This is the last chapter of the first arc, and everything starts from here, including the romance part.

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I have done my best, so why? Why did they abandon me?

Since birth I did what my parents told me. I did everything, yet it was never enough. They never treated me like how other children were treated by their parents. Every action I made was for one purpose, to make my parents smile at me. But it never happened.

I was the best in everything that I did, yet my parents still found something that I lacked. As time passed I got used to how my parents treated me, but I kept doing my best, since the one thing I didn’t want was to disappoint them.

I was content with them looking at me. It was enough to keep me going. It was enough to ignore the people that hated me for being at the top.

I was kidnapped when I was nine, and at that age, I saw death for the first time. Not mine, but the life of those that kidnapped me. I was traumatized by it, and for the first time I desperately called for my parents, but I didn’t receive the care that I needed. All it did was make my parents disappointed.

I didn’t want that, so by myself, I overcame my trauma. Since then, my world became a mess. What kept me going was the thought of my parents having a change of heart, but everything fell apart when I got hit by a truck.

The little interest they had in me vanished. They spent more time with me than before, but it was all to keep their reputation. By then, I just gave up. I just went to where fate wanted me to go.

When I entered the game, I thought I was free. I could move again, I no longer had any responsibilities, but there was still something inside of me holding on to the idea that my parents actually love me.

Maybe they are worried, maybe they want me to return; those were the thoughts that kept entering my mind.

What if they don’t care? What if they are disappointed? Those were the thoughts that kept me from trying to beat the game.

Many were desperate, many were dying, many were asking for my help, but I ignored all of them, to stay longer in the only place where I could fool myself in to thinking that my parents actually care.

Was it wrong? Was it right? More questions entered my mind. When I could no longer endure the stress, I bought a pet, so I could at least feel that I wasn’t alone. I picked a rabbit-kin, which was also my race in the game.

I have a fascination with rabbits. I have liked them since I was small, and further liked them when my parents gave me one as a present. Was it because they love me? Was it a reward for something I did? Whatever the reason, it made me feel like I was loved.

Since then, rabbits remind me of the only memory I had where I was loved; regardless of my parents’ real intentions.

[]

With a crazed expression, I cried, remembering the thoughts that I tried to hide. My sadness further fueled my anger, making me lose all control over my body.

My body still fought, but it was like I was watching my body move. The man was strong, his raw power was lower than Zegan, but the way he used his power made him a more challenging foe. If I die here, will my parents cry?

More tears were shed, since I knew that there was no way they’d cry over my death. Why is it like this? I’m born from a wealthy family, I am smart, I am strong, yet why can’t I be happy like the others of my age?

Why can’t I smile like them? Why can’t I have friends like them? Why can’t I be loved by my family? Why can’t they see how much I’m trying for them? Why was I even born?

When the duration of berserk mode ended, the whole city was destroyed, the beast-kins were looking at me with fear, and I was crying while the enemy was desperately trying to kill me.

I was back to being a tank, so nothing he did was enough. Even if he killed me, there was still the immortality ring that could revive me.

The effect of his potions seems to be almost over, and his body was weakened from the damage he received while battling with me. It’s over, I just have to stand still and wait for him to die.

Why did I even fight? I could just have waited for him to weaken on his own. He could have killed me once, but the immortality ring would have taken care of it. Why am I even playing? Why am I even standing? Why am I even living?

“Just die already!”

Like he said, maybe I should just die. There isn’t anyone left that wants me. There isn’t anyone left that loves me.

I changed to my other set, making me much weaker than the man, making sure that I was weak enough to actually die. How stupid of me to take this long to understand…that there was no reason for me to live in this world.

I should thank berserk mode for stirring up my emotions. I guess it’s not so useless after all.

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Time slowed down, and I had a fast recollection of all the events that happened in my life. I felt regret, not because I was dying, not because it took a long time for me to kill myself, but because I never saw my parents smile at me sincerely.

