"Escape? Never the matter, it is obvious you possess the spark I am looking for to join the guild. I will provide a room for you, but it will only be for the first week of your stay. After that, you shall be fully expected to pay your own way, either with a place of residence outside the guild or inside, through understand that fees are sharp inside."

"That's all fine and dandy, gramps. I don't see it being too much of a struggle."

After all, I'm the main character. Or at least I assume so. What if there is other characters, and I'm just one of them?

That'd probably mean I'm now the antagonist, considering my goals. Will the Author-God send people to hunt me down?

Hmm. It might actually be a struggle now. Damn.

"See Velsa on the way out." he said. "She's the one who brought you up here. She'll handle that side of it. Meanwhile, I'll have the Guild's Tutor come to you and teach you things you'll need to know."

"Sounds good." I said, getting off the floor and going for the door. I met with Reception Lady #2, also known as Velsa, after walking down the same corridors I had walked up to get the Guild Master.

"Hey, the Guild Master said to speak to you. I passed his trial or test or something."

She raised an eyebrow.

"You don't sound very excited." she said in a slightly chiding tone. "Waving the entry fee is a pretty big honour."

"It's purely a business strategy - the old man wants to grow this branch of the guild by attractive strong members. I don't owe him anything."

"You, sir, are an ass."

"I'm all cuddly when you get to know me."

She gave me a glance of mock astonishment, then gestured for me to follow.

"I'm guessing the Master has gone to kick the lazy Guild Tutor into giving you at least a lesson." she said, walking back the way I just came, but then turning right instead of going straight on. "All the boarding rooms are over to the right, simple as pie, and one of them will be yours. Probably one of the ground floor rooms, since the higher you go the better they get."

She smiled. "Though, if you're lucky, you might get a second floor room. Which are pretty good."

"If it has a bed and a door, that's all I require for now." I said. Comfort could come later.

"What's the political situation of this country right now?"

"You ask the strangest questions. Were you born yesterday?"

"If I said yes, you still wouldn't believe me."

She turned to look at me. "No, I wouldn't. But you are strange. Where did you come from?"

"Does Hell exist in this world?"

"What? What is Hell?"

"I'm from Hell. The name's Asmodeus."

Of course, I'm not from hell in actual fact.

"I think you already know mine, but I'm Velsa. You've even got a strange name…"

She stopped in front of a room. "This is your ro-" she began, but she was cut off by the slam of the door in her face as I entered.

I heard her whisper something, but then she walked off.

I would not allow Author-God a sympathetic character, even if that meant being horrible to staff. Not something I would have done in real life, but then again, these people only exist to support the story. Not like I'm actually hurting someone.

Now, I wait, I suppose. She never did answer my question about the political climate. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some type of evil empire about to invade or some other bullshit.

I laid down on the bed, which was actually comfortable. Strange, I had expected a bed of straw. What technology level was this place?

I haven't seen knights, but there was three large buildings in the centre of the city, and I saw a few swords and such. My initial guess was most probably right. Generic western fantasy setting.

The whole adventurer's guild didn't help that.

Wow, I was planning on waiting but honestly I'm bored as fuck. But I know if I leave this room, stupid protagonist shenanigans will result… and I don't know if I'm mentally ready for that.

It'd probably be a good idea to exercise… but I can't be bothered.

Oh hey, I always wanted Telekinesis. Do I have the force?

I put my hand out, pointing it towards the chair on the other side of the room. I concentrated, but there was nothing. Unfortunate, but not entirely unexpected.

I'm gonna have to go out, aren't I?

I hoisted myself off the bed, falling to both the whims of boredom and the need to progress the plot. I went out the door, and began to wander. I saw that the common room/tavern part was to the left of the reception, so I headed there.

A great idea popped into my head. I bet they have a bounty board or jobs board here. That'd be great for exposition, and it'd tell me what kind of creatures live in this world.

I reached the common room, only to find that I was actually on the floor above it. Something smelled great. I looked over the tables, seeing food… everywhere. Everyone was eating. Was this a restaurant or something?

Or is a proper eating time something cultural?

Because when I say they were all eating, they were ALL eating. Not a single person in the hall was not chomping down on food. I honestly felt kind of left out, or at least my stomach did.

I tried to locate where the food was coming from, but with no such luck.

"The reason we are a upfront-fee guild is because of things like this." a voice said from behind, startling me. I spun, seeing the first reception girl eating a sandwich.

