~ * ~ * ~
Shanti found Shreya in their bedroom, sitting on their shared cot. She was looking all...upset and down on herself and had that usual Shreya woe-is-me look on her face.
"Are you okay?" Shanti spoke slowly.
"Yeah..."
"Then I'm gonna go." She ventured towards the door. When Shreya didn't say anything, she stopped and turned back around. "Nevermind, I'm not gonna go. But you've gotta start talking."
"If you want to go back to Danilo, you can."
"C'mon, don't tell me to come here and then brush me off. Talk." Shanti sat down beside her.
Shreya picked at the cot. "Exile sucks."
"Yeah, and...? Do you wanna talk about that?"
"It made me think about a lot of things," Shreya went on. "Do you ever think about any of the things that happened when we were younger?"
Shanti sucked in her bottom lip. "Like what? Be specific."
"When we were hunting with Mama and Papa. Those things." Shreya scooted backwards, and put her back against the wall.
"What about those things?" Shanti laughed nervously.
"I..."
"Say it."
"I think they used me. I know that sounds weird, but it's all I could think about during the exile."
"You were part of the hunt, so what?" Shanti shrugged. "I don't see what's so wrong about that. You use the resources that you've got."
"Is that what you think?"
Oops. Maybe she should have phrased that differently. "We needed food and they knew how to get it. I could've helped out but you know that I sucked at that. You were the one who was good at talking to them, 'cause you had that thing about you."
"And you think that was okay?"
"It's something that we had to do! Why are you getting all offended?"
"Because it wasn't fair," Shreya glared at her. "It wasn't right."
"Oh no, not this 'it wasn't right' bullshit all over again."
"We tricked them."
Shanti groaned. "You think we would've eaten if we came out and told them that, hey, we're gonna kill you? No, hunting doesn't work that way."
"How can you call it hunting?"
"It's predator and prey stuff. Why are you acting like this? If this is what exile does to a wolf, remind me to never be exiled," Shanti said. "You're...wow, I don't even know what to say. You're actually upset that we're alive?"
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"I don't mean it like—"
"That's what it sounds like! You're crying about old shit from years ago, shit that we had to do to survive. Is that what's pissing you off, that we're here and they're not?"
"Let me explain—"
"That's the way that it would've been if we didn't do what we did," Shanti finished for her. "It was either us or them. You know what those days were like. You were there."
"No one acts like they were there," Shreya said. "Everyone pretends like things happened differently. We're not as great as everyone thinks."
Shanti flinched. "Am I dreaming? I can't really be hearing this right now..."
Shreya said, "I can't be the only one who thinks this way. Everyone's burying their heads in the sand."
"Look, I don't know if it was the exile that messed you up or if this was a conversation a long time coming," Shanti said, "but what you're saying is too much for me. What am I supposed to do about this?"
"I don't know."
"We can't go back in time. Hell, if we could, I wouldn't want to. There's nothing immoral about survival. All of those prey...they're just prey, Shreya."
"Humans aren't our prey."
"Are you talking like this because of your spy shit? You've hung out with that girl twice and already you're pulling this 'leave them alone' shit?" Shanti growled.
"That's not what I meant, either. You keep jumping to conclusions."
"I'm getting involved."
"What?"
"I'm going to go with you next time. Something has to be going on," Shanti threw up her hands. "I've got to see what's so special about her that she's messing with your head."
"Don't." Shreya was a little too quick with that defense.
"Protective, huh?"
"I've got it handled."
"We'll see about that."
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A/N: That's it for Chapter 12! Next update on RRL will be Chapter 13.1.
The latest chapter (Chapter 24) is out now on Redwood Crossing's main website. Voting for that chapter will end on Tuesday, July 5th at 11:59 PM EST.