John stepped carefully over a pile of brittle bones, muttering under his breath as he went. "Come to a new world, he said. It'll be fun, he said. Meet interesting people and fight nightmare fuel bugs the size of Volkswagon Beatles…"

Kaia glanced at him, frowning. "What are you saying?"

John sighed. "It’s a reference. Just empathizing with John McClane?"

Kaia and Thorin exchanged blank looks.

John rubbed his face. "Okay, so there's this guy, John McClane, right? He’s a cop, just trying to visit his wife for Christmas. But then, boom—terrorists take over the building. He’s stuck inside, barefoot, fighting them off with nothing but grit and sarcasm. Best Christmas movie ever."

Thorin raised an eyebrow. "This is a Christmas story?"

John hesitated. "Well… yeah, kinda. I mean, it takes place at Christmas."

Kaia folded her arms. "It does not sound like a Christmas story."

"Wait you have Christmas here?" John said in astonishment

"Of course, we have Christmas and Jultomten gives gifts to good little boys and girls," Kaia says matter-of-factly.

"Jul.. Jewel toe men...It's Santa where I come from but the same. There are so many weird similarities between our two worlds" John responds

Thorin grunts in agreement.

"Anyway back to Die Hard, it's great. The first one was a masterpiece, and the third one was solid, but then… well, then it got weird."

Kaia smirked. "Like you?"

John put a hand over his heart. "Ouch. Right in the feelings."

Thorin gave him a skeptical glance. "Did you do anything besides watch these moving stories?"

"Yes," John huffed. "I have many useless hobbies, thank you very much."

Kaia smirked. "Such as?"

"Well, I learned lockpicking once because I thought it’d be cool. Built a forge in my backyard for like a week before my wife made me take it down. Oh and whittling wood, I started carving wizards and gnomes"

Thorin exclaimed. "I do some whittling too."

They moved deeper into the tunnel, the webbing thickening around them. It clung to their boots, stretched in strands across the passage like tripwires.

Then came the chittering.

It echoed through the cavern, a high-pitched, skittering noise that made the hairs on John’s neck stand up. Shadows shifted ahead, and three enormous spiders crawled into view, their many eyes glistening in the torchlight.

"Alright, nightmare fuel," John muttered, tightening his grip on his blades. "Let’s do this."

The spiders lunged.

John sidestepped the first, it's lunge slashing it as it went by. Thorin let out a roar, cleaving into another with his axe, splitting its carapace with a sickening crunch.

Kaia raised her staff, chanting under her breath. A pulse of divine light shot forward, slamming into the third spider, freezing it to be easy prey for them.

John spun, drawing both his knife and his new spiderfang dagger. The latter glowed faintly with a sickly green hue.

He grinned. "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker"

A spider pounced at him. He barely ducked in time, rolling under it before plunging both blades into its underbelly. The creature let out an unearthly shriek as green light flared from the wound.

Poison.

It convulsed, legs twitching violently, before collapsing in a heap.

Thorin crushed the last spider’s skull under his boot, wiping his axe clean with a grunt. "Is everything you say from a story?"

John sheathed his daggers with a flourish. "Only the good stuff."

The bodies of the spiders began to dissolve, just like before—green energy rising from them like mist.

Kaia was already moving ahead, scanning the tunnel. "Come on. There are more."

With that, they pressed forward, deeper into the web-choked darkness.

They pressed deeper into the cave, the tunnels winding like the coils of some enormous beast. The further they went, the thicker the webbing became, clinging to their boots and hanging like curtains from the ceiling.

John held his torch high, scanning the uneven rock walls when something caught his eye—a faint glow outlining a section of stone to his right. He slowed, squinting.

"Uh… guys?"

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Kaia and Thorin stopped. "What?" Kaia asked.

John stepped closer, tilting his head. "I think I see a secret door."

Thorin let out a skeptical grunt. "A what?"

"A hidden door. You know, like in Zelda or Indiana Jones? It’s got that faintly glowing outline like it’s just waiting for me to poke it."

Kaia gave him a wary look. "You think you see a hidden chamber?"

John rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's like the glowing tracks I see since I got the tracking skill. Look, let me try something."

He walked up and tapped the wall with the tip of his knife. Nothing. He tried pressing on the rock—still nothing. Finally, he ran his blade along the edge of the glow.

With a soft click, the stone slid inward.

Thorin stepped back, raising his axe. Kaia shifted her staff forward.

John grinned. "See? Secret door."

