Where the fuck is that idiot Deen?

As if the world was paying attention to my question, it gave me an answer. Lion Ass forced himself into one of the rooms, destroying the door frame and walls to fit through its entrance. There was only one reason why he'd go in there—Deen.

Wouldn't it have been better if she continued running down the hallway instead of getting herself cornered inside an enclosed space? Her Guardian Angel must be cooking something up. But I couldn't see what it was because I had difficulty following them.

If the world was still game to answer more questions, tell me: Where are my legs?

Some annoying fucker ate my lower legs, and I couldn't find them. I waded through blood and black slime, rummaging through shredded corpses—remnants of Lion Ass' battle with the parasite monsters. My missing limbs were somewhere around here; I could sense them. But they weren't coming to me even when I concentrated on pulling them back.

"They're like stuck or whatever," I grumbled.

With the gun I had picked up, I pried open a large humanoid skull thrice the size of an average human's head. I peered through its cage of fangs. Nothing metallic looking. Then I prodded the tentacles to my side, like a fussy kid picking at spaghetti, to check beneath.

"This is annoying as fuck! Where are my—Woah!"

BO-BOOM! BOOM!

I was standing on my knees as the world violently shook. I lost my balance and fell forward. Stretching my hands, I tried to stop my fall but slipped because of the blood. I ended up splaying on the ground. Dust from the ceiling sprinkled me. Then larger chunks started to drop.

A football-sized piece of concrete bounced off my head as I tried to get up. It nearly knocked my head off my neck. I decided to stay down and wait it out.

A couple more explosions rocked the building. Strings of muffled pops followed. Gunfire?

The BID? They’re already here?

If this was them, then they reacted so freaking fast!

Not much time had passed since I ordered Todd to throw parasite monsters out the window so that the police across the parking lot would know some weird shit was going on here.

I hoped that someone with enough brains would figure out that a repeat of what happened in La Esperanza was about to unfold here and call the BID over. The authorities would contain the situation and prevent the Tea Party’s escape—if they end up killing these terrorist bastards, even better. I was going to ruin the Tea Party’s plan, whatever it was, because they ruined my night.

I had already transformed into Pino and had Imani and Deen with me, so I thought I’d be able to find Mom before the BID arrived.

Yes, we’d also be in danger when the BID came, but I was sure we could escape with Deen’s bullshit powers. Plus, we had that Jubjub person—the Dario counterpart of Imani’s group. She'd certainly have a way out of this mess with her connections to the Professor and the secret organization they were working for.

But I had to get Mom first!

It would be so much of a fucking hassle if she died. I wasn't as much of an independent woman as I made myself out to be—I didn't know how to pay property taxes, insurance bills, and shit like that. Plus, organizing a funeral would be monumentally grating. I had plenty of relatives I didn't want to see.

And she's my mother…I kinda don't want her to die.

Smoke filled the corridor. I couldn't see shit. But my special Pino vision should be able to detect the green hues of living beings if BID agents were filling up this place—everything was clear. They could've sent in combat drones, but I couldn't hear the annoying scuttling of Skitters. The explosions and gunfire died down.

Maybe this wasn’t the BID? Must be something else.

Could this be explosives the Tea Party had stashed that Lion Ass unwittingly set off? It wouldn't surprise me if Deen's prescient pet found a possible future where that happened.

Hurrying forward, I crawled with my hands and upper legs to where I estimated Deen went. I ditched the gun because it wouldn’t do much good against a strong Adumbrae like Lion Ass. If he was still alive, Deen had to finish him off herself.

I thought of communicating with Deen through our link.

However, now wasn’t the right time. I had to slot my message in whenever her thoughts were hectic so she wouldn't have the space to process something that might be wrong.

How long until she figured out I wasn’t her Guardian Angel? She wouldn't trust me if she knew I could access her head.

(Thanks, Gabe. I know...rely...help me...)

That was Deen! It sounded like she was talking to her pet.

Being linked with someone didn't automatically mean I could read their minds. I could only pick up 'out loud' thoughts—not sure what term to use for those. Usually, I'd ‘hear’ something if my puppet was directly thinking at me or had strong thoughts and emotions. It wouldn’t be always clear as if someone was talking; more often than not, it would be just feelings.

When it came to Deen, her thoughts were awfully unguarded in contrast to my previous puppets like…um… Too bad, I can’t remember any of the people I used during the attack on my condo.

