As I lay here in the intense green grass, bleeding, to death, my mind wanders off to thoughts of my previous life, of all the blood and suffering, the hardship and moment of pure euphoria that followed.
Rain seem to pouring over me, but for apparent reasons I can't seem to see the beauty of a rainy sky, the feeling of rain washing over my tender skin, seem to be the last feeling I will have in this world.
It was a cold moonless night. The sky was dark and low, the air so chilled it hurt to breathe. Already the ground was laid white with frost and any water that had been liquid under the winter sun had become ice.
To my surprise images of my previous life seem to streaming inside my head, memories of my pathetic life , born in the slum, the criminal activities that followed for the purpose of surviving, the dread of seeing people suffer for your gain, and the emptiness, that viscous snake that takes a bite and never let go.
A child should never be allowed to live a life of poverty , A child should never be allowed to steal, A child should never be allowed to kill, but even if those are true, ultimately I made the choice to live this way. I often felt that originally I was not a bad person, originally we are all born good, If I had a different life I would have been good, at least an existence that's valuable.
In the eyes of the beholder my existence will be forgotten, I was no one. The truth is I was a child forgotten and thrown away in the abyss of the slums. I was a fighter, I escaped the escapable, I was a thief, I was a comrade, I was a murderer, I existed, I will not forget myself even if I was an evil person, an empty person, because I was somebody.
I felt at peace by my death, I finally escaped the immortal snake that was emptiness,
I am me.
-
As I finally met my end everything turned jet-black dark, but for some reason I did not leave my body, my mind was still present, my regrets, my darkness and sorrow was still lingering.
Suddenly flashes of light seemed to appear; I got the feeling of being in an incredible long slumber and someone suddenly bringing a sun inside a small confined room. A sun so bright one might actually think this was enough light to wash away all my darkness.
Suddenly the form of an incredibly tall female took shape in front of my eyes, it might have been a male, the form seemed almost like it possessed no defining generic gender features, impossible to describe without experiencing it yourself.
The being suddenly said with an overbearing yet archaic voice, both solemn and serene,
"Do you seek redemption?"
I was very tempted to instantly shout out yes, but a feeling inside me told me I shouldn't. This feeling that appeared when I was close to killing myself, the feeling that appeared when I felt so much grief and pain that I couldn't go on anymore. Even if it made me felt unpleasant, I finally, undoubtedly, felt feelings again, might this be a sign that I am finally returning to a humane state? I thought for myself.
Humanity seem to have left me during some part of my life, the feelings were gone, during most part of my life I just continued, endlessly moving forward, similar to walking and breathing, they just continue to be done without the mind ever interfering in their path. The continuation seems to be driven by one simple basic instinct, survival, which might be the single word that defines my existence.
The grief surged with my every expelled breath, always reaching higher peaks, never sufficiently soothed by my long intakes of the damp air. Tears began to spill from my helpless eyes into nothing. These feelings engulfed me as my being and body didn’t emulate my commands because my mind was the only one present.
Right know I was given a chance for redemption something my mind chased for many years, something that was not driven by survival, this might be a chance for me to be defined by something else, something worth being defined by.
I answered with a low voice of despair,
" Yes I wish to be redeemed."
The being answered instantly like it was an answering machine and not something living or human for that matter,
"If that is the case, you have to play a game, a game of life and death, a game of heaven or hell"
I did not understand the meaning of the word said to me; maybe I have to do something to be able to go to heaven instead of hell. The word "game" put me off, even more surprising was that the sentence just spoken to me was written in perfect Siamese(Thai official language) like the being before me originated from my country, no, even the dialect was similar to my city.
Even though I was surprised, I nodded after a brief moment and in a flash the being disappeared even if I merely saw a shape of a shadow, it made me flinch in surprise.
-
Suddenly I woke up in which seem to be a forest, I saw forest and green grass as far as my eye could see. These were not normal trees, the size was easily as large as a fifteen story apartment building, and it seems that if you somehow decided climb one of them you could easily walk from tree to tree high up in the air.
The forest could be described lightly dark and foreboding, but there was peace in its sullen ambiance. My eyes flickered over the thick, dark green trunks of the trees that rose steadily into the sky, its branches interlocking with its neighbors like giant’s arms linked together protecting their home. The trees were densely packed together, leaving just enough space to allow someone to maneuver through. I pressed my palm against its rough bark, and breathed in the scent of the forest. The musty scent of leaves after rainfall, the warm soil packed against the earth by scurrying animals, the scent of things in different stages of blooming and growth. The smell of life and death. The forest was teeming with it.
I sent a command down my body and surprisingly rose to my feet, I felt very much alive, my body completely healed. I gazed down on my frame and could clearly see the scar at my left hand. That I unfortunately received when I unwillingly participated in a hectic knife fight.
