That place was inside the eastern compound of Wei's inner courtyard. Called the Eastern wing, it was primarily used as residence of daughters and young masters of the family. Each son and daughter had their own courtyards, with gardens and all its other amenities. But everyone in Weijia knew that the Eastern wing had a forbidden zone.
Quietly tucked between falling walls and unkempt pathways, its position was ingeniously secretive. Surrounding it, that abandoned courtyard beside the pond, there were several linked courtyard houses close by. Each separated by small alleys and pathways, arched bridges and elegantly placed corridors supported by high pillars and overarching roofs with their eaves curled up towards the sky. At this moment, those eaves let down droplets of falling dew, pitter-pattering onto the marbled paths. A puddle had long formed just under it. Pitter patter, pitter patter it went - that was the only sound that could be heard tonight, the only sound audible in such deep hours.
At day time, when light flooded its premises aplenty, these buildings with their sprawling gardens and tall pillars standing along alleys and corridors and disjointed but commonplace pavilions, gazebos for resting and lingering around at leisure; all of these formed quite a picturesque escape from limpid, mundane feelings of everyday life into more idyllic recesses of comfort. Especially in Jinghai, where the weather never resorted to being too cold or dry, every month was akin to spring or monsoon- Wei manor was delicately refined with the weather in mind, allowing every occupant to enjoy its various pleasures at all times.
But at night, with its vast empty spaces and darkness enveloping everything and anything and with no human to add a tale to its tall walls - it appeared plagued with a morbid sense of maligned mourning. As if its stone walls were crying. Its high and curled eaves hung a pained soul. Its lament resounded in the wind, the anger in its emptiness; even the redness of festive lanterns of such a night that had passed tonight couldn't ward off that melancholy. That ever-present emptiness.
Unsurprisingly, no one dwelled here. Nor did any one dared to come close to it.
Despite the proximity with those more bustling courtyards of older misses and young masters, with their crowds of slaves and servants filing in and out at all hours of night and day close by - this specific spot seemed to be cut-off from all that liveliness. Day or night, it remained forgotten. In fact, its walls had long formed cobwebs like those of an abandoned building, left to the mercy of time, and traces of dust settling down could be found everywhere. Its red pillars had their paints flaking off - its actual color only visible in remaining blotches. The roofs were beyond repair, and moths and termites had visibly eaten away a chunk of its previous architectural glory. Who might have lived in these walls before? That was something only a few people knew.
At a nearby shore, grasses were as tall as an adult man's thigh; their sharp blades made a slithering noise whenever the wind blew past the pond water towards them. To-night there was no such wind, or when it came it was too quick to die down. The dawn had yet to approach. The red paper lanterns were still hung outside, dangling down the eaves glowing in the dark. Their red reflection falling on the walls were mottled, sliding, often flickering once, twice in the soft breeze. One could even hear a crisp ringing of a bell coming from somewhere inside the gloomy chambers.
It must be the hour when the darkness is as deep as can be imagined – like blue ink softening into abyssal nothingness. Even the light of the lantern seemed to be being sucked off, an embrace all too suffocating to its existence. And there was no sound. Apart from that haunting pitter-pattering that never ceased to make its presence felt. No noise of crickets chirping, no rustling of the grasses. Only silence.
"Plop!"
Water. Cold and biting stung her. It was a torture to endure!
"Why? Why should I endure this? Why? Why-Why-Why this fate? Why only me? No, I won't accept this!"
Someone had fallen into the pond and she was drowning. No one came to her rescue. At the moment of fall, waves after waves washed up to the shore furiously, washing the grasses into clumps of bowing stalks. But soon all the rippling waves and tremors settled down, like a river settling down after a piece of pebble fell into it. The previous silence gripped the scene at chokehold, stifling it as before. It wasn't until fifteen minutes later that a pair of bony hands broke the pond's stillness again.
Those hands were like a ghoulish spirit breaking through its burial mound, ready to chew at the spectator. A figure frantically broke through, came out panting and gasping for life. Her white hands pierced the black waters, a head rose first then her shoulders emerged and then her nose came out choking over a mouthful of dirty water - all while frantically wading to stay afloat. Haggard and desperate, she remained engrossed in that heady adrenaline of having survived, panting for breath, then choking horrifically over it, and then gasping and panting some more while still pushing forward through the dark waters towards the shore.
