Finn and his guard are sitting in the isolated room, 21X-V. They hardly look at each other. Finn tries to make small talk. “So, it’s Hilda, right? How’d you get this job?” She doesn’t reply. Then, Poe enters the room, nods, and she exits.

Finn immediately begins talking. “Every security system in the base is heavily guarded. If we’re gonna talk to someone in jail, we’ll have to mess with the security cameras and figure out how to access the solitary confinement chambers. They’re guarded by droids, so we gotta disable them, too.”

“Don’t worry, I got a way in.” He speaks into his transmitter. “HQ-7!”

The doors of the room begin to open, and Finn and Poe snap up to look at it. Nothing’s there.

Poe gets irritated, “HQ-7, I told you to come with me, not just open the doors!”

Finn looks skeptical. “Uh, you sure this guy can do it?”

“Trust me on this one. HQ-7 is a reliable guy, doesn’t let you down.” They wait for a few seconds, and HQ-7, a clunky fat droid, is finally at the door, and slowly begins to wheel itself in.

It’s so slow that even though Poe and Finn are only a few feet away, the droid still hasn’t reached them yet. Finn says, “Right...”

“HQ-7 may be no BB-8, but he knows how to screw with every security cam on the base, and the good thing is, no one in the Resistance is keeping an eye on him. He’s not in their systems. Leia got him so that whenever she wanted to skip out on a boring meeting, she’d tell him to set the sprinklers off, or something.”

Finn sighs. “Okay. But we’ll still need a way to access the solitary chambers.”

“Just let HQ-7 do it.”

“You sure he can get into them?”

“He’s done a pretty good job with cams and sprinklers.”

“But has he done high security prisons before?”

“I just said he’s done cams and sprinklers.”

Finn shakes his head and sighs, “Look, we need a better way.”

“You saying HQ-7 isn’t up to the task?”

“I’m saying the best thing we’ve seen it do so far is open a door!” He looks back to HQ-7, who is not even listening to their conversation. For whatever reason, it is trying to plug a square shaped rod into a hole in the wall.

Poe reluctantly agrees, and him and Finn think for a moment. Then, Finn lights up with a thought. “Hey, you ever see those two guys who look like us?”

“Um, Krait and Pinto?”

“No.”

“Weasel and Gin?”

“No! Those guys look nothing like us at all!”

“Oh! You mean Jim and Riff.”

“No idea who those guys are. They got prison guard badges?”

“Yep. Hey, you’re not suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, are you?”

“All the consoles are heavily guarded. All except one.”

“Old man Dunwick’s.”

“He annoyed the senior officers so much, asking for a real console, that they just gave him the most defunct one. But it still works. They just always monitor him on the cams. Plus, they know that Dunwick isn’t gonna let anyone he doesn’t trust go anywhere near that console.”

“Everyone knows Dunwick is pals with all the prison guards because they let him eat the leftover prison food!”

“Exactly. We’ll just get Hilda to fetch us some prison guard uniforms and fix us up with fake IDs. We just gotta look the part and not bump into the real ones.”

Poe laughs. “This is crazy. You want me to pretend to be Jim? Or do you want to pretend to be Riff?”

“Dunwick is senile so he won’t remember a thing. We just gotta eavesdrop on Jim, Riff and Dunwick, and get the old guy to think we know all their inside jokes.”

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“Whoa there,” Poe chuckles, “Hold up, that’s not gonna work.”

“Why not?”

“What if someone stops me in Jim’s uniform before I get to Dunwick? Jim’s got way too much swagger.”

“Er, how’s that a problem? You’re Poe, the Ace of Space, aren’t you?”

Poe shakes his head. “Not anymore.”

“Just loosen up and you’ll be back in no time.”

Poe throws his hands up in the air. “It’s not that easy! Ever since they demoted me, I’ve been trying to get more serious, to show them I won’t screw around. I’ve hung around Gnovian so long that I can barely cook up a joke anymore. Heck, now I just cringe every time I try to crack one.”

“Then let me handle it. I’ll be Riff.”

Poe sighs. “Riff’s got swagger, too.”

“Well, maybe I’ve got more than you now.”

“Ha, they teach you how to talk up a room in the First Order? What class was that for, the pep rallies?”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

The scene shifts. Finn is now walking in a prison guard uniform . HQ-7 has trouble plugging the right rod into the wall, and Poe yells at it trying to get it to work right. Finally, it succeeds and the cams leading up to Dunwick are hacked into. Poe speaks into a transmitter to Finn, who has an ear piece on, “You’re all clear. Jim and Riff are in another sector, and I’ve got you on a route with no patrols.”

Poe guides Finn along, but just then, he says, “Oh no.”

“What’s wrong?” Finn asks.

“HQ-7 messed up our tracking systems a little. Someone’s just ahead. You gotta turn back!”

