Jay sat atop Akira’s roof and stared at the swathes of terracotta surrounding him. The orange-brown tiles of Reveller’s Octant far darker and duller than the last time he’d laid eyes on them.

Blustering winds tugged at his red robes. Jay knew a storm was on its way. He’d sit here until it came.

“You heal with people Jay, not on your own.”

“If you leave a wound alone it festers, it rots, and it never truly recovers.”

Jay wanted to focus on Lyra, he desperately wanted to, but he couldn’t dislodge Akira’s words from the forefront of his mind.

Is he right?

Of course, Jay could just dismiss his friend’s words as sentimental soft talk. He could also accept them and admit he was wrong. He was an expert on punching people, not therapy.

But would doing either of those strike the memories from his mind?

The days, weeks, and months after Jules died were a hazy smear in Jay’s memory. Details had dulled over time, but some things remained clear as day. Some things he could never forget.

“It’s all going to be okay.”

“Don’t worry. Don’t cry.”

“I’m here for you.”

The soft voices sounded like nails on a fucking chalkboard to young Jay. How the fuck did they know it was gonna be okay?

They didn’t know shit.

They wouldn’t be here for him.

No. They’d run away.

Just like he did.

Jay scraped his knuckles against the coarse ceramic tiles beside him. The unsettling fuzz brought him back to the present as the first droplets of rain landed on his face.

If I’d let them help me, would I have been happier?

Probably.

Is that what I wanted?

The unassailable mountain that was the Second Chance Coliseum towered over the horizon. A brushstroke of brilliant white plastered on an overcast sky that inched towards blackness.

If I was happier, would I have trained so obsessively?

Would I have pushed as hard to become the champ?

Would I have so desperately sought Harmony?

…

What do I want more?

The black shadow of Julian’s legacy no longer loomed over Jay, replaced by his near-unreachable silhouette waiting on the horizon.

Jay strived to claim the heavyweight title his brother could never fight for. It was the only thing that had mattered for the last twelve years.

Even at the coliseum, the urge to honour Jules had spurred him forward at times.

But Julian was alive now, no longer simply a driving force for Jay’s ambitions.

So why did Jay still want to fight, why did he still yearn for greatness?

What do I want?

----------------------------------------

Jay churned through his thoughts until the pounding rain drumming against his head made it impossible to think.

He wished the storm could wash his troubles away, cleansing his mind and making space for thoughts of Lyra. It never could, so he had to settle for quietening them. Drowning them beneath its noise.

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Even after they’d ran through all of Lyra’s fights, Jay and Akira still couldn’t think of anything helpful. They'd agreed to check up on her tomorrow, Jay in the morning and Akira in the afternoon. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

Sitting alone and looking up at the coliseum, Jay wondered what the hell he could say to Lyra. He had the rest of the day alone to think of something meaningful.

Something more effective than What’s up, wanna talk?

----------------------------------------

“What’s up?”

…

“Wanna talk?”

…

Jay leant against Lyra’s bolted shut bedroom door, waiting for an answer. He heard a shuffle, but no reply.

Well at least she’s not dead.

“You overlayed your clone’s arms perfectly on top of your own, didn’t you? That’s why when we watched your last fight together, before the gorilla fight, I couldn’t see you using essence. You used the clone to amplify your original attacks instead of separating them.”

…

The uncomfortable silence stretched on until a soft sigh from behind Lyra’s door broke it.

Nice!

“My sister just died in the coliseum. And you come here to talk about fights?” Lyra’s muffled voice sounded gentler than usual.

“You really don’t know about anything other than fighting, do you?”

Not so nice…

Lyra’s voice cracked in a coarse cry-laugh at Jay’s bumbling social skills.

Better than nothing, I guess.

“So… How you doing?” Said Jay. If he couldn’t get through to Lyra with thoughtful words, perhaps his awkwardness could push her into a response.

“Shit.”

Makes sense.

“What’ve you been doing?”

“Nothing.”

Makes sense too.

“You gonna start doing something soon?”

“No.”

“You probably should.”

“I know.”

“Are you gonna?”

“No.”

…

What do I do now?

“Well, doesn’t look like I can say anything useful.” Said Jay, kicking off from Lyra’s door. “Akira’s coming around this afternoon. Hopefully he’s better than me at this kinda thing.”

Jay's voice hardened.

He wasn’t pleading with Lyra anymore.

“If he can’t drag you out of there… Then I’ll find something that’ll force you out.”

…

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Lyra stared blankly at her bedroom wall, anxiously biting down on her lip as she waited for the sound of her front door shutting.

Click.

She collapsed back onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling with eyes cursed to never cry.

She wanted to.

She desperately wanted to.

Yet another thing taken from her. Yet another thing she had no control over.

Lyra waited until she thought Jay had left the building.

And she screamed.

She knew he was right. She knew he was trying.

She knew she couldn’t stay in her room forever. The world outside wouldn’t simply wait for her.

But does it even matter?

----------------------------------------

Jay sat on the cold stone tiles of the coliseum pavilion, resting his back against the pedestal of a gladiator’s statue. This one belonged to an ocean harmoniser called Serino. Serino had decided to go all out on his ocean theme by using a net and trident in his fights. His neck even had gills although Jay wasn’t sure how useful they’d be in the coliseum. A projection displayed one of his early E grade fights in Jay’s peripheral vision.

Jay didn’t pay it too much attention.

Instead, he stared up at the Second Chance Coliseum.

He’d get no guidance from the gladiators carved into the coliseum’s cubbies, but each fighter gave his eyes a place to rest while his mind constantly churned.

There wasn’t much he could say to help Lyra. Akira might have a better chance than him, but Jay still didn’t have much hope.

What else can I do?

He thought about Lyra. About her character, the way she fought and the way she lived her life.

‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself and fight’?

Even Coach wouldn’t be that harsh.

Jay flicked his eyes back to the fight. Serino had somehow created a gigantic tidal wave within the newbie arena. It rolled towards his opponent while he followed close behind, using the crash to obscure his advance. The wave engulfed Serino’s poor opponent before stopping instantly, trapping him in a sphere of water.

Serino impaled his entrapped opponent with his trident before giving the camera a wink and a bow. The newbie arena faded to black before sending Jay to the fight selection screen.

Jay’s eyes darted between the screen in front of him, and the coliseum behind it.

Well I can’t ask Lyra.

Can’t ask Akira either. He’ll probably convince me it’s a terrible idea.

He settled on the selection screen, glancing over the thumbnails of Serino’s other fights.

Jay hesitated before swiping back to his rankings, he knew what they’d tell him. He was 500th after his fight with Davad.

Alias

Lightning Leonard

Organisation

Second Chance Coliseum (Soulbound)

Grade

E

Rank

499

Offence

452

Defence

560

Strategy

409

Instinct

409

Vitality

511

Speed

332

One step closer to the top.

He swiped back to the fight selection screen, before returning to his rankings.

Guess I’ve got to figure it out myself...