There was an upside to my time as Titania… Well, two, actually. Getting my armor back was a pretty big deal, but that’s kind of a given.
Anyway, the most unexpected boon to my time spent in a female body is that it removed many of my qualms about impersonating one when needed with [Disguise Self]. I mean, few people ever think “[Demon Lord]” when they see a little old lady.
- Excerpt from my journal
-------
“I should have known that you had your hand in that,” a shadowy figure I saw only in my dreams stated to thin air.
“Of course,” came a reply that echoed out of nowhere. “For all that she is a master of lightning magic, did you seriously think that she could come up with a tier 3 spell in the span of 5 seconds without some outside assistance?”
“But why did you…” the shadowy figure trailed off.
“You already know the answer, don’t you?”
“Yes,” he replied angrily. “You had to keep Titania alive for a bit longer so that she could find the plans. All so that-“
“You’re forgetting that Erica would have died as well,” the voice interrupted calmly but firmly.
“And what would that have mattered!?” the shadow exploded. “That doesn’t save her life! It just delays her death and makes it far, far worse! She should have died there and-“
“Despite appearances, Erica will not die in Placeholder,” the voice interrupted. “And when a [Hero] in her situation defeats the [Demon Lord], they are returned to Earth just as they were before they left.”
The shadow paused.
“That’s… good. She really won’t remember any of that?”
“No.”
There was a lull that lasted for several seconds.
“It’s still messed up that the System sent a kid over,” the shadow muttered.
“On that, we can agree.”
That dream was important. I could tell. Unfortunately, it was still only a dream. It was preceded and followed by several others, and by the time I awoke, I had lost all memory of it.
------
[Commander] Lee walked out of the door, and Erica was immediately on her feet.
“How is she? Is she going to be okay? Can I see her?” Erica rapid-fired.
“Not great. It depends. And…” Lee hesitated. “I don’t think that would be wise.”
“Please?” Erica begged. “She saved my life again! I want to be there for her! It’s the least that I could do!” She tried to push Lee to the side with her superhuman level 21 strength… but forgot that he was also at level 20.
He easily resisted her. He simply crossed his arms and gave a disapproving look until she finally stopped.
Erica looked down at her feet. “I… I’m the only one she’s got. She was living alone in a cave until I came along, and she never mentioned any family… any friends… and…” Erica couldn’t help the tears that started falling. “And she’s the only one that I have here too!”
Erica belatedly realized how that sounded and looked up. “Sorry! You guys are great too, but-“
Fortunately, Lee didn’t seem to care about her putting her foot in her mouth. He cut her off with a loud sigh. “Fine. Command’s orders were to not let you anywhere near her, but since I currently have several choice words I would like to give them-“ he muttered the next part under his breath, but Erica still caught it. “-including where they can shove copies of those secret orders in triplicate.”
He cleared his throat and continued. “I’ll let you through, but before I do, I want you to understand. The damage was… extensive.”
“I’m ready,” Erica said as she steeled herself.
The two walked into the room, and Erica found out… she wasn’t ready.
The Titania lying on the bed was almost unrecognizable. Her hands were blackened and charred, and her entire body was covered with Lichtenberg figures.
Erica briefly recalled that she only knew that term from pestering one of her science teachers a bit too much about lightning strikes during one of her classes.
Erica also almost panicked because she realized that Titania wasn’t breathing, but that, at least, was normal.
Her mentor was wounded. Gravely. And there was only one thing that Erica could do.
She dragged a stool over next to Titania’s bed, took a seat, and then took one of Titania’s charred hands in her own.
“We really should let her recover,” Lee stated.
“No,” Erica stated stubbornly. “I’m not leaving until she wakes up.”
“Erica, she’s in a coma. She may not wake for months. That is doubly true since the only healer we know of that can fix something this severe lives in northern Dryadal.”
“I’m not leaving,” Erica stated again. She pulled out both of her wands and rested them in her free hand. “It’s my turn to keep her safe, and I’m not going to fail her.”
Lee spent a bit longer trying to convince her but made no progress. Then he randomly jolted as if he had been shocked and excused himself.
Erica didn’t care. She would watch over Titania until she was awake.
At least, that was her plan until an hour later when the exhausting day finally caught up to her, and she drifted off to sleep.
------
Lee rushed to find a secure location. Then, while biting back curses, activated the silence artifact before finally answering the secure communication one.
“Lee here,” he practically growled.
“[Commander], you are two hours late for your check-in,” the answering voice reprimanded. “Your check-in was scheduled for-“
“I don’t give a dave’s jelly about check-in times when I’m trying to keep a casualty in my squad from turning into a fatality,” Lee snapped. “If you’ve got something to say about that, then you can take that artifact you’re holding and stick it where-“
The handler coughed. “[Commander], now might be a good time for you to know that we have someone else on the line tonight. Your majesty, thank you for your time.”
