Forth Chapter: Cultivating Serenity, Cultivated Dread.

"Self-pity could often be the greatest of sins, corrupting, twisting and destroying the authentic real world view... It could cast a long ominous shadow into the future of even the brightest of stars." A few wise words of sect elder Galileo, aged three hundred and five, Sermon of the Mind.

Xing did not allow himself to wallow in self-pity, he had just been burnt by the flames of arrogance and could not allow himself to freeze deep inside the icy, inner cycle of self-made hells, melancholy.

Memories of the many sermons given to previous occupant Xing bubbled up, to the previous owner of the body they were simple words which he diligently heard, but never truly listened to.

Xing might have never heard them himself, but listened perfectly well.

Taking risks was a part of cultivation. The act is, of and by itself, a risk taken to conform to a certain mindset, it is better to take the reins of fate in your own hands and crush the chariot you are riding, dead, than to be led by another till he himself will crush.

To prolong one's life and call upon strength beyond what one could conjure himself, cultivation was the road which the chariot had to ride on, different paths will lead to different fates, different paths will show different sights which in turn steel the rider in different ways, to take to the road yourself was to command change in yourself, to grow and see the world, even if that world and that growth will lead to your demise.

Yet cultivation cast the soul into turmoil, rapid change, rise in strength and the wind of time blowing past you, the soul will surely face tribulation that might destroy it, ending existence forever, or reforming it into a new stronger form.

There was no great lord, clan leader or sect patriarch that could hold position long, most stepped down or were eradicated sooner or later, that is because while the road is full of wanders, it is arduous, others will likely try to steal the progress you have made even from afar.

Only carrying a greater force than your allies and underlings, and making your enemies feel safe all the way to the grave, could one live in such a world and succeed.

There was not one who survived forever, as one could never match the many, yet there were many names which survived till the end of time, and ten million souls forgotten could not compare.

Xing lamented the happenings that had brought about that crazed and blood infatuated state he experienced, clearly it was due to Devourer's affecting him, though he had a feeling it was his own personality deficit that allowed such a thing to happen… Arrogance, it has always been his bane, be it in card games or role playing owns, he often lucked out as his impatience filled with his arrogance emerged.

Integrating with an unknown spirit was a reckless and dangerous act, he had known that, yet instead of relying on the knowledge of his new world he did as the fantasies of his old world bid.

And what started it all? Simple spite at mere insects, he had not been long in this new world, nor seen anything of note, yet had already began to botch his whole future.

Integrating a spirit into his most inner sanctum of being, his own body, doing so without truly understanding the rite of binding and the deeper meaning of such a connection, he had brought about immense danger upon himself. Something had to deal with from now on.

Promising to own up and change thing for the better Xing started to analyze his integrated spirit based on what little knowledge he had.

Devourer, an arachnid of unknown lineage.

Carried the mixed blood of many spider species, who most likely were all brought over to the area due to outside influence.

The spider series had been in relative seclusion and did not show massive popularity outside, that was easily gauged from the fact that no major known senior had a spider as an integrated spirit, at least not a known one, meaning the mainstream view did not put much trust in them, they were in low demand and as per those conditions, under much less supervision, unknown variations that curried over the generations without notice were possible.

Devourer had ability to affect the psychological state of other beings through blood lust, whether imposed upon as a form of pressure or induced...

Since it was a spider it comes to reason it's its venom of choice.

A hypothesis was hammered out in Xing's mind, stating that although he was infected with the fast acting venom of Devourer and was cast into a murderous killing spree, it was not by chance, in fact it was intentional.

All to what end?

It was seen by him that the arachnid was trying to feed on his soul, nibbling at it.

Furthermore it looked quite odd as to how fond it had been of consuming the spirit of that little horned boar that provirus laid dormant inside him, what was of little sense is the fact that the lower leveled arachnid had the upper hand on the stronger horned boar, a mystery to be uncovered.

