The yard was quiet but for the gentle breeze blowing through. Natalin stared at the block of ice in front of her, aghast.
“Wind and wave. Godsdamn it,” she whispered, feeling the blood drain from her face. “Mostyn! A-Are you there? Can you-”
“I’m fine.”
Her shoulders drooped at the sound of the captain’s voice, low and irritated. Relief washed over her. As she watched, the blade quivered, trembling in its icy sheath.
“I’m sorry,” Natalin said, shaking her head. “I-I didn’t mean to. Are you...all right?” The relief was fading just as quickly as it had come, replaced by shame. Gerd had said it over and over and over again. Control. Control was the most important part of her magic. Lose hold on it, and she’d be just as dangerous as a typhoon or a blizzard. She’d laughed at him.
Creeping around the mass of ice, seeing the frost coating Mostyn’s gloves and knowing just how close he’d come to being frozen along with his sword, she couldn’t shake off Gerd’s lesson so easily.
“I’m fine, miss,” the riverguard said, a little softer. He watched her for a moment, his eyes losing their cold, hard edge, and then he went back to prying at his sword. “Only- you kind of…” His words vanished as he gritted his teeth, heaving hard. “I kind of need my-”
“R-Right,” she said, the words falling from her in a rush as her need to make amends burned brighter. Her hand came up, sweeping the ice free with a wave as she let her hold on her mana fall away.
The ice fell away, too, collapsing to chilled water that stained the flagstones of their practice yard. Mostyn yelped, overbalancing as the sword came free out of nowhere. He hit the ground hard a moment later.
What little color was left in her face vanished instantly. “Gods - Mostyn. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he said, pasting a smile onto his face as he sat back, rubbing his leg. “It’s...part of the job. Right?”
Her mouth hung open for a second, her expression twisting, and then she groaned, her shoulders slumping. “...Right.”
“Don’t worry yourself on my account, mistress.”
“It’s Natalin,” she mumbled. She knew it was hopeless. Mostyn had never actually called her by her given name - only ‘mistress’, or ‘miss’, if he was feeling informal. The captain had never quite known how to handle her, she knew. He was too used to the brusque, no-nonsense lifestyle of the Riverguard. Being handed a thirteen year old girl and told to get her in fighting shape was simply too far from what he’d expected out of life.
But as he pushed himself upright, biting back a pained grunt, his lips pressed into a thin line. Retrieving his sword, he slipped it back into its sheath. And then he turned to Natalin, no longer smiling even a little.
“Now. What was your mistake?”
“Not expecting you to be inhumanly fast.”
“Mistress. Take this seriously.”
Natalin rolled her eyes, resting her staff on the ground like a walking stick. Her shoulders drooped further. “I was watching your eyes.”
“And you should have been…”
“Watching your chest,” she muttered.
“Better. Then what?”
Her ears burned. Sourly, she noted just how quickly shock had turned into humiliation. “I lost control.”
“You did,” Mostyn murmured, his tone quieter. “You’re wound up- I mean...you’re frustrated. I can see that, and it’s only natural, considering the pompous ass you’ve got to deal with.” His face flushed to red in a single instant as what he’d just said finally sank in. “N-Not that Diviner Gerd isn’t a fine teacher! But, he’s…” He shook his head, finally abandoning the words with a groan. His face glowed with heat.
When he tried again a moment later, his eyes were fixed on her, his embarrassment pushed aside. “You can’t fall back on being angry as an excuse, miss. A mistake is a mistake. If you can’t keep your own magecraft in check…” He trailed off, letting silence hang between them. He wasn’t a seer. From what she’d seen, the young captain didn’t have much by way of magic to his name at all, if anything. Both of them knew that he wasn’t going to be the one to fix that little mistake.
He made a face, rubbing his eyes with his hand. “When’re you seeing the diviner next?”
Her cheeks were joining her ears. “Was supposed to be today,” she mumbled. “Gerd canceled the seers’ lessons because of the Narai’s visit.”
“Ah.”
The silence resumed. She stared at her feet, kicking a stone across the temple’s yard. Normally, she studied magic with the seers, tagging onto their classes and practice sessions alongside whatever personalized attention she got from Gerd. It never ended - one training session after another. She’d been thankful that the steward had been too occupied with the upcoming festivities to lecture her yet again on control and finesse. Now, she just felt humiliated.
