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Squadron of Cards

The forest held no signs of life until the smiling cat and now there seemed to be something else wanting to introduce its existence. The earth beneath Rocket had a synchronized vibration—a tempo of one-two, one-two, not a moment late.

He was hiding behind the overgrown roots of a tree, allowing the mist to devour him completely so that whatever was approaching would miss him. He bit his tongue and held his breath. There was no place much more silent than the forest after all and the slightest sound would be heard.

He didn’t peek not while the march sounded so close. Aircrafts flew past above him to the direction where his ship had landed and he could only guess that whatever civilization stood on that planet knew about his intrusion.

The march proceeded ahead and as the sound got quieter, Rocket decided to peer on whatever walked past him.

There were four rows of rectangular silhouettes with limbs delving deeper into the woods until their figure could no longer be seen. He wasn’t detected, which he decided was a good thing since he didn’t really know if the inhabitants of the planet were friendly or not.

Patting dust off his suit, he got up and searched around for the smiling cat. He opened his mouth to call but realized that he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t get the cat’s name after all. “Smug-face,” Rocket yelled, “They’re gone now, you can come out.” There came no response and after a while, Rocket answered his own call. “Or just stay hidden, whatever.”

He followed the direction which the battalion used and from there, he estimated where they came from. With the mist covering the ground, he had no footsteps to follow so he climbed one of the trees for a better vantage point.

He stood at the tip of a frail branch with only one hand holding his body weight. He pointed his finger to where the aircrafts flew by and traced the direction where they might have originated. With just his open palm and outstretched thumb as his protractor, he estimated the direction and distance he’ll be walking.

“It’s no good following where the soldiers came from.”

Rocket got startled by the cat’s voice and the branch which he solely relied on, snapped. He clawed in the air, desperately trying to reach the thin, skeletal branches of the tree but none he could grasp. He fell but in a gentle sway like leaf gliding in the air. There was vapor underneath him which formed a cloud bed where he sat and from that vapor, materialized the cat from earlier, relaxing nonchalantly as they glided elegantly towards the ground.

“Falling is no good either,” the cat said.

“I wouldn’t have fallen if you didn’t surprise me up there,” Rocket returned, “And wipe that grin off your face. It’s disturbing.”

“So blunt,” the cat commented as they finally reached the ground.

Rocket got off quickly, landing on all fours before standing on two legs once again. “What were those guys back there?” he patted dirt off his hands.

“The red queen’s soldiers.”

“What’s the red queen?” Rocket asked again.

“The ruler of half the kingdom,” the cat floated in front of Rocket, “A tyrant,” he rotated and vaporized his body, leaving a floating head in Rocket’s wake, “She likes to take people’s heads.”

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Rocket took a few steps back, “Did she try taking yours?”

“She could try,” the cat chortled, “But she couldn’t even capture me.”

“Is there a bounty on your head?”

The cat paused and his smile diminished but never left his face. He vanished then reappeared cradling on Rocket’s arms, “Are you going to turn me in?”

Rocket chuckled, “It depends on the bounty.”

“You could try,” the cat whispered and traced his claws on Rocket’s shoulder, “But I doubt you’ll succeed.”

Rocket dropped the cat but the cat remained on the air. “Don’t tempt me,” Rocket said, “I could already think of ways to capture you. How do you feel about vacuums?”

“Repulsive,” the cat remarked, “But do you have one with you?”

“I don’t have time for bounty hunting right now,” Rocket said, “I’d rather be on my way back to my friends but it’s no excuse that I won’t succeed in capturing you.”

The cat floated to a tree branch, relaxing once again. “You’ll be surprised at the bounty on my head,” he said, “In fact, it might be your only ticket out of here.”

Rocket laughed. “I have a ship that only needs a few parts replaced.” And the after he spoke, the aircrafts from earlier flew past once again, carrying his ship by their tails.

“You were saying?” the cat smirked.

Rocket’s mouth dropped open. There was junk inside that cheap ship—important junk he got from Knowhere.

“Maybe now you’d like to capture me?” the cat said, “To give you motivation, I’ll tell you what the bounty is. It’s anything you want—a new ship, materials to come along with it, even your old spacecraft.”

“Are you doing this on purpose?” Rocket yelled “Or are you trying to prove something?”

“What’s that I hear?” the cat taunted, “All bark and no bite?” he laughed.

“Why you frigging,” Rocket took out his gun and aimed it at the cat.

“Oh, what fun,” the cat stood up and posed.

Rocket pulled the trigger and watched his projectile home for the cat but before it made contact, the cat evaporated and materialized beside Rocket.

“Your gun shoots far,” the cat winked, “If you know what I mean…”

“You dirty little—“ Rocket murmured and fired again. And again, he missed.

“Hey how much does the projectile hurt?” the cat appeared by the mouth of Rocket’s gun, tapping his claw on the opening.

“Tell me about it,” Rocket fired and missed.

“I like big guns, but I never touched one myself,” the cat chortled.

“Could you stop sexualizing my weapon?” Rocket gritted his teeth.

The cat snorted and put a hand on his mouth, “Oh my… whatever are you talking about? I wasn’t implying anything. Say, could I hold your gun?”

“That’s it!” Rocket switched his weapon to a different mode. He stormed the environment with a rain of shells, leaving no place for the cat to materialize. He battle-cried, letting the annoyance out as he bombarded the place with bullets. He ran out of ammunition eventually and that’s when the annoying cat reappeared above head, letting out another lewd comment.

“What a messy shot,” he meowed and floated beside Rocket, “Are you done coming at me?”

Rocket slapped his face before dropping the gun and tried brawling with the cat fist to fist. He clawed at the feline, punching and grabbing but like waving away smoke, the cat merely wafted and materialized.

“Perhaps you’re done now?”

Rocket panted and although it was hard to admit, he gave up… for now. “I guess I am,” he gasped for air.

“Phew,” the cat wiped his forehead, “I admit, you have a lot of stamina.”

“Stop,” Rocket demanded.

“I almost couldn’t keep up,”

“Will you shut it?” Rocket yelled, “I’m not in the mood for your lecherous Easter eggs so fuck off!”

The cat went quiet for a second but only for a second. He floated in front of Rocket and added another comment, “I like your boiling point.”

Rocket glared at the cat, having doubts if he should respond to that or not.

“This time, that doesn’t have a double meaning,” the cat said. “And since you’re cool, I’ll help you find a way out.”

Rocket felt relieved. It was the truly the only thing he needed to hear right now.