[Commander] Lee thought it was a bluff until he heard [King] Graham’s voice come through loud and clear. “Not at all. This is a matter of grave importance for both Gram and the entire world. If I cannot make time for this, then it is a sure sign that it is time for me to give up my crown.”
[Commander] Lee dropped to a knee before remembering that the [King] wouldn’t be able to see it. However, he decided he might as well go through with the full salute.
“Your majesty! Forgive my insolence!” [Commander] Lee stated as he pounded his fist to his chest… and accidentally made a thumping noise directly into the communication artifact.
“Rise, [Commander],” the [King] stated. “A bit of insolence from someone in your position is allowed,” he said somewhat jovially. His next statement was deadly serious. “However, insubordination is not.”
Lee gulped. “Understood, your excellency.”
“Very good,” the [King] replied. “Now, I’ve read the reports, but before I render my judgment, I would like to hear it directly from the man who has been our boots on the ground. [Commander], what do you have to say about this… Titania?”
Lee didn’t know where to start. “What do you wish to know about her, your majesty?”
“There is only one question of consequence.” The [King] paused. “Is she a threat, [Commander]?”
“To… who, your majesty?” Lee asked hesitantly.
[King] Graham sighed. “Your hedging is all the answer I need. Very well, we leave her in her current state, and you shall continue your mission without her. You will inform the [Hero] that she couldn’t be healed and-“
“That’s not fair!” Lee shouted.
A shocked silence followed.
In for one gold… in for one hundred. Lee thought as he internally kicked himself for his outburst.
“Your majesty,” Lee continued with a much more deferential tone. “Titania has done her utmost to protect the [Hero], going above and beyond what any of us have been capable of doing. If that weren’t enough, every single member of my squad owes her their life. Not once, but twice.” Lee paused and collected his thoughts. “If that were all, I would not dare to question your judgment. However, she has been pivotal in completing the last two dungeons, and we have as many as seven more to go. Our mission’s success rate will decrease drastically if we do not have her to round out our party.”
Lee thought of one final thing to add. “Also, seeing Titania in that state has greatly distressed the [Hero]. If we were to try to continue without her, Erica would likely not go willingly.”
There was a pause for a few seconds, but it felt like hours.
“It is gravely concerning that you place so much on someone who hasn’t sworn the same oaths that you have,” the [King] replied.
“She may not be under the same oaths, but I swear on my life and those in my command that she is honorable.”
“You should hold back on that until I relay our [Analysts’] findings,” the handler snorted. “Where exactly do you think that helmet and staff came from?”
Lee ground his teeth. “I do not know. But I warned those agents that the helmet had a health buff, yet they ripped it from her dying head anyway. If the armory didn’t happen to have regeneration potions, her death would have been your head, you piece of-“
“That’s enough, [Commander],” the [King] stated. “Now, please continue. Where did the staff and helmet come from?”
“Our analysis confirmed with 99% certainty… that staff and helmet were the [Demon Lord’s],” the handler stated.
“Then she obviously managed to steal them from him!” Lee exploded. “You’re not seriously thinking she’s the [Demon Lord] after all of this?”
“We cannot rule that out,” [King] Graham stated. “A female [Demon Lord] has never been heard of, but we cannot rule something out just because it has not happened before. If you also consider that the [Demon Lord] is a master of deception and that there has been no word of his activities since his most recent revival, we must be cautious.”
Ungrateful, bureaucratic, sons of daves. Lee grumbled internally. Outwardly, he said, “Understood, your majesty. However, in that case, wouldn’t it make sense to at least heal her enough so that you can question her?”
The [King] paused for a few moments, and Lee held his breath.
“Very well, [Commander],” he stated. “We shall contact our allies and request their best healer. However, the same day that this Titania awakes, she will go to questioning, understood?”
“Yes, your majesty,” Lee replied and did another kneeling salute.
Lee breathed a sigh of relief. Now we just have to wait, and we can clear all of this up.
----
Erica was startled awake by a groan. It took her a few seconds to pick her head up off the bed it was resting on, and she initially wondered where she was.
However, the second groan was enough for her scrambling brain cells to finally lock in what was happening.
“She’s awake!” Erica shouted. “What do I… Call the party! No, wait. I should-“ Erica paused to get her thoughts in order. She sent a gather command through the party and followed it up with a cast. “[Message] Lee Hartfield. She’s awake!”
Meanwhile, Titania started trying to sit up.