Factoring all the intel together lead Xing to a conclusion:

Devourer was indeed then, a creature which fed on soul matter rather than only on flesh, and to do that it used its venom to numb the notice of its prey, meaning it needed it to either defeated or unknowing.

Such a creature is exceedingly troublesome to raise, even more so to command and control, with its affinity to the mind and the soul it has a high intelligence and could resist orders to some degree, to the point it could attack from within.

Even its advantages were not so grand. In front of an equally strong opponent strictly in the terms of energy and regardless of cultivation technique, he could not possibly use that sort of technique head on, doing that he will surely not prevail, the reason was quite simple.

Being unable to cut in trough the defenses of an aware and well protected enemy will render the attack void.

Xing felt between a rock and a hard place, arrogance whispered in his ear, urging him to destroy that despicable creature which lays bound inside himself, to cast it aside and attain a different beast, one representing strength and not cowardice.

"It would take too long" he dismissed the notion, knowing that in the least, he would have to defeat the lord of the area to gain a silver of a chance for survival.

Without an equally strong beast to the lord under his command, or one as mysterious as Devourer, he could not possibly win.

Without the lord his chances of breaking through the barrier were slim, he will then be at the mercy of those who threw him into the wasteland.

Xing was already treated to the cold, harsh truth, he had decided before on a couple goals to accomplish, yet three days went by and he already understood how hard to attain his wants were.

To reach the forth level in cultivation of "Hallowed Husk"? He was honestly approaching the late vestige of the middle part of third stage that is for sure, encroaching on the border to the later and peak stages even.

Yet from that distance to the very peak of the level, he could already sense the fearsome bottleneck between the third and fourth level, and as he approached closer bit by bit he could feel surer and surer it is a mighty wall he will not pass easily.

To defeat the lord of the wasteland? The strongest beast that made its home in the area? Hubris incarnate.

A day prior, after scouting deeper into the forests of the wasteland, he had found hordes of beasts emanating pressure greater than the Frost lion and Crimson ox combined, it seems every member of the horde singularly held the strength of a three star beast at the least.

And then there was the image of a pile of bones of those same beasts, deeper inside the forest.

He had found the skeletons left after a hefty meal... a whole horde at least twenty strong of normal three star beasts, extinct.

What could have done that? Only the lord of the wasteland, probably.

As for integrating with that monster? Xing did not dare to breathe even a word of it to himself, much less attempt it, and so he was battling depression.

With that, all of his plans born out of arrogance crumbled into dust.

"Plans had to be often changed, decisions made with snap judgement, progress had to be done in a calculated manner and strength had to be gauged accurately, else, you perish" he remembered the words, again agreeing with elder Galileo.

Regardless of the teachings of his previous sect elder, in the world of cultivation, there was always one sentence past Xing found shared by all under the sky, and present Xing agreed wholeheartedly.

"Beware of yourself for you might bite off more than you can chew, intending to host a wedding with wine yet ending up hosted to with piss as you lay in the coffin of your own making" pretty heavy stuff.

Xing had his share of reckless abandonment, he will not breed any new beast to call upon the door of misfortune, he will not take chances if not pressed… regardless of how unwilling he was previously to live, this new life albeit filled with endless daggers, excited him.

With cultivating his realm of power to a greater strength not being a viable option to pour most of his focus into, and challenging the ruler being a clear cut suicide, he had little options, yet still, some.

Invisible Force was one such option, being a cultivation technique which is the basics of the basics, wielding attribute-less energy was the easiest form and could be done with or without a weapon.

It's underlying flaw? It was weak.

"How could simplicity ever rival the polish of hard work" oddly he remembered Galileo saying this sentence to him when the two were the only ones present, his voice filled with sarcasm.

The eluding sharpness of sword cultivation technique, the beautiful complexity of structuring cultivation techniques, as well as the pureness of elemental cultivation techniques, in front of the allure of such techniques the sneakiness of a basic cultivation technique could not hold a candle.

Xing knew that if an elemental cultivator of ice techniques would integrate with a beast such as the frost lion for instance, rather than a normal beast, his power will soar ten folds.