But it was difficult - the task to stay afloat. Her thick cloak seemed determined to drag her down under water, as did the weeds entangling her ankle bones. From the way she tried to swim, she didn't look like someone who had ever come in contact with water, or had ever paddled in general. It was sheer desperation that kept her afloat. But fortunately, in a few minutes her white hands clenched the grasses over the pond's shore and forced herself out. This brusqueness of her spirit abruptly ended as she toppled over, with the last bit of protest stifled out.
Kneeling, Wei Ziya let out a silent cry. No sound came out at first through her strangled neck, yet her eyes were round and hazy and desperately roving in their places - forced to engorge, as the pupils dilated and wavered. Her whimpers finally reached her mouth and then like the most horrific song of a dying bird, her lips trembled and let out a cry. And what a cry it was - like a deer's last breath at an approaching death. And then, she kept crying...crying her heart out. She knew not why, but she cried and kept crying for a long time.
When the sound of her desperate crying ceased it was a long, long while later. Tears still dribbled down warming her cold cheeks, her throat now sore like a piece of sandpaper rubbing together. But having vented much of her helplessness, her frustration of a lifetime - Wei Ziya lay sprawled on her back gazing upward into the black sky for an unknown amount of time.
Wei Ziya knew. Tonight, she got a bargain, she had saved herself. She had escaped a fatal point in her life. In her previous life - she remained undiscovered in this very pond till the next morning, and when she was finally rescued it was not herself. Everyone thought she just recovered from a coma; but only she knew...she had drowned that night, and was replaced by another woman’s soul.
That woman took away her body, took her name and used it as her own. She still remembered those seemingly parting words - "Don't worry over your karmas in this world. I will take care of your family in your place and cherish them as you should have done yourself. Please go worriless on your journey to the netherworld and start a new life."
These words were so final, so direct. As if she was destined to end everything that night, despite her body being still alive and fine. But Wei Ziya hadn't died completely. She couldn't just go off to some netherworld on her own, could she? There were no underworld guards to lead her straying soul, no light that transported her to life after death...nothing. She helplessly kept struggling on the verge of death, watching that alien soul pretend to be her. Watched her lie, kill and set fire to all things she loved!
"Ha! What a Heaven's Chosen daughter-!" Wei Ziya flinched, saying out aloud. "All along it was her! That famed shell of heaven's daughter...it could only be me. A soul reborn in phoenixes fire, they called her, and what about me? That forgotten shell that was replaced by another soul? Who could have thought- the pure white fairy of the immortal realm was nothing but a cuckoo overtaking a nest?!"
Heaven's Chosen children. Wei Ziya later learned that these were considered the blessings of any world. If one was lucky to be born in years of heroes and heroines, they could achieve anything they ever wanted! Become like those supporting characters in a famous tale and go all the way to ascension, or be like those pitiable cannon-fodders, dying the most ignoble deaths! If someone fell into enmity with these Chosen people - his only end could be death. As if the world was a piece of a bard's tale - and everyone else just puppets, waiting to bow down under the light of those heaven's children. Only they were humans, everyone else a mere puppet in their story!
Wei Ziya laughed. She had seen it play out too, a completely fantastical story. Watched that daughter of heaven reach an unparalleled position, since the day she took over her body. From a small mortal world, she escaped its demise and went to become a cultivator, joining the biggest sect in that Taiyuan realm of cultivation. She became the highly sought after cultivator, the only one who had become a Mahayana level ancestor in just a hundred years! She was the only student of an ancient immortal that had noble ties with the Spiritual realm which even cultivators dreamed of reaching in a lifetime. Her senior brothers were one of the most outstanding cultivators with huge cultivation families supporting them from behind! Highly qualified men sought after her; whether they themselves were already engaged or married, it didn't matter much to anyone. High positioned women tore at her at any chance they got as if she was the bane of their lives, never minding their own positions and statuses. Whoever stood opposite her died or was silenced forever! Whoever stood with her, became the most fortunate person in the whole realm! Who else could be heaven's chosen one if not her?!
But Wei Ziya didn't care. Neither for her nobility or fame, nor her endless struggles that earned her Immortality. That woman could dance her favorite dances all she liked; it didn't matter to her. The world was full of geniuses.
