Novels2Search
Rhythms of My School Life
Chapter 12: Something Wrong?

Chapter 12: Something Wrong?

Mizuha woke up in the morning as usual, after being absent for a two-day due to her fever. She changed into her school uniform and went downstairs to the ground floor of her house for breakfast.

“Good morning, Mom,” said Mizuha.

“Mizuha, good morning. Are you fully recovered now?” her mother asked.

“Yes, I’m completely recovered,” Mizuha replied, striking a playful bodybuilder pose.

Her mother chuckled. “Haha, I’m glad to see you’re back to being active.”

“Eat your breakfast now, or you’ll be late,” her mother added.

“Bon appétit,” Mizuha said before starting her meal.

“By the way, where’s Dad?” asked Mizuha.

“He’s still sleeping. He has the day off today, so let him rest a bit longer,” her mother explained.

“Oh, right. It’s so rare to see him not working on a weekday,” Mizuha commented.

“Thanks for the meal,” Mizuha said after finishing her breakfast. “Mom, I’m heading out now,” she added, grabbing her bag and putting on her shoes before leaving the house.

“Take care of yourself, honey,” her mother called out as she left.

As Mizuha walked her usual route from home to school, she noticed the petals of the cherry blossoms starting to fall. The leaves were beginning to turn green, signaling the end of spring and the approach of summer.

“Mizuha-chan!!” someone called her name from behind.

“Oh, Elly-chan, good morni—wait, Shimizu?” Mizuha exclaimed, shocked to realize it wasn’t Elly but Shimizu calling her.

She was stunned. Shimizu approached her so politely, her hair let down instead of tied up, and she walked like a typical rich girl, unlike her usual tomboyish self. She even wearing long thigh sock covering her leg. She doesn’t believe that her tomboyish friend turned into very polite girl like that.

“Wait, Shimizu, why are you dressed like that? Why are you being so polite? And you called me Mizuha-chan?” Mizuha asked, bewildered.

“What are you talking about, Mizuha-chan? This is how I dress every day,” Shimizu replied, twirling in her school uniform.

“I’m glad you’ve recovered. Please take care of yourself, okay?” Shimizu added in a very polite tone.

“Hey, stop joking around!” Mizuha said, upset, as she pulled Shimizu’s cheek.

“Ow, what are you doing? That hurts, Mizuha-chan, it hurts!” Shimizu protested. “How cruel you are, sob, sob,” Shimizu said, starting to shed tears.

“Huh, she crying?” said Mizuha shocked with that.

“What are you guys being so noisy about this morning?” said another person approaching from behind.

“Oh, Elly-chan, good morni—wait, what?” Mizuha exclaimed, shocked to see Elly. Elly was dressed in a tomboyish style, just like Shimizu usually does. Her inner shirt was unbuttoned, her blazer was open, and her hair was tied in a ponytail.

She was really shocked by her close friend's transformation from a timid, shy, and polite girl to someone who has become tomboyish. “What happened to you, Elly- chan” Mizuha was stunned.

“Look, it’s the infamous tomboy, Elly,” said two guys standing nearby.

I heard she just beat up three upperclassmen who annoyed her yesterday,” they said.

“What did you just call me? I’ll beat you up!” Elly shouted at them.

“Oh no, she’s mad! Run!” the guys yelled as they took off.

“Hey, Mizuha, glad to see you’re okay,” Elly said, speaking to Mizuha without using honorifics or being polite. She also yawns because feeling sleepy.

“Oh, thanks for…. worrying …about me,” Mizuha replied, feeling off balance because of Elly’s unusual way of talking.

“Oh no, not Elly too. What’s happening to them today? Are they playing a joke on me? What happened to them during my absence yesterday” Mizuha wondered to herself.

“Umm, Elly-chan, are you two playing a joke on me today?” Mizuha asked.

“Huh? What joke? What are you talking about, Mizuha?” Elly replied, confused.

“Yeah, you’re acting weird today, Mizuha-chan. Are you still feeling feverish?” Shimizu added while touching Mizuha forehead.

“Ah, you’re right. Maybe I’m not fully recovered from my fever yet,” said Mizuha, push Shimizu hands her forehead.

“Hmm, something smells delicious. What did you bring for us today, Shimizu?” asked Elly.

