Novels2Search

Verse One

Such a beautiful day. A sweeping breeze causes a steady, gentle rustle of the grass all about, all the while carrying the countless subtle scents of pollen, salt and the distant traces of countless living creatures. It blows straight through you, its path never starting, never ending, with me just another obstacle as it sweeps past, giving me the perfect front-row seat to appreciate it's majesty. I hope that I'm not getting in its way. It would be terrible to so inconvenience it, after its enriched my day so much.

The sound of the grass carries as the winds grow stronger, each blade of it slapping against one another, a faint noise at first but growing ever stronger as they cascade. Each strikes and flows against two more until the entire field rings out in a sort of gentle and steady applause. At least until the wind grows tired of blowing, and the plants complete their bow, returning upright. Then, the sky once more regains its breath, and the whole process begins anew. Countless tiny insects skitter and crawl, tiny beating wings hum and flicker. Far away a bird cries, a beast howls, and the distant roar of an engine rises and falls as its owner speeds away.

There is a taste to the cool air as well. Tiny hints of water, even tinier hints of salt which come from who knows where, along with the ever-present sweetness of all of the countless things carried within it.

A truly beautiful day. Far too beautiful to be hiding down within the grass, away from the open sky, away from the whole world. Sure, the rock may have been rather difficult to climb, but don't all things, in some sense wish to be of use? In serving me, I'm sure that it, itself, is happier as well.

I lightly strum a string with my finger. A lovely, reverberating sound ensues, which grows in intensity before fading away to nothing. Lovely but not quite proper. Repeating on another string offers a similar sensation. A much different sound, although no less lovely (it would be wrong to pick favorites, after all), and also no less wrong in that same undefinable manner. That's the worst sort of wrong. When you can define it, you can simply add something good to make it better, or try to remove that which is making it worse. When undefinable, you're essentially guessing, and always run the risk of corrupting what you currently have. Still, one can't help but try, in spite of that risk.

A new scent fills the air. A sort of dusty yet warm smell. Clearly very close.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" It asks. Such an attractive voice. Low and rumbling, as though multiple sounds are coming together at once through it's throat. Yet another privilege that this day has offered. It's unfortunate that I have so little to offer in return.

"Are you talking to me?" I ask after a brief hesitation, tilting my head in the general direction of that alluring yet alien voice. It's the sort of thing that others seem to expect of you, even if I cannot really understand why. Still, it is my job to please, rather than to understand, and I fully intend to play my part.

"Of course. Who else would I be talking to?" it asks, with just a hint of annoyance in its powerful voice.

"Well, you seemed to be talking about a 'what', which implied a thing, and, well, there are so many things about! It seemed presumptuous to assume that it was directed specifically at me." I say before I find myself hit with a sudden realization. "Oh, do you talk to things, too? People always find it strange when I do that, but I can't imagine that it would cause harm. Who knows, maybe on some level they even appreciate the attention?" I furrow a little, "Although, now that I think about it, I do run the risk of offending them. I know so little about the cultures or philosophies held by inanimate objects. Perhaps I should rethink that approach. Maybe I'm just being a bother, and they'd prefer to simply be left alone?"

"Ugh, I'm talking to you." it says. I feel a loud thump as it sits down directly in front of me. There's an odd sharpness to its scent, but not unpleasant, although, in truth, I've never really understood the concept of scents being unpleasant. Clearly, the creature is quite large, to the extent that it's difficult for me to smell anything else. "I said 'what' because, well, I don't really care who you are."

"Well, It's pleasing to know that you appreciate what I am. I can't disagree with you when it comes to 'who', either. All that you get is a name, and, well, what does that tell you? Sure, it's a convenient way to address someone, but it tells you so little about them. At best, maybe you'll learn a little bit about their parents, but nothing about them, and there's just so much more to all of us than that, don't you agree?"

There's a brief pause. "I... suppose so."