But it’s too late. A guard runs into Finn. The guard laughs. “Riff! How the hell have you been? Been a while, huh? Didn’t know you patrolled this area at this time of the day!”

Finn nervously speaks up, “Well, don’t tell anyone, but I’m supposed to be in G-6. The prisoners there are way too loud though. I told one of my interns to take over and I’m out here for a breather.”

Poe chuckles, “Just like we rehearsed, buddy.”

The guard squints at him, but then laughs again. “Haha, no worries. I do that from time to time too. Those interns sure are useful, aren’t they?”

“Sure are.”

The guard continues, “Say, did you watch the big game yesterday? I know you’re a big fan of the Krumbos!”

Finn freezes. Poe mouths, “Oh, crap.”

Finn tries to laugh it off, “Hell yeah, I sure did!” He tries to remember what he heard about the big game. While rambling on, he goes through a bunch of random hand motions, looking from side to side and mostly avoiding eye contact. “When the Gonzo hit the Crabbu, I was like ‘Wha...?’ and then they got to the rings and Elstein jumped all the way over, and I was just shouting “No!”. Then the Baff just flew straight down, and I shook my head and just said ‘Wow.’ Just... uh... ‘wow’,” he ends in an unconvincing whisper.

He looks up, and the guard has a perplexed look on his face. He says, “Uh, Baffs can’t fly.”

Finn stiffens, and his mind starts racing. He starts stuttering, “Um, I know that! Just an expression, you know.”

“And Baffs are on the bench this season.”

“Huh...”

There is an awkward pause. But just then, Finn hears, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bill!”

The guard’s face lights up and he shouts, “Jim!” Poe is there with a prison guard uniform. The two bro hug it out.

Poe turns to Finn and says, “Riff! I was looking all over for ya! Had too many of those Entu berries, didn’t ya?”

Bill exclaims, “Wow. You managed to sneak a few onto the ship?”

Poe chuckles, “Yep, just as we got off Entuine, we brought a couple of those bad boys along for the ride.”

Bill shakes his head and chuckles too, “Well, I’m surprised Riff can still put on his uniform. Last time I had those, I found myself stumbling into Gnovian’s chambers, and started talking to him about my favorite blue milk recipes.”

“What’d he think about them?”

“He said he’d consider trying one some time.” They pause, and the two burst out laughing, while Finn is standing there in utter confusion.

Bill continues, “So what’d you think about the big game last night?”

“Well, when the Kratu hit the Mesmohoffs,, I was like ‘Wha...?’ and then they got to the rings and Rickto jumped all the way over, and I was just shouting “No!”. Then the Harlicker flew straight down, and I shook my head and just said ‘Wow.’ Just... ‘wow’,” he ends in a dashing tone, looking off into the distance.

“That was definitely the best part!” Bill exclaims. “Ha! Well, it was great bumping into you two. I’ve got a patrol to get to.”

Poe replies, “We’ll just be hanging out around here while our interns got our backs in G-6.”

“Huh,” Bill says, “Well I guess Riff wasn’t wrong about that part. Don’t worry; I won’t tell anyone you guys are here.” He waves his hand in front of Finn, who gets visibly annoyed. Bill tells him, “Just don’t go taking any more of that Entu stuff, and ESPECIALLY don’t mix it with blue milk.” Then Bill walks away.

Finn turns to Poe, bewildered. “How’d you do that? I said the exact same stuff!”

“Well, first off, you gotta brush up on your Nomballing knowledge,” Poe says.

“The First Order didn’t allow us to watch Nomballing, the channels it was on had too many New Republic ads. We only had Lom Racing.”

Poe is repulsed, “That’s the worst sport. And also, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it.” Finn sighs, and they continue walking up to Dunwick’s room.

When they get there, they see Dunwick fiddling with a bustled up old console. Finn squints and tries to make out what the controls are, but has a hard time doing so. Poe whispers to him, “You think I should distract him, and you get on that console.”

“No way. Not only are those controls outdated, but Dunwick messed with them so much that I have no idea what they do. The officers must’ve known that no one but Dunwick can screw with it. We’ll just have to convince him to let us in.”

“Riff? Jim?” Dunwick says, peering at the two.

Poe coughs and says, “How’ve you been?”

Much to Poe’s surprise, Dunwick yells “Where the hell are my snacks!?!”

“I’ve got them right here,” Finn tells Dunwick. He hands him a weird looking thing, and Dunwick snatches it and eats it. He sighs, “Ah, much better. I get cranky without my daily solid blue milk.”

Poe laughs and says, “Well, you can’t be crankier than Lartha!”

Dunwick guffaws. “Ah, you kids keep me young. What can I do for ya?”

“We’re looking to go into solitary confinement cell number 82,” Poe replies.

“You’ve got it,” Dunwick says and winks at him.