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Melody (5)

"Melody? It's Bellavarn. I just wanted to speak for a moment. It won't be long, I promise."

Bellavarn winced as he heard the desperation in his own voice. Still, this was something he had to do. Melody still held Sallow's heart and there wouldn't be a way to salvage it unless the two of them spoke face to face.

Silence met him. It was long enough for Bellavarn to knock again.

"Melody? Please. I just need five minutes. If you could open the door?"

More silence. Nothing but a whinny from the carriage horse.

Bellavarn took a couple of steps back. Smoke rose from the chimney. There was definitely someone here. Knocking again, he spoke louder.

"Melody. If you are there-"

The door opened with a creak. Brown eyes peered out of the darkness.

"What do you want?"

The voice was meek, tiny.

"Melody. I wanted to speak for a moment. Can I-"

"No."

*Bang*

"Ow."

Bellavarn groaned as the door slammed on his foot.

"Leave."

"I can't. Please, just a few minutes."

"No!"

*Bang*

Bellavarn held in his cries as the door hit his foot harder.

"Young Master-"

Bellavarn cut off Oslo's words.

"This is between Melody and me."

He braced for another slam, but it never came.

"Melody."

There was a long pause, but a defeated answer finally came.

"Fine."

=

The inside of the home was sparse—a table in the center with a rickety bed off to the side. There was chopped wood near the fireplace. Not many other possessions were present in the room. Wooden bowls and spoons. Dreary was the word most apt.

Melody stood in the dismal room with the table acting as a barrier. Wrapped in a thick blanket, her brown hair was tied back with a wooden fork. A nasty bruise circled her eye.

Bellavarn shuffled his feet, not knowing exactly what to say now that he was here.

"Well?"

Her words acted as the trigger.

"What happened at the mansion? You couldn't have been gone more than a half-hour between the time I saw you leave and when... "

A pause. Bellavarn didn't want to say it aloud and offend her.

"What happened? Who attacked you?"

Melody was silent. She looked into the fire. It shimmered in her hazel eyes. Bellavarn's voice was soft as he continued.

"Was it happening the entire time you were with me? I thought we became close over the last week, but I was too inept to know."

There was no response as Melody gazed at the crackling fire.

"Did you not think you could come to me? I would have... I could have done something. I would not have rested until you were safe."

Bellavarn fidgeted at the continued silence. The blank expression didn't suit her. She should be angry, furious, depressed, anything. Just not this.

"Can you- Can you at least tell me who? I can hunt them down for what they did. Or I can have the soldiers do it. Whoever touched you doesn't deserve to draw breath-"

"It was me."

Bellavarn halted. He shook his head.

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"You don't have to cover for them."

"I said..."

Melody's gaze swiveled to stare at Bellavarn. Fire played in her eyes, but Bellavarn felt a coldness that was incomparable to Braster's.

"...it was me."

Furrowed brows. Blinking. His jaw didn't want to work.

"I did it. I did this to myself."

More head shaking and a missed step.

Shakily righting himself, Bellavarn spoke.

"I don't believe you.

"You don't have to. I. Did. It. To. Myself. I gave myself the black eye. I cut my feet on the glass that I broke. I fell onto the shards willingly. I bruised myself. I cut myself. I burned myself!"

The room was spinning in a way that gave Bellavarn deja vu.

Think. Use logic. It doesn't make any sense if you puzzle it out.

"No. You couldn't have. Not all of it. The bruises were weeks old."

"I threw myself down the stairs. Every. Day."

"The glass-"

"An old window I found in storage, I shattered it in the lobby."

"The black-eye."

"I ran myself into the stove in the kitchen. You could probably find the dent my face made."

"Burning?"

"Fire poker."

"No. No, no, I don't believe it. Mother said you were-."

"Pigs' blood. Remember the bacon you had for breakfast?"

Bellavarn felt his world crumbling. He clutched at his chest, hyperventilating.

She's lying. She has to be. To protect someone? Who is forcing her to go this far?

He heard Melody scoff. Was this real? Was his world real? Was it- No. No. There were still holes in her story.

Slowly but surely, he refiltered air into his lungs.

"You had no reason to do such a thing. There's zero benefit."

"No? Look around."

Melody gestured to the room around her.

"I needed money. I figured I'd blackmail the Duke. It worked too. I get a fortune once I leave. But I need to wait until Winter is over to travel."

"You had no need to go to such lengths! I told you, didn't I? The pen. I said I'd talk to the Duke into giving you a bonus. If you stayed, even if you played with my heart, you could have gained so much more."