“No, no,” Erica said gently. She moved to keep Titania from getting up. “You need to rest and-“ However, she had gotten no farther than putting her hands on Titania’s shoulders when she got a surprise of her own.
Apparently, even in that state, Titania was still well enough to twist and toss someone to the floor.
“Owww,” Erica said as she rubbed at her head.
“Erica?” Titania asked in a raspy voice. She was now sitting fully upright.
Erica forgot her injury and rushed back to Titania’s side. “Yes, I’m right here,” she said as she clasped Titania’s hands.
Titania blinked several times and then stared at Erica…
Or, more specifically, she stared in Erica’s direction. Titania’s lovely red eyes, which Erica had been hoping to see for hours, were nowhere to be found. Instead, her eyes were milky and sightless.
Erica gasped, and Titania frowned.
She pulled a hand out of Erica’s grasp and waved it in front of her face. Then, she took the same hand and snapped next to her ear. Then, when that didn’t seem to work, she snapped again.
As she continued snapping louder and louder, her frown deepened.
“Well, that ain’t good,” Titania rasped.
“It’s… it’s… all my fault,” Erica cried as she buried her head in Titania’s lap. “I wasn’t strong enough, and it’s my fault and… and… I’m so sorry!”
Titania didn’t reply but merely sat there stroking Erica’s hair.
The two stayed like that for a while, with Titania occasionally muttering something to herself, but they were eventually interrupted by the [Commander] entering the room.
“I must admit, I didn’t expect you up so soon,” Lee said with a hint of good humor. “And the higher-ups even thought we would have to wait for…”
He trailed off as Titania looked in his direction, and he caught sight of her eyes.
“System preserve us,” he muttered.
There was no response until Erica finally turned to look up at the [Commander].
“Lee?” Titania asked, the party finally tipping her off about her visitor. Then she cupped one hand around her ear and said, “Can’t hear.” Then after a momentary pause. “Can you hear me?”
There was a brief lull as Erica and Lee looked at each other.
How do you tell a deaf and blind person that you can hear them? Erica thought to herself.
However, she came up with a solution soon enough… one that almost got her tossed off the bed again, but it still worked out.
She briefly grabbed Titania’s head and nodded it up and down.
“Good,” Titania said with a hint of a smile. She turned toward Erica and held out her hand. “Wand.”
Erica felt that word shoot through her very self.
She’s asking me to hand over the Hero’s wand. She thought. But she’s right. I’m not fit to be a [Hero]. A [Hero] would never let something like this happen.
She choked down her tears as she slowly handed Titania the wand… and then it phased through her hand.
Titania’s other hand came up into a facepalm with such force that she was left shaking it and wincing.
“MY… wand,” she rasped out.
“Uh… oh,” Erica said as she handed it over.
So, she still wants me to be the [Hero], but she wants her wand back because-
Fortunately, Erica was saved from any further harmful speculation by Titania’s spell cast.
“[Restore],” she stated.
There was a glow of light and a slight grimace from Titania, but after just a few seconds, Titania was blinking, and her red eyes were looking right at Erica.
“Much better,” she said with slightly less rasp. “I didn’t realize the System was such a jerk to blind people. I couldn’t even see my-“
“Titaniaaaaa!” Erica wailed as she practically tackled her once again.
“Yes, yes,” Titania stated patiently. “You’re happy I’m alive. I get it.” Then, finally noticing her skin for the first time, she winced. “Sheesh. Did way more of a number than I thought. Oh well. Hearing first… Where’s my other… there it is.”
Titania gently moved Erica off her and pulled a similar wand out of her inventory.
“[Restore],” she cast. She worked her jaw a bit and then snapped her fingers next to her ear.
“Alright, hearing’s back and also seems like my-“ she trailed off and crinkled her nose. “Ugh. Is that me? I smell like singed hair, charred flesh, and-“ Titania looked down at where Erica had wailed into her lap. “-snot.”
Erica chuckled sheepishly and wiped at the tears in her eyes. “Sorry. It’s just, you almost died for me again, and then you were all scarred, and then you wouldn’t wake up and-“
Titania forestalled Erica by ruffling her hair a bit. “Don’t worry about it, kid. This is a world of magic! As long as you come back alive, any number of injuries aren’t that big of a deal.”
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“Uh… oh,” Erica replied.
Lee interrupted with a cough. Erica and Titania both looked over. “I’m afraid that’s where your mentor is mistaken. We had to put out an all-call for a [Priest] who would have enough mana to cure you, and the only one we found was all the way in the nation-state of Saint’s Rest. Normal people do not come back from those kinds of injuries.”
