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1. Rebirth

Finally Free, I let out a relived sigh as I walked sluggishly. My feet hurt from a long day of work and my head was pounding relentlessly from the constant noise and chatter of the hospital as I made my way to the parking lot. I’m so tired.

Didn’t help that I had to work overtime, again! I gritted my teeth. I get that ever since Covid hit we are understaffed, but working 12 hours in layered masks and sweaty overalls is absolutely insane!

I stomped my foot furiously, remembering David's annoying know-it-all voice, ‘It’s so you don’t catch Covid’. I huffed in annoyance as I got in the car.

I sighed, absent-mindedly driving the car as my mind was still on my work. The job is not all bad. At least I’m doing good. I thought about all the patients I helped today. There was the young boy with leukemia who had just been admitted, the elderly man who had suffered a heart attack and the mother who had just given birth.

I had done my best to comfort and care for them all, but the constant demands of the job left me feeling drained. Having to deal with an understaffed unit and taking care of multiple patients on my own was just too stressful. I barely had any time to eat some food let alone use the restroom.

I reflected on how much I loved being a nurse and helping others, but I couldn’t help but feel a sense of burnout. I wished that there was more support for me and my colleagues, that I could have more control over my workload.

At least I won’t have to go back tomorrow. Not working on weekends meant I got to have some time to myself at last. The thought of finally finishing the fantasy novel I had been binge reading the last 2 days excited me, my mind grasping at the comfort after a hard day of work.

With a slight smile, I forgot about the worries clouding my mind and arrived at the parking lot near my apartment. Turning off the ignition, I eagerly stepped out of the car, remembering to take my bag this time. I wonder what’s for dinner? I thought to myself as my belly started rumbling.

I made my way to the apartment, shivering due to the freezing cold. Looking around, I noticed that the surroundings are exceptionally dark. The light of the lamp posts were already turned off. Weird, they shouldn’t be turned off at this time. Perhaps some electrical issue?

As I walked down the lightless street, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of fear creeping up on me. The shadows seemed to stretch and loom. I tried to tell myself that there's nothing to be afraid of, but my mind kept conjuring up images of lurking dangers.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something watching me, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. Every rustle of leaves or scuttle of a rodent made my heart race. I tried to keep my head down and focus on the path to my apartment, but the shadows seemed to be closing in on me. I tried to keep a steady pace, but my heart was pounding and my hands were clammy. I just wanted to make it to my apartment safely.

Getting the irrational fear that something was following me, I quickened my pace, speed walking as fast as I could go. I told myself it's just my imagination, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling of unease.

As I turned the corner, I heared quick steps, followed by a hand clamping down on my mouth, and a strong arm wrapping around my waist and arms. I tried my hardest to struggle my way out of his grasp, flailing with my body and even kicking him in his shin. His grip didn’t budge so I screamed, but the sound was muffled. Struggling fruitlessly, I realized with a sickening feeling that this was it. This was how I would die.

“You’re the first.” the monster whispered fervently in my ear.

Suddenly, I felt the cold metal of the knife as it pierced my neck. The pain was sharp and intense, like molten lava running through my vein. I could feel the warm rush of my own blood as it gushed like a broken dam, painting my clothes crimson red. I tried to scream, but only a gurgle came out as I suffocated on my own blood. My thoughts were jumbled and disoriented. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I tried flailing one last time against his grip, but I had no strength.

The monster let go of me and I fell on the cold sidewalk. I tried to put pressure on the wound but my arms didn’t listen. As the cold seeped into my body, I got a look at the bloodied face of my murderer. He kneeled on the ground beside me and caressed my face with glee and fascination. I looked past him into the starry sky, tears dripping off my eyes.

Feeling my consciousness slipping away, I can’t believe this is how it ends. I thought of my family, my friends, and all the things I would never get to do. I tried to hold on, but the darkness was too strong. I could feel my body going limp and my mind drifting away.

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I felt a sense of detachment from my body. My mind was still active, but it was as if I was watching from a distance. I tried to hold on to the memories of my life, but they were slightly blurred and fuzzy, like an old photograph that had been worn with time. It was like I was in a dream, but I knew that I wasn't.

The void was a strange place, it wasn't dark or light, it wasn't hot or cold, it wasn't anything. I felt like I was suspended in space, and yet, I wasn't moving. I tried to remember what happened, but the memories were foggy. I tried to make sense of what was happening, but it was like I was in a maze with no exit.

