The first thing that comes to mind about being dead is that Gazei expected many things. Heaven, Hell, reincarnation—even a zombie apocalypse could have been plausible. All he got was nothing but blackness. He wonders how he can be getting concussions right now. You would think being dead would be enough to make him stop thinking.
If this was the afterlife... He was disappointed. Again, expectations of hellfire and brimstone or the pearly gates with flocks of naked women (and some men) and all the beer he could drink. But nope, all he sees are empty spaces of black.
"Gazei! I'm bored!"
At least one of his best friends is here with him. "Ren... I mean, Rin, you have been complaining like that since we got here... Shut. The. Fuck. Up!"
She looked at him, her eyes glowing red. "But I'm bored! We're dead. You said whenever I'm bored, you would entertain me. So, hurry up and make me feel pleasure!" she purred playfully.
He sighed. "Why do you have to word it like that?"
His best friend Ren, now Rin, is a flamboyant transgender boy to a girl. She acts very effeminate and loves fashion. At fourteen, Rin asked, well, forced Gazei into helping her dress like a girl. At first, he said no, but after some convincing (he was bribed), he agreed to help out. It was the most horrible and sexually questioning day of his life. He was paid monthly by her grandfather, who took everything in stride for an old Japanese fart to stay by her side, which wasn't even an option to begin with.
Confusing or not, Rin is an annoying, crazy Japanese woman, but he likes crazy, and she was a friend first, so it was easy. He stayed for life.
Which was the dumbest thing Gazei had done in his life. He took the money, and every single day, Rin stopped holding back. It turns out she can act like a spoiled princess who knows she is hot. The amount of teasing, going to the mall, and learning boy bands' names was the epitome of oppression. Have you ever seen Ash from Pokémon, and he was all: "Pikachu do that. Pikachu, do this! Pikachu! Pikachu!"
That was every day of his life, and he felt he had gained a wife that day—a wife who liked to extort male owners or just straight-up buy the business and fire everyone like she was channeling Vince McMahon.
It was the hottest thing he had ever seen, and it never failed to get him going, but he would take that to his grave. Fate took that bet and made it happen.
Years, months, weeks, days, and hours later, Ren, now renamed Rin, wore Gothic, Victorian, and Valley girl outfits that involved mini-skirts, tight clothing that looked painted on, and very expensive sets of 74B cups.
Korea is a scary place.
Ren always looked like a girl before the change, but this was overkill. She was one of the popular kids in school and caused a lot of guys confusion about their sexual orientation.
The man had light skin and a beauty mark under his right eye. Thick eyebrows, a girlish face, and bright blue eyes. His short brown hair was usually in a ponytail. His eyelashes were thick and long, and he kept his body smooth and toned. He often wore eyeshadow and loved to wear a choker.
"Gazei...!" Rin's voice said like she was pouting. "Are you paying attention to me?"
He grumbled. "Uh-uh."
Ren gave him a look. "Then what do you think about the last dress I wore?"
"Didn't pay attention," he replied uncaringly.
"Gazei!" she shouted.
[Congratulations, you two!]
An out-of-place blue window flickered out of existence, scaring the crap out of Ren and Gazei.
"Yo, what the fuck is that thing?"
[You two weren't supposed to die today. However, shit happens. Then again, considering the stunt you two pulled, we upstairs say it's quite an achievement. Gazei, congrats on banging your classmate, your best friend, their mother, and their older sister non-stop. It is quite a feat. As a result, your body couldn't keep up and suffered a heart attack. In a twist, so did Rin's; you both ended up here. So young too...]
Gazei was silent at that news. He remembered now; he had just finished college with his classmates and Rin. The student president invited him to a drink with Rin along. They got drunk and got frisky. She was a bit older than them but still not yet thirty. After a few drinks, she was ready. Gazei remembered kissing her, feeling her boobs, and then her sister joined in with their mother.
Also, Rin’s soft...
“FUCK!”
"EEE!" Rin squealed loudly, interrupting Gazei's thoughts.
Gazei hoped that Rin wouldn't get too mad at—
"I sleep with Gazei!! YAY!" Ren cooed and bounced around excitedly.
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
"...I beg your pardon!?" Gazei asked incredulously.
"Don't be upset," Rin said as though reading his mind. "I always wanted to do it with you... Yay!"
"Don’t fuckin' YAY me! Since when did you want to have sex with me?!" Gazei shouted.
Rin blushed and stuck out her tongue. "I love you."
“I’m going to be pissed if I find that it was obvious to everyone but me.”
[Well, to the God of your world, it was more obvious than Pokémon fanfic writers who always swore their stories don’t involve loving Pokémon more than humans, edgy, or scum getting a harem. It was quite clear to everyone she wanted you. To fix this mistake, the R.O.B. upstairs, your old God, and the Heaven’s entertainment department have given authority to reincarnate Gazei and Rin to another universe of my choosing. I chose Kaiju. You’re welcome.]
With those words, the blue window blinked away, leaving Gazei and Ren in a pitch-black space.
What the fuck...?
Then another one popped out....
"Ok, what the..."