“Well, I’ll just have to teach you [Restore] too, and then you can be an abnormal person right along with me,” Titania joked to Erica. “Speaking of [Restore], though. It looks like I have quite a lot left to do. You don’t happen to know where my staff went, do you?”
Erica shook her head. “No, the last I saw of it was when Lee carried you back here.”
“Any chance I could get that back, [Commander]?”
Lee frowned. “We’ll… need to discuss that.”
“Sure,” Titania shrugged. “What’s there to discuss?”
Lee shook his head. “It can wait until tomorrow. It’s… political.” Lee practically growled that last statement. “Anyway, get some rest… both of you.”
“Yes, sir,” Titania replied with a mock salute that brought a slight smirk to the [Commander’s] face.
Erica was still concerned about her, but after several assurances that she would be fine, Titania finally convinced her to leave.
What a long day. Erica thought as she collapsed into her bunk and was soon fast asleep.
--------
Well, still no frickin’ clue how I didn’t die. I thought after both Erica and Lee left. I had drastically underestimated the damage I would do to myself with my [Overchannelled] [Lightning Spear]. Given the number of severe conditions it had caused, I was pretty sure that I was supposed to be dead several times over.
Good ol’ [Demon Lord] plot armor. I snorted as I rummaged around for a change of clothes, found a place to take a quick bath, and then collapsed back into bed. I’m basically immortal… Right up until the very end of my plan, where the [Hero] kills me with random BS.
However, as Titania, I was actually kinda banking on that fact. While being stuffed into a woman’s body had been a… unique… experience, it had more than enough downsides that I was ready to return to normal.
I wonder if Erica will even be up to the task. I thought as I looked up at the ceiling. Eh. Even if she isn’t, I can just yeet myself off the central mountains… Or just cast another [Overchannelled] [Lightning Spear].
That gave me a thought.
Speaking of…
I flipped open my status and went to my skills. [Electricus] had jumped 2 levels up to 3, and [Overchannel] had gained a level and was now at 2.
Part of me wondered if I had taken so much damage because of my inefficiency with [Overchannel]… I wasn’t that keen to figure it out, though.
I will have to practice both of those a bit more. I thought idly. These bosses have been a bit… intense. I shuddered as I remembered the adamantium monstrosity we had just fought. Spell resistance and physical resistance. That’s just not fair. My brow furrowed as I remembered where we were headed to next. Do I even want to know how the System plans to make a horde of daves a challenge?
With idle thoughts like that, the rest of the night passed quickly. The only thing of note was that I [Restored] myself whenever my mana was topped off, and soon I found myself back in peak shape.
It even takes care of singed hair. I thought as I idly stroked it. Maybe I should get it cut a bit shorter so that it isn’t in the way. Or I guess I could do it myself since- I shook my head.
“Nope, not a [Barber],” I said to myself. “I refuse. Not reactivating those levels. Not gonna do it.”
“What’s this about a [Barber]?” Lee asked as he belatedly knocked on the door I’d left open. He entered without waiting for my response and continued. “If you want to get a haircut, we could probably-“
He trailed off and stared at me.
I cocked my head. “Is there something on my face, [Commander]?”
‘Uh, no.. I…” he cleared his throat. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better.”
However, there was a slight flush on his face, and after our time together, I finally put two and two together.
Does he… like me? I asked myself.
My initial thought was ewwww, but after getting that under control and making sure it didn’t cross my face (or worse, actually come out of my mouth), I re-evaluated it.
If he does have feelings for me… I could probably use that. I thought. Love does have a way of putting the blinders on… And that was about all it took for me to decide that I would use the [Commander’s] feelings. Or at least, not let him know that he had a snowball’s chance in a [Hell Blaze] when it came to getting anywhere with me.
It was a bit scummy and somehow felt like a new low, but after comparing it mentally to the people I had murdered to achieve my goals, I figured it wasn’t quite that bad.
Probably.
I belatedly realized that during my entire internal discussion, he had just stood there awkwardly.
“So, did you need something, or were you just checking in?” I finally asked.
“Ah, right,” he replied with a quick shake of his head to clear it. “If you are feeling up to it, command has some questions they would like to ask you.”
“If I answer them, can I get my staff and helmet back?”
He winced. “That… will be part of the discussion.”
By discussion, he totally means I’m walking into an interrogation. I thought. I wanted to make sure that he didn’t leave me alone to the interrogation, and that gave me an idea. Acting, go!
I slowly got up from the bed and walked to the door… but then I tripped directly into the [Commander].
“Woah! Easy!” he said as he caught me.
“S-sorry,” I replied as he helped me back upright. “I talked a big game, but it looks like I’m not quite back up to fighting shape.” I paused briefly. “C-could you?”
