“I-is this a good idea?”
A young man sighed as he looked at a house on a hill. A stone fence surrounded it and he stood in front of its wooden gate. It was small and quaint which meant it was the right place, according to the townsfolk.
“Norris is that you!?”
“Norris?”
“Just a second, is that one of Colleen’s boys?”
“I can't believe you're alive. She just stopped talking about you one day.”
“Yeah, she decided to go to that old hill. Wait a minute are you, Norris!?”
While the majority of the town had no idea who he was, a couple of the old folk he asked seemed to recognise him.
He remembered the reactions he got as he asked around town for her, and felt dread just thinking about going to see her.
He stood by the gate and questioned whether he should even enter.
“There's always tomorrow. Right, right, I can come tomorrow after I find some lodging. It's been twenty years since I’ve been here, so I can't remember but, they must have an inn somewhere right?”
He tried to turn himself around but he knew this was something that had to be done. With every day he avoided her, her wrath would likely grow exponentially (in his mind at least).
He slapped his face a few times and pumped himself up.
“Just say hello, just say hello, just say hello. Alright! Let's do this!”
He opened the gate and… nothing happened.
“Huh? No voice in my head? No immediate attack? What's going on here?”
He took another step and just as before nothing happened. Was he just misremembering his experiences as a child?
“No surveillance magic? No traps? Am I even in the right place?”
He had already entered so he might as well check with the residents. Maybe she moved away all this time? He couldn't imagine people paying too close attention to her.
As he walked up the hill, he heard strange noises followed by shouting. “Get back here you little shit!”
“Yup, it's her.” Every bone in his body was telling him to back away yet he continued forward.
The chaos got louder and louder as he approached until he opened the front door.
He was greeted by quite the sight. The furniture on the inside had been turned upside down (figuratively, of course, some were just on their sides while others were dirtied with a brown liquid). But he had no time to wonder what happened as something ran straight into his stomach.
“Gah!” He exclaimed.
“Guaghee!” Whatever ran into him exclaimed.
He looked down to see-
“Who the hell are you? You know what never mind, just hold that bastard still.”
He did as she commanded and held him tight. It struggled, and its warmth combined with its smooth skin left him feeling bizarre. He wasn’t exactly a fan of forcefully grabbing small children.
“Wait a minute, don't tell me I have a new brothe-”
He looked down to see…
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A goblin.
His face went blank and he had to really observe what he was looking at.
(“No. There's no way.”)
He stared at him closer and the goblin looked up and stared at him back.
(“Why is there a goblin here?”)
He had a white head of hair and he wore the clothes of a child.
(“Wait a minute, are those mine?”)
The time for observation was over as he felt something wrap around him and the small goblin.
He and the goblin were forcefully dragged from the entrance to the living area. The wielder of whatever held them made sure he was the one that landed on the floor instead of the creature on his stomach.
The wielder quickly ran over and whatever was wrapped around him disappeared.
She grabbed the goblin off him and held him in the air.
“I don't care how much you hate it, if you stink you're gonna take a goddamn bath.”
She said as she shook the poor creature around. She turned her attention to the man on the floor.
“So what do you want?”
“Well, uh-”
“Speak up ya bastard. You just waltz into my home like you own the place and nearly let the little guy escape. You must have some big balls on ya too, huh? Answer me you-”
She got a better look at him.
She rubbed her hand against her head as she tried to recall where she had seen him before.
“Not the host club… not the training centre either… you bastard you have a really recognisable face. But you're not all that in the looks department. Who the hell are you?”
The grey-haired woman asked. He recalled what her age was supposed to be and was pretty much convinced he went to the wrong address or at the very least this was a very different person than he was thinking. Maybe they were another one of his siblings? Because other than the grey hair, she didn't look anywhere near past thirty much less 67. She also wore a sundress with flower patterns which was understandable given the time of the year but was also something he believed that woman would never be caught in. She bore a striking resemblance to his sister, so the sibling possibility didn’t seem unlikely.
