“What do you mean by that exactly?”

The woman stood there, clearly looking for an answer she was not prepared to give. I had to grapple with myself as well. I wanted to save my mother. To do whatever needed to be done to get her back in my life. She had protected me and raised me inspite of the constant hassle from the church. Yet I had never held a weapon before. I had no interest in it either, odds are I would just get in the way of people who could do more good. These people were offering their services to do good, sure, but I had no way to pay. And again the issue of these being mostly diplomats from another nation brought about a lot more complications than it was worth. On top of all that, it was likely to get them hurt or even worse, and I didn’t want to bring more harm to people who had only really shown me kindness.

I pulled my arm away from the hold Angie had on it, and again made my way to the door. I was not storming out in anger this time. I just couldn’t get myself caught up in these people’s games.

“Stop, please. I promise you. I need you there with us when we do this. I can’t explain why, it doesn’t even really make sense to me. But I know you will be necessary.” Turning back, I met her eyes once more. They were full of sincerity. I had already agreed to trust these people. Clearly this was her asking me to trust her.

“I can’t bring myself to pull you further into this. This isn’t about what I want.” It never is really, when any change in life could just be another plot by the Western God to do their bidding. “It’s far too dangerous with too many risks. Politically or otherwise. I am going to find work and help the people here as much as I can, to hopefully pay forward what you have done for me.”

As I strode out of the room again, I couldn’t help but look back at the group. “I understand you have good intentions and a desire to help. I just can’t be a damsel in distress while you fight some thugs, hoping for a miracle to happen. For it all to turn out alright.”

“What if we paid you? You could be the resident healer of the group, with your potions obviously.”

“I have recorded a few healing spells, though I must admit, your healing potions are much more potent than what I have. If you traveled with us I could better study how they are made and possibly implement them into my spellcasting.” As she spoke, the merrow seemed to jump at a realization only she had, and when she was done she began writing away. Almost as if we were no longer present again. “We may even be able to cu…” She began mumbling as she wrote, working through whatever was going through her mind.

“I have no intention to get into any fights. I don’t know how to even hold a sword, let alone how to swing it!”

“You won’t have to. Like I said, we need to do this quietly. As little fighting as possible.”

“Then what need of a healer do you have?”

“Little doesn’t exactly mean none, shortstack.” The Matrin’s attempt at a joke fell quite short. I had been called that a few too many times to find it pleasant. He must have noticed that I wasn’t smiling, since his grin fell from his face, rather slowly at that.

“Then a little fighting would be better healed by the merrow there.” I had intended to use her name, but I realized I forgot the other three’s names. I had a hard time remembering most names, and now that was biting me.

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“Maud is a lovely healer, but she obviously cannot do that during combat while also supporting us. Your potions provide a solution that frees her up.” I was undecided if I should learn her name properly this time. I still hoped to be rid of them soon.

“Why don’t I just make you some now and then you can leave with them. And if you need more you could always buy some along the way.”

“I would advise that you just give up. No matter what you say, Angie won’t stop until you agree to come along.” The orc spoke up. Looking at them all, I realized he was right. Maud was writing away, no longer paying mind to the conversation, as if she knew how it would go. The Matrin’s sly smile was back in full force, having already won. And Angie sat there, steely determination marking her whole being. She was putting her all into this, to convince me to throw my life away on the off chance to save the last person who really mattered to me. Not like I really had any other option at this point.

“Fine, my life might as well be forfeit anyway. Can’t be any worse than waiting around here until the clerics show up again to drag me off to learn the prayers.” I can just indulge her. Worst case scenario we run as soon as she realizes how insane this is. “But I must ask. Why are you all so keen on coming?”

The orc was the first to respond. “Of course I’m coming. I have a duty to protect this woman no matter where she chooses to go.”

“But you were against it just some time ago?”

“My feelings on the matter rarely sway her when it comes to these kinds of decisions. Now I simply point out the obvious consequences so she knows what she’s getting into.” He looked as stoic as he always did.

Maud spoke without raising her eyes yet again. “Field research is very important when it comes to making sense of something. Angie provides me with the best possible opportunities for such an endeavor, and I would be a fool to pass it up.”

“Even if it is dangerous and life threatening?”

“My research always is. At least like this the possible collateral may be some trees and unscrupulous citizens. Rather than a lab partner or books.” She clearly said the last word with added emphasis. Like it was the worst possible thing to do, damaging books.

The Matrin’s response left me the most aghast. “It’s fun.”

“You must be mad.”

The smile never left his face as he explained “Not mad, but I have my own reasons for following along with this. I don’t particularly care for what these people do. Is it really so wrong to want to stop them?”

Angie spoke up. “Of course, I have to help those that are in need too, no matter what form that help takes.”

“But don’t you have diplomatic business to take care of? I figured you would be busy with that, or would head home swiftly afterwards.”

“I just recently finished my business here in the capitol, and am not expected back anytime soon.”

“Ok, but isn’t it dangerous to go marching into unknown territory, where you know for a fact that bandits reside and would be more than willing to kill you, or worse?”

“It is dangerous for me to get up every morning. It is dangerous for me to wear the mark of a diplomat. Even more so from a foreign nation than the one I am in, where I can not expect the same level of protection from the regional aristocracy. I am no fool, Ginger. I understand there is danger. But there is more danger for the people already caught by them. There are people suffering while others do nothing about it. I could not live with myself if I did nothing about this injustice.” Her sudden rise in intensity caught me off guard. She had made her statement so matter of fact, it left me little room to question it.

They all had reasons for doing this, and I couldn’t exactly see fault in most of them. I still did not feel right about following along with them, but I had already made my choice.