The airlock doors slide open and Nan is here to meet us, the bright, steady lighting of the Bolide IV shining off her bald, green head. She's dressed in tight fitting black rubber. "Come in, come in. How lovely to meet you all."

Alice glides over the threshold and around Nan. Nan bows to her. "Admiral."

"What a delightful craft this is. Reminds me of my first command." Alice really means to keep up this Admiral nonsense.

"A pleasure to meet you too Miss," says Nan, bowing her head to me. Then she peers up at me with beady black eyes. "You look a little pale, can I help?"

Great. Even an android can see that I look sickly. "No … thanks anyway… um… I'm going to have a baby," I tell her, putting a hand to my belly.

"Ooh congratulations, Miss," squeals Nan. "And might I add, your husband is a very lucky man."

Alice and I look at each other. Alice shrugs.

Nan leads us down the corridor. As the cats pass a mirror, Kitty stops dead, her green eyes wide at the sight of her reflection. "Ohhh… you're so purrrfect."

"Come on, puss," I tell her.

"You gonna have to help," says Kitty. "I can't resist that." She points at her reflection.

I pick her up and carry her all the way down that corridor.

"My boys are so eager to meet you all," says Nan. This way.

She leads Alice and I into a little parlour off the main corridor. The cats are lagging behind again.

Alice and I both gasp. Propped up on chairs around a small table are two skeletons in uniforms…!

"These are my boys. My precious angels," says Nan, grinning at us, a blank, crazy gleam in her eye…