Gazei, King of Plant X
* Race: Kaiju
* Titles: Sovereign of Magma, Metalbender, The Tremor Titan, The Alpha Monarch, Black Plague of Death, Warrior King, The Dragon of Destruction, Creature X-1, Aspect of Death, The Worldbreaker, The Black Scourge, Black Aspect, King of the Monsters
* Level: 1
* Bloodline: Primeval Volcanic
* State: Larva Period (Can Evolve)
* Height: 400 feet
* Weight: 90,000 tons
* Category: Category V Alpha
* Reputation: 100 (King)
Core Stats:
* Attack: 500
* Defense: 600
* Agility: 400
* Radiation: 100
* Evolution Points: 1,000
* Mutation: None
Traits:
* Giant Dragon Physiology, Superior Dragon Physiology, Draconic Element Manipulation, Archetype: Elemental Dragon, Elemental Absorption, Elemental Aura, Elemental Constructs, Elemental Generation, Bio-Atomic Manipulation, Nuclear Aura, Nuclear Empowerment, Nuclear Mimicry, Nucleokinetic, Bio-Fission Manipulation, Bio-Fusion Manipulation, Bio-Nuclear Manipulation, Cold Fusion Manipulation, Nuclear Breath, Quantum Manipulation, Cellular Regeneration, Energy Symbiosis, Nuclear Core, Elemental Affinity: Metal, Elemental Affinity: Earth, Elemental Affinity: Gas, Elemental Affinity: Poison, Elemental Affinity: Fire, Elemental Affinity: Glass, Elemental Affinity: Sound, Magnetic Field, Volcanic Regeneration, Geokinetic Navigation, Heavyweight Anchor
Atmospheric Adaptation, Gravitational Equilibrium, Alloy Assimilation, Metallurgical Camouflage, Tremor Sense, Overheat Prevention, All Vision, Metamorphic Recovery...
Attack:
* Dife: Lv 1
* Mòde: Lv 1
* Son: Lv 1
* Pwazon: Lv 1
* Latè: Lv 1
* Metallicum: Lv 1
* Vitrum: Lv 1
* Darkyus: Lv 1
"Why are the last three in Latin? Why are the rest in Haitian Creole? I mean, I get it; I used to be Haitian myself, but I barely took Latin classes."
Gazei was puzzled by his attacks, and by attacks, he meant there were no attacks, just the names. Fire, Bite, Sound, Poison, Earth, Metal, Glass, and Darkness?
“Gen'ei no Maboroshi.”
A mist of text appeared before his very eyes and startled the dragon king.
RIN'S (HUBBY, WE NEED A LAST NAME) PROFILE! LOVE IT AND LOVE ME MORE!
* Name: Rin
* Race: Sexy Kaiju
* Title: Empress of the Skies, Spectrum Weaver, The Aerial Enchantress, Guardian of the Tempest, Cryo-Electric Seraph, Mistress of the Northern Gale, The Psyche Siren, Hydra's Kin, Lioness Dragon, Ascpet of Life, Dragon of Life, Demoness, Baroness of the Skies, Dragon Queen, Queen of the Monsters.
* Level: 1
* Bloodline: Ethereal Tempest
* State: Larva Period (Can Evolve)
* Height: 200 feet (with wingspan included)
* Weight: 30,000 tons
* Category: Category IV Alpha
CORE STATS:
* Attack: 200
* Defense: 300
* Agility: 600
* Radiation: 100
* Evolution Points: 1,000
* Mutation: None
Traits:
* Giant Dragon Physiology, Superior Dragon Physiology, Draconic Element Manipulation, Archetype: Elemental Dragon, Elemental Absorption, Elemental Aura, Elemental Constructs, Elemental Generation, Bio-Atomic Manipulation, Nuclear Aura, Nuclear Empowerment, Nuclear Mimicry, Nucleokinetic, Bio-Fission Manipulation, Bio-Fusion Manipulation, Bio-Nuclear Manipulation, Cold Fusion Manipulation, Nuclear Breath, Quantum Manipulation, Cellular Regeneration, Energy Symbiosis, Nuclear Core, Elemental Affinity: Air, Elemental Affinity: Water, Elemental Affinity: Ice, Elemental Affinity: Light, Elemental Affinity: Psychic, Bioluminescence Generation, Electrogeneration, Aerodynamic, Psychic Sonar, Reactive Hydrolysis, Adaptive Chromatophores, Extended Spectrum Vision, Fast-Twitch Muscle Response, Ionic Atmosphere Control, Quantum Coherence, Thermoelectric Conversion, Antifreeze Proteins, EMP Shielding, Hypersonic Communication
Aquatic Maneuverability...
電撃 (Dengeki): Lv 1 – Electricity, 水撃 (Suigeki): Lv 1 – Water, 氷撃 (Hyōgeki): Lv 1 – Ice, 光撃 (Kōgeki): Lv 1 – Light, 物理 (Butsuri): Lv 1 – Physics, 幻影 (Gen'ei): Lv 1 – Illusion.
“Rin, did you really have to do that?” he asked exasperatedly, already feeling like Red from that 70s show. It was only married for 1,000 years, and just like that, he instantly knew time dilation for the Kaiju species. Given his X is massive with a strong gravitational field, time would naturally flow slightly slower on its surface compared to less massive bodies, such as Earth. This effect, known as gravitational time dilation, occurs because gravity can curve spacetime, causing time to pass slower near a massive object.
In short, this means that one day on Planet X would last as long as 365,250 Earth days. Wow, that lasted a day. Well, at least it was better than his father. That man lasted four eyes, according to Mom's stories.
A tail grabbed the king by him by the neck. “Husband. Your wife is hungry. It's either feed me or find out how good sex is in the dragon form!”
At least she stopped talking like dead white people. Now, only if he can get Rin to stop acting like his moms. His pelvis can't handle that much love.