"Oh, dear, you me asked a question some time ago, and all this while I've been evading it, and asking other questions instead. That's no way to move a conversation forward, is it?" I say, shaking my head, genuinely disappointed with myself. "Hmm, but that's such a difficult question to answer, isn't it? 'what do we have here?', as in 'what am I?'. So much to say, and yet so little. Frightfully sorry, but I don't think I can come up with a very satisfying explanation on the spur of the moment like this."

A long sigh. Such an elegant creature, which makes such fascinating noises. Perhaps I should be speaking less. I feel as though I'm dominating the conversation, yet saying so little. I can only imagine that my new friend has so many interesting things that it wishes to say as well!

"Okay, fine. Another question. Why are you here?" it asks.

Another tough one. I give it a good few seconds of thought. Not long enough to seem as though I'm ignoring my newfound company, of course, but at the same time it's another question which has so many possible layers when you get down to it. "Hmm... well, I suppose that I have to be somewhere, don't I? And this place seems quite nice. As nice as anywhere. In fact, from my general experiences, far nicer than most! Oh, perhaps there is a reason that I shouldn't be here? If this place belongs to you or someone else, I'm terribly sorry and will vacate immediately! I certainly don't wish to intrude!"

"No, no, no..." it sighs once more, a low rumble in it's throat, which feels like a light massage to the ears. "You're wide out in the open, just begging for someone to come along and devour you."

"Hmm, well, if that happens it happens, but I can't say that I'm 'begging' for it. Quite the contrary, it would outright ruin my day!" I say, thinking once again. "And who might I be begging to devour me? I'd very much like to clear up this misunderstanding. I truly hate to be misunderstood, after all."

"Well... me for one." it says. I can feel its head lean in closer, the faint, pleasant particles which fall from its fur filling my nose.

"Oh, good! That makes things so much easier! I was worried that the victim might be someone much further away, who I had no established rapport with." I smile. "Well, kind stranger, I both apologize for misleading you, and appreciate you clarifying the matter. I'll do my best to avoid putting off that impression in the future... although to be honest, I'm not entirely certain of how to do that..." I pause once more, going through my mind, just to make sure that I can't come up with anything on my own. It turns out that I was right the first time. "Do you happen to have any suggestions?"

"Well, most mice try to stay out of sight, for one thing." it replies.

"Ah, yes. Unfortunately, I've never really had much of a handle on the whole 'sight' thing. I've often heard it described, and must admit that it does sound like quite the useful little trick, but I can't really relate to the experience as a whole."

It leans in closer, the direction of the air changing at it inhales close to my fur before drawing back, slightly.

"You're blind." it says, with no shortage of surprise in its voice.

"I'm afraid that I don't know what that word means."

"It means someone who cannot see."

I can't help but chuckle. "Really? Wow, people have words for everything these days, don't they? It's not enough that they bother naming all of the objects that are around them, and the things that they can do... now they're naming things that people can't do! Hmm, does that mean that there are names for non-objects? That is to say things that don't exist? That feels like it would be quite problematic. There are so many things which don't exist, after all. You'd be naming all day! I don't see how you would ever stop. But then, I suppose it isn't a single person's job to name things, is it? It's more of a coordinated effort. Still, it sounds frightfully difficult. There must be at least, say, three times as many non-things as there are things in the universe!"

People say that thinking is a silent process, and they aren't entirely wrong, but if you pay enough close attention, you can sense when someone is thinking really hard about something. "Ugh, this is going nowhere." my large companion finally replies, "I'll just lay things out in simple terms."

"Oh, please do!" I say excitedly, clapping my paws together, always eager to hear another's perspective.

"You are a mouse. You seem to be alone. You are out in the open, where there are a lot of predators who could eat you." It says, pausing for a moment to gather its thoughts. "Furthermore, I am a predator. Even if you could see, I can't imagine that you could effectively defend yourself on your own with that weapon of yours..."

"What weapon is that?" I ask. Weapons are dangerous things, or so I've heard. I would hate to think that there were some around that I didn't know about!