Deen blared everything that passed her mind, even if she wasn’t specifically talking to her Guardian Angel. My hunch was that she was super used to internally conversing with her Guardian Angel that all her thoughts also became 'out loud.' Most of it wasn’t clear, but I could somewhat decipher what she might be actually thinking.

It could also be that things were just that way in her head. I hadn't surveyed how people ran their minds so I couldn't say for sure. All I knew was that Deen was a weirdo and that some funny things pranced in her brain.

For example, she thinks she owes me for saving her at Sanders. I giggled at such absurdity.

Or tried to. My metal body couldn't do something like that. I also couldn't smile or have a huge goofy grin on my face.

Finally, I understood why Deen was so protective of me. It wasn't just her usual heroic instinct, or she'd treat me the same way as other people. She wouldn’t break the law and help an Adumbrae kill people if her only motivation was to be a hero; that’d be fucking contradictory.

I never thought she owed me for what I did back in Sanders Mall. I didn't even consider that as saving her—well, at first, that was my original intention.

Rule #7: Don’t do anything that would break the character of the face—as involuntary her best friend, it was only normal to try to save her. But I wasn't required to put my life on the line for her. I jumped in because I was pissed as fuck that the Adumbrae, who turned out to be Myra, was bothering me.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Rule #4: I wouldn’t bother the world as long as it didn't bother me. A lot of things happened that day. I was at the tipping point and wanted to kill the fucker trying to kill me. Saving Deen was the furthest thing from my mind at that time.

But Deen assumed the opposite. Everything was starting to make sense. From her viewpoint, I wasn't mooching off her when I lived in her house and ate food for free—she was repaying me.

I had plenty of experience manipulating and roping in people so they'd owe me a favor, or at least think they did. This was the first time somebody owed me their life. I didn't know this had many benefits. It's so much fun too!

If I could make Deen owe her life to Pino as well, I'd have a ready puppet to use whenever I'd transform into this body.

I followed the muffled, earthy groans.

Someone large was in pain. It sounded like he was covered by rubble. Lion Ass—who else could it be? The Guardian Angel failed to kill this guy with the explosions. We should finish this bastard before he could regenerate.

Is this room where the sound is coming from? The next one? Many parts of the wall on this side of the corridor had broken down, all of them might as well be just one long room.

Just go in to find out, I told myself as I clambered over a pile of broken concrete to enter a room. I have to get close to this fucker.

There were no more direct thoughts from Deen. But there was something irritating I could sense. She projected sentiments of bravery like she was psyching herself up to do something. Her Guardian Angel might be instructing her to prepare for battle. Or it could be telling her to flee, but she disobeyed it again to stay and fight.

I had half-expected to be able to detect her pet when we linked up, but that didn't happen. Similar to how only Deen could see it, perhaps only she could hear it. I'd have to settle with interpreting her responses to it.

Feelings of bravery continued to be amplified until it was almost too annoying to bear. Then they pooled together, merging and transforming, bursting into an entirely different emotion. Everything from Deen's end suddenly flat-lined, which was unnerving.

A murderous thought.

Despite no express words, I understood that Deen had decided to kill Lion Ass.

It wasn't a raging emotion like what I'd expect from ordinary people turned murderers in true-crime documentaries I had seen. Neither was it a robust sensation like Deen's courage. It was calm and collected. This was all going to be business for her. I suspected this was what went through her head when she killed some of the frat guys.

I'm going to back you up, bestie! I mentally cheered, taking care that I wasn't transmitting it to her. Let’s make this Adumbrae pay for killing Todd.

"Ggrroarh!" The roar was so mighty that my body vibrated. Ferocious thrashing shifted rubble, causing more dust clouds to roll. "The pain! You fucking—ugh—fuckin' blasted hell!"

I stayed as low as possible as I crawled over the debris.

Through the heavy smoke, the dark silhouette of what I assumed to be Lion Ass became larger as he sat up. The green hue coating him wasn't as bright as before and had a noticeable gray tinge in places. If I wasn't wrong, based on the green outline of his body, he was missing his arm.

His Adumbrae powers kicked in. The green color pulsed as he regenerated. Fucking bad luck that he didn't just die.

We're going to fix that soon enough.

From the corner of the very wide vision range of my cyclopean eye, I spotted another green form. Deen raised her hands. I couldn't see it, but she must be holding up something. She zipped across the room and leaped at Lion Ass.

"Little gir—?” A loud crash. Sounds of breaking concrete. “Yeargh! The hurts—Grooarhh!"

