In the newsroom, they hadn’t yet seen the prank. These were serious journalists who followed serious stories.

“Jim, I don’t know how else to say this,” said executive producer Jeff Stubbins. “We don’t believe in fucking fishmen! So stop pitching your ludicrous pipe dream story and let’s move on!”

But Jim couldn’t move on. He’d always been Mister Believable with a capital B—even when spinning corporate propaganda or scandalous lies. No one had ever doubted him—at least, until now. And that change, that loss of reputation, was driving him crazy.

“There were thirty people in that room, Jeff!” Jim spluttered. “Seasoned journalists! They all saw the fishmen, plain as day!”

“And yet, none of you trained media professionals brought back a single iota of footage. Not one measly clip!”

“I told you that was because of…”

“The octopi… that rose up out of the sea?” sneered line producer Lionel Goats.

“The people expect facts, Jim,” said Stubbins. “Fact-checked facts. This isn’t the fucking Joe Rogan Experience.”

Many present that day secretly wished it was the Joe Rogan Experience. At least then somebody would be watching. Everyone knew that legacy media was on its last legs. But those legs, though feeble, were too stubborn to just lie down and die.

New Zealand television had two competing news broadcasts, both battling for irrelevance. Jim bounced between them, milking the rivalry for the best paycheck, and was now earning far more than any rational accountant would justify.

“This is the biggest story in generations!” Jim blustered. “We’ve got fishmen! Sentient, talking, possibly world conquering fishmen! And you want to run another whinge piece about inflation? This right here could be our Moon Landing. A story like this could put legacy media back on the map!”

“A story like this will put us out of business,” snarled Stubbins. “We’re not reporting on fictional fucking fishmen! You’d have to be out of your goddamn mind to—"

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

***

“Gary! Rogan here!”

“Sorry, did you say Rogan?”

“Joe Rogan. Listen, I saw that prank on your channel—Fishmen vs Fisherman. And we were all laughing our asses off. But then, I got to wondering about the legitimacy of the creatures. Young Jamie, my producer, reckons they’re an effect or some kind of newfangled AI, but I remember having this evolutionary biologist on the pod, and he was saying… what if ancient aliens lived beneath the sea?”

“Right, um… what are you asking exactly?”

“I’m asking about the origins of these creatures. And also, like, are they for real?”

The response to the viral prank had been massive—fifteen million views and growing by the day. But seeing the creatures on screen and actually believing in them were two different things altogether. Logical commenters assumed that they were a special effect or the spawn of some ghastly new AI. You can’t believe everything you see these days, and let’s face it—fishmen are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Luckily, Gary was speaking to the one man who believed in almost anything—and had an audience willing to do the same.

“Don’t leave me hanging here, brother,” said Rogan, an I-want-to-believer from way back.

“If you’re asking if the fishmen are real,” said Gary, “the answer’s yes. One hundred percent.”

“Dude that is WIIIILD!” said Joe. And just like that, he was in. No fact-checking. No scepticism. Just full, unwavering belief.

“I’ve got, like, a bunch more questions. Can I speak to the creatures? Or do I have to go through you?”

Gary winced. Do I have to go through you? That hurt more than he was willing to admit. This was his shot at relevance, at actually being somebody, and already, he was being sidelined.

“You do, I’m afraid,” said Gary, taking the power back. “I’m their manager.”

“Right then. Can I ask—how old are the creatures?”

“I, uh... I’m not exactly sure.”

“You didn’t think to ask?”

“I mean, they said something about sleeping for untold eons, but again…”

“Do you think—and this is a little out there—but are they in anyway connected to the Lost City of Atlantis?”

“Yeah, we haven’t really discussed their backstory.”

“Why not? I mean, are you not curious?”

It was a valid question. Why hadn’t Gary delved into the origins of the creatures?

“Gary. Have you heard of Terrence McKenna’s Stoned Ape Theory?”

“I don’t think so. Why?”

“I mean, it’s probably connected somehow, right?”

“…Right.”

“Anyway, I’m gonna hit you with the real question. What’s it gonna take to get them on the pod?”

“Flights from New Zealand, for starters. And uh… I’d have to appear alongside them.”