Beyond the doorway, a chamber stretched before them, the air inside heavy with dust and time. Cobwebs covered the ceiling, draping over old wooden furniture that had long since begun to rot. Against the far wall, a skeletal figure slumped in a chair, dressed in tattered remnants of what had once been fine robes.

The room looked like a long-abandoned laboratory.

Shelves lined the walls, filled with decayed scrolls, rusted instruments, and strange glass vials filled with substances that had turned black with age. A worktable sat in the center, littered with brittle parchments, faded ink stains, and shattered quills.

Kaia stepped forward, her eyes lighting up. "This… this is incredible. This lab must be hundreds of years old."

Thorin frowned, giving the place a quick once-over. "I see no weapons. No gold. Just old books."

Kaia shot him an annoyed glance. "Knowledge is valuable."

Thorin crossed his arms. "Not in a fight."

John ignored them, stepping closer to the skeleton. It had clearly been here for centuries—its bones brittle and yellowed. But something caught his eye.

Resting on its bony finger was a ring.

Unlike everything else in the room, the ring looked untouched by time. The metal gleamed as if freshly polished, and a dark gemstone sat at its center, swirling faintly with deep blue light.

John hesitated. "Well if this thing isn't cursed I'll be damned."

Kaia turned from the shelves, her arms full of books. "What?"

John gestured at the ring. "It’s the only thing in this entire room that isn’t covered in dust and decay. That’s textbook cursed item material."

Thorin gave him a flat look. "Then don’t take it."

John considered that. Then he reached out and took it.

"Dammit, John," Kaia muttered.

"Look, it was either this or let some other idiot find it and definitely get cursed," John said, slipping the ring into his pocket. "I’ll identify it later. Maybe it’s useful."

Kaia shook her head and returned to collecting the most intact books. After a few minutes, she had a decent selection. "These could contain forgotten knowledge. Magic, even."

Thorin sighed. "Are we done here?"

Kaia gave him a look. "You were fine stomping through a cave full of giant spiders, but this room bothers you?"

"It’s boring," Thorin muttered.

John clapped him on the shoulder. "Don’t worry, buddy. I’m sure there’ll be more creepy crawlers further in."

With that, they left the ancient laboratory behind, stepping back into the dark, dark tunnels.

And as John walked, he couldn’t shake the feeling that the ring in his pocket was watching him.

***

The tunnel opened into a massive cavern, the air thick with damp rot and the acrid stench of spider silk. At the center of the chamber sat a monstrous spider, its bloated, black-carapaced body easily the size of a horse-drawn carriage. Eight gleaming red eyes reflected their torchlight, and its grotesque fangs twitched, dripping venom. Surrounding it were five drone guards, each the size of a man, their barbed legs tapping against the stone as they scuttled into formation.

John let out a slow breath. “I should’ve brought a flamethrower.”

“You keep saying that,” Thorin muttered, hefting his axe.

“Because it’s true,” John shot back.

The Queen let out a shrill, chittering screech, and the drones rushed forward.

Thorin didn’t hesitate—he charged straight at the Spider Queen with a roar, his axe raised high. The ground trembled beneath his heavy boots as he swung with all his might. The Queen reared back, its massive fangs snapping, and deflected the strike with a thick, chitinous limb. The force of the impact sent Thorin skidding backward, but he dug his heels in and came right back, hacking at her again.

The drones swarmed, their movements swift and precise. One lunged at Kaia, but she was faster—her staff flared with divine light as she thrust it forward. A burst of holy energy rippled outward, stopping the spider in its tracks as its limbs locked up, paralyzed.

Another drone came for John, its fangs striking toward his face. He barely ducked in time, feeling the rush of air as the venomous bite missed by inches. He lashed out, shoving his torch into its face. The spider shrieked and reared back, its mandibles snapping wildly as it tried to escape the flames. But it was useless and it fell.

John didn’t slow down and went for a third spider. While it was preoccupied with Thorin, he circled around, both his dagger and knife flashing in the torchlight as he drove them into the creature’s exposed flank. The spider convulsed, its legs spasming. Even as black ichor spilled from the wounds, the drone turned on him, still alive.

“Persistent little bastard, aren’t you?” John grunted, rolling away as it lunged. Back on his feet He ran at the badly hurt spider and unleashed a barrage of cuts to it fininsing it.

Slowing down one of the drones attacking Throin gave him an opening and He was able to cleave it in two with a mighty blow from his axe.

They were down to two spiders attacking Thorin and he wasn't doing well.

Kaia was struggling to keep Thorin on his feet—the Queen was relentless, slamming him with powerful blows from her massive legs. His armor deflected some of the force, but not all. Each hit sent him staggering, blood seeping from fresh wounds.