"That thing in your lap."

"Oh, this?" I say, lifting up and holding out my instrument. "It's not a weapon, it's a... well, I'm not really sure what it is! I saw it in a dream, and have spent a lot of time trying to make it just right. I honestly don't quite know what it's for or how to use it, but it does make lovely noises..." as I hold the rounded portion to my belly, tilting it so that the neck of it settles just under my chin, and lightly strum from one of the taut strings to another, the soft, reverberating melody going from low to high to low once more.

There's a long silence. The unmistakable scent and presence of my guest remains, but for the longest time, no words are spoken. I fear that I may have offended my new friend, or worse, perhaps this strange device is indeed a weapon, and I have somehow harmed them? Should I apologize? Probably. That feels like the appropriate default response to most things that I do.

"Do that again." it says in a flat voice. I'm happy to oblige. Rather than play a simple scale, I chain together a series of notes which I had always thought sounded nice together, moving my fingers from one string to the next in a steady rhythm, those of one paw along the lower portions of the strings, the other pinching them at the instrument's head. An enjoyable sound ensues, even if in my heart of hearts I know that it isn't quite right.

"It's quite pleasant, not only on the ears, but the sensation of the tension against the fingers as well. Sadly, I feel I'm that not using it properly, and have found no clues on how to correct that matter."

Another pause, as my new company shakes his head. "Ugh, anyways, back to the matter at hand." it says, with a flash of... embarrassment, perhaps, in its voice? "Anyways, as I was saying, I'm a predator, and I fully intend to eat you."

"Ah, I see. Well, I suppose that does explain why you approached me." I say. I'm tempted to stop speaking right there, but cannot bring myself to. My outspoken nature can be a terrible curse sometimes. "Forgive me, but I can't help but be skeptical. You say you are a predator, and that part I fully believe." I say with a nod. "Are you an effective predator? Are you good at the whole... killing thing?"

"Of course. I'm second to none." it says proudly.

"Really? How does such a ranking system work? Well, that's not important. Still, it's flattering to know that I'm facing not only a predator, but the very best one! What are the odds?" still, I frown a little. "However, once again I'm skeptical. You say that you're very good at killing, and yet I'm still alive. Not to criticize or tell you how to do your job, of course, but I can't help notice the inherent contradiction here."

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

"Oh, I'll kill you soon enough, don't worry."

"Hmm, I can't say I'm worried... frankly, being killed sounds downright inconvenient. Still, it just seems hard to wrap my head around. If you're hungry, you should eat now. If I've offended or inspired some sort of hatred in you, and again, if I have, I sincerely apologize, you should still similarly act upon it now. If you are going to kill me in, say... five minutes?" I ask the last portion.

"Almost certainly less."

"Oh, of course, that was just a hypothetical example. Well, lets say you are going to kill me in five minutes, for instance. What exactly will have changed from then to now, to make it a better time to do so? I can't imagine you becoming that much hungrier in that time." I say, "But then again you do seem to be rather large. Perhaps you need to eat more often? Still, I smell no traces of meat on your breath, so you couldn't have eaten that recently. Similarly, I don't see you getting angrier or more violent, at least not on such a predictable schedule." I frown, resting my chin on the neck of the instrument. "Perhaps I'm just being foolish, but I'm having a great trouble wrapping my head around this matter. You say that I am to die within, again, theoretically, five minutes, and yet from my perspective, there won't be any difference in the situation between now and then... or now and five minutes ago. Understand, it makes it difficult to look to the future with any sense of dread."

Another sigh. "You're over thinking this. I came over here to eat you, and I asked a question because I thought that it was strange that you were so exposed and vulnerable. That's it."

"Hmm. Nope, sorry, I just don't buy it." I say. "After all, I've already explained why I was here, and yet have still gone uneaten. I don't wish to call you a liar, but clearly I'm missing something here."

"You really didn't explain why you were here. Aren't you afraid?" It asked, now with more than a hint of annoyance to its voice.

