The calm and beautiful calling of the zither continued, yet Herman was beginning to enjoy it less and less. Instead, something was forming in his chest making him unable to breathe properly. To start with, he didn't even notice this weird pressure pushing on his chest, but it made itself know by constantly growing in strength. The relaxing mood created by the tea party and his acceptance into The Valley of the Fallen Blossoms crumbled before his eyes, as he couldn't breathe in the normal amount.
It was like something was stopping him from drawing a breath longer than just enough not to suffocate and the feeling was mind-numbing. The air insufficiency itself wasn't painful but was unbearable, just like he had something right in front of him, yet once he moved his hands to grab it, it's just out of reach. When he tried to force himself to breathe properly, a pain similar to needles moving around in his chest almost knocked him out.
While everyone was enjoying their tea, cookies, song, and dance, Herman was trying to enjoy that bit of air he couldn't seem to get anymore. He bent over forward, compressing his thoracic cavity in an attempt to calm the pain if, by any chance, some muscles or tissue has somehow been tangled, yet the pain only grew worse. Standing up and stretching didn't work either and besides the pain and shortness of breath, there was this feeling growing inside of him that he couldn't figure out.
Looking towards sect master Qian who was appeasing Yi Xuan, he bowed to the two of them and retreated outside the pavilion with shaky steps. While the two were confused, they didn't think about it further and continued their conversation. Herman on the other hand was getting worse and worse.
"What the hell is going on!? With the refinement I went through, any sort of normal disease shouldn't be able to affect me anymore. I am sure I wasn't poisoned either, since the cultivators of this sect could've just refused and kicked me out forcibly. F*CK! Don't tell me I developed some kind of asthma all of a sudden! That's not even remotely funny!!!"
Angry, he continued walking towards the sect's entrance, which this time served as his exit. Once back in the city, he found himself surrounded by a sea of people, each seemingly walking in a different direction. The pain got worse and the feeling threatened to affect his consciousness. Walking unsteadily with no particular destination in mind, he focused on his breath while trying to understand this weird sensation in his gut. It was fear for sure since he could feel it all the way down to his soul, but it wasn't just that. It was also the confusion of a high degree mixed in, just like something happened to make him that scared, but he couldn't remember what. Then things got even stranger! Besides those two, there was insecurity, grief, love, betrayal, hunger, happiness, and a strange tint of madness in it.
It felt like a yarn being slowly unraveled, but it had more than one thread to follow. Herman followed each, attempting to identify what the hell was going on, but instead, all these feelings aggravated and forced him out of his conscious state for a couple of seconds. Luckily, he pulled himself out of it just before he was about to fall to the ground and kept walking aimlessly. Slowly unraveling each thread, they vanished one by one, leaving behind just one black piece, seemingly blending with its dark surroundings. All other emotions cleared and in their place, another developed at an even faster pace: anger.
It didn't take long for him to realize that he needed to go somewhere fast and lock himself in there, after passing by a store with clear glass. His eyes were bloodshot and he was sure that he had minutes before losing himself to this endless rage. Heavens know what he would do then...
"This place..."
Unknowingly, his subconsciousness guided him to one possible place beside the prison where he could be contained and try to figure out what was happening to him. Training Villa!
[Welcome to our Training Villa of Mount Taihang! Customer, how can I help you?](?)
"...much?"
[I am sorry?](?)
"How... much!?"
[We charge per hour. 100 Spirit Stones for each hour spent inside a room.](?)
"Can I pay after I get out?"
[Sure, however a deposit of a minimum 500 Spirit Stones is required.](?)
"Here!"
After confirming the amount, even if the clerk felt that there was something wrong with this particular customer, he guided him to the closest room available and begun presenting how this room worked, given that the cultivation of his client was obviously at the Qi Gathering Realm. He was probably one of those cocky young masters that wanted to prove himself to his family or some lady, therefore came here to fight similar level, simulated opponents.
[All mister has to do is to vocally select the cultivation realm and the number of the opponents you want to face and they will appear. I would advise not to...](?)
"..out..."
[I am sorry?](?)
"GET OUT!!! NOW!!!"
While indignant at first and almost about to teach this little punk a lesson, the roar hit the clerk and chilled his soul. When he saw Herman's eyes, his knees almost gave out and collapsed on the spot. He looked like a beast on the verge of insanity! The hell is wrong with this kid!?
Not wanting to find out the answer to that last question while betting his own life on it, the clerk ran out of the room and locked it out from the outside. Seeing this, Herman forced a smile and squeezed out a few words.
"Gold core... 10 opponents... begin session!"
If the clerk would've heard those words, he would've undoubtedly doubted this customer's mental acumen. He was obviously at the early stages of the Qi Gathering realm and while it was true that you wouldn't die in a training room due to its default settings, you would still feel the pain of being beaten one breath away from death. Who would willingly get pummeled by ten Gold Core cultivators while only at the Qi Gathering realm?