She didn't envy their fates. She just hated - hated her! Hated her entitlement, her selfishness. It was because of that woman, her indifference that this small realm had taken its final gasp - her Jinghai was no more. Her world in which she had been born and grew up, watched people laugh and cry, cheered along with them... this world was torn and shredded to pieces. Only because this realm had long served its purpose with that woman's entrance into the cultivation realm! Its humans were worthless, its animals just senseless existence and all it could ever be was a place to go in search of treasures. Soon enough, when the last bit of treasure was drained away - what was the need of a plane that served no purpose or benefit to them?
That woman who called herself Ying Yueru, she clearly knew many things. Although Wei Ziya couldn't peek into that woman's memories, her actions had fully exposed that she could have done many things if she wanted to save this small realm.
Afterall, among the Gods who controlled this world's fate, there was definitely one who later became her future master-uncle's, after worshiping her master as a teacher for life! But she hadn't done anything. She had even fuelled the fire to end this world earlier.
What about taking care of her karmas for herself? Wei Ziya, that helpless original owner of the body- she was long forgotten! That woman hadn't even shied away from dirtying her hands while sharing those spoils from that final war! She hadn't even flinched, hesitated just for a while, as she was piling up all that blood-sucked treasure into her coffer!
After that defeat, nothing had mattered to Wei Ziya in those years, as everything she cared for was dead or destroyed. She couldn't remember why she was so obsessed with living on. But everytime she deliberated vanishing, she found it pitiable. As if a piece of her world was caressing her head, saying -
"O child, but don't I dwell in thy heart? When you recall, I thrive. You see, after your death - there will be no one with my memory...alive."
Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
With her death, that history of her defeated world would also vanish. As a silent witness of that year's war between humans and 'gods', as the lone survivor of her world's tragic end - wouldn't it be too tragic, that she too died so pitiably? Wasn't the best value of her, a silent witness of that atrocity, that she reminisces about that piece of past forever? Forever echoing that final scene of death, of parting, that final flash of light when her realm shattered into arms of universe's darkness?
So, she had lived. But no one knew her, a certain Wei Ziya. Her name too was soon forgotten as the woman changed it back to her own. All relations dead, her birthplace blasted to bits - and she herself only able to watch like a bystander as someone else carried on a happy life using her body; she was like a lone star dwelling in endless darkness. Floating, floating forever with no strings to fall back on.
Not tonight - that alien soul from another world, let's see how she comes to this world this time around!
"Oh, what a loss to the world would be her majestic love! Her endless fame and her lore. No one will recount her legends anymore - what a pity! All this, because she, that parasitic ghost couldn't replace a fainted soul! Tonight, tonight she dies as I died. I Wei Ziya, mother goddess, lived a proud life, as you asked us. I waited and waited for justice. Then as a gift, let me relive that past of shame, of defeat...let me remember it...all alone in this new life."
What about children of heaven? It wasn't her own heaven to begin with, nor this world's. Heavenly rule of this realm died the night this realm collapsed. Then why should it be her, who had to sacrifice her soul and body to hold that woman's soul – the 'chosen one' of those invaders? For glory – but whose? Clearly not her own, nor of this world's! Whether it was the so-called 'heaven's chosen one', or that alien soul from 'another world' - what do these titles have to do with this small realm? Nothing! And it wasn't like there couldn't be another chosen child of heaven if a single Ying Yueru dies! Someone will replace a mere Ying Yueru, right?
"But...the master who played with the world is no more." She said and laughed which ended in a coughing fit.
As Wei Ziya coughed, she recalled with tears in her eyes the exchange between those two lovers in the final year before their ascension. Before she was captured by that woman and given away as a prisoner to her well-wishers.
***
"Ying Yueru-! It is only a matter of time, just a few more years." That man had embraced Wei Ziya's body and cried. "Before long we will be legitimate lovers and no one will ever come in between us. After we have dealt with this rumor of divined Heaven's daughter - we, yes, you and I will become a Taoist couple! And no one can stop us this time. No chosen one will ever come in between us. I swear to heaven – I, Chen Jinhua, swear that I will never fall in love with another woman after you, Ying Yueru or else I will have my cultivation ruined, my life shattered under thunder strikes to never be reborn again!"
"Don't - You don't have to do this!"
"But I do. My love needs no proof lower than this. I love you."
