Raika feels awake. The decision, the enlightenment of self, feels like a weight has shifted, gone from a burden to be struggled against to something that only adds to her strength. She slips Dink back over her neck, letting it rest comfortably against her collarbone and hum contentedly against her.
She looks out over the pond.
“I don’t know if you’re sentient,” she says, “and I have no damn clue if you can understand me. I’m going to try to make this as clear as I can.”
With a Blacksteel claw, she cuts open her right palm, letting some blood fall into the water of the pond. It begins to writhe immediately, pulled down into the depths like an invisible whirlpool has shown up.
“I won’t be around to feed you when I leave. Make of that what you will.”
Because she is, she realizes. Leaving. Soon, probably.
She gives it an extra-large serving of her blood, the crimson of it so bright it’s like a deep neon, and the glow of it vanishes as it hits the water. Even with her senses, it’s hard to tell, but she’s pretty sure she can literally feel the borders of the pond grow, ever so slightly.
Make of it what you will, she’d said. She means it.
Dink rumbles in near-silent agreement against her, and she can’t help but smile.
She walks right back to the cabin, basket of bread and tomatoes forgotten by the pond, and finds her way over to where Li Shu, Qen Hou and Jin are sitting. Qen Hou notices her first, the eddies in his cultivation shifting and then falling quiet as he stops pulling in Qi, while Li Shu needs Jin to politely touch her elbow to get her attention.
“I’m leaving,” Raika says.
Li Shu blinks. “Oh! …ok? To where?”
“And when?” Qen Hou asks.
“I don’t know, and soon. But I don’t want to stay here too much longer. There’s too many things I want to do. I’m not… content here, like I wanted to be. I needed it, that’s for damn sure, but I think we’ve passed that point. There are too many things I want to see, too much I want to do, and too much of the world that I just really disagree with and want to beat the shit out of. The Empire is going to keep growing, and eventually, no matter where we are, it’ll be there too, and… I don’t have a deep ideal of the world or anything. I just refuse to live under its thumb again, having seen the sorts of people that hold all the leashes. So I’m going to go. Probably to the fourth ring for now, eventually all the way to the fifth, and when I have… when I’m strong enough, and have seen enough of the world to make my choices with the weight of a greater self behind them, I intend to come back and fuck some people up. Taurus said his plan kicks off in around two to three more years. Whatever that means to him, I know it’s going to be messy, and that’ll be my cue to come back. That’s enough time for me to get a good look, I think, especially if I start taking risks in my growth again.”
Li Shu nods, slow, while Qen Hou has a look on his face that- oh. Asshole’s holding in a laugh.
She crooks an eyebrow at him, and it finally breaks free, an actual giggle coming out of him at the look she’s giving him.
“I’m not laughing at you, I swear,” he gasps. “It’s just… that’s the most you thing I’ve heard in a while. Was starting to think you’d actually mellowed out.”
“I have mellowed out! I’m as relaxed as I’ve ever been.”
“All the more reason it was about time you went and did something absolutely insane,” he says, shaking his head.
She rolls her eyes, but smiles right alongside him as Li Shu watches the exchange, more than a little entertained.
“Well,” she says, “if you’re going, then I’m going with you. It’s an incredible opportunity to study cultures and creatures from outside the Empire’s control, and you’ll need some kind of support if you want a perspective on your modifications. I think it’ll be good for you to travel with someone anyways, so don’t try and-”
Raika raises a hand, forestalling Li Shu’s defense. “All good. I’m happy to have you along. You’re an adult who can make her own choices, and you’d be a big help. We’re both a long way from who we were a few years ago.”
Li Shu nods, harrumphing. “Damn right.”
“What about you, Qen Hou?”
He shrugs. “ I… I think I’ll stay in the third ring for now. Hao Nera’s been cooking up an idea ever since that lion-thing showed up, and I’d like to help him with it. Beyond that, I could use some time to consolidate my cultivation before I attempt to form my Nascent Soul. My growth has been rather intense, between the environment and both of your help, but I’d rather not get a tribulation in the middle of a beast tide, and I think I need to understand myself a bit better before going off to something new. I’ll miss traveling with you, Li Shu, but I think my place might be with Hao Nera as we pursue our own goals. That’s probably something you should discuss with him too, but… we’re cultivators. So long as we don’t die, I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”
Li Shu nods, though she seems a bit heated at the kind words. Raika smiles softly as she watches her friends talk this through, and feels how steady Qen Hou’s Qi and heartbeat are in his choice.
Which is when she turns to the newest member of their group.
“So, Jin. What do you want?”
He blinks, his eyes as wide and blank as a prey animal staring at a hunter. He doesn’t look panicked, not really, just stunned enough that it’s taking a minute or so to process things.
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
“We just met a few days ago, but you seem a decent kid. And clearly you got touched by the Cold Sun, maybe even have an affinity for ghosts from beforehand, so it’s at least partially my responsibility. If you want, we can leave you here in the cabin with supplies to last you a good while. Maybe Qen Hou and Hao Nera can find something for you to do, maybe you sell some supplies and get yourself a place in town, whatever you want to do, on your head be it. Or. if you want, and if you prove to me in the next few weeks that you have the potential to not fucking die at the first sign of danger… you can come with me.”
“To the fourth ring?” Li Shu asks, a bit incredulously. “I… Raika, as a healer, I can’t-”
“What do I have to do?” Jin asks.
“We’ll start training tomorrow. You’ll need to get into a good ways into Qi-Gathering realm and show consistent growth as you do. Neither Li Shu nor I would be particularly specific teachers; we’re not array or formation experts, we’re not summoners, and I barely even count as a cultivator, so I can’t guarantee we can find or teach you techniques that best suit you. If, while we’re traveling, we find someplace you want to stay, you’re free to go at any time. But if you manage to impress, then I’ll make you a deal to guide you, protect you, and help you grow in whatever ways I can. Deal?”
