“Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. It is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings.”
“Paulo Coelho”
He was dead. Or he should be dead.
It was a small comfort, but at the very least he proved his Time Theory. His work was enough for him to win a Nobel Peace Prize, even if he was dead.
Unless someone thought his work was too dangerous to be released. Or a bloody bureaucrat swallowed his credit. Now he was getting annoyed.
Why was this taking so damn long?
After death, did you retain consciousness?
The scientist in him couldn’t help but try to figure out this mystery. There was an explosion in his lab. He was caught up in it. His whole body was destroyed. Not to mention what would have happened to the soft tissue of his brain.
How was he still cognizant?
Due to his logical thinking, he never put too much stock into the existence of deities or the presence of a soul within the human body.
The phenomenon he was experiencing now made him realize that there might have been some truth to it.
Did this also mean there was a heaven and a hell? That seemed ridiculous. Based on what scale would his lofe be assessed.
He did not have enough data to make an accurate judgment.
Taking a mental deep breath, he tried to assess his surroundings.
Unlike what he first assumed. He was not suspended in nothingness. The weightlessness he was feeling seemed to be due to a liquid. Whatever form he was in. He seemed to be able to move to an extent.
He was not breathing. That was all he could tell.
Doing a full set of mathematical equations, he assessed his mental abilities. He was slower than usual by a full 60 seconds. This did not bode well for his mental acuity.
Was he losing his mental faculties? Why was that more terrifying to him than being dead?
His brain stalled for a moment before he threw the problem to the back of his mind. There was nothing he could do about it anyway.
Should he keep track of time? Before his consciousness returned, how long had he been floating in this state of nothingness?
Is this how the blind feel?
It was more than being trapped in the dark. There was an absence and finality that existed. It was terrifying
To distract himself, he begun to count:
1, 2, 3, 4…
12, 13, 14, 15…
56, 57, 58, 59...
172, 173, 174, 175...
500, 501, 502, 503..
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2000…
10000…
1000000…
Yes. This was futile. Was his last life so ladened with sins that he was banished to suffer alone?
He did not realize how precious light and sound were. They fascinated him as a scientific field of study, but they meant little else to him before this.
The ability to see, hear, smell, and touch were such precious gifts. You didn’t know how to appreciate things until you lost them.
He always thought that he was special. His enormous IQ allowed him to tread upon the scientific path. His accomplishments were so extensive that he was called a once-in-a-lifetime genius.
It was a new level of torment for someone like him to be trapped in his mind. The same mind he prized above all else in his last life. He used to joke that he could live as the only person in the world.
Such irony.
He had a million thoughts but without being able to act on them. Without being able to discuss them. It was agony.
The faces of his family flashed through his mind. He was not close with his parents or his siblings. He could not understand them, and they could not understand him. After a while, each side stopped trying.
He wanted to have more time with them, but he couldn’t regret the way he lived. At least this way, they would not be as affected by his death.
He would not wish this feeling on anyone.
A drowsy feeling took hold of him. He did not know how long these ‘unconscious spells lasted. It took him a while before he even realized they were happening.
Where was this?
Why was this happening?
Instead of focusing on his scientific discoveries or questions. All his time went into analyzing his past actions and decisions. Self-reflection was painful.
Was this the reason he was trapped in here?
To ponder his existence?
The faces of everyone he knew flashed through his mind. The ones of his family were tainted with a myriad of emotions. He mourned the loss of them, despite not knowing them well.
The face of his wife causes him to feel sadness and detachment. It was more like losing an idea or ideal rather than a person.
As he looked back on the people he interacted with, he realized how isolated his world was.
He did not desire human connection. He could not explain it, but he should have taken the time to have at least a few people he was close to.
He did not know if a long or short amount of time passed.
The world around him started to shake. There was pressure being exerted around his entity.
What is happening now?
It had taken a long time, but he finally accepted his reality. Was that why there was a change now?
The feeling of pressure stayed, but nothing else changed.
Was this the proverbial other shoe falling?
He started counting. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do.
43296 seconds later, things changed.
He wasn’t sure before, but now he was certain. He was moving downwards.
It took time.
The pressure changed. He was being squeezed. This was the end. He hoped he passed on to somewhere with people. He never thought it would happen, but he was tired of being trapped in his thoughts.
He was being squeezed.
The pressure lessened. The space around him moved.
It took a moment, but he realized that he was suspended in a liquid.
He shifted. He thought he imagined it before. He was making tiny movements that were buffered by a thick fluid. That was why they were almost unnoticeable.
Did he have limbs?
No. That couldn't be.
The pressure increased, and he moved free of the space.
There was a bright light.
It took a moment before he realized his eyes had opened.
He instantly started crying.
Not even he was able to predict this. He had been reborn.
User: ID # 001 SENA initializing....error...process stopped. Brain unable to support activity. Entering rest state. Locking complex thought and memory.
He shrieked. His mind screamed no, but it was too late.
Darkness swallowed him. The first and last thing he saw was his mother's face. It was weird, but it was her.
What kind of nonsense was this? As a fetus, he didn’t have any problems. Yet, the moment he was born, he suddenly couldn’t handle it? What was wrong with his mother?