John saw his opening. He sprinted toward the Queen’s blind spot. If Thorin was taking the brunt of her fury, then he’d damn well take advantage of it. He hit the queen with both blades they both glanced off harmlessly. The Queen's carapace was too strong.

"Fuck you, you eight-legged freak," John said.

Knowing he needed to find a soft spot for his blades he leaped onto her back, scrambling up to her head.

He drove his dagger into one of her gleaming red eyes. The Queen let out an ear-piercing shriek, her body jerking violently as she tried to shake him off. He held on, wrenching the blade free before stabbing another eye. Dark ichor sprayed, coating his hands and arms in something foul-smelling and sticky.

"Bet you didn't see that coming" John screamed.

Thorin, seeing that John went for a weaker body part, he roared and swung his axe in a powerful arc. The blade bit deep into one of the Queen’s legs, severing it at the joint. The creature staggered, its balance thrown.

John leaped off the queen's head and landed on the drone still attacking Thorin. It crumpled under his weight and he finished it off with a quick strike to the brain.

Thorin kept on hacking off limbs and John joined in. One by one, the Queen’s legs were taken out. She collapsed with a final, shuddering screech, her body crumpling under its weight. John and Thorin wasted no time—John drove his dagger deep into the base of her skull, twisting hard, while Thorin brought his axe down in a brutal finishing blow.

The Queen shuddered once more before finally going still. John ran over to the last drone still frozen and finished it off easily.

John staggered back, panting. His arms ached, his body was covered in spider gore, and his heart was pounding.

Then, a familiar chime echoed in his ears.

**Level Up!**

**John Bradford – Level 8**

“*Finally!*” John groaned, rubbing his sore arms.

He glanced at the Queen’s body, then at his lunch bag of holding. Without hesitation, he began tossing the best-looking pieces in his bag

“What... are you doing?” Kaia asked, staring in horrified fascination.

“Testing out an idea I'll show you later” John replied.

Thorin let out a wheezing laugh and collapsed onto a nearby rock. “I'm sure it will be a horrible idea.”

John grinned. “Nah I've got a good feeling about this.”

***

The crackling fire cast flickering shadows against the hastily constructed boma, its wooden spikes giving them a sense of security against whatever lurked in the darkness beyond. Thorin sat on a rock, stretching his sore limbs, while Kaia poked suspiciously at the sizzling spider legs roasting over the flames. John, ever the opportunist, was using a flat stone as a makeshift grill, carefully turning the meat to cook evenly. The scent wafting through the air was… surprisingly pleasant.

“I still don’t know if this is a good idea,” Kaia muttered, wrinkling her nose. “Eating something that tried to kill us feels… unnatural.”

Thorin let out a hearty chuckle. “Food is food, priestess. We’d be fools to waste it.” He grabbed the first finished piece, tearing into it with the enthusiasm of a starving man. The moment the meat hit his tongue, his eyes widened in shock. “By the gods! This is good!”

John smirked, taking a bite himself. “Tastes like lobster. I was right.”

Kaia, still dubious, picked up a small piece and nibbled on the edge. Her expression shifted from suspicion to mild surprise, then grudging acceptance. “It’s… not terrible.”

John laughed. “See? Not only did we survive a hellish death cave full of giant freaking spiders, but we got ourselves a gourmet meal out of it. I’d call that a win.”

The three of them ate in companionable silence, exhaustion settling in now that the adrenaline had finally worn off. The night air was cool, and the only sounds were the occasional distant calls of nocturnal creatures and the soft crackle of the fire.

John leaned back against his pack, pulling up his status screen. The glowing interface shimmered before his eyes.

John Bradford – Level 8

Class: Rogue

HP: 215/280

Stamina: 120/175

New Ability Unlocked: Improved Backstab – Bonus damage when attacking from behind

He grinned to himself. He was getting stronger, bit by bit. The world might be stacked against him, but he was adapting. Learning. Surviving.

As he rolled onto his bedroll, he let out a contented sigh. “Not bad for a guy who was just trying to get to work this morning.”

Thorin chuckled. “You have strange luck, John.”

Kaia, wrapped in her cloak, smirked. “Let’s just hope it doesn’t run out.”

John stared up at the night sky, the stars unfamiliar yet oddly comforting. He had no idea what tomorrow would bring. More monsters? More danger? Probably. But for now, he let the fire’s warmth and the satisfaction of a full stomach lull him into much-needed rest.

Tomorrow was another day.