A slow and boring day as per usual. Especially today. I didn't win a single game today. At least I had some fun and laughs. *sigh* Should I buy those new cards? Ugh, don't wanna, they're like 50 bucks each god damn it. I slowly push myself up and grab my bag, ugh, fuck man my feet. I'd lose some of my fat gut if I could walk and stand properly. Maybe I should hit the pool and do some swimming today? Hmmmmm, nah fuck that I'm hungry. Lets grab some Chinese for food and head home. *click* *click.* *clickclickclickclickclick* Oh yeah, the elevator shit bricks. Ugh, stairs it is then.
*squeak* *CRACK*
Pain. My GOOD friend. Instead of just my feet, now my entire FUCKING body. I have once again tripped over my bad feet and this time in a most excellent fucking spot. The stairwell of my local game store. *sigh* Why did the elevator have to be out for repair. FUCK! ............ Wait. I'm pretty sure my neck twisted at a wicked angle. Normally that means no pain. DING!
WELCOME!
"Oh. Well, that's interesting. Floaty box, cool, normal, nice, awesome, wicked. I guess I am welcomed."
YES! YOU ARE! HELLO! PLEASE INPUT A NAME AND WE WILL TWIST MEMORY TO ENSURE THAT YOUR NEW NAME IS ACCEPTED!
"Uh, hmmmmm. Phoenix. Phoenix's are cool. Well, so are dragons but they're kinda over rated. They show up in every fantasy story ever, phoenix's need more love. Also they're immortal birds, what's not cool about that? Should I go for a family name too? That's what my last name is technically called right? Hmmmmmm nah, fuck my family. They never did anything for me. Just Phoenix is fine."
PHOENIX? GREAT! GREETINGS PHOENIX! WELCOME TO YOUR NEW LIFE! YOU DIED! SUCKS MAN! BUT WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE TO FIX OUR PROBLEMS! YAY! EXCITING!
"Your problems? And how exactly is that exciting for ME? And WHY WOULD I?!"
BECAUSE YOU GET TO LIVE A NEW LIFE! ON A NEW WORLD! WITH MAGIC AND STUFF! THAT'S COOL RIGHT? IT IS! AWESOME! THANKS FOR AGREEING! SOME ASSHOLES AS YOU WOULD PUT IT ARE MESSING WITH THE WORLD! WE NEED YOU TO FIX STUFF! DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF MATE! QUESTS! REWARDS! MAGIC! SKILLS! IT'LL BE FUN! HUSBANDO'S AND WAIFU'S OR WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT AWAIT TOO IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT! FANTASY RACES APLENTY! WE APPOINT YOU OUR APOSTLE! YAY! DON'T WORRY IT'S A HIDDEN TITLE! WELP THAT'S ALL FROM US! WE USED THE LAST OF OUR POWER TO REINCARNATE YOU! SAY STATUS TO SEE YOUR FANCY STUFF! WE GAVE YOU SOME STUFF! ENJOY! DON'T FORGET THE QUEST TAB! ALSO DON'T FORGET TO SACRIFICE SOME STUFF TO US! WE DON'T WANT TO DIE! PEACE! *MIC DROP*
................................................. "Fan-FUCKING-tastic! I didn't even get a choice! FUCKING GODS! I'LL SACRIFICE MY HOT STEAMING SHIT! YOU CAN HAVE ALL OF IT YOU FUCKING CUNTS!" *SIGH* Okay I'm good, I'm fine, I'm still in pain too. I guess I'm still alive.
DING! Soul sync complete. Memory twisting complete. Memory download and upload complete. Awakening body.
Ugh. Shit. On a scale of 1-10, the pain is a 12. Why does it feel like my veins are on fire.
DING! Cleansing body..10%....64%.....97%..Body cleansed.
My eyes slowly flutter open. Looking around the room I see some fancy furniture, nice, sweet digs mate. Also everything seems kinda big? Looking down at myself I appear to be quite chibi. Soooo I'm a kid now? At least I'm not a baby. My extra memories tell me that although it looks nice and fancy in here its kinda not. Its like, low noble fancy. Awesome. So, am I a noble then? My clothes feel nice at least. Oh they're made of silk, HAH, so I'm a literal silky pants. Cool I guess. Before me lay my not so fancy table with some hot tea. White porcelain tea pot with dove carvings and a fancy glazed tea cup on a very plain looking metal tray. Tsk they skimped on the tray, ruins the whole vibe. Hmmm, that's some nice smelling tea. Shame, I prefer coffee. Also this sofa I'm sitting on feels great. It hugs my back so well! Guess I'll get to the meat of the situation. "Status."
NAME: Phoenix Von Xanas
RACE: Human
AGE: 7
TITLES: Apostle of the Gods (Hidden). Lord of Arcana (First magical aptitude not selected). Noble, Ducal House - 7th Son.