It was like a fight in old cartoons where there was just a ball of a dust cloud. But instead of heads, fists, and legs coming out of it, green lines swirled like a flushed toilet. The two tore up the already destroyed room like a demolition team.

Deen was going at it with everything she got. Her sizzling focus transmitted to me. A dozen rappers had a live concert in my head with a broken TV in the background, constantly flicking through different channels.

(Left, duck, punch, roll forward, left—no, right! Punch him!)

The projections were way more intense than their earlier fight. Her stress and anxiety were bleeding into my mind. Yet, she tried to control her emotions as she fought the humongous Adumbrae.

(Kick down, then drop down, roll left, push off floor.)

If I was in Deen's place, I might go mad with how fast she was processing things. Gone was the fumbling Deen during her first sparring with Dario. Over time, she had adjusted her mind to get used to her Guardian Angel, and this was the result.

It was hard to see the fight while I pressed myself against the floor, and I only caught glimpses of them through the smoke, but Deen was a fucking martial arts master! She weaved around a disconcerted Lion Ass, landing blow after blow on the Adumbrae's body. Satisfying thuds and thumps punctuated the roars and groans of the dying Adumbrae.

"Ho-how? How are you so strong—urgk!" Crunching bone interrupted Lion Ass's whining.

Deen continued to punch his jaw, shifting it to a place where a jaw wasn't supposed to be. Broken fangs flew. Lion Ass' face was already messed up from the explosion, with half of it burned away. Was that an eyeball hanging from his—?

Deen grabbed and squished it before it could pop back into its socket. Lion Ass tried to grab her while screaming in pain, but she climbed behind his head and pummeled the back of his skull.

Oh, my fucking god, I'm just a side character again. Pushing my envious bitchiness to the side, Deen looked like the main character of an action movie. She wanted to be a superhero? She really looked one now.

If only I was actually a robot and had a record feature or something. Deen would've appreciated a video of her awesome fight. Hey, I'm a supportive bestie.

The Adumbrae wildly swung his arms in desperation. He wasn't trying to catch Deen but was flailing, hoping to shoo her away. Despite his injuries, his movements were so powerful that they blew back the dust and smoke, giving me a better view of the fight.

He's so fucking messed up. Lion Ass was hardly recognizable as a furry beast.

Vast swathes of bald spots where his fur was yet to return. Sizeable slabs of flesh had been blown off his body. Some of his ribs were exposed, the side of his stomach gaped open, his entrails hanging out. His regeneration worked overtime to repair his injuries but was having a hard time with Deen continuing to bash his head.

I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to link with Lion Ass and paralyze him. Was the Guardian Angel taking my decisions into account? Should I just like go ahead and do—Ah! So fucking hard to tell with this pet!

The important thing was that I should capitalize on the element of surprise for the finishing blow. Yes, the finishing blow. I shouldn't waste the first chance of incapacitating Lion Ass because he'd push back my mind control afterward.

And for the finishing blow—should I telepathically tell Deen? No, I shouldn't risk muddling her Guardian Angel's instructions. "Think of a blade!" I boomed.

Lion Ass turned to look at me in surprise. Deen kicked his head. He hit the ground, but he wasn't out. His eye was locked with mine. We both have one eye, so fun. Enraged, he crawled towards me.

"Think of a blade on your arm!" I yelled as I crawled away. The fuck is going on here?

"I got it, Pino!"

"You fucking scrap metal!" snarled Lion Ass. His words slurred with all the facial rearrangements that Deen had done. He reached for me with his bloodied and bare forearm. "I'll crush—" Lion Ass's remaining eye widened. He looked over his shoulder.

Behind him, Deen held up her right arm. The bleached bony armor protecting her body crept up her arm as if it had turned liquid. It formed into a blade.

Lion Ass roared; fear was evident in his voice. Knowing what was coming next, he abandoned chasing me and lunged at Deen.

I pointed my finger at him.

(Stop! Stop, you bastard!)

He froze. (Wha—? I can't move!) His outstretched arm shook as he tried to regain control. Deen wavered, holding her blade arm close to her chest. Was she hesitating because he was helpless? I felt conflict in her mind flowing to me.

(Yeah, because I told you not to.)

(Get out of my head!)

(You don't want your head?) "Chop his head off!" I ordered Deen. "You need to do it now!"

Deen swung her bladed arm at the neck of Lion Ass.