Mostyn cleared his throat. “Well. No sense dwelling on it, then,” he mumbled, his face going red. She glanced up at him, her anxiety beginning to fade at the bemused expression he wore. He was an excellent fighter, and a good leader to his men - but left alone with her outside of their sparring sessions, and he’d melt away into a puddle of nervous respect. His piety and devotion to the Waterbinder was honorable, and it served him well in the Riverguard. She wasn’t thrilled with it being applied to her as well, but since it meant she could have a bit of fun now and again, she tolerated it.
“Sorry,” she said again.
“Don’t worry yourself over the likes of me, miss,” he said, finally meeting her eyes again as a crooked smile crept onto his face. “Now, unless you’re wanting to have another go, I think you should-”
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
“You’ve met the Narai, yes?” Natalin said, stumbling forward as she heard the start of his dismissal. Leaving would just mean more chores, and she couldn’t bear the thought of going back to more meaningless busywork. Talk of the fire goddess’s mountainous folk was easier - the people who would all too soon be at their temple, her counterpart at their head.
Mostyn stopped, his brow furrowing. “Well...I have, yes. Some of them, anyhow. Can’t really meet a whole country, can I?” He chuckled nervously. Natalin didn’t.
She leaned back on her heels. “What are they like?” She tried to keep the excitement from her tone, the sparkle from her eyes, but she knew that much was hopeless.
Mostyn raised a hand, running it through his hair as he made a face. “They’re just loud, mostly. You’ll be safe here, mistress. No one would let anything happen.”
“I’m not afraid,” Natalin said, her face flushing. She wasn’t a child- well, all right, she was, but that didn’t mean she had to act like one. “I-I just...I just wanted to know. Before they get here.” Her voice fell as she finished. She didn’t really know what she was looking for, what she expected from the captain. She just knew that they were foreign and unknown, and that every time she’d asked Gerd, he’d scowled at her and told her she should worry about her studies, not another god’s people.
The captain hesitated again, his mouth sliding open. And then he sighed, making a face. She just stared at him, waiting expectantly.
“It’s not really my place,” he mumbled. “I’m sure Steward Gerd wouldn’t want me filling your head with stories.”
“Oh, come on,” she said, her free hand balling into a fist. “You’ve got to be able to tell me something.”
“Sorry, mistress,” he said, eyeing the ground again. Just like that, the wall was back in place, the damned propriety that stood between her and everyone she talked to. “I’m sure Remi has something else what needs doing,” he muttered, backpedaling. “You should see her. I need to- I should check the patrols again, afore they arrive. If you’ll excuse me, mistress.”
“Wait, you can’t-”
It was useless. Mostyn didn’t slow, didn’t turn back to look at her. He was gone a few seconds later, almost charging out of the practice yard. Natalin slowly lowered the hand she’d raised, beginning to scowl.
“Godsdamned coward,” she whispered under her breath, glaring after him.
A weight landed on her shoulders a moment later. “Now, really, girl. Don’t blame him. He’s just doing his duty.”
“His duty is stupid. It was just a question.”
“Are you sure you’re not just trying to escape more work?”
At the sound of his low chuckle, Natalin turned, her scowl growing. Efren grinned down at her, his hands still gripping her shoulders. “My sister will be here soon enough. Don’t get yourself into a panic over nothing.”
“I just wanted to know,” she said, her eyes fixed on his.
His grin widened. “And you will. There’s nothing to say, waterlily. They’re people, just like any other nation. That’s all.”
“They’re totally different.”
“Well, I suppose they are Shiina’s. They can be a handful, now and again. Can’t we all?”
“You can’t just say that and expect me to not-”
“Yes, yes. It’s all new. I understand.”
“Don’t patronize me,” she snapped, glaring right back.
He withdrew his hands, dancing back a step. “Fine. Fine! Just be patient, dearest child of mine.” His grin gleamed white in the bright afternoon air. “Now, you should hurry. I do believe Remi set Lenna to getting your dress ready. I’m sure they’d appreciate getting one last fitting in. And the cooks needed help peeling another bushel of-”
Natalin spun on her heel, stalking out of the yard before he could taunt her further. His laughter followed in her wake.