“Of course,” he offered his arm. I took it and then leaned on him much more than I needed to… since I was perfectly fine after all.
We got to the sketchy-looking interrogation room, and the [Commander] went to let go of my arm, but a bite of my lip and a pleading look was all it took to keep him with me.
Poor love-stricken sap. I thought. I could commiserate. I knew what it was like to fall in love with the wrong woman. My free hand unconsciously went to the necklace I still had around my neck. This “relationship” will probably go about as well as ours did, won’t it, Megan?
I didn’t catch the tears before they came to my eyes, and I was stuck hastily wiping them away.
“Are you alright, Titania?” Lee asked.
“It’s nothing, sorry,” I stated, then took a deep breath. “So, when will this interrogation start?”
“It’s not an interrogation,” Lee hurried to assure me. “We just have to ask you some-“
I gave him a flat look throughout until he finally sighed. “Usually, they’d wait until you are sufficiently unnerved by being alone in this room, but-“
I nodded and added a slight tremble. “Well, I guess that means that you should go…”
Lee’s eyes hardened. “I’m not leaving you.” He looked up at the ceiling. “Hey! Just get this started already!”
A few moments later, an irate man walked in with a book and sat across from me.
“This is in violation of several protocols,” he said with a scowl.
“And we’re on a mission with the world at stake,” Lee snapped back. “We don’t have time for the usual games.”
“Very well then,” he stated and pulled a pair of glasses out of his inventory.
I was a bit surprised by the appearance of glasses, but I quickly spied the runes etched onto them.
A magic item… And so is the book.
“In the interest of saving time, then, we shall do this the direct route,” the interrogator stated. “Simply repeat after me.”
Where is he going with-
“I am not the [Demon Lord],” he stated.
I froze for a second. I was sunk. They finally figured out the actual utility of truth stones. It wasn’t best used to verify the truth of any arbitrary statement that someone made. No, the best way to use it was to force someone to say something specific that didn’t allow any wiggle room.
And the longer the silence stretched, the more it seemed that I was guilty.
“Titania?” Lee asked.
Meanwhile, the interrogator started looking smug.
I looked down… and then went with my only play.
“How fricking dare you!?” I shouted as I slammed my hands on the table and glared holes into the interrogator. “I came in here willingly, and the first thing you accuse me of is being the [Demon Lord]? Well, newsflash for you… I am not Titus. I am Titania.”
My only play left was to bombard the interrogator with as many truths taken out of context as possible, and given how taken aback he was, I still had the initiative.
“Yes, I had the [Demon Lord’s] staff. Yes, I had his helmet. Where do you think I got them? I took them from the [Demon Lord], you useless waste of space!” I shouted.
“Y-yes, that may be true,” the interrogator finally recovered enough to speak. “But, would you be willing to say that you aren’t on his side? That would-“
“On his side? On his side!?” I shouted. “Why the frick, would you think that!? His cult declared me a traitor to my face! Just ask the last interrogator I met whose life I saved when a [Cultist] tried to kill him!”
Lee put a hand on my shoulder. “Titania, please calm down.”
I whipped my head around to him. “Calm? Calm!? I AM CALM!” … Funnily enough, I think the truth stone might have picked that up as true since I was still just acting.
“Why shouldn’t I be outraged that we’re wasting time here when we should be back on our quest?” I continued in a slightly more in control tone. “And I am on a quest to save the world.” I paused and let that one sink in.
I had to let them know that it was the truth because surely the [Demon Lord] wouldn’t want to save the world, right?
Well, I did. From my past self mostly, but I didn’t have to say that part out loud.
“Every second we waste here is another second that…” I paused and pretended to be overcome with emotion. Frick. Almost slipped up and said it was a second closer to the [Demon Lord] winning, but that would be false. I took a deep breath.
“Would you at least be willing to take an oath that you won’t bring harm to the people of Gram?” the interrogator asked.
I laughed. “No, I won’t. I don’t trust the people of Gram aside from a few.” I gave a meaningful look at Lee. “And if that’s what it takes to get your continued support… Fine then.” I made a wobbly show of standing. “Erica and I will continue alone if we have to. We could have handled the first dungeon by ourselves.”
“Titania-“ Lee tried to interrupt.
I held up a hand to stop him. “And that’s even without the staff and armor.” I leaned over the table at the interrogator. “And you should know this. You better hide those items well because if I’m not holding onto them, the [Demon Lord] and his followers will be coming for them.” I wobbled my way to the door and then had an idea. “And, if you don’t want to give it back to me, at least consider giving it to the [Hero],” I stated in a softer voice. “Frankly, no one else stands a chance holding onto it, but she would at least be able to fight back.”