“It’s a secret! I’ll let you guys taste it later, like usual,” Shimizu replied while wink her eyes.

“Ah, I can’t wait to try your cooking,” Elly said eagerly. “Oh no, how long can I handle this?” Mizuha thought to herself. "Are they playing a prank to surprise me or what? But it can't be a prank—Elly would be too embarrassed to act like that," she wondered again.

Suddenly, another voice called out from behind, “Elly, Shimizu, good morning!” It was Zul, greeting them cheerfully.

“Huh? Zul, good morning,” Mizuha responded.

“Mizuha! I see you’ve recovered. Are you doing well today? Thank goodness!” Zul said, more talkative than usual.

“Wait, this is so weird. Zul is more talkative than usual… Could it be… he’s like them too?” Mizuha thought, lost for words.

Then, they noticed Hikaru walking alone in front of them. “Huh, it’s Hikaru. Hey, Hikaru!” called Elly.

“Oh, you guys… uh, good morning,” Hikaru replied in a quiet, lazy tone, much like Zul usually does.

“I knew it,” Mizuha thought, no longer shocked after seeing the strange behavior from Shimizu, Elly, and Zul earlier.

“Hikaru, thanks for visiting me 2 days ago. Mizuha said.

“Uh… yeah…” Hikaru mumbled.

“And thanks for bringing me the homework, and thanks for take care of me too.” Mizuha added.

“Uh… sure…” Hikaru replied.

Mizuha felt a bit upset by Hikaru’s vague responses. “Hey, do you like me?” Mizuha asked directly.

“No…” Hikaru replied, embarrassed.

Shimizu then whispered in Elly’s ear, “Hey, Elly-chan, is Mizuha acting a bit funny today?”

Elly replied, “I don’t know. Maybe there’s something wrong with her head after she became sick, that day” while looking at Mizuha.

“What are you two whispering to each other about me?" Mizuha said, feeling annoyed.

“Something wrong? I think she’s the same as usual,” Zul suddenly chimed in.

“Ah, move away, Zul! Why are you so clingy?” Elly said, kicking Zul’s back.

“What’s your problem, kicking me like that?” Zul snapped at Elly.

“You want to fight? Bring it on!” Elly shouted back.

“Hey, you two, you’re childhood friends, right? Please don’t fight, okay?” Shimizu said softly, trying to calm them down.

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing right now. Zul and Elly fighting? This is so rare. Usually, those two are the ones who don’t fight, while Hikaru and Shimizu do,” Mizuha thought. “I’d better just ignore them and play along if I need to.”

As they were approaching the school entrance, Shimizu suddenly stumbled and fell. "Shimizu!!" said Elly.

"Shimizu-chan, are you okay?" Mizuha asked, accidentally using an honorific with Shimizu's name.

Shimizu had injured her knee and was tearing up slightly. "It hurts..." she whimpered.

Elly then said, "Geez, why are you always so clumsy?"

Elly quickly checked Shimizu’s knee. "Ah, you’re bleeding a little. We need to treat it right away. Don’t worry—get on my back, and I’ll carry you to the nurse’s office."

"But Elly-chan, are you sure you can carry me?" Shimizu asked, feeling guilty.

“Hey, Elly, are you sure about this? She’s taller than you,” Mizuha exclaimed, surprised that Elly, with her small frame, was about to carry Shimizu, who was much taller. She now dropping honorifics for Elly.

“Don’t worry. My body may be short, but I’m really strong, you know,’ said Elly with a confident expression.”

“See, I can carry you!” Elly said confidently as Shimizu climbed onto her back. “This is so embarrassing, Elly-chan, please put me down” Shimizu muttered, blushing.

Elly Ignoring Shimizu request to put her down, “Alright, let’s go!” Elly said as she started running with Shimizu on her back.

“Hey, Elly, be careful while carrying Shimizu!!” Zul shouted, concerned.

“Wow, Elly is acting even more boyish and reckless than Shimizu usually does,” Mizuha thought to herself, feeling increasingly weirded out.

“Geez, that girl always does strange things like this ever since we were kids. What am I going to do with her?” Zul muttered, annoyed by Elly’s actions.

“It’s so rare to hear you complain like that,” Mizuha thought, surprised by Zul’s remark.