I closed my eyes, shedding the last of my tear, accepting my death, wishing that in my next life, I would be loved by my parents. I waited for my death, but it never came. As I opened my eyes to check, I heard Fluffy’s voice.

“Please don’t cry master.”

I saw Fluffy standing in front of me, with the man’s corpse on the ground.

“Why, why did you interrupt him? Why didn’t you let me die?”

“I trained so I could protect master. I would have to die first before master does.”

“Kill me…just kill me…I don’t want to continue this any longer…”

“I won’t”

“Why!? You followed my orders earlier! So why won’t you follow my orders now!? Aren’t you my servant!? I order you to kill me!”

“I only let master fight since master was strong earlier. Now master isn’t, so I will protect master.”

“Please…just kill me-”

“And I also want to protect master from sadness. I don’t want to see master sad, I don’t want to see master cry.”

“…”

He wiped my tears with his hand and said “I want master to smile, I want master to be happy, I want to stay with master forever, since I love master.”

I was still sad, but I somehow felt relieved. Looking at his eyes shows that everything he said was the truth. Even if he was an npcs, his emotions were real, and I felt a bit of joy from hearing him say that he loves me.

My body was fine, but the mental stress made me feel drowsy.

Fluffy carried me on his arms and said “Please have some rest master.”

His voice made me feel at ease, and I was able to sleep in peace.

[]

When I woke up, a week has already passed. The people were busy fixing the city, with the tiger-kin guards fixing the mansion. The king died during the assault, and the news has already spread to the other cities.

Princess Aria survived the battle, and with Fluffy’s potions, she was able to her move her body. I forgot he was an alchemist. It doesn't suit him.

It seems her body was destroyed by Blood Release, so she can never fight again, at least until I gave her one of the strongest potions in the game: elixir. In an instant, she was back to her full strength.

The general that the king spoke of was also in the mansion, and he was saying that the war isn’t our first priority, but the chaos that the king’s death will cause to the kingdom. Even with the kingdom at war, the nobles will fight over who will be the next king.

Getting dragged in to a political battle seems troublesome, so I properly said that I won’t join in the kingdom’s conflicts. They accepted my answer and went back to the capital after a few days.

My name also spread, and the citizens that feared me during the fight now see me as a hero. They even want me to become the next queen. I won’t, being a queen is too much work.

With that, I spent my days with Fluffy, the two rabbit-kin butlers who miraculously survived, and the remaining tiger-kin guards. If I’m with him, then maybe, I still have a reason to live.

[]

~Draconian Territory~

“Lord Ashiria, please wake up.” Said a young man, with red horns and lizard-like tail, while tapping the shoulder of a sleeping girl.

“Five more years…” Said the girl with blonde hair, a scar on her left eye, black horns pointed upwards, and lizard-like tail, while scratching her back.

“You told me that five years ago. I won’t let you sleep any longer. The war is getting worse, and a new faction is starting to rise from the shadows.” The young man hit the bed where the girl was sleeping.

“New*yawn*…faction?” Said the girl while stretching her arms.

“Yes, they call themselves the Nevan Alliance-Don’t fall asleep!”

The girl fell to her bed and slept again. “ZZZZZ”

“Lord Ashiria!”

Despite how she acts, the girl is the ruler of the draconian race. She is strong enough to make the gods tremble in fear, but she doesn’t use her powers much. As long as her territory remains untouched, she won’t take actions.

She has lived for a long time. She was already present during the rebellion of the celestials and even then, she was feared. The world was at war, but everyone kept a distance from her territory, since they didn't want her, the Calamity Queen, to join the war.

The world doesn’t know of Alice, so the people thought Ashiria was the one who killed Zegan, since she was the only one who had the power to. Zegan trespassed on her domain, so she killed him, as simple as that.

It was only a false belief, but it was a fact that even Zegan didn’t want to cross paths with her.