Pain….

How well do you know pain?....

How familiar are you with it?....

Do you know what the most painful thing is for a victim of fire?

It's surviving.

You can't even begin to imagine the pain, the torture as your skin begins to singe, slowly curling and peeling, folding into itself to give space for the flames and heat to get to your muscles.

Then came the smoke, choking the air out of your lungs and suffocating you. You cough and hack your lungs out, pieces of your burnt viscera mixing with the spit that comes out of your mouth.

All splattering on the floor to serve as fuel for the flames to burn even more.

You might think that surviving is a good thing, 'At least you are alive…'

That's bullshit.

If only you could comprehend the amount of agony, a pain so intense, you beg for death.

Have you ever seen the grim reaper?

I've seen the grim reaper.

And I've begged and begged for him to claim my life. But that bastard refuses, and instead, watches as I relive the pain. That miserable wretch seems keen on watching me suffer for eternity.

The burning, the choking, it remains in my mind, as fresh as day. Every minute, every second I experienced that excruciating torture, over and over again.

Like a never ending circle of torture. It was like I never left the fire.

The only comfort comes from the lady beside me, Zora was her name. A young and kind lady.

Unfortunately, she was slowly dying. But unlike her, she will go once it's time and not be left behind by death to suffer a never ending loop of torture by flames.

— Ahh, Jasmine sighed as she looked around her, her garment shredded, her hair once white now soaked red with the blood of her enemies.

I listened as Zora read the book, I was as silent as a dead man. Maybe I was.

At first, I would scream every single day. I would glare at the grim reaper; he was always standing by my side, watching as I suffered.

I would beg and beg for him to take me but not once has he ever replied.

After three months of this hell, I've finally gotten used to the pain. I've gotten used to the wretch that was the grim reaper and now, just like me, he was listening to Zora.

— The battlefield, once a massive field, was now a pool of red. The smell of iron filled the air and ashes fell from the sky as she stood alone, the last of humanity.

Zora's voice was as pretty as a bird's. It was soothing and for the first time since I was born, I felt at peace.

I am an orphan. I lived most of it life as peacefully as possible. I gave to the needy even when I barely had enough, I made sure to be kind and passionate.

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I was your typical people pleaser and I was darn good at it. I had no enemies. Or at least I thought so.

It wasn't my fault, I made sure to mind my business. A young lady fell in love with me, she was nineteen years old, three years younger than I was.

Her boyfriend got mad and instead of talking it out like a normal human, or beating me up like a sensible gangster would, he did none.

Instead, he stalked me, found my address and set my house on fire while I slept.

'What a bastard.'

— The end.

I glanced at Zora from the corner of my eyes—I couldn't move my head. Her brown eyes still held light within them and her pale skin did nothing to hinder her beauty.

I knew she could tell that I wasn't paying attention but she didn't mind. I've listened to her read this particular book a million times.

'Well, more like seven to nine times…." But still, I basically knew everything that happened.

"You were lost in your thoughts again." She said, her voice gentle. I chuckled, ignoring the pain.

For some reason, my burns weren't healing. I once begged a nurse to pull the plug and she did, unfortunately, I could survive even without life support.

I feel cursed.

"I don't know why he won't claim me. At this point, I doubt hell is this painful."

Zora chuckled, her laughter was like bells ringing. Not the loud church bells, no, the gentle fairy ones that rang during Christmas.

"Maybe you are dead already."

I looked at Zora, my brow raised. Or at least I thought it was.

'the fact that I don't have any hair, coupled with the fact that I can't feel seventy percent of my body,... I'm not sure I even move my face.'

"I mean, what if you are a ghost." Zora continued, as if she understood that I was confused.

She probably did. She was very intuitive.

"Since you claim to be able to see the grim reaper, what if you are dead, at least partially, but something is holding you back?"

'hmm…' I began to mull over Zora's words. If you've lived through what I have, you learn to consider every possibility, even the impossible.

After all, my current situation was something that shouldn't be possible too.

"So like a regret? Or dying wish?"

"Yes." Zora smiled.

"Heh," I chuckled. There were probably a lot of things holding me back before, but I'm not so sure now. I just want the suffering to end.

"Try it." Zora's voice rang in my ears once again and I looked at her. Her eyes were brilliant and they compelled me to listen to her.

"Tell me, Reo, what do you regret the most? If you had a chance to do it all over again, how would you live your life?"

I became silent, not like I talked much. I began to think about Zora's words, about my life, now I've managed to live up until the fire.

It was then I realized that my life was miserable. I never lived for myself, I only lived for others.

'Maybe that's why I can't die, because I need someone else's permission…'

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. The anger was overwhelming, to the point that I almost forgot about the pain.

After what felt like eternity, after I managed to calm down and recollect my thoughts, I finally spoke.

"If I could do it over again,..."

My voice came out in a soft whisper, almost like my very being was against speaking.

"I would live for myself. I would be me through and through. I will love myself and serve only myself."

I felt a hot liquid seep out of my eyes as they got blurry. I didn't even realize I was this emotional.

I looked away from Zora, I didn't want her to see me the way I was. But when I turned my head, I saw the most shocking thing.

The grim reaper was extending his hand to me. For the first time since I've been here, he finally moved.

"Zora,..." I began,

"I know." She replied.

I reached out my hand, or at least I thought I did. I held onto the grim reaper, his cold bony hands a stark contrast to the burning heat that had ravaged me for months.

"Thank you…" I said. The last thing I heard was the voice of the nurse. It wasn't frantic but instead, one of relief.

"Time of death; 11-59pm."