I left through the door that they had thankfully left unlocked. If they hadn’t, I would have had to make a lot more of a ruckus as I kicked it down.
Lee followed close behind me, so I made sure to stumble a bit and let him catch me again.
“Well, that didn’t go well,” I muttered.
“I… think it went fine,” Lee tried to encourage me.
I just laughed in response.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that they see reason,” he continued.
“Thanks, [Commander],” I replied. “I’m glad to have you on my side.”
If only he knew what side that was.
Poor sap.
-------
Over the next few days, I made a show of my “recovery” by wasting a ton of mana on [Restores] that didn’t do anything. Then, after that was complete, I still had a few days left before we were scheduled to leave due to those pesky physical needs my other party members had to stock up for on journeys.
Fortunately, that gave me time to sneak out and meet with the Children of Flame. How did I manage that while in a party? Well, that was simpler than I thought. I just practiced electric magic at night until everyone got fed up with the signals it sent through the party. Yeah, it turns out the party system doesn’t care too much about where the damage comes from. It just assumes that you’re in combat.
Anyway, they were more than willing to let me leave the party every night and rejoin the next morning. With that in place, it was a simple matter to meet up with the cult and get them to apply some pressure on the Gram government. Anonymous letters demanding the return of the armor. Kidnappings. Arson.
Actually, I didn’t even suggest that last one. It just kinda happened. I swear.
With no end in sight, Gram finally caved and returned my staff, helmet, and even the chest piece that had been picked up from the Deepmine dungeon. With the cult frothing at the mouth for those items, I’m betting they assumed it would either get rid of me or prove I was on the [Demon Lord’s] side once and for all.
They drastically underestimated how disposable I considered my low-level [Cultists]. In fact, I made sure that when I met up with the cult that I did so in disguise, and I only let the top of the leadership even know that Titania and Titus were the same… well, them and the Faroff cultists that I sent word to and told them to keep their dang mouths shut.
To everyone else, Titania was a heretic and traitor that they would do their utmost to defeat… Though, I did tell my speakers not to waste too many followers on that particular suicide mission to reinforce my cover.
Oh, and while I’m on the topic of my cult, they also finally came through on one of the oldest tasks I had given them.
Finding useful subclasses.
After years of having that directive, they finally came to me with a subclass that would increase my balance, improve my footwork, and at higher levels, even give me an edge in determining what my opponent was doing in a 1 on 1 fight.
… The only problem was that that subclass was [Dancer].
Yeah, [Improved Balance], [Improved Footwork], and at level 5 even [Read Footwork], which was supposed to help with partner dancing and improv.
I grudgingly picked the class up, which then meant that I had to find ways to try to level it. I still spent most of my efforts towards [Electricus] and [Overchannel], just in case we ran into another boss with BS resistances, but I did make an effort when we were in town to go dancing.
My dance partner had to be the [Commander], of course. I decided I would continue stringing him along while also making it clear that I couldn’t possibly pursue a relationship while we were still on our quest.
… I didn’t inform him that I wouldn’t be interested even after the quest was done, but he didn’t need to know that.
Speaking of the [Commander], my play ended up having an unexpected benefit. Since he commonly made reports back to command, he eventually stopped being circumspect about his questions to me about Titus. Especially since I was more than willing to be “helpful.”
By “helpful,” I mean that I confirmed things about me that they already knew, like immunity to fire, and then got to enjoy feeding them a whole bunch of misinformation.
I kept mum about my weakness to palladium and said that I was weak to vitalium instead. That wouldn’t make a huge impact, but if they shoveled money into making vitalium weapons instead of adamantium ones, that was a win in my book.
Some of the other ones were more just for kicks. I decided to give myself some of the stereotypical vampire weaknesses as well. Garlic. Running water. Silver.
Finally, I decided to spout some nonsense about legendary items that could be used to defeat me. The legendary “blue flame” that could burn even the [Demon Lord], the tears of a [Queen] of the fey, or the blood of a one-horned horse.
… I belatedly realized that the last two items were attainable, and I wondered whether the unicornisus that Garrik had was still alive and kicking.
During all of that time, Erica tried to get me to get to know the rest of the party a bit better.
Honestly, I couldn’t care less about them, but I did at least try to appear cordial to them to keep her off my back.
Erica also grew up significantly during our travels. It turned out the rapid aging for adventurers under 18 was still in place, and Erica soon finished her growth spurt.
It left her a head shorter than me, but she definitely looked a lot more mature… especially in places that drew attention from the mostly male party.