“Well, I’d better head to class first. I wonder what’s going to happen next,” Mizuha said to herself as she walked away.

Mizuha and Zul went to their respective classes, while Hikaru headed to his. When Mizuha arrived at her classroom with Zul, her classmates approached her. “Yuki-san, we heard you were sick a few days ago. Are you feeling better now?” they asked.

“I’m fine now. I’ve fully recovered, thanks for your concern,” Mizuha replied. “Huh, I feel relieved that the other classmates are still their usual selves,” she thought.

Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

Soon after, Shimizu and Elly arrived at the classroom after stopping at the nurse’s office to have Shimizu’s knee treated.

Mizuha rushed over to Shimizu to check on her. “Shimizu-chan, are you okay? How’s your knee?” she asked, concerned.

“Don’t worry, Mizuha-chan, it’s already been treated. Thanks to Elly-chan for that,” Shimizu said.

“Thank goodness,” Mizuha replied, still finding it unusual to see Shimizu speaking so politely.

Suddenly, some boys in her class approached Shimizu. “Hey, it’s our class princess, Shimizu-chan! How are you feeling today, Shimizu-chan? Can you give us your number? Shimizu-chan, here’s a flower for you,” said the group.

“Ah, I take back what I said about my class not changing earlier,” said Mizuha put her hand on her forehead.

“Umm… I… I…” Shimizu stammered, unable to speak properly with people she wasn’t acquainted with.

“Enough, you guys! Leave Toyama-san alone; she’s feeling really embarrassed right now,” said one of the girls in the class, coming to Shimizu’s rescue.

“Umm… thanks for saving me,” Shimizu said shyly.

“Ah, thank God, some of my classmates still haven’t changed,” Mizuha said, relieved.

Before returning to her seat, Mizuha stopped by Elly seat. Elly seemed preoccupied, mumbling to herself. “Thinking about ideas for your novel?” Mizuha asked spontaneously.

“Ah… I need something like…” Elly began, then suddenly exclaimed, “Huh!?” She grabbed Mizuha and whispered in her ear, “Hey, how did you know I’m writing a novel? I’m pretty sure I haven’t told anyone about it.”

“How did I know? I just guessed,” Mizuha said, shrugging. Actually, she had a clue because Shimizu often talked about writing novels.

Having overheard Shimizu talking about cooking earlier, Mizuha figured Elly might be writing a novel too.

“But please, Mizuha, don’t tell anyone, including Shimizu,” Elly pleaded.

“Okay, fine. I won’t say anything, so don’t worry,” Mizuha reassured her. She adjusted her tone to match the one she would use with Shimizu, who she usually spoke to more casually, unlike her usual tone with Elly.

After class began, the morning passed quickly, and soon it was time for lunch break. “Mizuha, let’s go to the rooftop as usual. I’ll call Hikaru to join us,” Zul said cheerfully. Mizuha couldn’t help but think, I really can’t get used to seeing Zul like this.

“It’s okay Zul, let me go to get him. You head up with Shimizu-chan and Elly first,” Mizuha suggested.

“Understood. See you there,” Zul replied before heading off.

Meanwhile, in Class 1B, Hikaru was fast asleep at his desk while Akemi tried to wake him up. “Hi... Hikaru... kun... please wake up... it’s time for lunch break... your friends... are waiting for you,” Akemi said softly, her voice shy and hesitant.

Mizuha arrived just in time to witness the scene. “Geez, he’s sleeping, and wait... is that Akemi? Why does she look so different? She’s acting really shy, just like Elly when I first met her. She’s the complete opposite of her usual, more social self. And why is she wearing glasses? Mizuha” wondered, puzzled by Akemi’s unusual behavior.

“M-Mizuha-chan... sorry, he won’t wake up...” Akemi stammered, her tone still shy.

“It’s so awkward to see Akemi like this... she actually looks kind of cute” Mizuha thought to herself.

“Don’t worry, Akemi, I’ll wake him up,” Mizuha said, walking over to Hikaru. Without hesitation, she knocked on Hikaru’s head with the palm of her hand.

“Ow! What was that for?” Hikaru exclaimed, instantly waking up.

“Good morning, sleeping prince. It’s lunch break, so get up already,” Mizuha said with a hint of irritation. “Grab your bento box and follow me.”

