There’s this little feeling you get when everything is going to go to shit. And right now, I am experiencing that. Though the cause was unknown. I decided it would be best to figure out what I was doing first.

I twirled around to take in my surroundings. Tree tops with so many varying shades of green it was a rainbow in and of itself. The sky dotted with the puffiest clouds I’d ever seen and the color of… well… a perfect sky. I breathed in the air, feeling something bristle in my chest. That feeling I got earlier. That feeling of coming to life. 

“Are you done yet?” The slime jiggled in my grasp, seemingly irritated.

“Are you a boy or a girl?” I asked it. Honestly, I needed to know how to refer to it.

“What a rude thing to ask. What are you? You look pretty androgynous yourself.”

“I’m surprised you know such a big word,” I said honestly. Though, I wondered if things were intact with my rebirth. You know, my little ‘son’.

The slime huffed, “Don’t be, I’m far older than you and beyond wiser. That’s why I was chosen for this position. I was supposed to be assigned a gender when you pictured what you thought me to be. But since you chose a slime, and seeing as slimes have no sex, I am genderless.”

“Ah.”

“What about you?” It asked. I guess I will have to continue referring to it in the gender neutral way. What a bother.

“Well, I was a man in my past life, but I don’t know if that’s changed. In fact, I have no idea what I look like.” I touched my face with one hand, trying to maybe feel out what I looked like. That didn’t work. I was not as skilled as a blind person. Good to know. But the fact that I didn’t know who I was was kind of starting to freak me out, “I don’t know what I am anymore!”

“Why don’t we find a nice calm lake and you can sort yourself out and maybe bathe, because I think you pissed your pants out of fear.”

“Rude.”

“Honesty.”

We ventured about until we came across a small stream. I started to undress until the slime stopped me. 

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Woah, woah, woah. What do you think you’re doing?”

I shrugged, and offered only sarcasm, “Hunting elephants?”

“First of all, I can see you, aren’t you embarrassed? Second of all, what in the high hill is an elephant.”

And that’s when I realized all my old memories were in fact, intact. Splendid. Apparently even goddesses mess up. “You’re sexless right? That means it should be no problem, and you’re a slime, which probably means you have no sexual desires anyway. I thought this all through, don’t worry.” The slime muttered something but I went on, “Also, it’s a saying from my old world, because actually hunting elephants is illegal.”

“I see. Wait.”

“Hmmm?”

“Did you just say your old world? I mean, it happens sometimes where people retain their old memories, but never with a god, especially one of death. Death gods have to be compassionless, almost soulless to do their jobs.” As if in disbelief, it muttered, “I want to say so many bad words right now.”

“Why?”

“This is going to be a nightmare.”

I shrugged and began getting undressed. It seemed my current clothing was a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I noticed once I pulled off the t-shirt and set it down, it disappeared. 

“That’s curious,” I whispered to myself.

I quickly took off the pants and found the same thing happened to them. 

Finally, it was the moment of truth. My underwear was the only thing left on and so far, I was leaning towards male, given the flatness of my chest. Everything good so far. Unless, of course, I was a prepubescent girl. That could explain it.

I shook my head and closed my eyes. With a quick movement I had taken off my own underwear. 

“SHIT!” I screamed loud enough for birds to startle.

“What?” The slime looked at me with concern. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

I wailed, in a very unmanly manner, “I’m an ‘it’ too!”