I decided I might as well head off any problems from the get-go. I gathered the entire party when Erica wasn’t around, sat them down, and let them know my thoughts.
“Gentlemen, with Erica’s growth, I understand that some of you may have come to be interested in her as not just the [Hero], but as a woman,” I stated. “Just know that should I find out that she has been heartbroken, harassed, or even made uncomfortable by any of you.” I conjured a flame in my hand.
“They will not find your body,” I said in a whisper.
I took the dead quiet they gave in response as confirmation that they understood me.
With that taken care of, I assumed that I had all of my Erica problems dealt with, but it turned out that she was still able to surprise me with more.
------
“So, what’s everyone going to do after we’re done with the quest?” one of the party members asked as we sat around a fire with everyone else eating.
“That is probably the most unlucky thing you could ask,” I deadpanned.
“Titania!” Erica chided as she lightly pushed me. “You don’t have to be such a downer about it!”
I simply shrugged.
“I know. I’ll go first!” Erica said. Then she paused. “Umm… Actually, I’m not quite sure what I’ll do when this is all done…”
“Well, to begin, will you remain in Placeholder or return to your previous home?” Lee asked.
Her eyes widened. “What? I can go home?”
Lee nodded. “After a summoned [Hero] defeats the [Demon Lord], they may either stay or be returned home. It’s not well-known knowledge, but-“ he paused. “I’ve been briefed.”
Oh? I wondered where old man Jenkins teleported off to after killing Pride. I thought as I looked on. I had a question I wanted to ask, but I figured I would just have to-
“Do I go back exactly as I am now? Or is it more of a Narnia thing where I go back the same as I left? Do I keep my memories?” Erica asked in succession. “What about my magic? Oh! Can I bring something back with me so that I don’t think this was all just a dream?”
“You would go back to right before you left,” Lee replied. “And… I don’t know what you get to keep, if anything.”
That put Erica deep in thought, and I couldn’t help but snort. Dang. All of that, and she didn’t even ask my question.
“How do you happen to know all of this?” I asked.
“It was supposedly revealed by System to a [Priest] in Jenkins after they continued asking what happened to their disappeared namesake,” Lee replied.
“Hmm,” was all I replied.
In the meantime, it appeared that Erica had made her decision.
“Well… I need to go back when this is all over,” she said with a bittersweet smile. “Grandpa will miss me, and I’m the only one he’s got…” She paused. “I’ll miss all of you. Well, assuming I can remember you, but I’ll try my best to!” She looked around the group but then paused when she looked at me. She stood up and then gave me her best Besti bow.
“Before I go, would you please teach me martial arts!?”
I shrugged and stood up. “Sure, let’s get started.”
I walked a bit away from the camp and left the blinking [Hero] behind.
“Wait. We’re starting right now?” she asked.
“Is there a better time to start?” I called back over my shoulder.
I initially thought that it was just a flight of fancy and that after I ran her ragged with training a few days in a row she would quit.
She didn’t.
I escalated it to duels, where I was basically just beating the snot out of her, hoping that would finally get her to call it quits.
It wasn’t enough.
Her will outlasted my own, and I eventually toned things down. I used my perk to drop my [Martial Arts] skill down to 1 so that it would be a fair fight, and I took things a bit slower so that she would still have a chance.
She started making good progress, except for one area.
She refused to block, no matter what I did.
I needed to drive that lesson home. I decided to actually feint for once, and she still dodged anyway. That put her off-balance enough that I was able to pivot and land a devastating kick that sent her tumbling.
I walked over and scowled as I helped her up.
“I’ve taught you how blocking works in Placeholder. Why do you insist on always trying to dodge?” I asked.
Her eyes widened. “I could never block one of your hits! You’re way stronger than me!”
I frowned. She had some serious misconceptions about how Placeholder worked and some serious mental blocks. I needed a plan of attack, and fortunately, I came up with one quickly.
“Very well,” I sighed. “Let’s change things up a bit. I want you to close your eyes and then throw your best punch.”
“Like this?” she asked as she complied.
“Remember, it’s not just your arm. You have to get your weight behind it,” I replied.
“So, like thi-“
She didn’t get to finish her sentence as I judged her punch “good enough” and met it with my own.
The attacks canceled out, and her eyes flew open.
“What just-“
“Congrats,” I cut her off. “You just blocked an attack.”
“Even though-“
“Yes, even though I’m stronger,” I cut her off again. “I think that’s one of your main flaws at the moment. If you don’t think that you’re going to win a fight, you’re probably going to be right. So that’s why you have to at least believe you can win.” I chuckled. “Otherwise, it will be lost before it even starts.”