“Um, h-hello-” He meekly greeted.
“Get on with it you bastard I don't have time to waste. Hear to challenge me? I kill your parents? Well, tough shit I got better things to do, piss off.”
“Colleen…”
The woman raised an eyebrow at that name. “Mind speaking a whole sentence this time, wise guy?”
“I-i'm looking for Colleen Brutalitas?”
“For fu- That's not my name, some dipshit in the capital made it up for their stupid novel!” She shouted. “My name is Colleen Wagner and as I'm sure you already know I'm the War Witch.” She looked like she'd rather be anywhere than here at this moment. “So speak up little boy, why have you just entered my home like you belong in the place, eh!?”
“Mom?”
A wave of emotions took over her, filled with both pleasant and unpleasant when he said those words.
“So you've come back, haven't you Tobias.” She set the goblin down and she picked him by his collar.
“Wait, wait, I think you have the wrong idea!” He pleaded.
“After all I did for you.” She let him go and clenched her fist.
“Hold on, I'm not Tobias, it's me Norris.”
“...”
“...”
“Norris? The little boy, Norris?”
Norris looked ready to defend with his hands raised but he slowly put them down.
“Yeah, that's me?” he said unsure.
She cleared her throat and pulled a chair over using a string of light. She sat down and crossed her legs.
“Ah, Norris, what brings you here?” She asked in a much calmer and gentler tone.
“What brings me here?” He scratched his head before looking around. “I, uh, wanted to see you.”
A silence engulfed the room for a few moments before she responded.
“Oh. Oh. Are you strapped for cash or something? Listen I know we're blood but it's not like I'm living it u-”
“What, no. I just wanted to meet my mom.” He quickly responded.
A small smirk formed on her face. “Could you repeat that?”
“I wanted to meet you. It's been some time-”
She got up from the chair and began cackling to the skies.
“Serves you right you little bastard! I knew one of you would come back. You can try to brainwash them all you want but they know the-” She stopped herself and cleared her throat. “I see. I'm glad to have such a good child like you.”
“Uh-huh.”
He looked towards the kitchen area and noticed…
The woman noticed him looking at something as well and turned around.
“Ah! Hey you little bastard, what do you think you're doing?”
She ran towards the kitchen.
The little green gremlin had taken down a bag of flour and torn it open. He scooped it up with his hands and began eating it.
She slapped the powder out of his hand and picked him up.
“You aren't in the wilderness, stop eating things before I cook them. Ugh, is raw flour even edible?”
The little green creature went as limp as a rag doll when the woman grabbed him. He seemed content chewing on the powder still left in his mouth.
Norris watched with his jaw agape.
(“That's a goblin. And she's treating it like a child…”)
Now goblins weren't particularly threatening nor deadly but they were still monsters no matter what way you looked at them. And to interact with one so casually, didn't help the preconceived notions he had before coming here.
(“Could she be breeding them? Maybe she's planning to start small with a village then eventually take her vengeance on-”)
He was so preoccupied with his thoughts and what her interaction with the goblin could mean he didn't notice her walk over.
Seeing the look on his face, she smacked his head.
“I don't know what you're thinking but I already don't like it.”
“Wha- no, no, I wasn't thinking anything. It's just that…”
She rolled her eyes. “You weren't thinking but you have something to comment on. Are you saying you're a dumbass who speaks without thinking?”
“...” Norris looked away without so much as a word.
She sighed and looked around for a few moments. She placed the goblin on the ground and held his hand.
“You got something to ask right?”
Norris turned to her, almost shocked.
“Oh, right you are a kid of mine, aren't you? Guh, I suppose I should be a bit more easy on you.” She weakly remarked as she scratched her head. “Go on, ask what you want.”
He hadn't seen her in a while but he was sure this was out of the norm for her. But he wasn't going to turn down the offer.
“Why do you have a goblin with you?”
“Oh, you mean little Midori here?”