"Brains!"

Out from the sea of walking dead a flaxen-haired, wiry youth ran.

"Brains! BRAINS!"

The youth sprinted down the derelict road, leaping over the occasional dead-dead corpse, and dived behind a heap of ruined cars-turned-barricade. He barely got into a crouch before a fresher body turned toward him and grabbed his arm.

"Brains," the body said, "check it, a group of survivors! And over there on the right—I think that girl's kinda cute, don't you?"

"Not so loud," hissed Brains. "I nearly busted my ankles getting over here in time to stop you screaming your head off and scaring her off," he said, taking a pair of binoculars and a data-slate from his satchel.

"Girls love a guy who has serious lung capacity and isn't afraid to use it, man,” drawled Jack, and took the binoculars. “This is, like, picking-up-girls one-oh-one."

Jack peered and appraised. A grin spread across his face. “I was right.  She’s as cute as can be.” He chucked. “Oh man, this is wild. You gotta take a look, do your nerd magic with your iTablet or whatever.”

The 5 survivors were apparently unaware of them, too busy breaking into a pharmacy 30 meters down the street. Brains missed the first one to enter—guy in a dark coat with an oversize, black sword—but he scanned the rest. No guns on them. Not being waved around, anyway. He zeroed in on the girl in question: She wore a gray and dark-red school uniform, knee-socks and all, and her red hair was done up in twin tails, shining in the sunlight like bundles of copper strands.

Brains frowned, and thumbed through data-slate entries. Shining hair? How do you get that going in the apocalypse? How did you get that but not a gun? The obvious answer of the scenic Capitol River came to him in acid green. Maybe so, but who would even bother to loot hair conditioner?

"Exactly, no one else. All the more for her," said Jack, making finger pistols.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, shame she didn't bring her sister. Or anyone else female. Or, hell, even anyone else in a skirt. But you know what that means? Exactly, no one else. All the more for her." Jack doubled his finger pistol recoil and added sound effects. "Pe-pew, pe-pew."

Brains sighed, lowered the binoculars, and smiled. "It's all clear, and it looks like the girl is the lone lookout. Come on, let's go. We have the perfect opportunity go up and talk to her."

"Show time, dude." Jack clapped him on the back and jerked a thumb over, then jumped up and went into the quietest full sprint he could manage.

Brains stared wide-eyed for a moment, his over-intricate engagement strategy dead on his lips, and scrambled after him in an internal panic.

Jack had chosen his time to match the girl patrolling the other way. He slowed into a swagger just a few meters away as the girl turned back around. With a smile, he waved a hand, the other casually in his pocket.

"Yo, beautiful, come here often?"

[Achievement get! Icebreaker]

[You gain 1 rank in Skill:Seduction]

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

The girl jumped back with a yelp. Her heel caught the curb and she stumbled farther backward, flailing her arms with surprised squeaks, letting go of her baton in the affair.

Jack boldly strode forward and reached out his hand to catch the spinning baton.

[Dexterity check failed]

The baton smacked into his thumb and spun off onto the ground, then rolled into a storm drain. Jack coughed into his fist, and decided he never saw any baton just then.

He glanced behind—Brains was agitatedly gesturing at him and down past him. Jack turned back, following the waves, jabs, and motions he could only describe as "conjuring," and saw the girl on her back, facing away from him. As such he was looking up her skirt.

Jack paused.

And paused.

"Hmm."

Jack paused and made noises of befuddled acknowledgment for a few more moments, then politely looked away. Only slightly looking from the corner of his eye—merely to know when she got back up, he rationalized.

Checkered.

[Your morality has degraded: Your shamelessness is a shadow on your soul]

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Brains said quietly, coming to a halt beside him. "She fell because of you, and you just stand there looming? Apologize, you wad."

"Heh, sorry, man."

"Not to me, to her!" Brains slapped his forehead.

"Cool it, I was doing both . . ."

Jack approached the girl, who had nearly snapped out of her concrete-induced daze, and extended a hand.

Before he could more than open his mouth, she bolted upright and backpedaled, a hand in her jacket. She said something, demanded something, maybe, but Jack did not understand a word.

[You lack the perk Zombie–Human Communication]

"Eh? What was that?"

Jack took a step closer.

She said something again, seemingly repeat herself—louder and harsher now. She drew her arms closer.

[You lack the perk Zombie–Human Communication]

Jack took another step forward.

From the pharmacy came a crash, then yelling. Brains sidled over, knees bent in a slight crouch and eying the gloomy interior intently. Another crash came and the yelling began moving away.

Brains nodded to himself, and gave Jack a thumbs-up.

Good.

The girl barked at Jack—literally barked—and when he turned to face her again he instead found the barrels of a sawed-off shotgun. He sucked in an unneeded breath through his teeth.

"Don't shoot me," Jack said simply.

[You lack the perk Zombie–Human Communication]

He was then shot twice, and crumpled to the ground in a heap.

[Achievement get! Ain’t That a Kick in the Head?]

[You gain 2 ranks in Skill:Piercing Resistance]

[You gain 2 ranks in Skill:Impact Resistance]

[You gain 2 ranks in Skill:Toughness]

[You gain 1 rank in Skill:Lead Poisoning Tolerance]

[URGENT WARNING: THE MAIN HERO IS CRITICALLY INJURED]