After days of travelling through valleys, scaling mountains, and crossing rivers, our lead characters are... bored out of their minds! Delta, who has long given up on trying to make conversation with Vina (seriously, she deserves the name 'Dark Lord'), has taken to counting rocks - a jaggged rock is worth one point, and a round rock is worth five. His total: 23,096! Meanwhile, Vina has given up on forming elaborate insults for her dim-witted companion, and has instead regressed to a child-like state, only speaking to say words like, 'idiot,' and 'turdface.' Needless to say, the two would kill for some entertainment!
And then, just as Vina is considering testing a transformation charm on Delta, they spot something dark under the vast expanse of blue sky. It seems to be a solitary stone tower, perhaps made with the very purpose of isolation in mind. Trees crowd around the base of the structure, dwarfed by its size, and vines wrap around it, finding gaps between the bricks. An angelic voice calls out to them from the heavens: "Help! Oh, please, somebody help me out of this stone prison!"
Delta and Vina exchange a glance.
"Trap." she says, shaking her head.
"You're only using one-syllable words! I think we need the excitement."
"No I'm not! How would I say 'idiot,' then? That's so many syllables!" Vina says, a vacant expression on her face.
If we don't do this now, she'll start counting sheep. Or rocks, Delta considers, looking at her. Then he makes his way towards the tower, where a girl waves at them from a single window way up high. Something glints on her head, possibly a crown. Delta immediately puts on his best smile.
"Never fear, young damsel. Delta is here." With a leap, he starts to climb the tower, bare-handed. Beside him, Vina sprints up the brick like its nothing. Curse that girl's dark magic!
The girl hugs Vina as she climbs in through the window. The crown on her head is real diamond, which means...
"Princess...?"
The girl smiles, adjusting the crown on her blonde hair, "Yes, I'm the Princess of a nearby town. Avarees. Do you know it?"
"Yeah...we're...going that way too." Delta says, wiping his brow after the long climb. "I'm parched, Anything to drink in here?"
"Of course," the Princess rummages in a cabin, "I was saving this for a special occasion, but none deserve it more than my hero..."
Delta's eyes lit up at the last two words. Absolutely disgusting, Vina thought, watching his lecherous expression, what about me? I got here first, anyway.
"Aw, I couldn't take that, Princess." Delta said. When a man is in the presence of an attractive woman, he becomes incredibly polite! Normally, Delta would have jumped at this occasion! The Princess popped the lid off, took a sip, and handed it to him.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
Dante chuckled, taking the bottle. She tasted it herself, so it's not poisoned.
lips-
Plus, it's rude to decline a gift.
she put her lips-
And I did kinda save her.
Dante glanced at the bottle.
SHE PUT HER LIPS ON THIS BOTTLE, I HAVE TO TRY IT!
Dante took a swig from the bottle, and his facial muscles relaxed, displaying pure ecstasy! Vina blushed seeing him like that. "You idiot!" she screamed, as she swiped the bottle away from him. But the damage was done. Dante had a dream-like expression on his face.
What an amazing Princess, he thought.
I can see why they locked her up, she thought.
The Princess smiled, "Well, shall we get going?"
*
"So anyway, I did a front flip, snapped the bad guy's back, and saved the day."
"That's amazing, Delta! Was Vina completely lost without your help?"
Vina turned to glare at him, making his bones rattle in place. "Uh...no. Not in that story. No."
"Quiet."
"What?"
Vina put a finger to his lips, "Quiet."
They stood in silence for a moment, and it was only then that Delta heard it. Thud. Footsteps. Thud. Of something big. Close enough and big enough to shake the leaves on the trees. The princess clung onto his sword-arm, even as he tried to shake her off.
And then a tree trunk snapped behind them, and a troll scooped the princess up and away! He set off through the trees, wreaking havoc. "Princess!" Delta yelled, drawing his sword and chasing after it . Vina cursed and followed them. With one slash of his sword, Delta made quick work of the troll. Wounded behind the knee, it slammed into the ground, holding the Princess in one outstretched hand. Delta pried its fingers open, and the Princess fell into hi arms, showering him with kisses.
"My hero!"
"Oh, it was really nothing." Delta giggled, "Really, it was nothing." his face was flushed bright red. A shadow loomed over them.
"Watch out!" Vina said, as a harpy swooped down on them. Delta and the Princess rolled to the side. Vina extended one arm, shouted, "Power Pose, right arm!" and as she waved at the air, the harpy was batted aside like a fly. It screeched once, before disappearing into the woods.
"Uh, Vina...?" Delta started, getting to his feet and rawing his sword. All manner of creatures were lurking in the shadows of the trees. Big, small, thorny, ugly, creatures she could name and creatures she couldn't. And they were all looking at her. Blondie. The Princess.
By silent unanimous vote, the three of them turned tail and ran as fast as they could, an earthquake following them. Vina cursed again, the way she did when she realised something.
"What's happening?" Delta asked, carrying the Princess in his arms.
"You absolute idiot!" Vina screamed, pushing back their pursuers with her rage alone, "A princess alone in a tower? That's no ordinary damsel! That's a damsel in distress!"
"A damsel in..."
"Yes! They positively attract danger! Their only skill is getting captured! That's why she was up in that tower! It's probably enchanted to keep her and the rest of us safe!"
Delta and Vina managed to survive the rampage, and they promptly returned the Princess to her castle. Delta promised to visit her again sometime. And that made even Vina smile.
Our heroes continue on their journey. Until next time...