I felt a sense of peace, like all the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't feel any pain or sadness, but it wasn't a happy feeling either. It was like everything was on hold, like I was waiting for something. I tried to remember what I was waiting for, but it was like a word on the tip of my tongue that I couldn't quite recall.

The void was silent, and it was hard to tell if time was even passing. But I felt like I had been there for a long time. I tried to remember my loved ones, my family, my friends, but their faces were blurry and their voices were distant echoes. I tried to remember the good times, but they were like faded photographs. I tried to remember the bad times, but they were like distant memories.

I began to wonder if this was it, if this was the end. But something in the back of my mind told me that this was not the end, that there was something more. And that's what I was waiting for, that's what I was holding on to.

As I waited, I started to feel a sense of longing, a sense of yearning. It was like there was something on the other side of the void, something that was calling to me. And as I waited, I began to feel a sense of hope. That's when I realized that this was not the end, this was just the beginning. This was the void, the place between lives, where I would wait for my next journey.

As I waited, I started to have flashbacks of my past life, the good and the bad. Even though the memories were slightly blurred, I could still make out the choices I made and what led me to this point. And it was then that I realized that this was my chance to learn from my mistakes and make better choices in my next life.

I started to feel a sense of excitement as I thought about my next life and the possibilities it held. I started to wonder who I would be, what I would do, and what kind of person I would become. And I realized that this was my chance to start over, to be the person I always wanted to be.

But as I waited, I also realized that this was not just about me. I thought about the people I left behind, my loved ones, my family and friends, and I realized that this was also their chance to learn and grow from my passing. And I hoped that my passing would serve as a reminder for them to live their lives fully and to cherish the time they have with their loved ones.

As I drifted through the void, I felt a sense of movement, a pull towards something. At first, I wasn't sure what it was, but then I realized that I was being drawn towards a new destination. My heart raced with excitement and fear as I realized that this could be my chance to be reincarnated, and to keep my blurry yet infinitely precious memories with me.

As I got closer, I could feel the warmth and pulse of life. I realized that I was entering the womb of my new mother. I could feel the movement of my new body as it developed, and I could sense the connection I had to the life that surrounds me.

I focused all my energy on keeping my memories with me, as they were all that made me who I was. While holding onto them as tightly as I possibly could, I entered this new life. I could feel them becoming a part of me, a part of my new identity. I was determined to keep them, no matter the challenges I would face.

I could feel my new mother's love and care surrounding me, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude. I knew that this new life was a gift, and I was determined to make the most of it.

As I continued to grow and develop, I could feel my blurry memories come back to me, becoming more and more vivid. They shaped who I was and gave me a sense of purpose. I felt eager to be born now, with my memories by my side.

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As the warm waters of my mother's womb began to break, I was jolted awake from my peaceful slumber. I was confused and disoriented, wondering what was going on. I could feel the change in pressure and temperature, and I could sense my mother's body tensing up.

I started to panic, feeling like something was wrong. I could feel the water rushing out, and I could sense the outside world pressing in. The sudden influx of new sensations was overwhelming to my unused senses and I felt fear take control of me.

I heard the medical staff rushing around my mother, their voices urgent and panicked. Something seemed to be very wrong. I cried in confusion as I was disoriented, my untrained senses barely able to make out the situation. Someone took me in her embrace and there was a lot of screaming and hugging.

Time passed and having no tears left to shed, my energy waned and I fell asleep.

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Waking up sluggishly, I slowly gained awareness of my surroundings. Thoughts and actions came slowly to my underdeveloped brain and my senses felt inadequate. As I felt the softness of the blanket beneath me and a gentle rocking, I opened my eyes.

What greeted my sight first was the slightly blurred face of a fatigued looking woman dressed in what seemed to be a maid uniform with her eyes closed. She seemed tired, with dark circles under her eyes and hanging shoulders. She was the one rocking the cradle that I was in. As I watched her take care of me, I was reminded of my mother. Feeling a sense of loss, I started to cry.

Due to my shrill crying, the tired maid opened her eyes droopingly and quickly took me in her embrace. Softly whispering confusing words that I didn’t understand, she held me gently and slowly rocked my tiny self back and forth until I calmed down.

As I closed my eyes and tried to calm down to get my undisciplined emotions under control, I felt something soft touching my mouth. Opening my eyes, I could see that the maid was trying to feed me. Barely being able to control my own body, I instinctively opened my mouth and began suckling, feeling the tasty milk flowing into my mouth. As awkward as it was to be breastfed, I could feel myself calming down. As the maid was humming a calming tune, I fell asleep.

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