"Sure I did, I said... I said..." I pause, scanning my memories, thinking back before coming to a shocking realization. "Oh, dear! I really didn't properly answer that, did I? I'm so sorry! Hmm, still that is a difficult one to answer. Well, I suppose I'll start by explaining why I'm not in other places... after all, it's hard to explain why I'm here specifically, when I have little perspective on where 'here' actually is."

"Get on with it."

"Oh yes, I'll try to keep this brief. Well, I'm not at home because it's too quiet there. I can always go outside and into town, but that causes its own problems, as you can surely imagine." I say before again coming to a realization. "Oh, I suppose you might not be able to imagine it. Well, it's very crowded and noisy... even worse than quiet. It's difficult to get around, and then, well... there's the pity. It's easier when unnoticed in a crowd, but I invariably bump into people when I try. Then they notice me, realize that I can't see, which is, apparently, a really big problem, and well... they feel sad. Just a little, of course, but it adds up. Do you know what that's like?"

"I can't say that I do." it says.

"It's hard. Far harder than just being unable to see, although people seem to think that's quite difficult, even if I have little to compare it to. It's one thing to have trouble contributing and making things better. Sometimes, one just can't fix a problem, and some of us, well, we can't fix many problems no matter how easy they are for others. I can accept that, but the sensation that your very presence makes people upset, and in turn makes the world just a little less happy? That's harder to endure. It's hard enough knowing that you're doing it to just one person, but it's never just one, it's many, and it's every day. You hear people laughing to one another, but the mood dampens, just a little when you approach. They are polite and friendly and try to not act the least bit upset, but that required effort just makes you feel all the worse.

"Now, don't get me wrong," I continue with a smile. "I don't dislike myself... quite the contrary, I find my presence quite delightful, and I don't know what I would do without it! I don't wish to suffer or to be harmed but, well... I don't want others to suffer either, and it feels like all that I do is cause suffering to other mice. Therefore, the only answer was to get away from the other mice, and seeing as how there don't seem to be any other mice around, I must have succeeded!"

"Seriously?" It says in a dismissive tone. "That's it? That's why you came out here to die? Just so you wouldn't make other mice feel bad?"

"Oh, no, I didn't come out here to die!"

"What on earth did you expect?" An angry growl in its voice, which adds an even more pleasant depth to the sound. "What did you expect would happen when you went out all alone, in plain sight, when there's predators all around?"

"Hmm, good question..." I think aloud to myself. "Well, for one, I don't really get the idea of 'sight'. I sort of grasp the loose concept, but I don't really know what it means to be in sight of something, sorry. Beyond that, well, I guess the joy of going somewhere completely new lies in not knowing what to expect! If I wanted familiarity and predictability, I'd have stayed at home."

"Well, there's no way that you can survive out here on your own. Even if I decided to let you go, it's only a matter of time before something else comes along to eat you." it says, the anger diminishing but not entirely vanishing from its voice.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right, now that I think about it. There are a lot more of them than there are of me, so law of averages and all that. Only a matter of time." I nod. "Oh well, we've all got to die some time, I guess. No sense making a big deal about it. Really, it's quite fortunate. People get eaten all the time, after all, and I'll get to be eaten by someone that I've gotten to have a nice chat with! What more can you ask for from your killer?"

"Really? So that's it? You're not going to run or fight?" it says, that sense of annoyance and disappointment once again appearing in the deep voice. It's a shame, really. It feels like everywhere that I go, I have a negative impact on people. "Is your life worth so little? Don't you have any regrets?"

"Well, as for running, I really don't have much sense of direction. Plus, one of my legs is a little longer than the other. I'd probably just trip over something. I don't really know how to fight either, but from what I hear, it seems pretty messy. As for my life, well it's just a life like any other. I figure death isn't so bad anyways, right? Think about it: We're all just defined by the body we're born into and the memories we experience, right? They determine what we believe and how we feel about stuff. But things can happen, like injuries that make you lose your memories. Sure, it's kind of a scary idea, but a bit of an exciting one, too: A chance to start completely fresh, and experience everything again for the first time."