"What, food?"

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

She sighed. "Velsa painted an image of you I now see is entirely correct."

She walked over to the railing.

"We have a rota. If you're on that rota for the week, you hunt for the guild, and you take expense out of the communal fund for the work. The more is in the fund, the better the quantity and quality of the food. Hunting in this case doesn't necessarily mean going out and slaying dargots, it can mean fishing or trapping small game."

"That sounds incredibly stupid. Surely the stronger members ignore the rota, and don't bother with the fund because they could eat elsewhere."

"This is true, but only for the ones that don't want to be Master of the guild. Everyone votes for the leader, it isn't designated by random chance or even the old master's say-so. The way to become Guild Master in this guild is to make sure the people under you are taken care of. There are similar rituals in other guilds elsewhere."

"This is becoming an infodump, but I'd like to know, how the hell did a system like this come about?"

"This land was once ruled by a King chosen by the Guiding Pantheon. He was once evil, but the gods put so much benevolence through him that it broke his mind, and it became that he could only do good."

"Once ruled?"

"Well, the Guides may have gone too far. The King no longer had a shred of negativity in him, so the kingdom fell to the merchants, underlords and other exploiters. My mother and father were actually pretty relieved when the nearby Emperor just walked in and took the kingdom. They cracked down on that kind of stuff pretty quickly."

"You know I never actually got your name?" I said.

"Crysi" she said, smiling. "I don't think I got yours either."

"Asmodeus."

"Huh. That is an odd name. I thought Velsa was pulling my leg when she told me it."

She finished her sandwich as we stood in silence.

"Hmm." she said with the last mouthfuls of bread in her mouth. "I totally forgot, I came to ask if you wanted food."

"How did you find me?"

"When you walk in the guild, it automatically tags your soul. We know where everyone is."

"Fun. Dystopian soul tracking technology, but no guns."

She decided not to address that.

"So, food?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Go downstairs and be seated, the magic array will tell the cooks you want food. Tonight's dish is Ghasivilaki - roasted small game in vegetable soup."

Stew. Of course it was stew.

Minutes later, I sat down at the table. I looked around, seeing multiple people with full, head-to-toe metal plate on. Others were wearing strange metal-scaled armour which I was sure was not practical.

"Hey, new blood!"

New blood? What the fuck is that? Could you not come up with something better than 'New blood' for them to say?

I moved my head slowly in their direction.

"Look at him, equipment-less like a babe! Doesn't even have a sword to his name!"

Another one chimed in.

"How did he even get the entrance fee together, or did the Master just pity the poor fool."

Always got to have the stupid idiots that laugh at the protagonist to make the reader sympathetic, eh?

I continued to stare at them.

"Aw, he's looking at us! Think he's interested in one of us?"

They moved into uproarious laughter, and at such a pathetic joke too.

I continued to stare.

One of them stared back at me, then looked at his comrades and laughed.

I continued.

"What the hell are you looking at?"

"Your faces. I am remembering them in intricate detail, so that when the time comes that I have the ability to do so as I wish, I remember you, you, you, and you." I said, point at each of them in turn. "You had best hope I don't remember you, because if I do, I will slaughter each and every one of you in merciless cold blood, and I will laugh whilst doing so. Are we clear?"

I would follow through on that threat. They were little more than cowards, and I saw no downside in wiping them of the face of the planet. Assuming this world is on a planet.

They turned back to their meal, covering their faces from me sub-consciously. I guess acting like a psychopath does really work.

My food arrived, and to hone the point I continued to stare at them whilst I ate. The food was decent, obviously not up to the modern standard of cooking, but perfectly edible. The meat was unlike anything I had otherwise tasted, and it was tender to boot.

In general, I was impressed by the meal.

A shout came across the hall, and I recognised the voice.

"Gelt, Marad, Kelst, Haneteku, come up here. I have a mission for you." said the Guild Master. Four figures rose, two of equal size, about my own height (Which seems to be about 180ish CM in this life.) Another was a size smaller, but the last was heads and shoulders above the other two.

The Guild Master searched the crowd, and pointed me out as well, gesturing for me to come up. I was more or less finished with the food anyway.

I went back up the stairs to the second floor, passing Velsa and Crysi on the way up. The guild master gestured me into a room, where I took a seat opposite the four.

He entered once more, closing the door.