LEVEL: G - 2
STATS: STR - 2. DEX - 4. AGI - 2. INT - 20. WIS - 47. CHA - 10. VIT - 2. STA - 2. MANA - 100.
Unspent Stats - 7
HP - 5/20. SP - 10/20. MP - 1000/1000.
CONDITION: Weakened - Healthy - Recovering.
QUESTS (FUN STUFF! YAY!)
SKILLS: N/A
MAGICAL APTITUDE: N/A
MAGIC: N/A
GIFT PACK! (MORE FUN STUFF! YAY! OPEN BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!)
Okay. looks both shit and great at the same time. I'm weakened? I do kinda feel like shit still. Guess I'll open the gift pack.
DING! Standard isekai bundle opened (YAY!) Inventory skill gained. Language All skill gained. Memory, previous and current body (already installed) gained. INFO DUMP (awaiting selection) gained. Ducal family information (awaiting selection) gained. Knowledge of current body death information (awaiting selection) gained. Appraisal Level 10 gained. As a former adult you have some amount of intelligence and wisdom, these values have been added to your stats.
Some amount? I take offense at that! Inventory, Appraisal and Languages? Nice, I'd hate to start learning a new language, I sucked at that in school. Oh shit, I'm a kid again, FUCK! I'll have to go to school when I get older. No. Wait. Apparently I'm useless? Why? the memory is kinda fuzzy. "Open Ducal family information."
DING! Ducal family members:
Head - Tanix Von Xanas aged 88. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Fire, Lava, Psychic. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you unless necessary.) (A MAN AMONG MEN!!!!!)
1st Wife - Carla Von Kallton aged 88. Magical Aptitude; Light, Fire. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.) (OUCH!)
2nd Wife - Varla Von Kallton aged 88. Magical Aptitude; Light, Water. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.) (DOUBLE OUCH)
3rd Wife - Eliza Van Torrin aged 85. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Fire, Metal. (Is neutral towards you, born as royalty still considers you at least useful as base manpower. Thinks you're cute.) (HOW NICE!)
4th Wife - Sally Flsher aged 64. Magical Aptitude; Water. (Dislikes you as you have no current value, most likely no future value either.) (OOF! MERCHANTS ARE MEAN! BEWARE!)
5th Wife - Kris Von Wulvin aged 72. Magical Aptitude; Shadow, Darkness. (Loves you but does not show it. Hopes this will make your life slightly easier.) (A MOTHERS LOVE IS ALWAYS HARD!)
1st Son - Tanix Von Xanas aged 40, Mother - Carla. Magical Aptitude; Fire, Lava, Psychic. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.)
2nd Son - Tarnix Von Xanas aged 40, Mother Varla. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Water, Psychic. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.)
3rd Son - Philis Von Xanas aged 38, Mother Sally. Magical Aptitude; Water, Fire. (Dislikes you and considers you a shame to the family. Does not interact with you.)
4th Son - Torin Von Xanas aged 32, Mother Sally. Magical Aptitude; Water, Ice. (Dislikes you and considers you a shame to the family. Does not interact with you.)
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
5th Son - Darren Von Xanas aged 31, Mother Sally. Magical Aptitude; Water, Psychic. (Hates you for no apparent reason. Does not interact with you.) (WHAT A NICE GUY!)
6th Son - Elliot Von Xanas aged 26, Mother Sally. Magical Aptitude; Water, Earth. (Dislikes you and considers you a shame to the family. Does not interact with you.)
7th Son - Phoenix Von Xanas aged 7, Mother Kris. Magical Aptitude; N/A (THIS IS YOU! DUH!)
1st Daughter - Carla Von Xanas aged 52, Mother Carla. Magical Aptitude; Light, Fire, Lava, Psychic. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.)
2nd Daughter - Varla Von Xanas aged 52, Mother Varla. Magical Aptitude; Light, Water, Ice, Psychic. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.)
3rd Daughter - Karlina Von Xanas aged 50, Mother Carla. Magical Aptitude; Light, Holy. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.)
4th Daughter - Tanya Von Xanas aged 49, Mother Varla. Magical Aptitude; Water, Earth, Metal. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.)
5th Daughter - Tara Von Xanas aged 49, Mother Eliza. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Fire, Metal, Lava. (Thinks you're cute. Does not interact with you.) (BUT ARE YOU REALLY CUTE??)
6th Daughter - Zarra Von Xanas aged 47, Mother Eliza. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Metal. (Thinks you're cute. Does not interact with you.) (HHHMMMMMMM IT'S ONLY 10 CHARISMA!)
7th Daughter - Lilly Von Xanas aged 45, Mother Eliza. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Metal, Psychic. (Considers you useless. Does not interact with you. Pretends you don't exist.)