I raise my head to my new best friend, my eyes still shut as always. "Anyways, if we're just memories, that's basically what death is, right? A fresh start. Some new person born, and well, they're just a clean slate like I was... so they're basically me! Now, I'm not sure if a soul or anything exists, but if you don't remember your past life, well, it doesn't really matter if you're literally reborn or not. All mice are kind of the same, with the idea of 'me' just being a frame of reference that changes around! Even as we speak, there must be a billion other me's, creatures born into the world, exactly the same as myself, only they look out at it through different eyes, end up in different places, and end up living different lives as a result!" I smile wider, unable to resist due to the growing sense of excitement. "So, really if I die, nothing changes. It would be another thing if I end up suffering for a while, I guess..." I pause, the excitement replaced with just a bit of nervousness. "I won't, will I?"

A soft chuckle. "I could kill you instantly in a thousand different ways if I so desired."

"Wow, that's rough! Seriously, it sounds super stressful!" I say. Upon sensing the creature's confusion, I continue. "I mean I have enough trouble deciding on whether I should go left or right... and then I realize that I can go forward as well, making the decision 40% harder! I can't imagine trying to pick one out of a thousand different options! I mean sure, you can probably just dismiss a good half of them as being impractical, but as for the rest? How do you even begin ranking them, weighing out the pros and cons of each individual one, and then picking out a singular option? I could never do that!"

"Well... um..." it pauses, its thoughts finally broken up by a loud growl. "That doesn't matter! What's wrong with you? If you think that your life matters so little, how have you gone on for so long?"

"I'm sorry." I say, lowering my head once more. Such gestures feel a bit pointless, but they're long practiced and others seem to expect them. "I didn't mean to offend you. You see, I'm very new at this whole being eaten thing, and am kind of improvising my way through it. Am I supposed to cry and resist? Does that make the experience more satisfying?" I add, disappointed with myself. I always strive to be as good as I can be, at whatever I am whatever it is that I'm doing, even if 'as good as I can be' tends to amount to very little. If that's to be a meal? Well, then, I should be as good a meal as I possibly can! Otherwise, what's the point?

"Well... yes..." it says. The voice sounds rather masculine, but it feels unfair to make that assumption, considering the variety of anatomies of creatures. After all, many consider the soft squeaky voices of mice to all sound feminine. Not all creatures follow the same rules, after all. "Well, not really... maybe. It kind of depends." it pauses once more, thinking, before finally shaking it off. "Anyways, this isn't about me, it's about you. You should want to keep living."

"I do!"

"No, you don't. If you did, you'd do whatever it took to survive."

"But I am doing whatever I can to survive, and given the situation, I feel like I've done pretty good at it. You could have ambushed me at first sight, right? But even in this situation, I'm still alive. Maybe I won't be soon, but hey, I can worry about that when the time comes. If I ran or fought or cried for help or, well, anything, you'd just kill me sooner, wouldn't you? So instead, all I can do is, well... be me! It's the only weapon at my disposal, and while it might not sound very formidable, it's worked well enough for me so far!" I smile. "In fact, it's been well over five minutes since we started talking, so I've lived longer than you expected! So, I'm doing the only thing that I can do: Surviving five minutes at a time. Using what worked the last five minutes to applying that logic to the next, figuring that it will probably work again!"

"That won't work forever." the creature grumbles. "Even if, somehow, you survive this day, there comes a time when, for everyone, they're facing their last five minutes on this world."

"Yeah, but that's only one five minute interval you won't survive compared to what? The thousands of others in your life where you will? I don't know about you, but I like those odds!" I can't help but grin. When I put it that way, things really do sound quite optimistic!

"This is ridiculous." it says. "And you didn't answer my question before, back when you went off on your silly tangent about how it doesn't matter if you die. Won't you have any regrets?"