The answer was: Herman! As soon as the opponents materialized out of the surrounding Qi, he forced in a long breath, clearing away any obstacles he previously had. With that breath, his consciousness also snapped and he fell into a sleep-like trance.
While in this state, he was somewhere familiar, yet he couldn't tell exactly where. It wasn't his spiritual world, because he would've seen blue skies and stars all around him, instead of this immense darkness. No... it wasn't darkness, but rather, nothingness. Now and then, he would feel a slight shock somewhere on his body, and with it, memories of his past life would surface. He remembered how happy he was after he ascended with some of his suffering friends that were also lacking talent just as much as he was. Then, he joined a sect for the first time and learned how to cultivate. The feeling you get once you breakthrough was not comparable to anything else in the world, so he worked hard to achieve that addictive emotion as many times as possible. He fought many times and lost most of them, making the group he gathered worried about their success in establishing themselves. Day by day, year by year, time passed by emotionless and unaware of his struggles. Many 'friends' left and new ones joined, but the struggle was constantly there to remind him how talentless he actually was.
When he achieved his first big breakthrough and reached the Nascent Soul realm, he ventured out for more resources with his newfound confidence. That's when he met the group of girls heading for The Valley of the Fallen Blossoms sect and saw them being kidnapped. He didn't remember it before, but it wasn't that he hid successfully from the ones that took the girls. That's because he didn't somehow evade the senses of the Nihility realm cultivator, but instead, he viewed him like an ant, impossible to impact their little operation in any way.
Multiple shocks kept making themselves known and Herman realized where all the anxiety was coming from. It was the fear of being given a second chance, yet achieving the same results as in his past life, trudging through the mud and barely scraping by. He was terrified of having to go through that again.
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"I thought that my mental demon was formed because of those girls being taken away... who knew..."
With a sigh, he realized that it wasn't because of them that the demon appeared in his mind since he must've subconsciously realized that there was nothing he could do about that situation, even if he was to act out against that group. He would've been killed in a heartbeat if he would've tried anything. So he did nothing about it and lowered his head in defeat like he had done many times before. Being spared didn't bring any relief, but only shame. That's why he created the alliance of those unable to be called anything but bottom-feeders, helping them get a higher standing in the Immortal World. That's why after his ascension, all his efforts were put into grooming weak cultivators into powerhouses, at the risk of his life every time. He did feel guilty, but it wasn't because of those girls. He felt that he owed something to someone, but it wasn't to those girls...
"It was all because of my lack of strength... the mental demon was already there, way before I met that group. I became aware of it only after that encounter though. I felt guilty because I used a group of weaklings to remind others that I'm not the only one. I sacrificed myself for my disciples, in the hope that they and the rest of the world would remember me in a more favorable light than... died because he was too weak..."
It is said that nobody can understand one better than oneself. All of these were true and Herman was aware of them since day one of his past life. The inferiority complex gained because of those ridiculous killer-whales was a result of himself overthinking. It wasn't just himself that struggled and he wasn't the weakest of the bunch. He was just... average. And he hated that!
So when he came back to the Immortal World, the anxiety didn't hit him at all until he relaxed his body and mind in the pavilion of the sect master. He didn't do that before because he knew he would probably encounter the Crimson Lotus gang and that he would have to somehow convince an entire girls-only sect to let him join. He was so tense, that he didn't even notice how tired and spent he was. That, combined with the anxiety of failing brought about this...
"...panic attack. I was having a panic attack... How laughable! Since when did hard work scare me this much? It's not like I am not aware of my capabilities... I know that I need to work tens of times harder than anyone else, even with my current amount of SJ. There's no way for hard work to beat talent, but it surely comes real close. I knew that, yet I still panicked... how embarrassing..."
With this sudden realization, the stuffy feeling in his chest lessened and his consciousness came back to him. He was in the middle of a field with corpses strewn around him. After a close look at himself, he realized that he was pretty much a walking corpse himself. His left arm was broken in four different places and was limp, half of his right foot was blown apart and there was nothing but bone to be seen, the fingers from his right hand were bent in a truly weird direction, and finally, there was a gaping hole through his abdomen, going all the way out to the back.
Thanks to his high Vitality, he was somehow still alive, yet only hanging by a thread. Calming down and doing his best to ignore the fact that he wasn't feeling any pain, probably due to his body going into shock, he stood on the ground in a meditating position.
He heard the door opening and the sound of a gasp could be heard as well. Two people entered, but he couldn't open his eyes to check who did the clerk brought. He could hear a strange sound of something melting and a breeze passing through his broken fingers, signifying that the simulation ended. Being made out of Qi, the simulated cultivators were no illusions, as could be easily seen from Herman's condition. With them melting back into Qi, it meant that someone other than him stopped the circuit.