Hikaru groggily took out his bento box, and before he could fully wake up, Mizuha grabbed his hands it and started dragging him to the rooftop.

At the rooftop, the group began their lunch as usual. “Come on, Shimizu, show me what you’ve got for today!” Elly said eagerly, excited to see what Shimizu had brought.

“Elly-chan, please be patient, okay?” Shimizu replied with a smile and a small chuckle.

“Watch your manners, Elly,” Zul scolded, chopping her on the head with his palm.

“Ow! What was that for, Zul?” Elly snapped back.

“Haha, what’s with you two?” Mizuha couldn’t hold back her laughter as she watched the exchange.

“What are you laughing at, Mizuha?” Elly asked, clearly annoyed.

“Here it is! Today, I brought my special tamagoyaki,” Shimizu said proudly, revealing her bento.

“Oh, that’s what I’ve been waiting for—Shimizu’s special tamagoyaki! Bon appétit!” Elly exclaimed, eagerly taking a piece with her chopsticks.

“Mmm... delicious!” Elly said, savoring the taste.

“Shimizu, can I have some too?” Zul asked, eager to try it as well.

“Of course! Here you go, Mizuha-chan and Hikaru, I made some for you too,” Shimizu said, offering them the tamagoyaki.

“Ah, thanks, Shimizu-chan,” Mizuha replied.

“Bon appétit,” Mizuha said as she took a bite with her chopsticks.

“What is this? Why is it so delicious? How is Shimizu’s cooking better than mine?” Mizuha thought, stunned by the flavor.

“Umm, Shimizu-chan, are you sure you made this?” Mizuha asked, still in disbelief.

“What are you talking about, Mizuha-chan? Of course, I made it! You eat my cooking every day, right?” Shimizu replied with a smile and a chuckle.

“Alright, I give up. I can’t believe I’m losing even at cooking to this Shimizu,” Mizuha sighed, feeling defeated by her friends’ strange behavior.

“Here, Mizuha, have some of my hamburger steak. Cheer up a bit,” Hikaru said, placing a piece of his hamburger steak on Mizuha’s plate after noticing her mood.

“Oh, thanks, Hikaru. Bon appétit,” Mizuha said, feeling a bit better.

“Well, even him like this, at least he still takes care of me, as usual “Mizuha thought as she reflected on Hikaru’s gesture.

“Ah, I’m so full right now,” said Elly, finishing her bento with a laugh. “I feel so lazy right now, I just want to sleep,” she added, laying her head on Shimizu’s lap.

“Please don’t sleep here, Elly-chan, or you’ll turn into a lazy cow,” said Shimizu.

“Well, that’s what you do every day, Shimizu,” Mizuha muttered, disagreeing with Shimizu’s remark to Elly.

“Thanks for the food,” said Mizuha, finishing her bento as well. “Huh, Hikaru, are you going back to your class already?” Mizuha asked as Hikaru suddenly stood up.

“Ah, my class has PE after this, so I need to change into my sports clothes. See ya,” replied Hikaru as he left the rooftop.

“Well, I think we should return to class too,” said Zul.

“What’s our next subject?” asked Elly.

“Japanese Literature,” Mizuha replied spontaneously.

“Ah, not that! I really don’t like that subject,” groaned Elly.

“Hang in there, Elly-chan. It’s not as hard as you think. For me, I really don’t like mathematics,” said Shimizu.

“I know that, Shimizu. You’ve said it so many times before” Mizuha remarked.

“It’s time to head back to class,” suggested Zul after hearing the bell ring.

“Zul, give me your hand,” said Elly, feeling too lazy to stand up.

“Here, moves your lazy butt now!” said Zul, pulling Elly’s hand to force her up.

“Ow! What are you doing? I asked you properly, you know,” complained Elly, upset.

“Get up on your own, your lazy woman,” replied Zul angrily.

Mizuha couldn’t hold back anymore. “Hahaha, you two are really good childhood friends.”

Shimizu also chuckled. “You two are so funny, Elly-chan, Zul.”

“What are you two laughing at?” said both Zul and Elly at the same time, perfectly in sync.

“See, I told you.” said Mizuha, continuing to laugh.

After that, the four of them returned to their class for the next subject. Mizuha returned to her seat, preparing for the next lesson, but suddenly felt a headache and drowsiness.