What Invisible force offered was not a suppression of the unique factors of the energy wavelengths beasts offered, but an attempt to disregard them, diminishing the affect instead of having an intensifying affect.

In order to fix such a deficit Xing knew he had to take a certain amount of risk to reap rewards. He began to cultivate.

Reconstructing a cultivation technique required knowledge, skill, and time, while Xing lacked the first two conditions, he was not willing to offer up even the third.

The time Xing offered up was exactly five days, if unable to press the cultivation technique further, he would forsake it.

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Five days passed, Xing did not achieve his goal, and so he gave up trying.

During those five days, again he felt pressed between a rock and a hard place, thoughts about the people who dropped him off in the wasteland returning to drop off others... Only to find him out amongst the living and kill him out of inconvenience... Those thoughts constantly agitated him, he really did not want to die anymore.

"Unavoidable" called Xing, laughing with his head up to the sky.

"Unavoidable" he called again, this time his face showing sorrow.

"Unavoidable" he called finally, lowering his head, his tone cold and plain.

"It seems, the cycle of reincarnation is chaotic, not nearly as rewarding and plentiful as described in my past life, those who reincarnate into a different world with their thoughts intact do not get any special power... nor destiny, nor are they prodigies, we are left to rot." Bitterly he smiled.

Xing rose up, his body boiling with energy and his mentality steeled, if he could not have the heavens, nor the sun, or even the moon, if he could have no grand things...

Xing lowered his sight at a rock laying on the ground, picking it up.

Looking at the stone he felt serine.

If he could not have even the moon, he will take a stone, and make it into the heavens.

"I am the stone" declared Xing.

"I am the heavens" Xing said, crushing the stone in his hand.

Amongst the turmoil he felt within his heart, he oppned his mouth and words sprung out, emotion filled to match the tears going down his cheeks, enlightenment came this time in the form of a poem out of his mouth.

"Serenity, a high hanging fruit.

Yet one shouldn't deprive oneself of it even as it lays in the heavens themselves.

What is it that drives each and every one of us to torment ourselves so?

The will to strive for goodness, self-goodness. It sustains us.

It is the personification hope, hope to see our futile endeavors do matter in the scheme of things, we are not just a drop in the storm, taken.

Let go of your worries, disallow the theory of chaos to rule your-self.

Calmness is the goodness you can achieve trough neutrality.

Serenity… Even if it lays in the vaults of heavens, let us rend the heavens themselves for our goodness"

Once he was done with the poem he felt elevated, while not fully understanding the meaning behind his words, he could slightly feel the two opposite views that the duality in it represented.

Despite trying to temper his cultivation technique, he only managed to temper himself, yet still reaping rewards from it.

Emotions were then pushed aside and a cold calculative persona fell on Xing.

Xing calculated the amount of latent energy he had, coming up with the same amount he has since birth, his energy never accumulated past what he was born with, despite cultivating.

Such a thing was a given, what cultivators cultivated was the body, through their latent energy, and the quality of their energy, through the technique. There was no way to increase the amount of latent energy.

The quality represented the strength of a single unit of energy, the quantity represented the amount available, and the spirit represented the interpretation of it.

There were three major kinds of cultivators, Xing remembered, those with little latent energy, those with an average amount, and those with a lot of latent energy, not one type was strictly stronger than the other.

Those who had little energy had little problem cultivating the quality of their energy, as they didn't have a lot, yet faced great difficulties when it came to cultivating the body, something that required to circulate a certain amount of energy along the body, the more you had the less cycles had to be done.

Those who had abundant energy had little problem cultivating their body to a higher realm, which in turn meant they could unleash outwards outside their body more of it, yet great difficulty cultivating the quality of their energy as they had much of it.

And so bottlenecks appeared.

Too little energy meant you reached the quality threshold to rise up a level, yet the body was not ready yet, not yet tempered enough to contain the future rise in quality.   

Too much energy meant your body reached the threshold to rise up, yet the quality of the energy didn't own up to the real demand, meaning that the body could handle a greater force in it only to end up short.