His mind was not preoccupied with that though. He was only processing what he went through during his trip down memory lane and his waking up to the ten Golden Core cultivators that were torn apart limb from limb, in the most brutal and primordial way. Didn't he worry that he wasn't talented enough to catch up to the leaders of the pack? Wasn't he scared of being left behind again and unable to keep up with the growth of his disciples? How many prodigies could beat ten late-level Golden Core cultivators in a Training Room? Not just Golden Core cultivators that ate pills for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and had no battle experience at all, but rather, seasoned veterans Golden Core cultivators!
"Hahahahaha! How foolish! To think that I overthought the matter this much! Hahahaha!"
The sound of a boisterous laugh emanating pure and unbridled happiness shocked the facility manager and the girl in the blue dress. They were first taken aback when noticed the room settings before entering, as a Qi Gathering cultivator facing off versus ten late Gold Core ones. Then, they had their souls scared out of their bodies when they saw the condition the cultivator was in. There was almost impossible for that type of wound to appear on a customer unless the Training Room malfunctions. While the manager was scared out of his mind when thinking about how his Training Villa's reputation would be destroyed if word of this was to get out, the woman gasped after looking around.
The manager was also rudely awakened from his nightmare by that sound and saw the limbs, blood, and incomplete bodies thrown on the ground as if a tornado filled with swords passed through the room. Counting the heads, even the smashed ones, the manager reached ten. Ten? Ten... Gold Core cultivators? Also at the late levels!? And were destroyed to this state by a newbie that is at Qi Gathering I realm!?
It wasn't just the manager that found this impossible to believe, but the woman as well. This was simply unheard of, even if one was to fully demonize, grow ten extra limbs, and have a weapon at Level 9 for each said limb.
[This... Custodian Xuan, what in the world just happened here?](manager)
[Do not worry about the details manager Xie and make sure word of this doesn't get out. If word of your room malfunctioning and the customer having to fight for their life was to get out, you could go out of business. Go handle the matter and erase and recording of what happened in this room. I hope I don't have to repeat myself.](Yi Xuan)
[No need to worry Custodian Xuan! There is no recording talisman for this low-level Training Room and I will make sure that the clerk from before thinks that this customer here was simply beat by Qi Gathering cultivators. I can still handle at least this much. Thank you for trying to spare my reputation!](manager Xie)
[Uhm... now go! I need to heal this idiot...](Yi Xuan)
[Understood!](manager Xie)
Sighing and cursing still at the moron that was laughing so hard that blood was spilling out of him at an even faster pace, Yi Xuan took a pill out of her Inventory and looked at it with grieving eyes. This was one of her few treasures, a Tier 4 healing pill capable of mending even ripped off limbs of an Ensoulment realm cultivator. To use it on this nimrod was wasteful to say in the least.
[Maybe I should just let him die... That way, he wouldn't join my sect and Qian wouldn't force me to guide him. Something about being his 'first' guiding hand feels wrong...](Yi Xuan)
"Such an unreasonable woman... You do know that I can hear you, right?"
[You're an unreasonable woman! Your whole family is full of unreasonable women! Why should I waste a Tier 4 pill on you, just because you were stupid enough to suicide in a Training Room!? I haven't heard anything more ridiculous in my entire life...](Yi Xuan)
"Oh? Do you have a Life Return Tier 4 pill? That would be helpful to my current predicament indeed. What do you want to trade for it?"
[Pfft! Like you would have anything valuable enough to trade for it.](Yi Xuan)
"How about the promise to reward you heavily with resources after we ascend to the Heavenly Realm?"
[Who the hell would want to sign a master-servant contract with a huge pervert like you!? If you keep spouting nonsense, I'm going to let you die. I can give you this pill, but you need to leave the sect and...](Yi Xuan)
"Impossible!"
[What!? Why!? Aren't you afraid I'll let you die? I can just report back and say that your injuries were worst than expected. Is joining my sect more important than your life?](Yi Xuan)
"Yes!"
[Nonsense! You never even heard of us before. Is your lust overpowering your survival instincts even now? You can find girls to pickup everywhere else in the Immortal World. Why cling so strongly to something that it's not meant to be?](Yi Xuan)
"Because I just realized that if I start running now, I will keep running in the future as well. I don't want to do that ever again. I want to be able to hold my chin up while walking in the world, proud of what I managed to achieve, surrounded by companions I can trust. The cultivation path it's a lonely one, miss Xuan. Being alone can be quite scary at times and would lead you down a rabbit hole that's hard to get out of. Miss Xuan, I know what you are concerned about, however, I am truly interested only in getting powerful companions to help me down the road and growing stronger myself...*Cough**Cough*"
His rant was stopped short because of the sudden burst of blood coughing and once he calmed down a pill, was shoved down his throat. He smiled cheekily and looked the pretty but unreasonable woman straight in the eyes.
"And here I had more arguments to throw at you..."
[Hmpf!](Yi Xuan)
Herman smiled bitterly at the chopping hand heading for his neck. He couldn't exactly complain given how she just saved his life, but she could've at least waited until his wounds would've gotten a little better.
Unconsciousness came once again, greeting him with warmth and a sweet fragrance, as he let his body fall into her arms.