“Why does my head feel so heavy? Why am I so sleepy all of a sudden? Am I still not fully recovered?” Mizuha muttered before passing out suddenly.

Zul, Elly, and Shimizu rushed to her side. “Mizuha-chan, wake up! Mizuha-chan!” cried Shimizu.

“Hey, Mizuha, wake up!” shouted Elly.

“I can’t hold on any longer. My sight is going dark,” Mizuha thought as she lost consciousness, no longer hearing their voices.

After a few seconds, she began to hear them again. “Mizuha-chan, wake up, it’s time for lunch,” said Elly.

“How long do you plan to sleep?” asked Shimizu.

Mizuha opened her eyes and saw Elly and Shimizu trying to wake her up.

“Thanks god, you wake up, we think you’re passed out again, like earlier,” said Shimizu.

“Ah, Shimizu-chan, Elly, what happened?” Mizuha asked groggily.

“You fall asleep when we having self-study earlier,” said Shimizu.

“Are you okay, right now, Mizuha-chan? Do you already full recover from your fever?” said Elly.

“Ah, I fine, thanks about that,” said Shimizu-chan, Elly.

“Huh!? Shimizu-chan?” Shimizu repeated, puzzled by Mizuha’s sudden use of the honorific for her name.

“Elly?” Elly also felt off about Mizuha dropping the honorifics for her.

“What are you talking about, Mizuha? Are you still dreaming?” laughed both Shimizu and Elly.

Mizuha noticed that both Elly and Shimizu had returned to their usual behavior. Elly was no longer tomboyish, and Shimizu was no longer polite like in her dream.

“Huh, was I dreaming all of this? Did you guys really change, or was it all just a dream?” Mizuha wondered, blushing. “This is so embarrassing,” Mizuha said, blushing and covering her face with her palms.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Did you have a nice nap?” Hikaru greeted as he arrived at the class to gather them for lunch at their usual spot.

“Hikaru, you’re back to normal too, thank god, I really don’t like you being like that” said Mizuha, relieved that Hikaru wasn’t lazy like in her dream.

“Huh? Back to normal? What happened to me in your dream?” asked Hikaru, confused.

“Zul, wake up. Why are you sleeping too? It’s lunchtime,” Hikaru said, trying to wake his best friend. “Ah, is it that time already, huh!?” said Zul in a sleepy tone.

“So, what did you dream about us, Mizuha-chan?” asked Elly. “Did you dream something funny? Please tell us, Mizuha,” added Shimizu.

“Oh, you really want to hear it? Alright, I’ll tell you about it later, hehehe” said Mizuha with a mischievous grin. “Mizuha-chan, your face, you face being scary,” said Elly.

After that, they headed to the rooftop for lunch as usual. Mizuha enjoyed telling them what happened in her dream, and they all laughed together.

“Really!? Shimizu turning into a feminine, polite girl? That’s hilarious!” said Hikaru, laughing.

“Ah, shut up, it’s not funny! Just like you turning into a lazy guy,” retorted Shimizu.

“Me, turning tomboyish and reckless like Shimizu-chan? Please stop, Mizuha-chan. I don’t want to hear about it anymore,” begged Elly. “Hey that so mean, I not reckless like that, you know,” said Shimizu.

“Oh, come on, Elly-chan. There’s still a lot more I want to tell you.” teased Mizuha to scare Elly.

“Enough with it, Mizuha-chan!!!” shouted Elly.

“Hmm, about Zul becoming more talkative and cheerful... I think there’s nothing wrong with that,” whispered Shimizu to Hikaru.

“Yeah, that’s right. I think that would be better for him,” Hikaru whispered back.

Zul, confused by Hikaru and Shimizu whispering to each other while looking at him, didn’t care what happened to him in Mizuha’s dream.

That was the weirdest dream Mizuha ever had. Her close friends had swapped roles with each other, but even so, she still enjoyed it, just like they were having fun as they usually do.

That evening after school, Takeru sat alone on a bench at the playground park, drinking juice he had bought from a nearby vending machine, remembering what Mizuha's mother had said to him two days ago: “From now on, don’t use the name Tak-kun when you interact with her.”

“Please, Tak-kun, promise not to tell her or her close friends,” Mizuha’s mother had added.