8th Daughter - Rose Von Xanas aged 41, Mother Eliza. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Fire. (Thinks you're cute. Does not interact with you.) (HHHHHHHMMMMMMM I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CUTE!)
9th Daughter - Janet Von Xanas aged 22, Mother Sally. Magical Aptitude; Earth, Water, Wood. (Dislikes you as you have no current value, most likely no future value either.) (UGH MERCHANTS!)
10th Daughter - Monnet Von Xanas aged 12, Mother Eliza. Magical Aptitude; Fire, Lava. (Thinks you're cute. Does not interact with you.) (I WOULD KNOW! I'M THE GODDESS OF BEAUTY!)
...........MATE. Father. You dog. Have you considered renaming yourself Zeus? Holy Shit man. That's a LOT of kids. I guess this world doesn't have entertainment? And damn is the old man, well, an old man. Does magic increase life? I hope so. Also, isn't my family nice. Straight ignoring me half the time and just pretending I don't exist the other half of the time. Wow. So those comments are from the Goddess of Beauty? I guess shes free and, uh, has personality? Its kinda annoying though. Don't you have beauty stuff to do?
RUDE! AND NO, I'M SUPER FREE! EVERYONE ELSE IS SLEEPING! YAY! I'M SUPER DUPER FREE BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO DO! YAY!
The Von Xanas family guard the Serpent's Path of the Medusa Mountains in Fort Tanix. It is Tradition to name the 1st born son after the fort as a remembrance of the family's duty. They bar the only way of the Harthon Empire into the Torrin Kingdom. They started as Knight's 1200 years ago, slowly rising in rank and finally ascending to Ducal status 240 years ago. Starting 150 years ago the other Ducal family's have attempted to remove them from their Ducal status with little success.
The Von Xanas family is well known for their Psychic magic and high magical aptitude in general. Those whom possess Psychic magic are part of the main house with other's being considered branch family members. The family is known to be full of womanizers more so than other noble houses.
At 5 years old, every Von Xanas child is brought before the Head of the House to undergo an appraisal ceremony. They first touch an Aptitude Sphere which publicly displays your magical aptitudes. Then they touch a Status Orb which publicly displays your status. Considering you possess the Lord of Arcana Title, you have yet to choose your magical aptitude. Thus you came up as having none. Had your father not thrown you out before allowing you to use the Status Orb you would probably, maybe, perhaps not be considered useless.
Well Shit. Psychic Magic is the main stay and with high magical aptitude in general. Which I have none apparently. Also I totally missed that last part. Totally. Womanizers? Really? Noooo. Absolutely did not see that coming. What makes you think and say that? *sigh* Okay lets go with the Info Dump next.
DING! INFO DUMP chosen. Select information; (Stats, Levels, Ranks and Skills) (Titles and Magic)
(Stats, Levels, Ranks and Skills) chosen.
Stats
Strength - STR. For every point in STR you are capable of lifting 2.5 Kilograms of weight. Increases physical damage by 2 per point for physical attacks and STR based weapons.
Dexterity - DEX. For every point in DEX you increase craftsmanship and thievery success by a hyperbolic 1%. You also get a hyperbolic thievery protection of 1% per point in DEX. Increases physical damage by 2 per point for dex based weapons.
Agility - AGI. For every point in AGI you increase your running, climbing, swimming and flying speed by 1. Running and climbing speed is calculated via: 10% of SP, then add AGI. Swimming and flying speed is calculated via: 5% of SP, then add AGI. Flying requires the flight skill.
Intelligence - INT. For every point in INT makes you smarter, (DUH!), think faster and gives you a better memory to remember information. Increase magical damage by 7 per point in INT. Every 5 points in INT adds a hyperbolic 1% increase to alchemy and rune quality.
(7 IS THE FANCY MAGICICAL NUMBER FOR OUR WORLD! YAY! BEWARE THE NUMBER 7! AND THEIR MULTIPLES! ESPECIALLY 42!)
Wisdom - WIS. For every point in WIS you gain a higher comprehension of magic circles and runes. It also aids you in making the wisest, smartest or most optimal choice or decision. Every 5 points in WIS adds a hyperbolic 1% increase to successful alchemy and rune related actions.
Charisma - CHA. Every point in CHA makes you vastly more beautiful, cute, handsome and or sexy. It also aids it grabbing attention and hopefully being a better speaker. Some magics get a bonus based on your CHA.
(BY THE WAY, MY CHARISMA IS INFINITE! I'M THE GODDESS OF BEAUTY AFTER ALL!)
HAH, hopefully. Its quite obvious whom it failed on.
Vitality - VIT. For every point in VIT you gain 10 Health Points - HP. Your physical defense is equal to 10% of your HP plus STR. Your magical defense is equal to 10% of your HP plus INT.