"But what about that immortal fate? Master Ming already predicted that you will have a smooth-sailing life if you entered into matrimony with her - that phoenix. Your dragon blood can only be tied down to her - she is your destined partner, for heaven’s sake! What about the love your men have for you? Their expectations...? How will you answer them? After all, the emperor of the Spiritual realm is no light title...your Dragon blood makes you its natural heir."
Ying Yueru had cried with her doelike eyes flooded with tears. "What about those Taoists divining that only a daughter of heaven can ever completely get you rid of your bad-luck? I don't want to be the reason for your death! Moreover, can I believe that you will forgo that temptation - of ascending to heaven with no hurdles in your path? Becoming an entity who can rule a whole realm? Can you deny its allure and not blame me for keeping you away from all that? You will easily succeed and ascend to the spiritual realm with her help, and then your dragon clan, your father and mother will be expecting you to have done that! Don't persuade me otherwise - please!"
Wei Ziya remembered feeling disgusted at that charade. That woman was clearly pretending - she had seen her personally kill that phoenix seed in a cradle in the mortal world and then suck out all its luck!
As she recalled this conversation, Wei Ziya couldn't help but shiver. There were so many alien forces penetrating her mortal realm... If Ying Yueru doesn't take that Phoenix seed or kill that infant - will this mortal realm see the rise of another heroine? Will this chosen daughter of heaven become another antagonistic element to this world?
Wei Ziya shirked away her thoughts and continued recalling.
"But Ying Yueru...there is still no such person in this world right now! And I fell in love with you -and that is a fact. There will never be anyone better than you, purer than you, more loving and kind-hearted than you. How could I ever dream of leaving you? And did not the master Ming of the Qiyun sect foresee that it is more likely that such a woman had already appeared? If it was my fate to love her - then why don't you believe that you, Ying Yueru are the one being talked about in these divinations? Because that is more likely than thinking I could ever betray you!"
The young man had traced her body's falling tresses and whispered into her ears. "You are the youngest Mahayana cultivator. There is no one who can compete with you when it comes to luck or resources or ability - they cannot even do that in their dreams. Who doesn't know of your high accomplishments in alchemy? The God of medicine himself left you an inheritance! If there is a heaven's chosen daughter with heaven piercing luck, a blessing for the whole cultivation realm, then in my heart it can only be you!"
"But what if-?! What if there is a soul who owns such a fate? Who is the protagonist of this world – who should be your one true love and the one who you should have loved, not me?! What if she suddenly knocks on the door one day and then you just leave me behind to go after her?"
"But there is no such person! Do you think so low of my love-? Can anyone sway me away if they wanted to? What are you even thinking about ru’er?"
"What if!? We both know how powerful destiny written by heaven can be. I…I am just afraid that you will change one day."
"Then I can only disappoint others, and go against heaven! We cultivators were originally destined to go against the heavens from the day we started practicing. Our existence on its own is a huge resistance against this natural order of heavenly rule. Attempting to keep my love for you intact and be with you in all the difficulties and pleasures of my life - how could I disappoint you in that vow? I have already promised, I will only love you -Ying Yueru! I will fulfill that, no matter what comes in my way! You just need to believe in me."
"Then...I will believe you. But remember these words you said to me."
***
And he was right, that man. That woman really was heaven's daughter - even if she had never let anyone know of that fact. Or that she had stolen that fate from a baby. While the world searched for a sign of this chosen daughter, she was lurking in the shadows watching everyone play a game of tag. How she knew of that Phoenix seed, or who let her know that it could make her the noblest of heaven's creation – Wei Ziya could only wonder. It was just a pity that she didn’t know the place where that child was born, or else she could go herself and see if anything could be done to stop another Ying Yueru from rising up.
Wei Ziya thought and imagined with great intensity; a world where Ying Yueru was missing. What would such a world look like? Another woman will be the first to rank in halls and lists of greatest of cultivators - perhaps it could be that baby who will grow up intact this time. Another person will snatch that alchemy inheritance she prided on. And that lover - he will lie in the laps of a different woman! All that just because she couldn't snatch a mere mortal soul-!
Wei Ziya tiredly squinted out the water from her eyes. New tears kept flooding down her cheek, warming her face.
Yet, she had been unfortunate to only come back at this point. A year or two more - she could have done so much to help the resistance. But now, everything was already on the path of no return. The ritual ceremony of sacrifice will be carried out next year. Two years later, this world will erupt in an all out war draining away all its peace and prosperity. Humans will stand tall against cultivators - but with such power imbalance and disparity, anyone could foresee the outcome.