Xing was more of the balanced type, which meant that while his progress was slower, he shouldn't face bottlenecks, and yet he felt one up ahead, he was eager to arrive at it to find out what it was.

Deciding to go on a hunt to cultivate himself through battle, and gain the meat of beasts which could help him regenerate his energy faster, he existed the cave.

His steps were heavy, he did not understand why.

At the mouth of the cave appeared in front of Xing a horde, fifty strong, all ox beasts, with two of them being the level two Crimson ox. His eyes bulged and he cringed, how did they find him?

Ten bat winged ox suddenly swooped down at him from above without warning, a surprise attack he was not ready for.

His membrane flared up and he pulsed it outwards, sending a ripple filled with killing intent, the flying ox fell to the ground struck with horror and paralyzed as if electrocuted.

Xing's membrane visible diminished around him, it was by luck the enemies relied on quantity rather than quality as his killing intent was best on that type.

A charge led by a Crimson Ox initiated, heading his way, twenty strong.

Xing drew back more deeply into the cave, retreating to a narrower path.

The twenty strong horde crammed into the passage, allowing only two to pass at a time.

Xing picked them off when he could, sending other shocking hit after the other to the temples of the nearer beasts, yet needing to quickly draw back for fear of being head butted by a nearby ox, getting speared with their long sharp horns was not something he wanted to try again.

By the time he arrived at the end of the passage and into the open space of the cave itself, he already managed to pick off eleven, though practically exhausted. Such a tight battle was taxing without the drug fueled like madness of killing intent overdose.

Nine regular oxen and one Crimson one remained, Xing felt he had to compromise.

Jumping ahead on the bodies of his enemies and past the corpses that he felled, he tried to escape outwards, trying to break out of the cave while bearing the risk of being flanked from both sides.

He ran at top speed and almost arrived at the mouth of the cave, yet a Crimson Ox appeared in front of him blocking his way, beyond him he could see a few flying ox which recuperated... with having to deal with both a strong adversely he could not crush with a big attack due to energy consumption, and the numbers of his opponents being against him… the aerial support practically boxed him into oblivion... He could not make it out.

Xing made a snap judgment and took a huge risk, he formed a force orb and smashed, not at the Crimson one in his front, yet at the wall at his side. Causing a cave in.

Once the stone fell, he moved back, in such a tight spot the hardly fitting Crimson Ox could not back away fast enough, he was crushed dead.

Xing turned back, looking at the ten opponents left for him to face, he charged at them sending fists and palm strikes, mixing ones infused with energy and ones not infused in order to feint and catch his opponents by surprise.

With only a silver of his strength left, the remaining one Crimson Ox appeared in his sights.

A quick check up left Xing with the knowledge he had about a fifteenth of his energy left, not enough for even a single force orb, he cursed his inefficient cultivation technique, after those five days he was already drained to start with, even with trying to save up, his techniques were already too costly due to the inefficient cultivation technique.

Xing condensed a single pseudo force orb, half the normal size he usually generated. Leaving him with a hundredth of his energy left, enough to only fight with his body as a human apart from the orb.

The Crimson one charged at him, not leaving him much time, hastily he condensed the orb as much as he could.

The Ox arrived and Xing punched out, the orb caged inside his fist went straight through the teeth of the beast and into its mouth, still packed inside the fist, letting the ox hammer him into the rabble behind him.

He caught up blood, yet still smiled.

"Stupid beast, be glad I'm willing to offer you something tasty to eat." He murmured with a certain weakness.

The force orb inside Xing's fist condensed further, then could not take any further force applied on it and exploded mightily, taking with it Xing's arm and devastating a huge chunk of the innards of the Ox.

The Crimson one chocked on the explosion once, gaping, then vomited a huge mouthful of blood at Xing, dead.

Everything blackened for a moment for Xing, then his vision reddened as blood vessels in his eyes broke due to backlash and stress.

Devourer woke up and started to resist its restraints again... In such a dire state, Xing simply lost consciousness.