She looked down at her fist. “Oh,” was all she said. “Thanks,” she added when she looked up. “But that wasn’t the only reason I wasn’t blocking. I don’t think I’ll be able to block like that when I return to Earth.”
I nodded in comprehension. “Ah. I was wondering why the sudden interest in martial arts.” When her look turned troubled, I followed up with, “Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really,” she replied.
Okay, good. Just dodged a long backstory and-
“But I think I should anyway,” she continued.
Dang it.
Without further ado, she launched into her tragic backstory.
She told me how her parents had died, and she lived only with her grandpa. She told me how they struggled to get by, but they were making it, and things were okay.
Then, she told me about her time in high school.
To take a long, horrible story and boil it down to a few words, she got bullied. A lot.
I remembered how tiny she was when she first came to Placeholder, and apparently, that made her the prime target for a few future scum of the earth.
It was primarily non-physical since the physical stuff was harder to get away with, but she mentioned that they pushed her around from time to time… including the last time she was bullied.
They had taken her backpack, tossed it among themselves, and then pushed her whenever she got close.
One particularly tough push got her off-balance and sent her into the road.
The boys initially laughed at her… but none of them had seen the truck coming.
She finished her story in tears, and I couldn’t help but wrap her in a hug for the umpteenth time.
I mentally cursed myself for letting myself feel sorry for the [Hero], but I couldn’t help how I felt.
Fine. I decided. Once this quest is complete, I’m going to let you win. You need to defeat the [Demon Lord] and go home, and I need a new body.
And then, I had a fantastic idea of how to accomplish that with a bit of illusion magic.
After all… I grinned. The [Hero’s] [Mentor] always has to die to the big bad, right?
-----
We entered Jenkins, and Erica was agog as she finally saw her first multi-cultural city in Placeholder.
However, as soon as she spied people with pointy ears and ones as wide as they were tall, she had her questions at the ready.
“Are those dwarves and elves? Oh! And people with animal parts like you, Titania! Where do they come from? What are their nations called?” Erica stopped to gasp. “Do they speak different languages? Do we need a translator?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Nope, they speak English. Just like everyone else here.”
“Wait, English?” she asked. “I mean, we’ve been speaking it this whole time, but… There are really no other languages here?”
“Nope,” I replied, slightly distracted as I thought I caught someone tailing us. “Just English. Even though there isn’t an England to name it after.”
“No other languages… and why is the language English?” she asked.
It seemed my paranoia was just that, so I finally returned my attention to the conversation.
Too late.
Erica continued her train of thought. “That doesn’t make any-“
My eyes widened in panic as I finally realized.
She was from Earth.
More specifically, she was an earthling thinking about something that didn’t make sense with Placeholder.
“NOOO-“ I shouted and reached for her.
Too late. The world ground to a shuddering halt as the next patch started being put into place.
My thoughts went sluggish, and I had time to curse myself, Erica, and the stupid world I found myself in.
Then I had time to calm down.
Then, my thoughts went back to normal speed while everything else was still frozen, and I had time to get very, very bored.
-it’s a small world, after all. It’s a small, small… Hey! We’re moving!
The world went back into motion, and everyone immediately clutched their heads.
… Well, except me. I was left as the odd one out as my “no” finally finished coming out of my lips.
There was a lull for a few seconds, and then everyone around started talking, and I didn’t understand a word of it.
… Well, except for Erica, who was complaining about her head.
I spun around and looked at the delayed headache that would be coming my way as I now had to deal with different languages until I realized that the [Commander] was calling my name.
“Titania, Titania!” he said. And then… a bunch of unintelligible gibberish.
I looked at him, confused, until suddenly his words locked in.
“Titania, are you alright?” he asked.
System: New Achievement. Otherworlder. Auto-translation activated
Oh. That’s actually… Convenient?
“I’m… fine,” I replied. “Just dealing with a bit of a headache.”
He nodded in understanding.
“Me too,” Erica groaned. “What was that?”
I shrugged. “No idea. Anyway, let’s keep going. We need to get an inn for the night.”
That forestalled further discussion, and thanks to System shenanigans, everyone but me pretty much forgot about it.
With auto-translation in place, it also dropped down my priority list quite a ways. After all… I had to make plans for Titus’ appearance.
He’ll reappear and kill Titania… After we gather all the pieces of armor. I nodded to myself. But he probably should make an appearance before that. Maybe at the next dungeon?
I frowned. Eric had gotten updated quest details, so we knew the name of the zone. It sounded like it was somewhere in Pumil, but that didn’t narrow it down much..
I grinned. Fortunately, I think I know how we can find out.
It would just take a few more perk points, and I knew just the thing.
Time for Erica to murder a bunch of daves.