"Tell my mom I'll do the dishes later!!!" Ryo yelled, as the eerie green sigil on his chest pulsed ominously. Before he could even think about the questionable timing of his declaration, the world around him began to twist and stretch like a funhouse mirror.

One second, he was lounging on his couch, buried under fast food wrappers and laundry, the next he was floating in a cosmic void, surrounded by endless galaxies and nebulae that looked straight out of a cheesy sci-fi movie poster.

Before he could process what was happening, the "floor"—if that's what you could call it—shifted beneath him. He stumbled, but miraculously managed not to fall, which was impressive given his usual lack of coordination.

Orion, now standing atop a floating rock (because naturally, that's how cosmic beings travel), peered down at him. His robes glittered with an almost excessive amount of drama, and his voice boomed with the kind of authority usually reserved for 90s cartoon villains.

"Welcome, Ryo Tanaka! You have entered the first stage of the Game of Eternities. To succeed, you must conquer realms, defeat powerful foes, and unlock your true potential!"

Ryo squinted up at the stars, still in disbelief. "So… I'm stuck in some weird dimension, and you want me to... fight stuff? Sounds a bit much for someone who can barely get through a shift without getting distracted by the snack aisle."

"Do not worry, mortal!" Orion exclaimed, sweeping his arms dramatically. "Your unique qualities—"

"Yeah, you've been saying that," Ryo interrupted, trying to get a grip on his surroundings. "But let's slow down for a sec. I'm not exactly the 'save the universe' type. More of a 'grab some chips and hope it all works out' kind of guy."

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Orion faltered for a moment, then muttered, "You will... grow into your power."

Before Ryo could shoot back with another snarky remark, the cosmic void shimmered, and a massive neon sign appeared in front of him, complete with flashing lights and sparkles that could only be described as "confetti magic."

It read: "LEVEL ONE: FIGHT FOR THE FUTURE OF THE MULTIVERSE!"

"Wait, is that a quest board?" Ryo blinked, rubbing his eyes, trying to shake off the confusion.

The sign flickered and quickly changed: "Defeat the Chaos Golem to progress."

Ryo stared at it, then glanced back at Orion. "Did I just get handed a side quest? I thought I was supposed to be the main character here!"

Orion's eyes glowed brighter, clearly losing patience. "Focus, mortal! You must defeat the Chaos Golem to move forward."

Ryo groaned. "Alright, alright. But do I at least get something cool? Like a sword or a mech suit?"

Orion raised an eyebrow, as the stars behind him flickered as if they were judging Ryo's lack of seriousness. "You will unlock your powers in time."

Ryo sighed dramatically. "Right, so 'in time' means 'when the universe is about to end, and I have no idea how to stop it.'"

A deep laugh reverberated through the cosmic space. "Something like that."

Before Ryo could ask for a tutorial on cosmic battles or even a simple explanation of what a Chaos Golem was, the ground—if it could even be called that—began to tremble. A colossal shadow loomed ahead, and the air screeched with a terrifying, mechanical sound.

"Great, a giant golem. Just what I needed," Ryo muttered, staring down at the glowing sigil still pulsing on his chest. "Just once, I'd like to take a nap without being dragged into some make belief games of some bored old fogeys"

The Chaos Golem, with eyes glowing like molten lava and limbs made of jagged, twisting metal, took another step, sending shockwaves through the void. It raised one enormous hand, preparing to swat Ryo like a fly.

Ryo blinked at the approaching behemoth, then without missing a beat, threw his hands up.

"I guess I'll do the dishes later, huh?"

Before he could even finish the sentence and process what had happened, a searing pain shot through his left side. "ARGHHHHHH!!!!!" Ryo cried out harshly.