“Ah, I just met her after such a long time, and now it’s become complicated. What should I do, and how long can I keep this secret?” Takeru sighed. Suddenly, Mizuha passed by the area alone, on her way back from school to her house.

“The weather is getting hot recently, and my throat feels thirsty, I’d better stop here to buy a drink from that vending machine,” Mizuha said to herself. She bought her drink and then sat on another bench beside Takeru’s.

“Ah, there’s someone else... Who is she?” Takeru took a peek. “Eh, Mizuha-chan?! What’s she doing here?” he wondered as Mizuha suddenly sat beside his bench.

Mizuha noticed Takeru and suddenly spoke, “Ah, you’re... Hikaru’s classmate... Takeru, right?”

“Ah, yes, and you’re Mizuha, right? From earlier…” Takeru said, pretending not to be very acquainted with his old childhood friend. “It’s a coincidence to see you here,” he added.

“Yes, the weather’s a bit hot, so I stopped here to buy this,” Mizuha replied.

“Um, Mizuha-chan, I mean, Mizuha, I’m sorry for causing trouble during the lunch break three days ago. It was my mistake,” Takeru apologized, referring to when Mizuha had passed out.

“No, it wasn’t your fault. It was mine. My body was too weak that day, and I suddenly passed out, causing trouble for everyone,” Mizuha replied.

“Her mother right, she really doesn’t know what actually happened to her that day,” Takeru thought. The conversation suddenly fell silent, making Takeru feel awkward around his old childhood friend as Mizuha drank her juice without saying anything.

“Why did the conversation go silent all of a sudden? This feels so awkward. Calm down, Takeru; she’s your childhood friend, even if she doesn’t remember you anymore,” Takeru thought to himself.

Takeru suddenly continued the conversation to break the awkwardness. “Um, Mizuha, how about your condition? Are you fully recovered from your fever already?” he asked spontaneously.

“Yes, I fully recovered yesterday. Thanks for your concern,” Mizuha replied with a smile.

“Really, I glad to hear that” said Takeru.

Takeru then noticed a drawing pad that Mizuha was carrying. “Mizuha, what’s with that drawing pad? Do you like drawing?” Takeru asked.

“Oh, this? Yes, as you said, I really like drawing. I’d say it’s my hobby,” Mizuha chuckled.

“Then you don’t like reading books as much as you used to?” Takeru accidentally mentioned her past hobby without thinking.

“Reading? What are you talking about, Takeru?” Mizuha asked, confused.

“This is bad. Why did I bring that up? I wasn’t supposed to talk about her past,” Takeru thought, panicking.

“Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up. Please forget what I said, my bad” Takeru quickly apologized.

“Haha, Takeru, you’re so funny, and you really are a kind person. Somehow, I feel nostalgic talking to you like this,” Mizuha said with a chuckle.

“Mizuha-chan… Ah, I really missed seeing her smile like this. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her so cheerful like this,” Takeru thought. “You’ve really changed, huh? You’re no longer the same Mizuha I knew, the one who always chased after me when we were together back then. I’m glad to see you doing well now,” Takeru said.

“Um, Takeru, what’s wrong? You spaced out suddenly. Are you okay?” Mizuha asked.

“Ah, sorry, it’s nothing. I’m fine, thanks for your concern,” Takeru replied. “Mizuha, can we become friends from now on?” he asked.

“Sure, why not? I’m glad to hear that. Let’s get along, Takeru,” Mizuha said, offering her hand to shake.

“Me too, let’s get along,” Takeru said, accepting Mizuha’s hand and shaking it, marking the beginning of their new friendship.

After that, both of them exchanged contact information before heading home. “See you later, Mizuha,” Takeru said.

“See you later too, Takeru,” Mizuha replied.

As they parted ways, Takeru thought to himself, “Even if she no longer remembers me from her past, at least I can be her friend again, just like before.”

As Mizuha walked home from the park, she recalled the moment she shook hands with Takeru earlier and looked at her palm. “Why do I feel so nostalgic when I shook hands with him?” she wondered. Suddenly, a tear fell from her eye. “Eh, what is this? Why am I crying suddenly?” Mizuha said feeling off about that.

“This is bad, I’d better get home quickly.” Mizuha wiped her eyes and hurried back to her house, not wanting anyone that close to her see her crying.