Day 2 of being glued to a crybaby.

Hmm. The woman, she feels like a human.

Okay that sounds either creepy or stupid, but the reality is I'm touching her with inhuman hands that I can extend from my core location. Normally you see, I'm just one big lump. I don't need hands for much in a vast empty nothingness. Or legs. Or eyes. Or ears, mouth, teeth, tongue, I wonder if I even have a brain? I suspect not. So it is nice to confirm that yes, I have a sense of touch in the real world. As a plus, she's quite busty... what did you expect me to touch her ears or something? With great handles right there?

Okay she's also got quite a fever.

Better check what the kid's is for an average before I consider hers abnormal; my senses may be sharper or duller than human.

So...

Good news: I was right, her temperature is high.

Bad news: Either the boy's is too low or my sense of touch is sharper than I'm used to. Most likely: her hypothalamus is cooking her to death in her own skin. An infection or disorder perhaps? Either way her body isn't regulating her temperature as it should, be it on purpose to fight bacteria or because of faulty wiring.

How do I fix that?

Tackle the symptoms first.

I'll try to work out if I can affect some kind of change other than creating and using my limbs.

First Attempt: Muttering some phrase of nonsense like the boy. In other words... (I can't believe I'm trying this...) magic.

Result: Failure. Of course it was.

Second Attempt: Willing the change into effect. (Use the force!)

Result: Another waste of time and effort.

Third Attempt: Try to harness the mana around me.

Result: Nothing happened but I get the feeling it wasn't a total loss.

…

Tenth Attempt: Bucket of cold water in the kitchen area.

Result: I attempt to carry it over but the boy investigates, thwarting me... he tripped over the bucket, spilling it.

…

Thirty Second Attempt: Use my body to cool her down.

Result: I'm not actually present in the real world. Despite coiling my arms around her from head to toe, she was the same. The arms, my proxy to the real world are made out of air. The air is the same as the surrounding room. This attempt was not at all for the purposes of feeling her body all over. Not at all. (Phew, neither one noticed.)

...

Attempt 45: Fluctuating my intangible form in the real world to create gusts of cool wind.

Result: Success! (Side Note: I can't believe I've been at this for over three hours!) I'm fanning her now to reduce temperature. It isn't a solution, but it is a start.

…

Attempt 48: Cause the moisture in the air to condense (combined with Method 45) to help apply the effect of evaporative cooling.

Result: Partial Success. In effect too much moisture was created. She was drenched. If I used to respect the breasts... then now I fear them, for they have grand destructive power! Since she's wearing a thin nightdress, it's transparent...

…

Attempt 52: Massage. (Okay, this one was for my own benefit... I'm bored, okay?)

Result: Great success!

…

Attempt 56: Since her fever is finally breaking due to a combination of effects I'm going to try to tackle the root cause. From the looks of things, she's been envenomed. By coincidence she seems to have been bitten on the upper thigh... which I wouldn't have found if I weren't so... inquisitive. Yay! Perversion saves the day once again!

I'm going to try to suck the poison out. Don't get any weird ideas, okay? It's just to help her... the view and places involved are a perk. (Side Note: The venom doesn't seem to be necrotic or a neurotoxin, so this isn't a worst case scenario.) Since I have no mouth I'm using a tube of depressurised air. Like a bellows being opened.

Result: … uh... well I enjoyed it anyway.

Attempt 57: I dunno. Try to draw the venom out by hand? As in reach into her body and pull it out. After all my 'hands' don't actually exist, they are simply a thought construct in control of an area of space. Wait. Could this mean I can possess people? Food for thought.

Result: Triumph! Yes I can separate the venom from her blood stream and lymphatic system and drain it out of her, back through the bite wound. I'm actually surprised by this, since:

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

A. I'm not overly familiar with human biology

B. I have no clue what the venom is, either by chemical structure or by effect. I'm surprised I'm not draining out her spleen or something. I'm not a doctor, I just know the names of things.

C. At least I think I wasn't a doctor. Fairly sure. Seventy percent positive.

But hey, it worked.

I feel the venom isn't natural. I take the few drops of the deadly substance and try to examine it closely. It seems to be mana-like? Fascinating. It's trying to blend with my body. It almost seems alive.

In fact it's not letting go!

Even though I released my arms, it still managed to find me!

This black mana stands out against the white mana around me. Streaking across the area it lunges at me and burrows into my core trying to... wait, why doesn't that hurt? I'm waiting! Where's the agony, the delirium... the attack?

Great. I've got magical parasites. Mana worms.

And here I thought I was safe from STDs as an inorganic blob of mana... not that I did anything that would earn one... more or less. So now I've got the magic equivalent of crabs.

I flick the kid, annoyed by this.

“Oww?! But I didn't use magic at all!” [Boy]

In a roundabout way this is all your fault, brat.

Go to sleep already, so I can escape.

…

I just realized, by dragging this out I'm only exacerbating the situation. He'll cry more from me hitting him for his faults than he will if I leave, because he obviously has too many.

I feel like such an idiot right now.

So, like a bandaid it has to be: right off!

I kick off and drift away from the ripples the kid leaves. He's crying, of course. He had mana he could sense, he lost it. It's a question of sensitivity. He has all the sensitivity (toward mana) of a lump of soil. Literally the kid looks about the same in terms of quality of mana produced and refined as the ground he's standing on.

I feel sorry for the little insomniac, but fair's fair. I protected him and healed his mother without a word of gratitude. You reap the bitter tears of your miserable fate. For I have... ohhhh... boobies...

The Mother is disrobing in her sleep. I drift in for a good look at the twin peaks of glory. Afufufu...

Such a stunning vista. I watch the steady rise and fall of time as they make a sound that I though fiction. Pyon-pyon~...

If you had asked if I believed in a god earlier, I would have said no. However confronted with these miracles and their impossible murmur, pyon-yon~... I have changed my mind. Yes, for truly is there no greater proof that god exists and he is a breast man than this? To have allowed perfection to bounce perkily like jello in real life as I watch.

All hail the mighty god of cleavage and busty women! I would weep tears of joy at the vision of loveliness you gift me (if I could)! Blessed be your bosoms and majestic your mammaries!

Day 3

Five hours later the kid interrupts my worship of the divine. By waking up.

Wait... when did he fall asleep and why am I still attached to him?

Don't tell me... I see. So the legends are true. Her left breast is only used for evil. Seducing my rationality away to trick me into staying with your little boy a while longer... well played half-naked, delirious goddess, well played.

I suppose there are worse places to be, I mean I got MILF. Oh and milk too. They have goats for that. Mmm delicious milf...

Hm? She's awake! I'm witnessing an improbable event that appears to be a miracle! Just look at the golden sparkles in her wake... hey, what is that? It certainly isn't hair so clean it glows (not that her hair isn't clean-ish... I'm just saying she has spent many sweaty hours without grooming).

I have a close look, touching the sparkles. Weird. It isn't mana as I know it.

I wonder what that is.

Damn pretty, though.

What we learned:

Mana comes in many different forms.

Ironic a parasite (symbiote) is a form of Venom...

Poor kid, it feels like he's being taken for a ride by the nature of the MC.