A dress. Gerd, with his infinite lessons. And still more chores. Her head spun. She stalked through the halls back towards her room, nodding curtly at the seers rushing past. Another Ascended, and another Divine - this time, here to visit and to stay. Everything would be perfect, she knew. There was no alternative if the stern headswoman had anything to say about it.
She scarcely realized that she was nearly to her room, didn’t hear the voice calling her name until a hand landed on her shoulder. She whipped around, her mouth falling open as she readied another retort. Efren was kind-hearted and friendly enough, but he didn’t come with a way to turn him off. His constant presence in the back of her mind had been there as long as she remembered, and she didn’t mind it, but there was a limit to how much he could expect to harass her.
Gerd stared back at her, his thin face long. His lips were pressed together into a thin, disapproving line. “Where are you going?” he said, glaring at her. “I believe I already discussed the day’s schedule with you.”
Natalin leaned back, blanching white again. He had. She remembered, after he said it. He’d laid the whole mess out that morning. “Master Hendrem. I-I completely forgot.” Her instructor in trade and merchant’s affairs. He’d seemed every bit as humorless as Gerd at first, right up until she’d seen he was just very, very dry. She liked the man well enough, but the thought of trying to focus on numbers and maps right then made her stomach churn.
The diviner must have seen the look in her eyes. He sighed, fixing his solemn gaze on her. “Are you all right, Tideborn?”
“I’m fine,” she said, staring at the ground. She was fine. She’d manage. It was expected of her.
Her eyes snapped back up at the sound of him chuckling. Gerd. Laughing. He rolled his eyes at the confused look on his face, spreading his hands helplessly. “Waterbinder help us,” he murmured. “Very well. The delegation will arrive shortly before sundown, if our estimations are correct.”
Natalin straightened, a shiver running through her limbs. From the way he said that, it almost sounded like-
“Then-”
“I’ll explain the matter to Hendrem. Go cool your head,” Gerd said, an indulgent smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “We can’t have our Ascended losing her temper in front of our counterparts, hmm?”
Slowly, her smile grew to match his. “Yes. Yes, of course! I’ll just- I’ll go rest a little.”
“Good. See that you do.” He drew breath, readying another command, but she was off before he could add another few clauses to his instructions. Her feet pounded against the wooden floor as she raced down the temple’s halls, making a beeline for her room.
Once inside, she slammed the door shut, letting the breath she’d been holding in finally slip out. There. A bit of calm, a bit of quiet. She savored the feeling of not having anyone breathing down her neck for once. Her bed waited in the corner. She stared at it, chewing her lip. It would be a long night, she knew - If the delegation was arriving at sundown, then the festivities would carry on well past midnight. She knew Efren well enough to know that.
A pair of lips brushed her cheek. She flinched back, pressing a hand to her face where the water god’s goatee had prickled at her. His low chuckle rumbled in her ears.
She really should take the chance to rest, like she’d told Gerd. And yet, with foreign dignitaries in her temple, she’d probably get even less time to herself over the next week or two than she had right then.
Gerd had told her to go cool her head. She stared at the wall, mulling his words over. The thought that had occurred to her certainly wasn’t what he’d intended.
But it was what he’d said. And besides, he’d never notice. Sundown was still hours off.
What are you doing, now? Efren whispered in her ear.
She froze. Nothing.
He chuckled again. She wilted. Lying to him was useless. He’d be able to tell a lie like that as soon as she’d thought it, and when he had full, unrestrained access to her thoughts and mind, there was no sense in even trying. It’s just for a little bit. I won’t get in any fights.
Now, waterlily-
If I get caught, it’s on me.
Oh, well. That makes things easier. So long as you understand that much, it’s fine, I suppose.
Natalin blinked. Really? It was that simple? But her mind was peacefully quiet, the god’s whispers having stopped as quickly as they’d started. She lingered a moment longer, half expecting him to rescind his allowance and tell her to get the rest she’d promised Gerd. When he kept his silence, fading out from the back of her mind instead, she threw herself at the door.
The service door waited. She cracked the lock open even faster than she had before. Within seconds she was out in the sunlight, creeping towards the harbor’s clear, warm waters.