Stamina - STA. For every point in STA you gain 10 Stamina Points - SP. Try not to hit zero or you'll pass out!
Mana. Mana is the life blood of the world. You need Mana to cast spells and use most skills. For every point in Mana you get 10 Mana for your Mana Pool - MP. Try your hardest not to hit zero! The closer to zero you are the more you'll feel like someone is using your skull as an anvil to forge a weapon and they keep missing the metal and smashing your skull!
Okay, killer headaches on the horizon in the future. Noted.
Levels and Ranks
Aside from the first 3 ranks, every rank *resets* and counts from 1-100. You are not actually resetting your levels or stats. We just don't want to count huge numbers.
(HAHAHAHA! I'M NOT GOOD AT NUMBERS! NONE OF US ARE!)
Every level increase within the first realm awards 7 free stats.
As a human you have a natural lifespan of 100 years. Of course this does not mean you will live that long. As you rank up you'll gain an increased lifespan.
(H) - Level - 1 This is where every humanoid race is born at. All of your starting stats will be 1. (IT'S H FOR HARMLESS!)
(G) - Levels - 2-10 Most humanoid races reach level 10 simply be living to the age of 15.
(F-) - Levels - 11-100 H,G and F- all share the first 100 levels. Gain 1 year of life span ranking up to F.
(F) - Gain 2 years of life span ranking up to F+. (F+) - Gain 3 years of life span ranking up to E-.
(E-) - Gain 4 years of life span ranking up to E. (E) - Gain 5 years of life span ranking up to E+. (E+) - Gain 6 years of life span ranking up to D-.
(D-) - Gain 7 years of life span ranking up to D+. (D) - Gain 8 years of life span ranking up to D. (D+) - Gain 9 years of life span ranking up to C-.
(C-) - Gain 10 years of life span ranking up to C. (C) - Gain 10 years of life span ranking up to C+. (C+) - Gain 10 years of life span ranking up to CC.
(CC) - Gain 15 years of life span ranking up to B-.
(B-) - Gain 15 years of life span ranking up to B. (B) - Gain 15 years of life span ranking up to B+. (B+) - Gain 15 years of life span ranking up to BB-.
(BB-) - Gain 20 years of life span ranking up to BB. (BB) - Gain 20 years of life span ranking up to BB+. (BB+) - Gain 20 years of life span ranking up to A-.
(A-) - Gain 25 years of life span ranking up to A. (A) - Gain 25 years of life span ranking up to A+. (A+) - Gain 30 years of life span ranking up to AA-.
(AA-) - Gain 35 years of life span ranking up to AA. (AA) - Gain 40 years of life span ranking up to AA+. (AA+) - Gain 45 years of life span ranking up to AAA.
(AAA) - Gain 50 years of life span ranking up to S-.
(S-) - Gain 55 years of life span ranking up to S. (S) - Gain 60 years of life span ranking up to S+. (S+) - Gain 65 years of life span ranking up to SS-.
(SS-) - Gain 70 years of life span ranking up to SS. (SS) - Gain 75 years of life span ranking up to SS+. (SS+) - Gain 80 years of life span ranking up to SSS-.
(SSS-) - Gain 100 years of life span ranking up to SSS. (SSS) - Gain 100 years of life span ranking up to SSS+. (SSS+) - Gain 200 years of life span ranking up to SSSS.
(SSSS) - Gain 500 years of life span ranking up to EPIC.
Wow. Hmmmm doing some quick math, uhhhhhh thats.......1350 years of lifespan just by getting to SSSS. In-FUCKING-sane. Man thats magic as hell. Well if you include my natrual 100 that is. EPIC? That sounds, well epic. Where's the rest?
DING! Information about the 2nd realm is currently *ERROR*
Cool, you be like that. Wonder if it's because of those assholes that goddess mentioned.
Skills
Most skills start at Level 1 and finish at 100. Certain skills, along with all magic skills, are capable of trancendance or limit breaking. Limit breaking a skill brings passive bonuses and increase the Level cap for that skill to 1000.
In general skills are grouped as such. The first title is for non magic skills. The second title is for magic skills.
(1-10 Beginner/Adept) (11-20 Novcie/Apprentice) (21-30 Intermediate/Mage) (31-40 Skilled/High Mage) - people at this skill level and above are capable of teaching said skill in a competant manner.
(41-50 Veteran/Magus) (51-60 Master/Sage) (61-70 Grandmaster/Great Sage) Everyone above this level is called by a single title in their skill.
(71-80 King - Queen) (81-90 Emperor - Empress) (91-100 Lord) Trancendance titles are *bbbzzzztttt* *ERROR*
Well. Thats nice, more Errors. Lets start on the Magic shall well.
DING! Titles and Magic selected.