Wei Ziya thought as she wrung water out from her cloak, which was now hanging heavily on her body. She wrung her long tresses. Wiped her cheeks of the tears but some more poured out. Salty water drenched her face, those drops of heated liquid made her lose all her grace and bearing. Her cracked lips lined into a whimper, shivering in emotion and cold. "But this time, when everything enters darkness – I wouldn't be left alone wondering why."
But was it really her soul's rebirth tonight? Not a cruel joke by that woman's father - that red phoenix? Or those high immortals of the spiritual realm to win her favor? Showing her what she wanted the most to only snatch it away later - haven't they already done that a million of times?
But this event, to-night, was so personal to that woman? How could she let a soul know of this night? She hadn't even shared that secret with her lover! After all, it was a taboo whether in the cultivation realm, or spiritual realm – to take over someone else's body was considered the most frowned upon thing. Only heathens did that, no orthodox cultivator could ever fall to such a degree. Especially, not a pheonix seed, someone with noble phoenix blood and inheritance!
Or could it be that she was dreaming? Was that all that happened in her previous life rather a dream, a premonition that unfolded her destiny foretelling all her fallings and victories? A forewarning? A blessing from the dark- from some unknown force that wanted her to escape those dark days and those vile men and women? Mother goddess-?
But Wei Ziya shook her head. No, the mother goddess is dead.
'No,' she argued with herself softly. 'How could someone give me this chance if he wanted me to fulfill my predestined role? And if he was against this predestined fate- why chose me, a shell with no value? I, myself, am not that worthy - to shoulder this heavy duty of saving a world. In fact, all my life, I have been struggling with bad-luck of the most horrific kind. Living like a mirror, only reflecting what others did and wanted. While I remained stifled in an inhuman state - is there any ability still left in me? Always lingering on the periphery of being discovered, destroyed and being punished and facing blood curdling helplessness. As if the dictates of my fate were those failures – and my sinful birth only deserving of this treatment. As a shell who cares what befalls me? But why...why only me?"
As pain numbed her senses, doubts arose in her mind.
Was this bad-luck result of her birth? Yes, she shouldn't have been born – as a proof of the sins of old, a detestable existence like her should never have a happy ending. Karma was never on her side. But – being born only to die? Who chose this punishment? Why should her life be taken just to fill in a gap for others - acting like a body container for a foreign soul -like an empty casket which could be emptied at will?
"Do I deserve being treated like that?" Her voice cracked, piercing through the silence.
'No,' Wei Ziya shrunk her shoulders and broke out into shivers. 'I am not made of wood. Of course, I shouldn't have been treated like that! Look, when my ashes should have settled in the river of time, I am back here. Whatever the cause, I am still me. No one, no soul knows I am back here! Look – look at these arms, these limbs and myself- I am still me! This is me! Even if this is another dream they weave, I will break through it, one day...one day. Even if it's another evil trick – I will live through it like all those other times. Yes, I was never an unthinking log of wood...I had always been a human. I will never think of myself so low...no-! No one knows what happened in a previous life. No one."
"Tip-tap-tip"
Water droplets dripped from the eaves.
Wei Ziya jerked awake. Her eyes took in her present surroundings, finally coming out of her deep thoughts. The pond and those time ravaged buildings...it was night time, still. Her eyes contracted with a strange, weird yet apprehensive glint. She looked around once more, finding no other figure near her. There were no maids around.
Way past twelve in the night. Perhaps way past even the most of the night! The silence was dead, as gloomy as penetrating despair. No cricket chirping. Even the wind had fallen down, leaving no trace of itself behind.
Wei Ziya hurriedly retracted her feet which were still dangling inside the water. She crawled back with so much intensity that for a while her whole body ached and trembled. But she didn't care for that. In the rush of the moment, the sharp blades of tall grasses cut several lines on her wrist – she didn't feel it bleeding too. All she had in her mind was how to rush back. She had to run, but her legs were not rising up. She limped along the unpaved path, while strenuously struggling to increase her pace.
She couldn't stay outside. The family warning resounded in her mind; her grandfather had strictly restricted anyone, not even night-watches and guards could remain outside their chambers during night-time. She didn't know the reason in her past life, but she knew that whatever was restricted was for a reason.
'I should go back.'