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Return to You Who is Lost [BL]
Chapter 1: Refracted mirror

Chapter 1: Refracted mirror

It felt like a dreamless night.

Regaining his strength, he pushed open his heavy eyelids, revealing a slit of light. His vision and consciousness became clearer, as he faced the redwood ceiling above him.

He turned his head to scan his surroundings in a daze. After a while, he recognised the familiar house, known as the ‘customisable hut’.

This was where he ‘spawned’ and met the system after his first death. His arms lifted his body to lay against the bed frame. His throat was parched, but his delayed emotions came like waves, overwhelming him.

Clenching the bedsheet, he violently pulled it to his face and tears welled up. With each drop, it left a shaded mark on the blanket. With his head in his hands, he inhaled and screamed, kicking his legs like a child throwing a tantrum. However, it was silent.

The sour words were stuck in his throat, unable to voice out. The unbearable suffocation of his heart tightened as his hands ruffled and pulled it to inflict pain.

Countless questions ran through his mind. What for to live if he was to be tormented by the facades of emotions and hypocrisy of his actions.

He had to find a reasonable excuse to detach himself from his hatred. Something, someone to be his salvation.

‘It’s okay, it’s fine. At least I get to see Laurent again. If things were to go in the same direction as before; I will give my whole heart to that man who truly understands me with no hesitation. Yes, that’s why.’

After calming himself down, he reluctantly accepted his situation. Preparing himself to greet the system, he touched the mirror in front of the bed.

The mirror served as a customised feature, allowing players to change their desired appearance while being briefed by the system, similar to a game tutorial. To his surprise, the mirror didn’t light up. Pressing his finger harder in different directions, the mirror was only left with traces of his fingerprints.

‘Is the system still rebooting?’ He thought after he faced the system’s abnormality.

Seeing the reflection of the default avatar, he confirmed his appearance didn’t change. With the lack of response, he left the mirror alone.

Gathering the materials available in the hut, he decided it was best to leave early, away from the system. Stepping out of the door, he halted and fumbled his bag to prepare a few copper coins before he walked down the compacted soil path.

Behind the small hut was the capital city of the Empire of Eir, New Eternal. Amongst the minuscule houses, endless motion was taking place within its streets. With an air of excitement for the upcoming Imperial Knights’ Recruitment, banners and flags were placed around as its citizens prepared flowers and gifts, supporting their loved ones who applied for the recruitment.

This was the beginning of the game. However, instead of going there for the recruitment, Yohan had other plans.

During his gameplay, he thought of many alternate routes. One of them was to be a delivery man for The Guild.

The Guild was a global information trading company. It mainly specialised in bounty hunting, but provided other services such as delivering parcels. Many Calibre users joined The Guild to carry out expeditions to collect monsters’ materials to trade for money.

Yohan remembered his dealings he had with The Guild before. It was mostly involved in information exchange, but it also presented him an opportunity to use The Guild to transmit confidential military secrets to Agares, the rival power of the Empire of Eir under the system’s schemes.

When his betrayal was revealed, it caused a huge commotion, In fact, his initial crime of committing same-sex promiscuity was overlooked as the judge deemed espionage against the Empire of Eir a more serious crime.

They also didn’t want to reveal the inner affairs of the second prince— not to tarnish their reputation. The betrayal of the Hero of Eir was enough to bring shame and distrust towards the upper power of the military.

Lost in his recollection in his past with the Guild, he heard a galloping sound behind him. The horses neighed loudly as the squeaking wooden wagon rocked against the uneven road.

Immediately, Yohan waved his hand to signal the driver that he wished to board the wagon. As the wagon approached him, the driver pulled the leashes and held his hand out, gesturing to him to pay up. He relaxed his clenched hand and the coins fell onto the driver’s palm. Satisfied, he pointed at the back of the wagon with his thumb.

Feeling the weight of the wagon as it momentarily swayed, the driver lifted the leashes and started moving.

In the wagon was a young teenage boy. He looked around 18 years old, quite fit and was hugging a wooden sword. Curious, Yohan decided to ask his purpose for this trip.

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“Excuse me, I noticed that you’re carrying a sword, are you heading to the capital city for sword training?” He asked.

The young boy’s face lit up and replied. “Close to it, I’m actually registering for the Imperial Knights’ recruitment .”

“Right, the capital city has been busy with the preparation of the recruitment. It must be a rite of passage for you, young boy.”

“Young boy? Are you not the same age as me? When I first saw you, I thought you were also going to New Eternal for recruitment. By the looks of you, I can imagine you being a knight.” The young boy casually praised Yohan.

Yohan mumbled a thanks, looking away in embarrassment.

‘How could I forget that now it’s 10 years in the past?’

“Then, what’s your exact age, sir? I’m Nathan and I’m certain that I looked 18 and older,” Nathan pouted.

With a closer inspection, he had a sturdy frame with freckles, his immaculate hazelnut hair revealed his pure topaz coloured eyes, shining innocently.

Not knowing what to do, Yohan opened his mouth but had a momentary thought.

‘Should I use the name Yohan again?’

To him, the name carried an immense guilt of his previous life, his entanglement and mistakes. He wanted to start anew, aiming to leave the Empire of Eir—away from his past.