It seem like stealing was not something the store owner at my small rugged village appreciated, the apple I took might have saved me from starvation but the knife wound was permanent, and during the time of my life appearance was precious. I seriously though some agency would pick me up and make me the next Brad Pitt, sadly that was not the case. Instead I went into assassination; this is not one transition I am subsequently proud of.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
As I came back from my visit down memory lane, I noticed that for some reason I was completely naked. I didn't even have underwear on me, I consider myself rather comfortable naked, but the breezes penetrating the thick tree line was cold sending chills down my spine.
There seemed to be nothing around to cover myself up with either, leaves was rather hard to cover up your body with and nothing else seemed to be ideal to use in this situation. I decided to not bother looking and started walking in one direction. Since I didn't know which direction was what, I could only hope that I would not walk in circles. The trees didn't even seem to have any defining features, there may be some farther up in the tree which could be used for navigation but I didn't feel it necessary to start climbing. Since there were trees as far as the eye could grasp, climbing would most likely provide more danger then opportunity.
After walking what I presumed to be at least 5 hours, I stopped; my stomach seemed to be growling after one thing, food. I didn't know if this world would even have hunger but it seems like every living organism need nutrient even if you travel across some distant world.
During my early childhood I lived in a small village which actually was located pretty deep inside a forest, even if I forgot most of what happened there I used to survive on the food that the forest provided and felt that I could probably do it in this world also.
But when I started looking around I realized one crucial thing, this is not earth, and therefore there were no recognizable vegetation. Except from the huge fifteen stories tall trees, there were plants and smaller trees about five meters tall sprouting in an amazing rainbow of colors. There seem to flowers covering the ground in some places, but for some reason they appear to be mostly white, maybe they are defining for this region.
Since there were no alternative I took one of the flowers and put it in my mouth. I had not eaten flowers back in my previous world but I assumed that this is probably how they would taste. A grassy and earthly substance spread across my mouth, leaving only a sour feeling in its wake. At least they didn't seem to be poisonous, I couldn't be certain of this fact either though; they might come back later to claim vengeance on my stomach. When thinking of these things I took a couple of more and forced down my throat. The flowers seem to have satisfied my hunger for now, but it seems like a safer alternative would be to widen the search range during my next meal.
After taking a brief break I continued to walk in what I presumed to be the same direction that I have walked along since coming here. As I strolled down the path the vegetation seemed to decrease a bit as the path which I walked along became wider. I could grasp and experience my surroundings for the first time, what I saw almost made me fall over in surprise, there seemed to be a lot of small animals present, which couldn't clearly be seen when I was traveling through the small path between every tree branches before.
There were some who looked like squirrels but smaller in stature and in a blue and white color, beetles of all different colors could now for the first time be seen crawling around the tree branches, there were also some larger creatures, looking like over grown cats. Fortunately it did not possess the ferocity or the killing intent of a tiger. In actuality nobody of these animals was appearing rather hostile towards me, maybe I being nude made them though I was some kind of jungle man, could it be that the movie Tarzan had finally been scientifically proven.
After me standing there for a minute observing, one of the cats walked up to me with a proud look on his face. Surprisingly the cat was giving me a big and wide smile, on earth I have never seen or heard of a cat smiling. With the creepy smile on his face the cat proceeded to intimidate with its body language, seems like it wanted to show its superiority over me or my race by flashing what could be presumed muscles. In response I went down to my knees, the cat seem to think that I did this in submission and continued to walk closer to me. It suddenly showed eyes of someone that looked at a prey just before it would consume it. Omnivores that was what I concluded at that moment, this creature was one and he would now proceed to eat me. When the cat reached arm length from me, I looked to the ground; I spotted a rather large stone, took it up in haste and smashed it against the cat’s skull.
The cat died instantly. I don't consider myself an animal hater, but survival is and has always been my true color.
The other cats suddenly got angry and proceeded to jump around screaming, but more like an ape then a cat, this world really is different and weird. I changed my gaze from the dead cat to the now raging cats and they suddenly stopped and stood still, turned around and left. I showed them the gaze of a killer, the gaze and cold face that my employer often commented on giving me a dangerous presence.
I took the cats body on my shoulder and continued my journey down the jungle path cutting my way through the dense, suffocating undergrowth which had appeared, fighting through the very air, which hung heavy, moist and still. Trees tall as fifteen story apartment building surrounded me, and a strange green light - almost holy - shimmered through the vast canopy of leaves. The forest seemed to have an intelligence of its own. Its voice was the sudden screech of a bird, the flicker of a monkey like creature swinging through the branches overhead. After what felt like another 5 hours I suddenly heard something, and it was not the sound of the birds or the crackly sound of the trees moving even so slightly, not the sound of animals running around, no this was real speech, words could be heard, words of a human being,
Or so I thought.