Bellavarn's argument was piercing. The entire plan made no sense. Maybe in the beginning she planned to rob the Sallows, but she must have realized how Bellavarn's feelings along the way. She could have milked the family dry or even more. Instead, she squandered all that for a quick payout? Melody was smarter than that.

There was a harsh, throaty laugh as Melody doubled over.

"You really are a fucking idiot, aren't you? Do you really think I wanted to spend time playing girlfriend to the son of a Duke? To be dragged into politics and courtly affairs? I never wanted any of that. I wanted money. Coin! Jewelry and fancy clothes-"

"I would have given it all to you!"

"Will you open your eyes! You got played. Forget about me. I'll be gone in less than a month when the snow dries up, and then you can forget I ever existed. Or hit yourself over the head for all I care."

Melody waved an arm in dismissal.

Bellavarn was imploding. The world was getting smaller and smaller, his vision turning white again. With desperation, he grasped onto anything.

"...Your sisters."

"Fake! Made up. Fictitious! I taught you that word, remember?"

His sense of self was crumbling. He could hear bells ringing and the swirling of a ceiling fan. It was happening all over again. Again, his world turned round, repeating itself. Bellavarn's first love cheated on him. Sallow's first love played him for a fool. This wasn't fair. How did he deserve this? No. Melody was lying. To protect him. From someone. A monster. A politician.

"Are you going to get out now?

Clarity.

Bellavarn came back. Rummaging in a coat pocket, he retrieved his journal.

"I don't believe you."

"Have you not been listening?"

He turned the pages, finding the last and tearing it out.

"I said I don't believe you. The Melody I remember is brilliant. A woman capable of immense strength and kindness."

He handed the page over to Melody, showing him exactly how he saw her.

"You're not someone who'd harm yourself. You wouldn't go through so much pain for simple coin. You're smart enough to play a long game, even if it wasn't what you desire."

Melody held the piece of paper in her hands. Her hazel eyes shone in the firelight.

"I can tell you aren't happy sitting here in the cold. I know you are a good person. Whether your sisters exist doesn't matter. I don't care what you lied about. You stole a piece of me the moment you kissed me. It will always belong to you."

Melody was quiet as her grip tightened. Bellavarn looked into her eyes. Light swirled in the darkness.

Melody made eye contact. His own crystal blue eyes reflected in her warm hazel ones.

"I..."

Bellavarn smiled as he saw the flicker of hope.

"I didn't realize how naive you really were."

The paper crumbled and flew into the fire.

"No!"

He dove into the fire, scattering the logs. Winter furs burned. Hands clutched a scorched piece of paper. He tore off his burning clothes and stamped them out.

"Are you done? If so, get out."

Bellavarn clutched the piece of paper in burnt fists, panting heavily.

"Get. Out."

Bellavarn stared at Melody, but he didn't see her.

"GET! OUT!"

=

Bellavarn tumbled out the door. It slammed shut behind him. He wanted to lay there in the snow, but Kerv and Henry lifted him out. He heard them arguing with each other as he stared at his hands, still holding the crumpled and burned piece of paper. It was doubtful that there was anything salvageable. Bellavarn felt it would crumble if he twitched. So, he held still.

"Oslo."

Oslo broke off from holding back Kerv and Henry. They were arguing how to get rid of her, and It looked like Oslo wanted to do the same but held enough common sense to realize it was the wrong decision.

"Young master Bellavarn."

"I would like you to arrange for a carriage."

"We have a carriage right here."

"Do not mistake me for being daft, Oslo. I mean a second one. Have it pick up Melody by tomorrow afternoon."

"For what reason?"

Bellavarn interrupted the older man, continuing as if the butler wasn't talking.

"The carriage is to take her to one of two destinations."

Oslo and company showed clear signs of worry as they stared at their young lord. None of them could speak up. Kerv and Henry held their weapons tightly. They'd eavesdropped on the conversation despite being told otherwise. They didn't hear every word, but they heard enough. The young lord's questions. Melody's revelation. Bellavarn's disbelief and proclamation of love. They heard the scuffle and could see the burn marks on his hands, noting his coat was missing.

None of it registered. Bellavarn simply spoke in the same halting monotone.

"The carriage is to bring her to the border or to the stables back at the mansion. It is her choice. If she changes her mind, in either direction, at any time, the carriage is to turn around. Is that understood?"

Oslo gave a solemn bow.

"It will be done."

"Good."

A ghost of a smile passed along his face. Bellavarn was guided to the carriage, and it trekked its way back home, where he collapsed into oblivion, shielding a small, round, crumpled, and burnt piece of paper.

=

The sun edged across the horizon as Bellavarn sat in the field next to the stables. No carriage in sight.

The moon rose and fell.

The sun rose again.

In the afternoon of the second day, the carriage returned.

Empty.