Am I dead?

Edgar regained consciousness in blackness. Figuring he was trapped under the bus, he tried to move, but couldn’t. His arms and legs wouldn’t respond. He couldn’t even grip his hands.

That can’t be good. At least it doesn’t hurt?

He couldn’t feel anything or move at all. If he was trapped in the bus, he imagined there would be excruciating pain. Maybe they pulled him out and got him to the hospital? If he was drugged up on painkillers that would explain the odd floaty sensation.

But even that didn’t seem quite right. He recently had his tonsils out, and the doctor had put him on some serious pain meds. He had babbled to his brother about the new MMORPG he was playing and his brother had showed him videos of it afterwards. It was not pretty.

This was nothing like that. Instead of feeling foggy, his thoughts were clear. In fact, he couldn’t remember his mind ever feeling this clear. It was like somebody had gone in and cleaned out a whole bunch of muck in his brain. He felt light and nimble.

Maybe too light. Was he even breathing? He felt a stirring of panic as he wondered if he was trapped in a coma or something. He had always imagined a coma as a sort of long dream, not a prison of blackness.

Am I going to be trapped here forever?

But as clear and nimble as his thoughts seemed, his emotions were the opposite. They felt oddly suppressed.

Huh…

His thoughts drifted back to the accident and he remembered Poppy. He remembered the fear in her eyes as she reached for him.

Poppy? Poppy!? Are you here?

He managed to corral his muddy emotions to a meager level of concern for her, fighting against the strange emotional mud. He knew he should be angry. She had agreed to take him to a special place in his neighborhood, after all. It didn’t really count as a date—they were only friends, of course—but hanging out with her was different. It was good. He felt whole. But now, he just hoped she was in better shape than he was, stuck in this purgatory.

Suddenly, he heard a few beats of a hand drum and the shake of a metal rattle, and Edgar found himself on a stone platform. At the far edge of the platform stood a man with the head of a jackel and a woman with the head of a cat, one holding a hand drum and the other a rattle. He blinked in surprise, finding that he recognized them as Anubis and Bastet from his classes on Ancient Egypt.

In the center of the platform stood a child wearing a gold and blue striped Pharaoh’s mask and simple white clothes. Behind and around the stone platform, he could see twinkling stars and the swirl of a galaxy.

“I owe you an apology, young one,” Pharaoh said, although Edgar had the distinct impression that words were not being spoken out loud and this was all a sort of telepathy.

Their voice was young, but carried an uncanny gravity. “I forget how fragile the worlds without magic are. It’s amazing that anything grows there at all. Even just glancing at it for a moment causes it to tremble.”

Edgar paused, remembering the boom he had heard just before the bus fell, “that was you?”

“I’m afraid so. Even worse, your survival was nearly certain before I peeked.”

He felt a budding anger rise again, but considering the pure strangeness of the scene in front of him, his muddy emotions, and the majesty of the universe unfolding all around him, it quickly dissipated. Like water in his hands. He sighed.

“So… I’m dead then?” Edgar spun in a circle, taking in the beautiful scene. “Is Poppy dead too?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

Edgar turned back to the Pharaoh child. He realized they weren’t actually standing, so much as hovering an inch off the stone floor. Behind Pharaoh, the beings that looked like Anubis and Bastet stood perfectly still. It reminded him of the famous soldiers in London, the ones with the tall hats he’d seen online.

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“What do you mean?” Edgar asked.

“Well, she didn’t technically die. One of my siblings pulled her out before the bus hit the ground and brought her to our world. I was distracted by the rude gesture—I think it was Z*&$, trying to make sure that I knew that they noticed my mistake… childish!—and in my aggravation, I wasn’t quite as fast as I could have been in saving you.

”So, you died. Fully and completely. Your body is gone and only your soul remains. On the bright side, your friend’s body is probably intact.”

Edgar pondered that for a moment. Clearly, Pharaoh was a god, some sort of all-powerful entity, but they weren’t behaving in any of the ways Edgar would have expected. There was an apologetic tone in their voice. He sensed some disdain towards his home world for “not having magic” but there was something oddly human in the child’s voice.

He smiled, “You know, as someone who watches a lot of Ancient Aliens—especially the Egypt episodes—I just have to say that this really explains a lot. Nice job on the pyramids.”

The child cocked its head to the side. Edgar couldn’t see its face, but he would have given anything to know what expression the all-powerful Pharaoh made in that moment.

“Unfortunately, Edgar, the only knowledge of your world I have is what you have brought via your memories, since—as you now know—merely observing it is enough to cause a catastrophe.”

“Well, you know my name, at least. What should I call you?”

“You may call me Pharaoh.”

Edgar sighed, trying to look down at his hands and body, but there was nothing to see. At the edges of his vision, he could see wisps of a blue and white haze.

“So I’m really just a soul now? It doesn’t seem like you’re shipping me off to the Underworld or whatever just yet.”

“Certain rules prevent me from sending you back to your old world, but I could reincarnate you in one of my own worlds. To be honest, I need all the help I can get and, based on some of your memories, I think you’d do well there. We could make you a new body and—since we’re starting from scratch anyway—I might as well make it… special.”

“What do you mean, special?”

“You’ll have to see. What’s the fun in having all the answers up front?”

Edgar could swear Pharaoh was snickering behind their mask. Now he was getting some god vibes. They were toying with him, dangling the carrot of resurrection in front of the mortal.

“What do you want from me in return?”

“Your help expanding the Network, in whatever fashion pleases you.”

“Expand the… what? What’s the Network?”

Pharaoh didn’t offer an answer and Edgar took that as a cue that one wasn’t coming. He sighed, knowing in his heart that he wanted to live. There were so many things he hadn’t done or tried yet. He wasn’t exactly the bucket list sort of person, but—if he were to make a list—he imagined ditching his pesky virginity would be at the top.

But on the other hand, he was making a deal with an all powerful being. Ideally, he’d be a little more confident he wasn’t making a deal with the devil, as the saying goes.

“How can I trust you? This seems too good to be true.”

“Sigh… The non-magical worlds are truly a tragedy. I’ll have to speak with the others. I never would have imagined they would produce beings so… small.”

Edgar knew the things Pharaoh was saying were objectively insulting to him, and his whole planet, but who was he to defend his non-magical world. His muted emotions prevented him from feeling terribly insulted anyway. Besides, the prospect of being reincarnated into a magical world was more than a little exciting.

“Who are they?” Edgar gestured at the other two.

Suddenly, Anubis beat their hand drum twice.

“I’m afraid our time together has come to an end, Edgar. It’s time to hear your answer.”

As much as Edgar wanted to press his many, many questions, he knew there was only so far that one should push a god. The pursuit of truth would have to take a back seat to pragmatism and a basic desire to not die.

“Ok, I’ll do it. I’ll help you with the Network.”

“Great. With any luck, you’ll find your friend too, although the Network is a big place.”

With that, Pharaoh raised a hand and Anubis took that as their cue to beat a quick rhythm on their drum, which was punctuated by a shake of Bastet’s rattle. As the rattle shook, Edgar felt a squeezing pressure as an unseen force yanked him across the universe at light speed.

The last thing he heard was Pharaoh saying, “Be well, Edgar.”

Then he blacked out again.

~~~~~~~~~~

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