My grin fades at this. "Yeah, of course I will. I'm not really worried about leaving people behind, as they're better off without me..." my voice softens. "And it's not like I ever really wanted to raise a family or have children... heh, can you imagine? I'd be misplacing them everywhere!" I can't help but chuckle. "But I will have one big one... it's this instrument of mine. I would have liked to have mastered it one day, utilized it to its full potential, but I don't know how. I was kind of planning to go out and visit a lot of places, and to take in all of the new sounds from all of those locations as inspiration in hopes that I might be able to transfer them through my instrument." I say, the chuckle fading to a small smile once more. "But that was never realistic, was it? I've already gotten myself lost, and all of those amazing places out there, with the natural music that fills them? I'd never be able to find them.

"I've never been able to do much of anything, you see. Chores, construction, relationships? I could handle the very basics, but always so much slower and less effectively than others. If anything, I just got in the way, but this?" I run my furless fingers along the strings. "This is something that I made from essentially nothing... something that I brought into the world, and something which depends on me to utilize it to its full potential. It was something that only I could do, and well... I can't even do that. So yeah, I guess I've got regrets, but they won't really matter once I'm dead, will they? When you think about it that way, it's probably better that they go away quickly, rather than having them linger over a long life, right?"

There's an annoyed huff. "Just go." it says. "I've lost my appetite." as I can hear the heavy footfalls stepping away.

"I... I don't have anywhere to go." I respond in a soft voice which I was certain that it couldn't possibly hear. The footsteps stop, regardless.

It remains standing in place for quite some time. If not for the scent, I'd have little idea that it was still there. "I... suppose I could use some emergency rations, for when I get hungry later. In the meantime, maybe you'll be able to take in more sounds and help this... 'music' of yours." it grumbles. "Maybe. I'm not making any promises."

"Wow, emergency rations, huh? That sounds impressive!" I beam. "I mean, all that I've ever wanted was to be needed to someone, and not only will I be useful, I'll help stave off an actual emergency! That's way more than I ever could have hoped for!"

"Look, I know you're just some blind vermin, but can't you aim just a little bit higher than being a single meal?" another sigh. I don't know why that noise has such a poor reputation. I find it to be very soothing.

"What, like being a full banquet? I mean that would be a little better, being more useful and stuff, but I think that I'm a little bit small for that." I hmm, working out the logistics in my head. "Maybe for a bunch of smaller creatures. Ooh, I just realized how convenient it must be to be small and not need to eat as much! Wow, must be rough being so big."

"I get by." It chuckles for the first time since meeting it. Every sound which comes from the creatures mouth is a soothing one. "I guess I'll have to carry you. With those short legs of yours, it will take forever for you to walk. I'm going to be making my rounds through the neighborhood, and will eat you once I'm finished... or more likely just whenever I feel like it." I feel it draw closer still. "Crawl on up, 'Food'. That's your name, by the way."

"I like it!" I chirp. "Practical and easy to remember!" as I clumsily reach forward, finding a wall of pure softness and warmth. It feels so nice on my paws that I just want to bury my face in it, but ultimately decide against doing so. I've tried the patience of my good friend for more than long enough today. I worry a little about tugging on the fur, afraid of causing pain, but it there is any, the large creature shows no signs of it. A quick clamber up the top, and I take a seat on the cushioned back, gently stroking the skin underneath the thick hair.

Another sound follows, a low rumble not coming from the mouth but the entire body, which goes through my hands and entire being. The sound and feeling reminds me more than a little of the twang of a guitar string, and makes me feel more at home than any home I had ever known. Regrets remain, of course, ones I can't reasonably hope to purge in such a short time, but already, taking in this new sensation? I can feel them diminishing. The creature pads away, and while I reflexively hold on tight, it's really quite a smooth ride. The day is very likely to be a short one and most certainly my last one on earth, but I can already tell it's going to be the best that I've had in a very, very long time.

Previous Chapter
Next Chapter