It also didn’t mean anything other than a username. He chose that name because it was the closest to his actual name, Yu De.

However, he wished to hear it again, in Laurent’s voice. Even if he was to take a different path; if fate could let them meet together, that would be sufficient.

“Yohan… and I think I’m twenty,” Yohan answered in uncertainty.

“Twenty is not that far from eighteen, but you’re acting like an old man,” Nathan jokingly teased. “So, what’s the purpose of your trip?”

“I am looking for a job from The Guild, specifically delivering parcels.”

“The Guild? That’s a good choice, in the past, I wanted to go for its bounties after manifesting my Calibre,” Nathan shared, clutching and relaxing his hand. Soon, his shadow grew and became three-dimensional, casting a filter of darkness over his arm as he manipulated the shadow. He shifted his finger towards Yohan’s, wearing a cheeky smile.

“Don’t flinch, Yohan,” he mischievously said. His shadow overtakes Yohan’s shadow, slowly crawling up behind his shoulder. Yohan’s eyes followed the shadow, which seemed to be playing with him. It poked him on his cheeks and absorbed into the shadow that overtook the walls of the wagon.

“Don’t you think it’s cool? I wanted to further enhance my Calibre by receiving the Imperial’s knight training and using it to defend the Empire,” he said, expressing his hope.

After witnessing his Calibre’s potential, Yohan nodded and encouraged him. “You will become a great knight.”

Thinking back, he never met anyone whose name was Nathan. With his Calibre, he should be guaranteed a spot in the recruitment.

“Words of advice, Nathan. Instead of displaying your Calibre, try to manifest it physically strong enough to cause damage on the training ground. You just need to incorporate your Calibre in your fighting skills to show your strength and wisdom,” Yohan advised him.

“Wait, why didn't I think of that?” Nathan pondered. Then, he held Yohan’s hands in gratitude, “I knew I was right when I said you could be a knight! Are you sure you don’t want to join the Imperial Knights?”

“No. I don’t have a Calibre,”Yohan rejected flatly.

“That…! Um,” Nathan retreated his hands and his face flushed. “Sorry for being insensitive, but still, you could easily be an administrator.”

“Thanks for recognising my flair in giving advice,” Yohan smiled, easing the tension. Nathan relaxed and continued to share his stories.

After a while, the wagon arrived at New Eternal. Passing by the gate, the transformation from the quiet nature to a city filled with flying confetti and lively music. Locals crowded at different stalls at Town Central, buying flowers, ribbons and food. Stopping at a horse stable, they were to alight the wagon.

“It’s been a while since I came here. The mood of the city always hyped me up!” Nathan exclaimed as he jumped off the wagon. He stretched his neck out, scanning his surroundings, searching for the Imperial Knights Headquarters.

“Nathan, it’s there,” I pointed at two vague tall, greyish bricked towers, waving the navy coloured flag of the Empire of Eir behind thousands of cottage houses.

“Woah, that’s very far. How did you see that?” Nathan asked, his hand blocking the sun as he squinted his eyes.

“… we should get going.” Yohan said, quietly walking off.

“Wait up, you’re walking so fast,” he gasped as he looked right and left, distracted by the rows of stalls selling miscellaneous items.

As the towers got closer and bigger, it towered over them and Nathan stood still, dazing at its height. Nathan couldn’t contain his excitement and interact with his surroundings, talking to people of his age who shared the same aspirations.

Yohan gazed up to the flag that waved proudly. He visited the Headquarters many times, enough to be considered his home. He lived and worked there, training the soldiers and discussing plans. He had fond memories of that place; where he met his comrades-in-arms and everytime they succeeded in their excursions, they would drink recklessly, celebrating the glory of the Empire.

Those were the good times. He was well respected and valued as a friend. Yet, he inflicted pain and suffering on his crimes. Most of them couldn’t accept that he did it with a clear conscience.

It was true that the Imperial Knights meant a lot to him, but now it was reduced to a place he no longer associated with.

“Yohan, thanks for guiding me here. If you’re wondering where The Guild is, it’s just down the street,” Nathan cheerfully mentioned.

At that moment, an enhanced voice attracted the attention of the crowd. “ATTENTION TO ALL PARTICIPANTS! Please queue up here to sign up for the Imperial Knights’ Recruitment!”

“Oh, it’s starting now. I can’t help but feel nervous.” Nathan turned around to the long queue, which consisted mostly of experienced mercenaries .

Yohan patted Nathan’s shoulder, and reassured him.

“Nathan, focus on your desire to be recruited. In battles, skills are not the only factor to win the fight. You have to acquire battle strategies to fully utilise your Calibre and maximise your potential rather than solely relying on physical abilities. Knowing full well of your Calibre’s properties can help you to navigate in battles, so be overwhelmed by others’ experiences.”

“Yohan…” Nathan's eyes glistened like a puppy’s, admiring Yohan’s battle expertise.

“Well, Nathan, you shouldn’t be wasting your time hesitating. Be resolute and give your best shot,” Yohan finally concluded his well wishes.

“Mhm, you too, Yohan. Good luck with The Guild!” He returned his blessings and waved goodbye before walking towards the recruitment call.