“...Deal.”
Raika nods. “Excellent. I’ll cook dinner tonight. Li Shu, in the meantime, I’d appreciate it if you could give him some idea of the basics and make sure we won’t kill him by accident tomorrow. I’ll talk to Hao Nera once he’s back. There’s some things I need to work on in the meantime.”
She gets up, part of her mind tracking the others, most of it focused on what needs to happen next, and heads over to one of the ridges of the valley. The pond is all well and good, but sometimes a good bit of height to look over the world has its benefits.
She has one partially formed and two complete Truths. Rounding out the third one will be a big boost to whatever happens in their journey, and is one of the better tools she has in her arsenal. Her Engine, with the new modifications, should be more controllable, but she’ll have to see if she can activate and sustain it for prolonged periods without it spiraling out of control, so there’s testing required there. She needs to track and see how much Dink has grown, and if it’s gained any new abilities in the time it’s gone without use.
But one thing that can help her get better at everything, all at once, is what she has growing now: new neural architecture. New brains, so to speak.
Her three-way split, despite how much it’s helped, is… inefficient. Simplistic. On top of that, her human brain is just very literally not designed to deal with her new biology or psychology. She’s read up on it some, consulted with Li Shu here and there; a brain is one of the most adaptable tools in the world, regrowing from damage and growing directly as a result of new patterns and thoughts. However, some of the speed of that growth is dependent on Qi theoretically using the Soul itself to process what the brain can’t fathom, which Raika can’t do. Despite all her growth, she still has no direct access to her Soul, and no way to achieve it that she knows of without new rituals or growing new spiritual organs of some kind. In short? She needs a better brain, one that can process and interact with all she’s experiencing.
One sub-mind, barely a nugget of brain matter, geared with Qi, sheer will, and alien instinct, is enough for her to fully control and synergize her senses. She’s planted three more in herself already. If she can create new subconscious processes, new ways of experiencing information, hell, new ways of thinking, then she can begin to automate what currently needs to be manual. More support structures for her brain to deal with overstimulation, micro-managing her body parts, maybe adding more control and nuance to what’s already there.
At this point, she’s comfortable with the fact she’s not making a new brain, not really. Even if she could build one wholesale, unless she actively copied her own, it would just be inert grey matter, responding to stimuli it just doesn’t have. Unless she links them up to her hearts, they don’t learn to send heartbeat-related signals. Unless she connects them to her brain, they don’t seem to experience thoughts. She’s cultivating material that can be trained, not actual minds… but it opens up possibilities.
She keeps her first “sub-mind” connected to her senses, processing all her stimuli, and then adds one of the other sub-minds to it, conjoining them into an asymmetrical lump. At first the submind’s processing gets sharper, the synesthesia clearer, but that’s not what she’s looking for, and the Mask guides the Flesh on what’s needed. Slowly, adjustments begin to form, and a clearer distinction between sections.
Above, her primary submind analyzes sensory input, while below, her secondary submind starts learning how to connect that input inside her body. It’s not enough to be able to sense where a wound is or how fast her hearts are beating, she needs to feel and process every blood vessel in her body at once, as well as how each of them interacts with muscles, organs and more. This submind, together, she calls her “sensory-analysis” submind, letting it begin to develop and adapt to its new form.
Trusting her instincts, she taps Dink against her forehead, letting the feeling of that vibration cement itself in her memory before leaving the submind inactive.
For her second submind, located just behind the first, she once again copies the sensory information, but starts to filter out anything but the sensation of Qi. She takes this small piece of herself, connects it to her senses, and then, one by one, teaches it to ignore those senses entirely. Her renewed curse means she’s much more resilient to it than before, but in some ways that makes it easier to sense: she’s not a sand bank for the waves, she’s a stone, and each ripple comes through clearer. Synesthesia is nice and all, and rapidly helping her see Qi in more than one way, but she’s still blind when it comes to sensing it as cultivators do. She does her best to tune that particular submind to just Qi, rather than her other senses, to see what it can do.
Before she disconnects it, she feels the long-forgotten sharpness of the Qi in her veins become a bit sharper, a bit clearer, even as she feels waves brushing against her outer body more clearly. Not much… but a good start.
Once again, she taps Dink to her forehead, memorizing the frequency and letting it sink in and fully dissipate before moving on.
For the third and final submind, she makes one that’s the largest of the three by about a centimeter. It takes almost three hours of feeding Qi-enriched blood into it before it goes to a proper size, even with her Truths transforming materials: brains are much more precision and resource intensive than anything else she’s tried to make.
As it forms, she shapes it to superficially imitate the frontal part of her own brain, supposedly assigned to higher thought. She has two minds, dedicated to her senses, her body, and her soul, the Qi around and within her; this new mind is for something more direct.
She’s only human. She can only make choices so fast. But if she can train part of herself to look forward, to try and guess things, to pick up and analyze on details she might brush over…
Yes, this would make a good supplement to the Mask.
By the time she’s done, it’s actually a little late for dinner. The world is beginning to glow again as the sun falls apart into a tangle of writhing forms on impact with the southern horizon.
One last time, she taps Dink to her forehead, and memorizes the vibration and tune that sings through her as she works with her oldest new friend.
She holds him firmly as she stares at the sunset, at a world that glows so bright and is so full of strange, twisting shadows.
“One step forward, onto the path,” she whispers.
Dink, as seemingly inert and utterly alive as always, sings out a note of agreement into the coming sunset.