"I can't find that useless tutor anywhere." he said, addressing me. "So instead I'm assigning you to a low-level, but established team."

"So we're to take him to the Rusted Ruins with us?"

"Yes, and explain to him how magic works." he said, then looked at their faces. "No, that isn't a joke, Asmodeus apparently comes from a place where magic doesn't exist. Just, explain it to him, please, I've got a killer headache coming on."

"Seriously?" said one of the two that were my height. He placed an arm on the table and leaned over. "You come from somewhere non-magical?"

"I do. At least, that would be the easiest way to explain it. Consider me on the level of a baby when teaching me about magic."

"Huh. I've never met someone that doesn't know about either Adornments or Reputation."

Wow, could you have gotten a more obvious exposition line?

"No, what are they." I said, completely deadpan.

"Adornments are like trophies but for the soul. That's how my teacher explained it. You kill a creature, and you can choose to take a part of them into yourself. This sets the baseline of your abilities."

The more boisterous one stopped leaning off the table, and stood up straight.

"A more practical demonstration would be better. I killed a sipher as my first ever kill, and I took from it a part of its speed. I'm faster than the other two fighters we have." he said, then he jumped to the side. It looked slightly unnatural, just slightly too fast.

"I think I see."

"That isn't everything." he said, then put a hand on the smaller one's shoulder. "This is Kelst, she's shy as hell, but she's a Mage. She takes the Adornments of the creatures she has killed, and she instead harvests their abilities to use. Specifically, she tends to hang back behind us and bestow adornment's she's collected from others onto us. These act as First Adornments, so they're pretty potent."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that once you kill your first creature, every creature you kill after that gets less effective." I said.

"Eh, kinda. If you killed something strong, then you'd get a portion of its strength, or an attribute of it, such as if it had horns, or you can do what Kelst does and carry around an aspect of it that represents the ability you want to grant, such as its heart, which would grant vitality. If you kill another, it's not like you don't get anything, it's just weaker. You could take its strength again, but it won't be as effective as the first time."

"So is every mage just carrying around hearts and stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"From where I come from, that'd be considered weird."

"If it helps, the organs usually shrink over time, without getting weaker. So it's like a bunch of little hearts…" he said, in the most unreassuring tone I think he could have picked.

"Can magic produce effects like, say, throwing a fireball?"

"You'd have to slay some kind of fire-breathing creature, but yes."

"Oh, like a Dragon?"

"Sure, whatever that is?" said the boisterous one.

So, no dragons. That makes the setting at least a little more original.

"Alright, Alright, I think he gets Adornments as much as he can without having his own. It'd probably be easier for me to explain Reputation."

I turned to him.

"This one is short and sweet, fortunately for us all. As you get more and more known, you will get strength as people know of you. How your reputation precedes you affects how this power manifests. If people know you as an excellent wizard, then your ability to do wizardry will improve. If you are known for your unparallel strength, then you will be stronger."

"I imagine the rulers of the world are reaping the benefits of that."

"Yes, it is true. The Emperor, for example, is known to be quite potent with magic, going so far as to have an Adornment from the Bloom." He said, then paused. "I suppose you might not know what that is. The Bloom is the opposite of the Blight, and the realm from which all manner of life is borne. I'm sure you can figure out what the Blight is."

It's hell, isn't it?

I think the info-dump has gone on enough.

"I'm sure I'll know in due time."

He nodded.

"Alright, then to answer your question from earlier, Gelt, yes, Asmodeus is coming on your trip to the Rusty Ruins. I hope that will not be of consequence?"

"If we make one thing clear." he cleared his throat. "We won't be splitting the reward five ways."

He looked at me apologetically.

"Of course." said the Guild Master. "I only intend for him to tag along, and see the work we do in person."

"Then I see no issue." said Gelt, then looked at me.

"I'm Gelt." he said, then pointed to the faster one. "That's Marad. You know Kelst. The big guy is Haneteku. He doesn't speak all that much."

Oh my god, this is a five man band isn't it?

Gelt's the leader, Marad's the lancer, Kelst is the chick, and the guy taking up half the room is the Big Guy, obviously.

Does that make me the Smart Guy?

No, Author-God, you are not squeezing me into this trope. I refuse.

That said, this would be a good opportunity to actually learn something. If they kill some stuff, I might even be able to get a free adornment out of it if I butter them up enough.

"Yeah, this is fine. When do we leave?"